Holiday riddle/story/quote challenge

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Do you have a humorous holiday riddle, story or quote? Post what you have and let’s see if anyone can guess your riddle or enjoy your sentiment, one liner or observation. It’s the season for reason. Who wants to play? Here are a few examples to get us started.

Here’s a Jeopardy format holiday riddle:

Q: Name two gifts that have great value but cost nothing.
A: What are Acceptance and Understanding?

Quotes:

The only blind person at Christmastime is he who has not Christmas in his heart. - Helen Keller

A Christmas wish: May you never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten.

Toast:

I wish you a Merry Christmas, a Happy New Year, a pocket full of money and a cooler full of beer.

May you have the gladness of Christmas which is hope; The spirit of Christmas which is peace;
The heart of Christmas which is love. – Unknown

Favorite holiday song:

Deck the halls with boughs of holly… Don we now our gay apparel…” - traditional Christmas carol

I hope you have fun with this..

Happy Holidays
"It's a beautiful thing"

Comments

I do have a humurous quote

I've always loved to fish and have done quite a bit of it through the years.I was in the Navy at the time and the area outside of the base I was stationed at was heavily wooded with streams lakes and swamps. I owned a 4x4 dodge truck that my friend and I had modified a bit for off road and plowing through the shallower parts of the swamps.

So one day I go over to my friends room to pick him up to go fishing as we had agreed. His roommate asked if he could go, but as he knew some of the placed I tended to hike into he specified that he wanted to make sure where we went, I could drive to.

Grinning at my friend I said, "Sure, I can drive us right up to the river bank." of course I neglected to tell him that the path to the river was nothing more than a small animal trail.

On our way my friend, who was sitting in the middle of the bench seat, urged his roommate to put his seat belt on. His roommates only reply was he didn't believe in wearing them.

Arriving at the location of the animal trail I cut the wheel hard left, jumped the median and crossed the 3 lanes of oncoming traffic without slowing. Hit the underbrush and saplings at around 50 mph and kept going. small saplings beat against the front as I ran over them as we hit the first of two small sink holes. We went airborne coming out of the first one and the roommate without a seat belt on had somehow gotten turned upside down. He had just righted himself when we hit the 2nd, smaller, sinkhole which caused him to bounce his head off the roof of the truck.

Looking out the windshield he screamed, "There's no road!"

My friend, who had ridden off road with me quite often, calmly told him, "Sure there is, look behind us."

We the willing, led by the unsure. Have been doing so much with so little for so long,
We are now qualified to do anything with nothing.

A Toast

Rebecca Jane's picture

When my youngest step-sister (ten years older than me) got married the first time, her groom at the rehearsal dinner gave this toast... Now mind you, I was about ten and this was one of the funniest things I had heard at the time... So it's stuck with me the past 35+ years.

Here's to the Bee that bit the bull.
That set the Bull to bucking.
Here's to Adam... and to Eve
Who set the world to...

Eating apples...

I know I’m weird. The fact that I’m trans is probably one of the more normal things about me.

How about a high school cheer (we actually use.)

Patricia Marie Allen's picture

Rackety rackety ree,
Kick'em in the knee,
Rackety rackety rass,
Kick'em in the other knee.

Hugs
Patricia

Happiness is being all dressed up and HAVING some place to go.
Semper in femineo gerunt
Ich bin eine Mann