Svala

823 A.D.

The lichen covered rock I was sitting on wasn’t very comfortable, but as a Thrall, the lowest ranked member of the Ragnar clan, I must show my resolve. Complaining about how my butt ached wouldn’t help me move from Thrall to Herra. Most boys my age had long since moved on to higher ranks, but for me I was likely to be here indefinitely, sitting on this cold, damp, uncomfortable rock.

I watched as my father, Aesir Kar Gestsson, roared and swung his long axe viciously at his opponent’s shield. Aesir was his rank and that told everyone he was recognized as one of the very best fighters of the clan. He was huge, fought without fear, and was someone the other clans respected. Unless something changed soon I would dishonor my father. I was sixteen and still the same size as a twelve-year-old. Others my age had already moved up in the ranks and married.

I glanced out to the heavy clouds hovering over the land across the bay and the mists rising from the ocean. It was cold here all the time and the winds whipped furiously across the water making the waves too large for my small fishing boat. That’s why I was sitting on this rock watching my father teach the younglings to fight. There was a storm coming. I felt it in my bones.

With his opponent defeated, father turned to all the other boys and me. His voice was loud and commanding. He was a highly revered man in the clan. “When you fight, give no quarter and expect no mercy. Pair off.”

We all ran into the large circular space that was surrounded by gray monolithic stones, low, windswept trees, and rock and wood buildings with straw thatched roofs. I paired off against an eleven-year-old that likely had ten pounds on me. Bergfinn was his name and he was stocky and low to the ground. His father was a Berserker, known for their fierceness in battle. With no warning and a yell, he dove at me, tackling me in my mid-section and throwing me to the ground. Having trained with my father since I was old enough to hold a stick, I knew all the moves, but for every move I made, he countered with his quick reflexes and solid, muscular body. My coordination and timing were terrible.

As I struggled to my feet, I watched several of the young women our age watching us, but they weren’t watching me. I was skipped over by their keen eyes as they sought potential mates. Like a wild boar, my opponent thrashed me about and thrust his elbow into my jaw, spinning me around and causing me to land face-first in the mud. I lay there groaning and spitting blood as I watched several girls clap for my opponent before turning back to their chores.

I would have stayed there in the peace and tranquility of the soggy mud had not the horn sounded. Even as a lowly Thrall I had to respond to the call. Ignoring the pain in my jaw, I ran for the weapons rack and picked out a long spear before turning to face the sea. An ominous, low, rhythmic beat came to my ears from across the mist-covered waters.

I wasn’t afraid. I’d stand my ground and fight knowing Valhalla awaited me. As the rival clan boats appeared, I could see their men beating the sides of their gunwales with the flats of their axes. Their blue and red painted shields indicated they were from the Dagmar clan. Winter had been harsh for all the clans, and they were forced to attack a larger clan like ours for food and women.

From the moment the boats touched our rocky beach, the fight had begun. Our best fighters, led by Hersir Olaf Steffensson, our general, and my father, slammed into the Dagmar clan’s men before they even planted a foot on our soil. It would be easy to stand back in awe of our clan’s might, but that wasn’t me. With a yell, I ran forward, dodging an axe, rolling to the side, and thrust my spear into the calf of one of our enemy. My spear barely drew blood and I noticed too late the warrior’s massive shield swinging towards me. The blunt, flat surface of the shield knocked me ten paces away into the rocks.

By the time I regained my breath and staggered to my feet, it was all over. Our men had devastated the Dagmar clan’s raiders, had taken their boats and headed back out to sea. It was left to me and the other men to strip the dead of their valuables and weapons and set them alight on a pyre.

***

The sun was almost down when father arrived back home. Our clan’s marauders returned dragging five women with them. These were Viking women and they held their chins high even though you could see the depth of their fear in their eyes. Their clothes were torn and tattered, but this wasn’t completely due to our men, rather the condition of their home was desperate. Eventually, these women would find a place here with us and be the better for it. With every new skirmish we brought new blood into our clan. I always looked for a possible woman out of the newcomers to marry as none of the women that have been with the clan for any time would have anything to do with me.

Marriage was common, but also was divorce. Even if I convinced one of their fathers or guardians to allow me to marry, once she learned I would never rise above my station she would divorce me for certain. So even though I looked at them carefully, I knew our spoils of war would be nothing I could indulge in.

Father ignored me as he strode into the main long house where our High King sat. He and our Hersir would report on the battle and the plunder that lies across the waters at the Dagmar clan homesite. Turning away, I headed back to my home where I rubbed my swollen jaw and winced at my bruised ribs before heading to bed for the night.

***

The next morning, I was up and out on my fishing boat before most of the clan woke. The one area my father was proud of me was my ability to provide food. I caught more fish and snared more wild game with my traps than anyone else in the clan. Unfortunately, this was only one aspect of many that I was judged by.

I wouldn’t say that I was unloved. My mother looked after my younger and more promising brother and my father put his efforts into my training. Being the eldest, he always hoped I would suddenly grow and become a formidable fighter. Oftentimes, at night, I would hear his pleas to Odin that I would become a worthy man. Even though most of the Vikings had Christian influence, old traditions still ran deep, and my father tended to stick to the old ways.

There was a chill in the air this morning that didn’t bode well. Spring was late in coming and it seemed the warmth of the sun was perpetually blocked by thick layers of gray clouds. It was almost as if winter decided to gain another foothold and was fighting to keep summer at bay. The normally quiet morning water was already choppy, but we needed the additional fish and the more I could catch, the more we could store for the future.

I set my lines out as the rising sun attempted to cut through the clouds. This created an orange and red sky in the east and more signs that I needed to be ever vigilant. As the morning progressed, and as I pulled many fish from the sea, the waves and wind became higher and stronger. Getting concerned, I headed for a cove and to safety where I could ride out the storm and set about cleaning the dozens of fish I had caught. With a fire, I could begin smoking them.

Having tied up the boat, I started a fire under a rocky outcrop just as the rain and winds tore southward through the narrows. With nothing else to do, I began the process of cleaning the fish and removing the fish guts. It was with the largest salmon that my blade clipped a solid object where it shouldn’t be and as I reached in to pull the stomach free, I felt something inside. I used my knife to open the stomach and in the light of the fire, a golden glint came to my eye.

“It’s a ring.”

I reached for the ring inside the salmon’s stomach and upon touching it I was transported to a wondrous and mysterious place.

***

“You’re not quite what I expected. You’re not beautiful or handsome, large or fierce. This simply won’t do.”

The sun was warm as it beat down upon on my face. What happened to the cold rain and storm? Twisting my head, I looked up into the face of an angel, or a Goddess. I wasn’t sure which.

“Who are you? Where am I?”

“If I tell you where you are, you might figure out who I am. You are at Sessrumnir, in Asgard.”

“Asgard? The home of the gods?”

I rolled over and stood up. The woman before me looked unlike any woman I had ever seen before. Far from the harsh realities of daily life as a Viking, this woman was clean, lithe, and beautiful. Her golden hair was nearly blinding as it reflected the sunlight and her blue eyes penetrated my soul to the point my knees grew weak in her presence.

“You’re… You’re Freyja, the Goddess of love.” I bowed my head low in fear of being smote.

“Goddess of love and other things.”

“How did I get here? Have I died?”

Freyja laughed. “No. You’re not dead. This isn’t Valhalla. You found my ring.”

“Your ring?” I stared down at my hand. They were no longer filled with fish guts, only the ring remained as it gleamed and sparkled in my palm.

“There was a High King on Earth that requested a boon of me. Since he aided me in obtaining falcon feathers for my cloak, I decided to grant him his request. He asked that one day all the Viking clans would be united. I then created the ring, weaving into it a destiny before casting it into the sea. I told the High King that the person that finds this ring would be the one that brings unity to the clans.”

“You’re saying that I will bring unity to the clans because I found the ring?”

“Not exactly. There’s one problem that must be remedied first, Svala.”

“Svala? Svala is a woman’s…”

***

I was extremely cold as water lapped at my legs while rain pelted my back. I could feel smooth rocks between my fingers. Pushing myself up into a sitting position, wet, long, golden hair fell in clumped strands before my eyes. I tugged at them finding they were attached to my head before my eyes drifted lower to two breasts.

I was naked, and I was a woman. For the first time in my life I was truly afraid. How did this happen?

“You found my ring, Svala.”

I looked quickly around, unable to find the source of the words I had just heard. “Is this some morbid punishment of the gods?” My voice was like the sweetest of mead.

“Not at all. Your destiny awaits you, Svala Freyjasdottir.”

Her voice drifted off.

“Wait!” Freyja was gone and in the distance I heard voices.

“Down near the water… I swear someone was speaking.”

I’m a naked woman and there are people coming. I pulled my feet from the water and scrambled over a log and squatted down just as several women stepped onto the small rocky beach where I had been moments before. I recognized them as women from my clan. I needed to get back to Asgard; to Freyja. I needed to get her to undo what she did to me.

The women came closer to where I was. I need time. I stood and ran inland. My breasts bounced with each step and I could feel other subtle differences, but I couldn’t stop to ponder these things. I needed to get away.

“There! It’s a woman. After her!”

I was faster than they were, but I wasn’t aware there were others. I skidded to a stop, wrapping an arm over my chest and my other hand covering up my new womanhood. I was terribly frightened as I stared down the point of a knife. Three other women had been above me while the other two came up from below. I was shivering from the cold rain.

“Who are you? What are you doing on our beach? Answer me!”

“I’m…” Telling them my real name would be foolish. “I’m Svala Freyjasdottir. I seek shelter.”

One of the young women from the beach, Inga Slothisdottir, reached to touch me. “She’s very beautiful. Like Freyja herself. What should we do with her, Yrsa?”

Yrsa smiled. “We will be honored for bringing in such a prize.”

Inga nodded. “I’ll run ahead and bring something to cover her. We wouldn’t want the men to see her this way.”

Yrsa sneered. “You would suggest this, Inga. How long have you been flannfluga?”

“I’m not!”

Inga ran off as the other women surrounded me. Yrsa took the lead. “Don’t try to escape.”

I would freeze to death without fire or clothing. Back at the clan village I would find all I needed to survive and bide my time until I could confront Freyja again.

As we walked, I recognized the landscape and it wasn’t long before Inga returned to the group. She draped a heavy cloak over me. Knowing I was about to walk into a Viking camp full of men, I pulled the cloak tightly around my body.

It wasn’t long before I was guided into the main training area which also acted as the village square. Even though we kept to the edges to allow the men to train, my arrival hadn’t gone unnoticed. When the men spotted me, they paused in mid-battle to openly stare. Their eyes were filled with lust, passion, and in many cases, awe. Just like the gods to do this to a me, a man. I pulled the cloak even tighter as I considered all avenues of escape.

With the training suspended, father approached our group. He was angry at being disturbed. “What is the meaning of this?

Yrsa spoke to him. “We’re very sorry to interrupt your training, Aesir Kar. We found this woman on our beach. It was as if she were washed ashore.”

There was a flicker of annoyance, and the briefest hint of sadness in father’s eyes. “I will take her to the High King.”

The women stepped aside as father took my arm and guided me across the training area. I wanted to say something, but there was nothing I could say. Father bowed as he entered, and I did likewise. It wouldn’t be a good thing to ignore protocol before the High King of the clan.

“What have you there, Kar? Another spoil of war?”

“Our women found this one on the beach, High King Ragnar.”

The High King turned to me. “What is your name and how did you arrive on our lands? Are you spying for another clan?”

“Certainly not, High King. My story is a strange one. My name is Svala Freyjasdottir. I was fishing and inside a salmon I caught I found a gold ring. When I touched the ring, I was brought to Asgard where Freyja herself spoke to me and gave me this name. She cast me back to the waters and I woke upon your shores.”

The High King laughed. “It is a strange name that you’re not named after your father. And just what did the Goddess of Love say to you?”

I didn’t dare tell him the truth as that would be considered an insult to suggest that I, a woman, might unite the clans. “She told me I was to serve well the clan I came upon.”

“And where are you from? What clan?”

“I’m afraid that I don’t recall, High King. I remember very little.”

“If nothing else, you can be our storyteller. Kar, you still have an empty bed?”

My father frowned. “It has been a moon since my son Lief was lost to us.”

A moon? That would have been twenty days or more.

“Perhaps the Goddess took your son and returned something more valuable?”

If he only knew. It was all true except for the valuable part. As a woman I would never be as valuable as the least of men.

My father tensed, but merely nodded.

“Then I put Svala under your guardianship, Kar. She appears to be of marrying age.”

“I have no dowry for her.”

“Her beauty is her dowry. Nevertheless, she is your responsibility.”

With a wave of his hand we were dismissed, and father escorted me to our home where he introduced me to mother.

“This is Svala Freyjasdottir. She was found washed up on the beach. Our High King has determined that she is our responsibility.”

“Why us?”

“No good deed goes unpunished. I just happened to be the one to bring her to his attention. He joked that we had a free bed and that the Goddess Freyja brought us something better from the sea than was taken.”

Mother pulled up a knife. “I’ll kill him for that!”

“Shhh… We can’t speak like that. What’s done is done. Svala looks healthy and she can be of help around here, especially with you pregnant. Find her some clothing and get her cleaned up.”

I hadn’t realized mother was expecting another child.

As father left us, mother looked at me with anger smoldering in her eyes. “Let’s look at you. You look a fright. Drop the cloak.”

I did as I was bid, ashamed of my new feminine body that I tried to cover with my hands and arms. The window and fire cast enough light for her to examine me closely. “Svala, is it?”

“Yes.”

“If the Goddess Freyja ever walked this earth, she would be hard pressed to look as beautiful as you. I have some spare clothing you can wear.” She turned away, then turned back quickly. “You will work hard and not disgrace this household.”

I shook my head. “I won’t let you down.”

She handed me a woman’s underdress, a dress, and a cloth for my hair. “Dry your hair and comb it out.”

I quickly got dressed, preferring not to be naked any more than necessary. A shiny metal piece hung on the wall allowing me to see my face for the first time. My hair was lush, full, and long; my lips were red and plump. My eyes were the most intense blue I had ever seen. I looked like Freyja.

“Hold up your foot.”

I did, and mother checked my foot size against my old boot. I was taller than I was before, but it looked like it might fit.

“Do you know how to cook or clean?”

“No.”

“Were you raised as a man?” Mother shook her head. “You will work in the garden, gather water, and clean. Each day, I will teach you to cook. Put these boots on, take that bucket, and bring me some fresh water.”

I sat down on my old bed and slipped on the boots. They were a little tight, but they were better than being barefoot. I put the cloak on and pulled the hood up wanting to mask my identity as much as I could. Even these actions made me fully aware of my new body as my breasts that seemed overly large moved underneath my clothing.

Stepping out into cool air, I saw that the rain had stopped, and my cloak was no longer needed. In fact, now that I was dry, the cloak made me very warm. Even so, I hesitated to be done with the heavy, anonymizing item of clothing. I reluctantly turned back and left the cloak before heading off to find the water.

Mother had always worn clothing that seemed of finer design and quality than other women. Even her old dress was of quality cloth and design. It was bound under my chest in a way that made my female shape much more exaggerated. With my hair dry and fanned out across my back, every eye turned towards me as I passed. Being new didn’t help, but what was worse was my beauty.

I looked forward to the brief respite of getting the water. How ironic was it that I wound up back in my own home? I tried hard to ignore my moving breasts and swaying hips, but it was to no avail. I wondered how women lived like this. What was harder to think about was that while I had a say, marriages were most often arranged. I could reject my father’s decision, but it might not go well to do so. The longer I was a female, the more likely father would get rid of me by marrying me off. By the looks of the men in the clan, there wasn’t one that didn’t seem to want me. I shuddered at the thought.

As I walked I silently cursed Freyja. You’ve doomed me. Why won’t you change me back? Nothing. Nothing but silence came back to me.

I carefully knelt next to the pool of fresh water aware of how everything felt different and my hair fell around the sides of my face. I stared at my reflection when it shifted slightly.

My reflection spoke to me. “I forgot to mention, Svala, that you are not to marry any man I do not approve of. You turned out very beautiful. Many men will vie for you, and I dare say many will die for you as well.”

“Change me back!”

“That’s not possible, Svala. The wheels are in motion; the ring’s destiny is unravelling. Your fate and future are now bound to all the clans.”

“Why? Why as a woman? Why not as a man?”

“Only a woman can change the world, Svala.”

The reflection shifted back to just me again. I bowed my head and wept, my tears fell into the water distorting my own image.

“You clean up nicely, Svala.”

I turned and hastily wiped my tears. Inga was smiling as she held her empty bucket.

“Do you miss home? Because it’s not so bad here.”

I scooped up the water and stood. “It’s not that I miss home, rather I’m not the same person I used to be.”

“I understand that. It only takes one neighboring clan to rape you a few times before you change. Is that what happened to you?”

“The Goddess Freyja sent me here.”

Inga’s eyes danced merrily as she smiled. “She sure did. That’s quite the entrance to land on our beach all naked. You’re just lucky we found you before the men did. Even with you clothed they can’t take their eyes off you.”

“Don’t remind me.”

Inga leaned in close and whispered. “You’re flannfluga then?”

Flannfluga was a woman that spurned the touch of men. I had to think about that for a moment. I glanced down at the water and I swear I saw Freyja’s reflection there mouthing the word no. The more I thought about it, the more I realized I wasn’t looking at Inga like I used to. She was pretty, but the thought of men right now… “I’m not anxious to be with a man.”

“Neither am I. It’s painful. I was married once, but he was mean and violent, so I divorced him. He was recently killed anyways. I was raped twice as well.”

There was a time that I pictured myself tearing a woman’s clothes from her body. I would imagine myself as victor over a battle and claiming the first woman I laid my eyes on. I realized a long time ago how foolish this was as I would never win a battle. I shuddered at how callus I had been now picturing how it would be on the receiving end. “I’m sorry for you.”

“Some women think it’s incredible.”

“I should get back. Tofa will be expecting me.”

“Is that where you’re staying?” Inga began walking with me. “Such a shame to hear about Lief. They say the storm took him. They found the boat and evidence of a fire, but he was nowhere to be found. He would never be a warrior, but I saw him spear another clansman in the leg once. That fighter was enormous. Lief was courageous. Aesir Kar was devastated.”

“Was that really only a moon ago?”

“Yes. Hard to believe it’s been so long now.”

“Indeed.”

***

Of course, it had all been nothing but a dream. As I laid there, I could smell the remnants of my fire and I expected to open my eyes to the rocky outcrop where I took shelter from the storm. The only confusing thing was that the ground felt softer than the rock I had been laying on.

“Get up, Svala!”

The soft whisper was tinged with anger and it sounded like my mother. This couldn’t be because I wasn’t home. I was in another part of the bay.

My eyes cracked open to find myself staring at the dimly lit cloth of my mother’s dress. I sat up quickly, instantly regretting my actions as my long golden hair spilled out over my shoulders and my breasts swayed beneath my undergarment. It hadn’t been a dream.

A woman’s work began before the men’s and ended late into the night. A good woman would be a tireless worker in support of her husband. I now found myself a member of the lowest social order.

Wishing this wasn’t the case wouldn’t change things and I promised mother to not disgrace the family. I mumbled a quick apology and slipped on my dress and boots. I immediately got to work, stoking the fire, donning my cloak, and taking the bucket to get more fresh water.

I stepped out of the small rock house and looked over the village. Blueish smoke spiraled up from chimneys in the early morning light. It was damp and cool, but the day promised to be clear and sunny. It was mornings like this that I used to love, but now with my new circumstances I found it difficult to smile. This was especially true when I relieved myself.

As the day progressed and the sun rose, I reminded myself that I was a Viking. No matter what the world or the gods threw at me, I was strong. I could overcome this. I could also make my family proud where I had failed before and so I set about my chores with resolve.

By the end of the day, I was exhausted. I had helped mother cook, clean, wash clothing, mend, and tend the garden. I spent the waning evening light learning how to perfect my stitching. Mother even offered a smile and a nod of approval which made me happy in this difficult situation I found myself in.

The next morning, I was up and awake before mother. I had retrieved water, cleaned a little, and was cutting up the vegetables by the time she came out.

“To be young again and so full of energy. If you keep this up, you will be recognized within the community.”

“I don’t wish to be a burden. This has been thrust upon you.”

“I wasn’t happy that the High King made us your guardians. Lief, our son, was a decent young man. He was small for his age and uncoordinated, but he provided food for us and for the entire clan. It’s sad in this modern world we live in that men aren’t recognized nearly as much for their character and providing rather than their fighting prowess.”

“If you find my being here difficult for you, I will find my own way. However, I’m very grateful for your hospitality.”

“You’ve been put into our care and we won’t shirk our responsibilities. You’ve created quite a stir among the eligible and not-so-eligible men in the clan. Have you given thought to marriage?”

“Did Kar share my story with you?”

“It sounds like a story someone would tell if they didn’t wish to share their past.”

“I wish that were true. The Goddess Freyja has spoken to me about marriage. She told me I couldn’t accept any proposal other than that which she approved of. I’m not anxious to be married and it would be nice to feel somewhat settled before I start thinking of such things.”

“There are men that have already spoken to Kar. I will gently suggest to him that you would like some time to adjust to your new surroundings.”

“Thank you. Unless you need me here, I will tend to the garden.”

“I wish Lief was still here in that he could bring us fish or a nice plump rabbit for dinner. Our meat stocks have dwindled since he was lost.”

Mother was lost in her thoughts as I slipped out of the house. While most roles were well defined, in the event a woman lost her husband, she would normally take up his responsibilities. This thought ran through my mind as I weeded the garden.

Inga soon joined me, and I found there was a stronger sense of community amongst the women. As a man, I rarely spent time with the other men in any social way. We were always talking about the next battle or something trivial, but the women formed real friendships. I can’t recall a time when I spoke as much to mother as I did this morning. Inga would talk my ear off about every detail of her life and the most recent gossip she heard.

“You seem to be doing better today, Svala.”

“It helps knowing that I’m not going to be immediately killed or raped. Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be a man?”

“If only. I would rule the world with my trusty axe at my side and my wench on my arm.” Her laugh was infectious, and I found myself laughing along with her.

“But you would have to fight, drink mead, and tell wondrous, boastful tales of your incredible might.”

“Yes. Such a hard life it would be. If men only knew what real work was. I think once a year the women should stop cooking, cleaning, and mending to allow the men to do those chores. Maybe then we would earn a little more respect. You’re smiling, Svala. You shouldn’t do that very often as it makes you even more beautiful.”

Inga’s words reminded me that I was something new and unique, at least for me. “This is weeded. I think I might set some snares and catch some fish.”

“Hunting and fishing? I wouldn’t have expected that of you. You would make a good husband and you would be far easier on the eyes than most of these brutes around here.”

Walking away from the garden, I felt somewhat at ease over my transformation. Before, I was never good enough. Now, people treated me differently. I still wasn’t happy, especially with every step that made my body bounce and shift differently, but I was feeling better.

I set several snares which were set too late in the day to produce any results, but by tomorrow we could expect to be eating something. I had no idea where my old boat was, but I had a few secret spots I used to fish from shore that were always promising. I rummaged through my old gear and set out several lines. I didn’t dare sit there like I used to as a woman’s work is never done. I went back home and mended a few items before coming back to the lines.

Sure enough, I had caught several fish. One was a large salmon. As I was cleaning that fish, I hit something hard with my knife and I cringed. Once again, I found the same gold ring in the stomach. I dared not touch it and yet I also had to.

Looking up into the clouds I expressed my frustration. “Is this a joke?”

“You should have the ring. I love my jewelry, but your destiny is tied to it. I did find the whole ring inside the salmon rather amusing.”

“If I take it, will you turn me back?”

“That’s not how destinies work. As I have mentioned before, only a woman can change the world. There is no going back to who you were, Svala.”

I looked down on the spiteful ring covered in fish guts. “It’s not okay, but I guess I have no choice.”

“That is the spirit.”

“Are all Goddesses so annoying?”

“I could have sent you back as a wild boar, but there is only so much uniting that can be done through food.”

I washed off the ring and tied it to some thread well hidden inside my dress. Later I would hide it in the house. “Better female than a boar.”

“One more thing, Svala. Beware of Erik. You’re stronger than you think.”

“What’s that supposed to mean? Freyja?” She was gone. She wasn’t really there to begin with, but the voice in my head was now gone. I shook my head in disbelief and felt my long hair slide across my back. Even with my anger at everything, the motion felt special to me and put a small smile back on my face.

I carefully put away my gear and brought the fish back home.

“Where did you get the fish, Svala?”

“I caught them. I also put out some snares hoping by tomorrow we may have some wild meat.”

“I won’t ask where you learned these things. Help me prepare them.”

I smiled at seeing a little sparkle return to mother’s eyes.

***

A week had past and my days were now filled with routine. I even cooked several times all by myself and I was feeling accomplished. My female body continued to remind me that I was no longer male, but as the clan got to know the new me, they were far kinder to me now than ever before. There were even moments that I forget all about my past life, only to be reminded of my new place in the social order.

Mother was very pleased with me as was father. Daily he expressed his thankfulness for being given my guardianship and what a help I had been to mother and in bringing in fish and meat. Mother told me I was being noticed more and more and not just for my looks. Apparently, my work ethic had been viewed by many as exceptional. Where the men rose in ranks that were titled, women were given untitled ranks and, according to mother, I was rising rapidly.

The unfortunate thing about rising in these ranks was that it made me much more visible and father was receiving regular requests for my hand in marriage. Thankfully, father decided to reject them all until I was another year older.

Today had started like most other days. Spring had fully come, and we often had sunshine in the mornings before rain storms came in the afternoons. I had been working in the garden with Inga and Yrsa when a large man came up from behind me and grabbed me by the hair. I flailed uselessly as he pulled me towards a building; my heels dug deep into the soft earth leaving furrows, but that did little to slow the man.

Yrsa and Inga were shocked and yelled at the man before they ran yelling for help.

Now I was alone with the man and he pulled me up off the ground and pushed me back down into some straw. “You’ve got this coming, girl. I went to Kar for your hand and he rejected me. Me! I’m a Berserker, a recognized fighter and good provider! No… You’re mine.”

I was deathly afraid, but I was also a Viking woman. I’ve seen other women do some real damage in a fight when raiders had come in the past. He reached for my dress and I smacked his hand aside. “Don’t touch me!”

“I am Erik Eldersson and you will be my conquest.”

When he said his name, I remembered Freyja’s words. I hastily scrambled to my feet, backing away as far as I could in the process. “You will have none of me!” Perhaps he wasn’t expecting retaliation, but my swift kick to his groin caused him to double over in pain. Looking around me, I spied a heavy wooden hay fork and grabbed it. I swung it around hitting his head causing him to collapse on the ground with his hands covering his face. Using my foot, I pushed him over onto his back and pressed the sharp tines of the fork to his throat just as father and other men rushed to my aid.

I was incensed and screamed at Erik. “Don’t ever come near me again!”

I was pressing the fork harder and harder when father pulled me back. I even spun away from father and rushed to hit Erik again much to the laughter of the other men. Father took the fork from my hand and pulled me to the side. I struggled to be free of his grip to chase after Erik again.

“Calm yourself, Svala. You truly are a Viking woman. He had no right to attack you, but this will become more frequent as long as you’re not wed.”

Father’s hands were on my shoulders holding me in place. I shook at first from anger, then slowly my shaking came from the fear that took hold. I had been lucky.

“He was going to rape me. By all rights and our laws, he could be put to death.”

“Not unless he actually raped you, which, by the looks of things, he received more than he bargained for.” Father chuckled, and the mood lightened a little. “I’m impressed by your ability to hold your own in a fight. You should always keep a blade with you. As Odin says, ‘Don’t leave your weapons lying behind your back in a field; you never know when you may need all of a sudden your spear.’ Go home to Tofa. Drink some ale to calm yourself.”

I ran home and was surprised at my sudden frailty. In tears and with a shaky voice, I explained to mother what had happened. She gently sat me down on my bed and wrapped her arms around me.

“This is the burden we women all share, Svala. Men are generally brutal and since we are physically weaker, they will take what doesn’t belong to them. There are good men out there. Kar is one of them. He is kind and gentle.”

Mother held me close for a long time.

***

Two weeks had past since my incident with Erik and each day I found myself growing more accustomed to my new body and role. My reflection no longer seemed foreign to me and I had begun to enjoy the beauty and gracefulness that came with being female. I was still somewhat afraid of the men and I avoided Erik at all costs, but I had seen him a few days after the incident and I felt my blood boil in my veins and I laughed when I saw his blackened eye from where the hay fork had hit him.

There were times I wanted to tell father and mother that I was Lief, but such a story would be hurtful to them without proof. In some ways I felt like I had a new chance at life. A chance to honor my parents and be of value to the clan.

I had been performing my chores when I spotted mother down by the water. She was crying as she lowered a small wooden toy boat into the water and pushed it out to sea. When she saw me, she wiped her tears.

“Lief would have been seventeen today.”

I hadn’t even realized it was my birthday.

“Is there any reason to believe Lief is not in Valhalla?”

“No. He earned his place even though he was never a fighter. He was courageous, kind, and a good provider.”

“I’m saddened for your loss.”

Her hand came to my cheek. “You will never replace Lief, but I feel like you’re very much my daughter. When is your birthday?”

“I hesitate to say.”

“Why?”

“I don’t wish to denigrate the importance of this day, nor am I ready to receive marriage offers.”

Mother laughed. “You know you have a choice. Tell me. When is your birthday?”

“It’s today.”

Mother smiled. “What a strange coincidence, but it means my timing is excellent. Come with me, Svala.”

Mother led us both back to the house where she pulled out a white dress. I could see her fine handiwork in the stitching and the design was beautiful and flattering.

“The summer festival is nearly upon us. You should have something to wear that isn’t a leftover.”

To receive a gift like this, one that had obviously taken much time and effort to craft, made my voice choke. It was beautiful, and I had a strong desire to wear it. “May I try it on?”

“Yes. I may need to make a few adjustments.”

Slipping out of my dress, I pulled the new one over my head. As it fell into place, I glanced at the mirror. It looked wonderful on me. I hugged my mother tight and thanked her just as the horn sounded.

“It’s a raid, Svala! Find the other women and run inland. Quickly!”

By the time I made it outside, the village was in chaos. A large clan had attacked and by the swiftness of their attack, our scouts must have been set upon without warning. Our fighters were just getting organized and the other clan took advantage of that fact. The fighting was fierce, and I skirted several battles as I ran out into the fields.

Catching up to Yrsa and Inga, we gathered the other women and ran inland, but the leader of our group made a wrong turn.

“Stop! Turn around!” I shouted, but their fear drove them onward. Reluctantly, I followed them, only to find we had become trapped in a box canyon. We huddled together as I tried to convince them to leave, but it was too late.

Three warriors from the attacking clan were now blocking our exit. I was afraid as a woman, but courage rose up in me as I looked upon the fearful faces of my clan’s women. Turning towards the warriors, I stepped between the women and the men. Inga tried to pull me back, but I moved away from her grasp.

A very large man with a red beard and full armor stepped towards me while the other two men laughed and held back. “This can only be Freyja herself. You will tell me if I am better than your husband, Odin.”

My chin rose, and I held my ground. “I’m Svala, and I will allow no harm to come to these women.”

For years my father trained me. He taught me to look for weaknesses and to use a distracted enemy to my advantage. It was either be raped and killed by these men or fight like our very lives depended on it.

The man laughed hard and turned mockingly to his companions. This was my opportunity. With his head turned away, I lowered my stance, and dove at his midsection. His back foot was in front of a rock and as the force of my attack pushed him back, he stumbled and fell over backwards. As he fell, I grabbed his knife from his belt and before he hit the ground, I had slashed his throat.

The other two warriors were stunned to the point they had not fully registered what had happened. Taking the long axe from the dead man’s hand, I leapt, spun in a circle, and slammed the axe into the chest of the second man. I moved quickly, my father’s lessons now taking hold in my new, lithe, body. I was no longer slow and uncoordinated.

The warrior staggered back from my blow, but he was still close enough to backhand me away. I was back on my feet in seconds. Wiping the blood from my lip, I held up the axe and knife, crouched low, and circled to the left. The second man was wounded from my blow so the third roared and charged me. Diving under his long axe, I rolled into his feet and sliced up with my knife across his groin as he fell face first. I kept rolling, got my feet back under me, spun, and with all my body strength, drove the long axe into his back.

I had to bend my knees to jerk the axe free as I turned towards the last man standing. He took one look at me in my mud and bloodstained white dress, put a hand to his bleeding chest, and ran out of the canyon.

The women of our clan were huddled together in stunned silence as I stood defiantly holding my axe and blade ready for any man to dare step foot near us. My blood screamed for vengeance against our enemies. It was perhaps thirty minutes later when father and a dozen of our clan came upon us.

Father’s hand gently touched mine and extracted the long axe from it. His other hand went to my knife. He handed the weapons to someone behind him before he pulled me into his arms.

Inga and Yrsa rushed up to us and hugged me tight as the other women told their fearful stories all at once. With the battle finished, I collapsed to my knees and took several deep breaths to calm myself. As father turned back towards the village, I stood once again. “I’d like to keep those.”

I held out my hand as father’s gaze appraised me. Reaching back, he grabbed the long axe and knife and placed them into my hands. “Well done, Svala.”

We were escorted back to the village and witnessed significant carnage along the way. We had lost nearly a dozen men, but the other clan faired much worse. Several of the attacking clan escaped, but now wasn’t the time for an avenging raid.

Instead of taking me home, father guided me to the High King. We both bowed.

Ragnar looked at me as if wondering why I was there, but he had more pressing matters to deal with. “How did we fair, Aesir Kar?”

“We lost twelve men, but the enemy faired far worse. Some of their fighters escaped.”

“What is Svala doing here?”

“Svala single-handedly and without weapons defeated three warriors in protection of our women. I would ask that you allow me to train and test her.”

“Our women don’t fight, Kar.”

“We have Berserkers who have yet to claim even two kills.”

“What of you, Svala?”

The conversation had caught me off guard, but having faced my enemy without weapons, I was in no way desiring to do that again. With an axe in my hand, at least I had a chance. “If I can be of service to this clan as a fighter, then I will fight.”

The High King looked dubiously at me and father. “If she passes the first tests, she can fight, however…” The High King turned back to me. “…you will continue to perform your regular chores. You’re no man and never will be.”

We were dismissed, and father led me home. “I should have asked you first, Svala.”

“We lost many men today and all of us women were threatened. I should do what I can for the good of the clan.”

Mother greeted us at the door and father went to organize the recovery efforts. Once inside, mother pulled me into a hug. “I heard what you did. Let me look at you.”

Her hands moved over my head, arms, and legs before brushing dirt away from my bloodied and swollen lip.

“I’m sorry about the dress.”

“A dress can be mended. I feared for your life.”

***

The next day everything was back to the usual routine except that my lip was very swollen. Inga and Yrsa found me in the garden and rushed to hug me.

“You were amazing, Svala! You saved our lives.”

Yrsa, who had normally seemed very distant, was suddenly friendly. “You’re the talk of the clan. You were so fast and strong. Certainly, you have been gifted of the gods.”

My finger went to feel my lip. “No, Yrsa. I’m no stronger than anyone else. I was fortunate how things worked out. Those men were twice my size.”

“Svala!”

I turned from the two women to find father beckoning me to him. “I’ll talk to you both later.”

Silently I followed father to the training area. He pointed to a sturdy young man. “Fight him.”

This was much like the training a Thrall would do. There were no weapons, just hand-to-hand combat. This was also a different situation. I didn’t have the anger and fear coursing through my veins, but this was no time to argue and it was a safe place for me to see if I could truly hold my own.

I squared off against the young man but as soon as I shifted my stance, I knew I was in trouble. My long, heavy dress encumbered my legs and feet. While I dodged well, it was only a matter of time before my opponent tackled me, tripping me up within my own dress.

Father looked disappointed as I approached him.

“I’d like to try again in a week.”

He shook his head. “This was a mistake.”

“Yesterday, I wore Tofa’s dress. It was shorter and offered me more maneuverability. Let me make something I can fight in.”

“Women don’t wear breeches.”

“Please. I promise to make you proud.”

“One week. If you fail then, we stop this.”

I turned to go when father held me back.

“I’m already proud of you, Svala.”

***

My week had been a busy one as all my free time was spent on designing a dress I could fight in. Mother helped with the dress and Inga and I worked together on boots and bracers. When it was all done, I looked quite the warrior.

Newly fashioned leather boots covered my lower legs all the way up to my knees. Leather gloves and forearm bracers offered good protection for my hands and arms. My dress was made from heavy red fabric and leather was bound to it across the bodice and back. It fell just below my knees and covered my shoulders. Throughout everything, we sewed in bone which would distribute the blows of any hit but would remain light.

Inga also braided my hair so that it would less likely be used as a weapon against me, nor would it get in my way. Even with all of this, I was frightened. Women didn’t fight, nor did they wear such clothing.

As I walked to the training area, I noticed the entire clan seemed to have come out. The last fight was spontaneous, this one was planned. Father looked me over with a slight smile on his lips and pointed to Bergfinn who awaited me as my opponent. Bergfinn was the same boy that bested me before and since that time, he had gained weight, had a birthday, and moved past Thrall, Herra, and to the Brang class. He was known for his fierceness in battle and his low center of gravity made his balance exceptional.

I moved opposite Bergfinn and he grinned at me. “You’re too pretty to be a fighter. Be my wife instead.”

I smiled and attempted to bait him into losing his temper. “I’ve seen hagfish better looking than you.”

That certainly made him angry and he rushed me. Once again, father had taught me well and this body responded to his training. I stepped lightly aside and slammed my forearm against his head. The leather and bone gloves worked exceptionally well as Bergfinn staggered before skidding to a stop.

He approached me more warily now as he shook his head to clear the blow. He was incredibly fast, and he reached out to grab my wrist. His grip was like a vise as he pulled me towards him; his knee coming up to catch me in the midsection. Lifting my leg, his knee hit hard against my bone and leather covered shins causing him much pain. As he hobbled back away on one leg, I pulled him back towards me as I swept his leg with mine. He fell backward but he kept his grip and pulled me down on top of him. Too bad for Bergfinn that I was prepared for that and my forearm smacked solidly into his nose. He was down and out.

“Enough of this! You make a mockery of us all.”

Hersir Olaf Steffensson, our clan general and ranked as our best fighter stepped forward. He tossed me a long axe while he drew his and pulled out his shield.

Father yelled. “Stop this! You cannot expect…”

High King Ragnar stepped into the area. “No, Kar. What were you thinking? Our women don’t fight. It will send a message that we are weak to the other clans if we must call upon our women to defend ourselves. Svala is a brave and honored member of our clan, but she is and always will be a woman and not a fighter. She can’t possibly survive.”

“Fight Olaf.”

Freyja’s voice was clear in my head.

“I can’t possibly beat him.” I whispered.

“I didn’t say you would beat him, but you must fight him. You must not give up. This is your time to honor your father and mother and make them proud of their daughter.”

Father looked defeated. He had believed in me. The entire clan started to turn away.

Stepping over Bergfinn, I raised my voice. “I’ll fight. I’m not as trained, or as strong, but I have the heart of a Viking! I’ll not cower when our enemies come to kill my clan brothers and sisters.”

I felt the surge in my veins and as High King Ragnar smirked and stepped away, the entire clan watched Olaf yell and rush me. Olaf was a massive man and highly skilled, but my size and speed allowed me to spin away from his rush and land a hit against his armored back as he went by.

This only enraged him further as he spun, rolled towards me, and slammed his shield into me. The force of the blow tossed me hard to the ground. He was on me in an instant and swinging his axe down towards me. I rolled away at the last second and used both hands on my axe, swinging it into Olaf’s ankle. I heard the crack as Olaf crashed to the ground and I scampered away.

Olaf was in obvious pain as he hobbled to his feet. I would have thought a blow like that would have caused him to slow down, but I was wrong. Very wrong. He laughed it off and rushed me like a bull. I barely got my axe up in time to block his mighty swing, but there was no way my block was strong enough to stop his full-force blow. Luckily, his axe twisted against mine and the flat of his blade hit me across my ribs. I was sent nearly twenty feet from the blow and landed face down in the dirt. I couldn’t breathe and laid there gasping like a fish out of water.

Olaf turned towards the crowd and raised his axe in victory.

“Get up, Svala.”

I growled at the voice in my head, but slowly staggered to my feet. I winced at the pain in my ribs and ground my teeth together. “I’m not done yet!”

Olaf turned and charged. He stopped short and swung a vicious blow towards my head. I ducked below it and thrust my axe upward into his chin. Olaf staggered backwards and as I pressed forward, his massive hand grabbed me around my throat. He easily lifted me off the ground, laughed, and tossed me to the side.

My ribs shot new pain through my body and I struggled to breathe.

Olaf stood over me. “Stay down, Svala.”

I pushed against the dirt and stood up on my weakened and shaking legs. “I’m a Viking woman! I’m not weak!”

His fist crashed into the side of my head and I sprawled once again on the ground.

“Get up, Svala.”

“I can’t.”

“Get up.”

Shaking my head, I thought back to all those times I had let my father down. Through my swollen eye I could see Olaf’s weakened ankle. I felt the fire in my blood and with a yell, I rose to my feet and tackled Olaf’s weakened leg. As I expected, it buckled, and Olaf fell hard to the ground. My victory was short-lived however as Olaf rolled back throwing me to the ground. His left hand grabbed my throat and his right held high his axe. It was as if everything were in slow motion as the axe descended, burying itself into the ground inches from my ear.

Olaf stood and lifted me to my feet. “Ragnar clan! This woman has more heart than any of our enemies. Let it be known that Hersir Olaf Steffensson calls Svala Freyjasdottir, Valkyrie! With our High King’s blessing, Svala will raid with us! When our enemies see their deaths at the hands of this woman, the Ragnar clan will be feared and respected!”

The entire clan was silent as the High King stepped before me. His hand reached for one of my mud encrusted braids as he stared thoughtfully into my eyes. “Kar! Get your daughter some mead. Today we celebrate history and on the new moon in six days, we avenge our lost clan members.”

The cheers filled the village. Olaf clapped his hand on my back which caused no small amount of pain. “Well fought, Svala.”

I watched him limp off the training area as father took me to the longhouse for some much-needed mead to dull the pain.

***

For three days I recuperated while doing all my chores. Keeping active helped as once I sat still for too long I began to stiffen up. I had asked father about the term, Valkyrie. He told me the legend of a woman fighter from another clan. Valkyrie was the equivalent to a Berserker in status. It was as high an honor, aside from High Queen that a woman had ever risen to. Father cautioned me to be careful as with rank came expectations. Ever since my fight with Olaf, men were even more desiring my hand in marriage. I begged for time.

After a hard day of chores, I had a little free time and I went to find Inga. Inga was my best friend and as I searched for her I became worried. When I found her all my fears were confirmed as she was barely conscious and bleeding down her exposed legs. Rushing to her side, I cradled Inga’s head in my lap.

“Who raped you, Inga?”

Inga shook her head as she wept into my dress.

“I’ll kill him. Just tell me who it was.”

“It was Erik.”

I felt my blood boil with anger and started to stand but Inga held me fast.

“No, Svala. Let it be. Fighting isn’t always the answer. Stay with me.”

Against my better judgement, I stayed and held Inga, using my apron to slowly clean her up. Eventually she fell asleep in my lap as I wept for my friend and the injustice of it all.

***

I searched for Erik for two days only to hear he had left to hunt game. I would have gone after him, but High King Ragnar called for his clan to prepare for battle. We were to attack the Orin clan that had raided us a few weeks earlier.

We loaded our fighters into four ships, each holding thirty warriors, and we sailed to the north of the Orin village. There where we waited until an hour before dusk before sailing into their bay. Hersir Olaf wanted to make a statement; that the Ragnar clan wasn’t afraid of a frontal assault.

I was the only woman on any of the ships. Even with Olaf’s ranking me, I could clearly see the skepticism on our warrior’s faces. I was afraid and nervous. Fighting a few men is one thing, but a major battle is another. Warriors could be killed by random acts in the heat of battle.

We paddled straight into the Orin clan’s bay while thumping the sides of the gunwales. Each thump was in time with my own heartbeat. Each echo of the sound caused my blood to course a little faster. I thought of Inga, the twelve clan members that had died at the Orin clan’s hands, and finally of Erik.

Father had recommended I hold back, but as the ships beached, I flung myself over the rail and into the fray. My braided hair flew back and forth as I spun, cut, and dodged my way through the Orin warriors. Battle lust had taken hold of me and I found myself alone as the Orin warriors slowly backed away from me. It was Erik’s face that drove me onward. I hated what he represented, and I was blinded by that as I looked upon these enemy warriors.

I had killed or disabled four of their warriors when I began hearing their shouts. “Ragnar has the Goddess Freyja fighting for them!” In my lust for revenge, their shouts fueled my fury until I came face-to-face with a young boy. He was no more than ten years of age. His eyes were filled with fear and my long axe hesitated. I looked around me recognizing the Orin clan was completely devastated. Death and destruction were all around me, much of it my own doing.

Women were shouting to my right and several of my clan were now involved in tearing at their clothes. I ran as fast as I could and put myself between my clan warriors and the women. “Hold!”

“This be no place for you, Svala!”

“You will not touch these women. We’re better than this.”

“Step aside, Svala.”

I was still holding my axe and knife and I held them up. “To get to these women, you have to go through me. These women are wives, mothers, and daughters. Would you wish what you’re planning to do to these women on your own?” That caused them to pause and I pressed my point. “Would you perform these same terrible acts on me?”

“You’re highly favored, Svala, but you ask too much. This is our life. This is what we do. As a woman you wouldn’t understand this. Step aside.”

“This is what you choose to do. It isn’t right. Seek your hearts and you will know. Is it not enough we have destroyed their community, orphaned their children, and taken their protection away from them?”

By now there was a larger group of my clan standing around us and listening to our altercation.

“They killed our men, Svala. They tried to rape our women.”

I reached out and pulled a quaking woman to my side and lifted her chin. “Look at this woman. Is she any different than our own flesh and blood? Is she any different than me? No… I will not allow this.”

Hersir Olaf Steffensson pushed his way through the crowd. He was our general and had ultimate authority.

“What goes on here?”

“Svala is keeping us from our spoils of war.”

“I’m keeping you from raping innocent women. If we’re to be great as a clan, then we must set ourselves above. We will never be great if we’re merely animals.”

Olaf pointed to the ships as he spoke to me. “You don’t speak for the clan, Svala.”

I was summarily dismissed, however, as I walked through the crowd there were men of my clan that tipped their heads to me in a sign of respect.

***

Two weeks later I was summoned before High King Ragnar. When I entered the long house father and Olaf were there. Bowing to the High King, I stood tall and proud amongst these great men, but internally I was shaking. A woman doesn’t confront a man in this society and clearly, this is what I would be charged with.

Ragnar stepped forward and held my chin in his large hand. He moved my head from side to side as he looked upon me. “Rumors are spreading of a golden-haired woman in our clan. The claim is that Freyja herself fights for us, but not just for the Ragnar clan, for all women. Our own women look to you as an example and some have even asked to learn to fight like you. You fought as well as my most trained fighters and yet you defy me and challenge my place to lead. You confronted my men. You! A woman! You dare tell us we could be great?”

I dropped my head. “Forgive me, High King.”

“What makes you believe we could be greater than the other clans?”

“It is not my place to say, High King.”

He laughed. “Now you wish to be submissive? I asked you a question and you will answer it.”

“If we set ourselves apart, High King… If we act mercifully and out of honor… I believe other clans will come to us. Women will seek us. Men will wish to join us. For no one wants to fear their homes, families, and livelihood will be taken from them. A clan is strong, but a clan that is just will become even stronger.”

“You once told me a story that you were cast ashore here by the Goddess Freyja herself. Could it be that you are truly Freyja and you came here to bless my rule?”

“I bleed, High King. I still feel my ribs from Hersir Olaf’s axe. If I be a Goddess, I be a very poor one.”

“Then where did you get your wisdom? There are men coming to me, women wishing to join the clan where Freyja protects them, and I’ve even had another clan’s High King lay down his axe at my feet in fealty to me. Me, the High King that controls a Goddess.”

“Perhaps I have eaten too many salmon as the legendary Fionn, High King. For I know not where, if any wisdom I have was found.”

“I cannot have you challenging my men and making an example for women to follow and yet punishing you would do more harm than good. Tame your tongue, daughter of Kar, and you might just find yourself in the highest place of honor a woman can achieve. Now get back to your chores, Svala.”

I bowed and breathed a sigh of relief as I stepped from the long house. Father was quick to follow and pulled me aside. In silence he guided me down to the water’s edge.

“When you first arrived at the clan and I was given your charge, I was upset. Our High King had said something that hurt me deeply regarding my son, Lief. That you would be of greater value than Lief ever could have been. I see now that he was correct.”

“Please don’t speak that way of Lief.”

“No, it’s true. You have brought more honor to my household than Lief ever could.”

His statement made me cry and I contemplated telling him the truth, but it would do nothing other than cause him more grief. For a man to become a woman would be the worst curse a man could fathom. I no longer believed this to be true, but any man certainly would.

“What did the High King mean by finding myself in the highest place of honor a woman could achieve?”

“This is troubling, Svala. He could be saying that he is considering you for his wife which would make you High Queen.”

“What of the existing High Queen?”

Father shook his head. “Let’s not worry about such things.”

***

Thankfully the days and weeks past with little more thought to my discussion with the High King. Rumors of me continued to spread throughout the region, for a fighting woman wasn’t normal. Our clan was experiencing a quiet and peaceful summer. This allowed us to spend more time gardening, hunting, and fishing. Our food stocks had grown and would easily take us through the harshest of winters.

Father told me the other clans feared our growing numbers, but they feared more that the Goddess Freyja was walking amongst us and protecting our clan. Yet, for all the peace we were experiencing, father felt we were becoming a target; for what clan wouldn’t wish to capture Freyja? Which clan wouldn’t wish to take our food stocks? Which man wouldn’t wish to take a Goddess as his wife?

I pulled my cloak tighter about me as a cool, heavy, rain fell. The rain wouldn’t stop me from performing my chores and today I was in one of our furthest gardens. The sound of the rain was helpful in drowning out my own thoughts. Lately, I believed Freyja had given me a blessing by making me female. I had been dreaming of truly becoming a woman where I would be laying with a man and these thoughts and dreams disturbed me. Shouldn’t I be angry?

I hadn’t heard the patter of light feet behind me and was shocked when someone grabbed my hand. I looked up to see inga. It was clear she was troubled, and she yanked on my arm hard enough to cause my cloak hood to fall from my head.

“Come out of the rain, Svala.”

Inga pulled me to a small rock building. She was shaking. Her hand came to my face as she pressed my back against the wall. Her fingers shook as they moved through my wet hair. She leaned forward and pressed her lips against mine before turning away in tears.

“Inga? What have you done? This is forbidden.” I was startled and confused.

“I wish I was a man and that you would be my wife, Svala. I would treat you well for I love you.”

“Inga, you mustn’t speak this way.”

“I’m with child, Svala. Erik is claiming me. He claims our child. I can’t let that happen…”

Inga looked at me with such longing. I had no idea she felt this way about me.

“Remember me, Svala…”

Inga ran from the building before I could stop her. I raced after her, pausing briefly to glimpse Erik standing a short distance away. By the time I turned back to inga, it was too late. She had leapt off a cliff. I screamed in pain and loss of my best friend as I looked down upon her mangled body. Slowly I turned to see Erik standing near me. I pulled my long axe and yelled. “You raped her and now you killed her!”

Erik turned and ran back towards the village. I debated chasing after him, but I couldn’t leave Inga down there. I carefully made my way down the cliff face to the waters’ edge where I sat and cradled Inga’s lifeless form in my arms. I sat there in the pouring rain and cried until others came and tried to take her from my arms.

“Don’t touch her!”

Gently, I lifted her into my arms and I carried her back to the village. There I quietly built a pyre and set Inga upon it. I placed flowers around her before setting it ablaze. My tears never stopped until the pyre’s last flame went out.

It was only then that I turned my dark and angry gaze upon the long house. I marched straight in through throngs of men in heated discussion. Stepping up to the High King, I bowed and didn’t wait to make my accusation. “Erik Eldersson raped Inga. I demand justice be done.”

The High King looked at me. “Then we will have a trial tomorrow to see which of you is guilty.”

“Me? Guilty of what?”

“Erik claims he saw you push Inga from the cliff.”

I reached for my axe as many hands struggled to hold me back. I saw Erik in the room and I strained to get close to him. “Liar! You know this isn’t true!”

Erik sneered. “Perhaps we can come to an arrangement…”

“I’ll leave your rotting corpse…!”

Father grabbed me and took me from the long house and back to our home before he or I spoke again.

“This is serious, Svala.”

“I consoled Inga after Erik raped her! Inga told me she was with child and Erik was claiming her for his own. That’s why she jumped from the cliff!”

“Erik says you pushed Inga. He told me he would retract his claim if you wed him.”

“I’ll kill him before he touches me or any other woman.”

Mother looked extremely worried. “Svala, you know what the trial entails?”

I nodded slowly.

“If you fail the trial, they will deem you guilty and put you to death.”

“I’d rather fail and die honorably than be touched by that foul man.”

***

Sleep eluded me as I kept seeing Inga’s lifeless body before me. I cried out to Freyja for justice, but the Goddess was silent. Not once did I consider Erik’s offer and at the light of dawn, I dressed in my battle clothes and walked boldly to the long house. Everyone was there waiting.

There was no pomp or ceremony as High King Ragnar spoke.

“I was recently reminded that what makes us great is that we are a clan of justice.”

I grit my teeth at the lack of justice.

“Today, we stand witness to two members of our clan accused of heinous crimes. Svala Freyjasdottir is accused of pushing Inga Bjornsdottir to her death. Erik Eldersson is accused of raping Inga Bjornsdottir. Since no witnesses can corroborate their claims, we must move on to our traditional methods of assessing guilt or innocence; that is unless either one of the accused wishes to confess their crime.”

The room was deathly silent.

“Then we begin with Svala Freyjasdottir.”

I was led to the side of the long house where the method of determining a woman’s guilt or innocence awaited me. I looked to my right at a pot of rapidly boiling water. I was to reach in and take out a stone then carry it across the long house before placing it into a basket. If I dropped the stone or failed to heal in the weeks afterwards, I would be found guilty.

“Choose the man’s trial, Svala.”

I winced as I looked down to my left to see a red-hot rod of iron sitting on a bed of coals. The trial was the same for a man, except that the rod was far hotter than the water or the stone. Even Erik looked worried.

“High King?”

“You wish to confess your crimes, Svala?”

“I have nothing to confess. I’m innocent and to prove without a doubt, I will choose the man’s trial.”

A look of concern rose on Ragnar’s face as a collective gasp ran through the crowd.

“The purpose of the trial is not to permanently maim the accused. A man’s hand is larger and thicker, making the iron rod equitable to the burning and pain the boiling water and stone would be to a smaller woman’s hand.”

“I still choose the man’s trial, High King. I don’t wish to be judged differently than Erik.”

The High King shook his head and waved his hand as acquiescence to my request.

I pulled my glove from my left hand as I looked at the far end of the long house where a bucket of water waited. I stared Erik in the eyes, lifted my chin, and reached down for the iron rod. Instantly my skin burned and sizzled, but I wouldn’t cry out even though the pain was beyond anything I had ever experienced before in my life. I stared at Erik as I walked; anger at what he had done fueled my strength of resolve. Smoke drifted up from my hand and filled my nostrils with the scent of burning flesh.

Slowly I walked across the long house and placed the now darkening iron rod into the water. Immediately there were cries of relief from the crowd and someone wrapped bandages around my hand. Inside, I was screaming in pain and I fought with every fiber of my being to remain standing.

“Let it be known that Svala Freyjasdottir is tentatively found innocent. If her hand fails to heal she may yet be found guilty. I now call up Erik Eldersson. You are accused of raping one of our own clan. Perform your trial.”

Sweat broke out on Erik’s forehead as he looked down upon the red-hot iron bar. His eyes spoke of fear. He reached for the rod and his scream of pain tore through the great long house. I cringed knowing what that pain felt like. Erik made three hasty steps before he dropped the iron rod and ran to put his hand in the bucket of cold water, however, as he neared it, another man ‘accidently’ kicked the bucket over.

Erik held his hand high, the burns clearly visible as he screamed in pain.

“Erik Eldersson is found guilty.”

It was hideous and gruesome to watch as his sentence was instantly administered by six Viking men as they hacked at Erik with their long axes. There was no satisfaction in seeing him die.

“We will reconvene in one week to check on Svala’s burns. If her hand is not healing, she will be found guilty.”

People began filing out of the long house and I rushed to a location of privacy near the water. I had nearly passed out several times as the pain was unbearable. Sitting on the rocks, I carefully unwrapped the bandage around my shaking hand. When the last layer was removed, and I looked upon my hand, I retched. I could see charred bones and ligaments. It was so burned that it would never heal. Everything had been for nothing.

It was at that moment that a large salmon washed up onto the shore at my feet.

“You must listen to me very carefully, Svala. Remove the skin from the salmon. Place the fatty side of the skin onto your hand and wrap it around. Bind that with your bandages. Do not look at your hand until you go before the High King once again.”

The pain was beyond anything I had ever felt before, and I was angry. “Why have me do any of this? I have done everything you asked. My friend is dead. The clans aren’t united. My hand is ruined.”

“Your destiny is set, Svala. Trust me one more time.”

“Nothing I do makes a difference, Freyja. Salmon skin won’t heal my hand.”

“Perhaps you would like to know what would have happened had you never found my ring. Lief would have been killed in battle before the next moon. Inga would have been killed after being raped repeatedly by the Orin clan warriors. Yrsa, would have been raped by the Orin clan and been so injured that she would have lost her leg. Erik would have continued to live and rape members of your own clan. Without your help around the house, your mother would have lost her child. You think you have made no difference, but you have. The salmon at your feet is no ordinary salmon, Svala. It’s my salmon and its skin has healing properties.”

I kicked lightly at the salmon at my feet. “I’ll do as you say.”

***

The day had arrived for the High King to examine my hand. For the first few days, I couldn’t sleep because the pain was so great but gradually the pain began to subside, and the pain was replaced with tingling. Surprisingly, I could move my fingers within the bandage, but I was still fearful of what my hand would look like.

As before, the long house was filled with the clan members. I was called to stand before the High King.

“Svala, if you are found guilty your punishment will be handed out immediately. Unwrap the bandages and let us see your hand.”

Slowly, layer by layer, I unwrapped the bandages. My fingers first appeared, and they looked pink and healthy. As the final layers were unwrapped, there was no sign of the salmon skin. My hand had healed with barely a scar. I flexed my fingers and made a fist and then opened them again. I was as amazed as those in the room.

The High King sat down heavily and shook his head in disbelief. “Had I not seen with my own eyes you walk across this house with a red-hot iron rod in your hand… How? How is your hand completely healed?”

“The Goddess Freyja sent a salmon to me, High King. Freyja told me to wrap my hand in the skin of that salmon. I thought it foolishness but did her bidding.”

“We have a member of our clan that convenes with gods. Who am I to argue with their judgement. I declare Svala Freyjasdottir innocent.”

That evening, I sat on top of the rocky cliff where Inga had jumped. In the dying orange light of the sun, I looked at my healed hand and marveled at my place in the world. Mother came out and sat down next to me.

“You’re lost in thought, Svala.”

“I keep asking myself, why. Why did the sweetest and kindest of people have to die? Why did I find Freyja’s ring? Why must I go through these trials?”

“Perhaps you should replace your whys with whats.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Yes, Inga died. What are you going to do about it? Yes, you found the ring, but what difference will that make in your life? Yes, you have gone through terrible trials, but what have they taught you? I see greatness in you, Svala. Courage. You have strength of resolve, a gentle heart, yet can be as fierce as any Viking that ever lived. You’re admired and respected. What’s pressing on your heart these days?”

“I don’t understand it all. We kill our neighboring clans. We could be a great nation if we only came together as one.”

“It’s all about power, Svala. Every man believes he should rule. Power brings freedom. When was the last time you saw our High King fight?”

“I’ve never seen him fight.”

“And yet he rules us. That’s power when a man can send others to do his bidding; to die for his causes.”

“There is so much death and destruction.”

“Do what is in your heart, Svala.” Mother hugged me and stood up. “Come. Sit with us and eat. Your destiny will take you away one day. I fear that our time with you is short and every moment is precious.”

I stood and carefully placed the handful of flowers I had collected at the top of the cliff. Wiping a tear, I turned towards mother and the village.

***

My hand had fully healed and for weeks I continued to perform my chores and train as I could with father. Father taught me how to fight against larger foes and how to use their size against them. I was getting better and stronger each day and had switched to dual long axes as my preferred fighting style.

One evening as we were training with the other men, there was a large commotion as a scout rushed through us and straight into the long house. Moments later the High King and Hersir Olaf came out with grave faces.

“We have word that the Calder clan is coming. They are no more than two days away and have close to two hundred men with them. It’s time the Ragnar clan defeat our long-founded enemy. Collect everything you need, we march at first light for the Harek Meadows. Svala, Kar. Come with me.”

I was confused as I had never been a part of war planning before, but I did as I was bid and followed father into the long house.

Olaf used his axe to draw a map on the dirt floor. “The Calder clan is coming south, and we will meet them here at Harek Meadows. The meadows are flanked by mountains on the west and east, but there is a valley that cuts through the eastern mountains. Kar, you and I will lead our best fighters straight into the Calder clan. Svala, you will lead our Thegn, Brang, Herra, and Thrall ranks east and wait with them until you see us fully engaged with the enemy. You will then rush out of the eastern valley and clash with the Calder forces on their flank.”

“Will the men follow me?”

“This is a battle and you have the rank of Valkyrie. They will follow the Goddess’ chosen one.”

No time in Viking history had a woman led a group or men into battle. I merely nodded and stepped back outside. Olaf gathered all the fighters together. We were close to two hundred and an even match for the Calder clan. Olaf separated out my fighters and gave them orders.

“You will be following the lead of Svala from here on out.”

There were grumblings in the group and several were very vocal about not wishing to follow a woman. Many of the sixty men seemed to have no problems following me but one huge man stepped forward. I recognized him as Tar, a Thegn in rank.

“I will not be led by any woman. I’m a Viking man! I’m…”

I had to settle this quickly to gain control. Stepping forward, I made a fist, and slugged the man with every ounce of strength I had. He dropped heavily to the ground and spit out a tooth.

“If you have a problem following me, then you should stay here with the women.”

The grumbling stopped at that moment and I offered my hand to Tar. He took my hand and stood. For him, at least for now, the issue was resolved. I gathered the men around me as I explained our roll.

***

I could hear the clans beating their axes against their shields as they lined up across the meadow from one another. My heart was pounding as my men waited just out of eyesight. Taking Tar with me, we climbed a knoll to get a glimpse of our enemy. They were a formidable foe that controlled the northern realms. Several men stepped forward and shouted to our clan.

“You are weak, Ragnar clan! Where is your Goddess that fights for you? Has she tired of your stench?”

Tar growled and started to get up. I pulled him back down. “Save it. They don’t know we’re here. Look. Below us and slightly behind the Calder clan is a group of twenty archers. They’re out of sight by our main force. We were told to wait until the battle begins, but we can’t. We must take out those archers lest they devastate our front line. Go! Get the others and follow me over this ridge and down upon our enemy.”

There was still shouting, and I could hear Tar and the others shuffling up the hillside behind me, but the archers were readying their arrows and there was no time to waste. I stood and ran full speed, pulling out my axes. Well behind me was my group. I spotted the lead archer and slammed right into him throwing the entire archery team into disarray. Today, I felt untouchable as the archers fell left and right to my axes. Their weapons weren’t useful in such close quarters. With a shout and a roar, my team smashed into them.

I could hear the Ragnar clan make their charge as soon as they saw we were engaged in battle. The Calder clan had lost their advantage, but they lost none of their savagery and once they realized they were pinned between our best fighters and my team, they fought like cornered animals.

I had taken several heavy blows by the time my team and our other fighters joined ranks, but my battle lust had fueled me onwards. As the clans’ numbers dwindled, fights broke out in pairs and I found myself face-to-face with a tall, strong Viking with piercing blue eyes that were partially hidden behind an iron helm.

He was fast and cunning, and I had to use every trick and lesson I learned through the years to keep from being killed. By now my braids had come undone and my golden hair fanned out across my back, clumped together by mud and blood. We fought for nearly an hour, neither doing much damage or gaining the advantage.

As we fought, I realized I didn’t wish to kill this man. There was something about his eyes that spoke of kindness and goodness. But this was a fight I couldn’t walk away from without expecting my own death and so we fought on.

We had pushed each other back and forth, but then came my mistake. A wounded man from the Calder clan stirred and thrust his blade into my thigh. I staggered and fell backwards, crossing my axes infront of me to block my opponent’s descending axe. The force of his blow shook my very bones, but my block held and with a swift move I drew my axes away from me using my axe heads to cut through the wooden handle of his axe. His weapon snapped, and I rolled away just in time and pulled myself to my feet. We stood mere feet from each other. My thigh was bleeding heavily, and he only had his knife against my two axes. I could kill him now, but I hesitated as I looked around me. Dozens of men lay around me either dead or dying.

Suddenly, Hersir Olaf crashed into my opponent from the side. He had used his shield as a battering ram and the heavy blow threw my opponent to the ground. Olaf raised his axe above his head to kill the man.

I dove, rolled, and brought up my axes to stop Olaf’s axe from cleaving through the man’s helm.

Olaff roared at me and I yelled back. “Enough! This man is a valiant fighter as are all the men here. Leave them to collect their wounded as we should collect ours.”

Olaff growled and pulled back. “I give you this boon just this once, Svala. Without your bravery and taking out those archers, we would have been finished.” With a shout, Olaff called a retreat.

I glanced down at the man who laid at my feet. His blue eyes were sharp and focused, and they bored into mine. I turned away and helped several of our men south and away to our camp.

***

The toll of life was immense. It was estimated we lost twenty men and over one hundred more were wounded. There were even more dead and injured on the Calder side.

Father came to me as I was binding my wounds.

“You fought well today, Svala. Never have I seen anyone so fast or able to withstand pain like you. You inspired your men and your decisiveness saved our clan today.”

“You give me too much credit.”

“You use your strength wisely. You have true Viking blood in your veins. I fear when word reaches our High King, he will ask me for your hand in marriage.”

“He can ask all he wants. My answer will remain a no. He has a wife and Freyja has not told me who I should marry yet.”

“I may not be able to deny the High King.”

“I believe you told me once to not worry about what hasn’t happened yet.”

Father smiled. “Your men would like to share some mead with you.”

“Let them have their mead. I seek solace for the lives I took today.”

I stood and did my best to not limp as I walked away from the camp. When I was clear of the raucous voices, I sat down on a log and stared up at the moon as the clouds drifted past it. Ever since I became a woman, my tears tended to flow easier, and as I considered each man I killed today, my heart grew heavier and heavier. I took several deep breaths to calm myself when a hand covered my mouth and I was set upon by men on all sides of me. I fought like I had never fought before, but soon my hands and legs were bound and a rag was stuffed into my mouth. Still I struggled until I realized I was wasting my energy.

I was carried north and, in the moments when the moon broke free of the clouds, I could see the colors of the Calder clan on my captures’ clothing. We paused briefly for the men to drink and eat something.

“Look at her. We should take her now as a spoil of war.”

“I’ve never had a Goddess before. We could sell her.”

I struggled against my bindings as a third man reached for me, but it was struck hard from the final member of their band. “You heard Hersir Brand’s orders. If she is touched he’ll put our heads on a pike.”

One laughed. “It might still be worth it.”

The conversation had frightened me and made me realize I was in a dire predicament. Gratefully, the men got themselves organized and I was thrown back up on one of their shoulders. We travelled through the night and continued steadily through the day until we approached a shoreline. There I was transferred to a ship and we sailed north across the cool, windswept waters.

When we landed, I made note of various landmarks. Here there were trees and buildings were made primarily of wood with stone foundations. A massive long house was connected to a much larger building that had a stone tower. It was clear to me that this was a place of abundance. The people were clean, and the village organized. I noted many men were bandaged and pyres still burned at the edge of the settlement.

I was taken into the long house and summarily tossed onto the hard, wooden floor. I could see High King Calder sitting on his chair and several men came forward. One looked like the man I had fought.

“Did you encounter any problems, Gealith?”

“She was easy to find, and she was alone. She fought hard, Hersir Brand.”

“I would have expected no less. You’ve done well. Release her from her bindings.”

“Is that wise if she is indeed the Goddess Freyja?”

“I’ll not ask twice.”

I felt the dirty rough cloth pulled from my mouth and my hands and legs cut free. I stood gingerly to my feet as over the past few days my thigh wound had festered.

The High King leaned forward. “I would have never believed it had you not told me yourself, son. How many?”

“She alone killed at least five of our men and wounded many more.”

“She will make a fine addition to our clan. Even covered in blood and dirt, she is spectacular. Have you chosen her husband yet?”

My eyes narrowed. “I’m not a sheep or cow to be given and I pity the man that tries to take me.”

The High King laughed. “I rather like her. Get her cleaned up. I’m certain she is hungry and thirsty.”

The man named Brand came near me and whispered into my ear. “Don’t fight. You will be treated justly.”

I lifted my chin as I followed Brand out and into the large building behind the long house. When we were in a private room, he paused and turned to me.

“I think introductions are in order. I’m Brand Caldersson. If I’m not mistaken, you’re called Svala?”

“Why did you send your men to bring me here? Are you cowards that you must kidnap people at night?” My sharp words and tone were more for my own sake. I was weak and frightened.

Brand pulled off his helm and set it aside. His hair was dark brown, and it spilled out in waves over his broad shoulders. His eyes were penetrating and intelligent. Under other circumstances, I could find him handsome.

He smiled as he sat in a chair and watched me. “One doesn’t capture a Goddess without taking reasonable precautions. I asked you your name.”

“I spared your life!”

“Which is why you’re here. That and my father wanted to know if Freyja’s blessings follow you. You’re the reason we attacked. We’ve heard legends of the Goddess Freyja walking the earth and doing battle for the Ragnar clan.”

“All those men died because you wanted to capture me?”

“I admit I was curious, but I was just fulfilling the desire of my father. I would have chosen a different path as I highly doubted you were a Goddess, but I couldn’t have been more wrong. You’re the most beautiful and formidable woman I’ve ever encountered. You were going to tell me your name.”

He leaned back onto the two legs of his chair and put his feet up onto a table. Using my good leg, I kicked the chair leg and watched him land flat on his back.

He laughed hard. “Promise me you won’t try to run away, and I will allow our women to take care of your wound and get you cleaned up.”

“Why would I ever promise that?”

“Because the alternative is for me to call for our remaining men to watch me bathe you.”

I was seething mad when I heard a voice in my head.

“He will be your husband.”

“Over my dead body.” The timing of my rebuttal to Freyja couldn’t have been more ill-timed.

“Fine. Have it your way.” Brand grabbed me around my waist and lifted me up onto his shoulder. He started to shout to his men when I stopped him.

“Put me down... I won’t run away. At least not right away. I’ve been without ale or food for more than a day and I need to clean my wound.”

He set me down gently and stared into my eyes. “You’re heavier than you look.”

I felt my blood boiling in my veins. “You must just be weak.”

He smiled again. “You’re not like most women.”

“Most women aren’t starved, dying of thirst, been trussed up like a wild boar, and stabbed.”

“I’ll personally get you ale if you give me your name.”

“Will you bring it to me on your knees?” He stood blocking the doorway with his arms crossed. “Svala Freyjasdottir.”

He stepped out into the building and I followed. Many thoughts went through my head like grabbing a chair and hitting him, but I needed to preserve my strength for when I would need it the most.

Brand stopped and poured me a glass of ale. I drank it slowly all the while watching him like a hawk.

“Aslief.”

A young woman came over to us. “Yes, Hersir Brand?”

“Take Svala to the bathing pool. Give her time to clean herself thoroughly, bring her fresh bandages, have her clothes cleaned, and I will send down something for her to wear. Also, don’t leave her alone.”

She smiled at him and led me to another room where a fresh water spring fed a pool of water. There were few times I’ve had any personal privacy, but women bathed around other women all the time and I had become used to my new body. I stripped out of my battle clothes and gratefully stepped into the cool refreshing water.

“I’ve heard of you. I see your wound on your thigh. I didn’t think a Goddess would bleed.”

“The rumors of me are vastly exaggerated.”

“I’ve heard stories how you killed six berserkers to protect your clan’s women from being raped. You were unarmed. I recently heard that you miraculously healed yourself.”

I sighed. “There were only three men and I was only unarmed for the first of them. I was lucky that I surprised them and two were killed. The real Goddess Freyja healed my hand. As you can clearly see, I’m no Goddess.”

“If you’re not a Goddess, then the rest of us single women will have no chance with Brand as long as you’re around; for he can’t marry a Goddess, but he can marry you.”

“I don’t plan on staying long nor would I even consider such a man for my husband.”

“The women will be pleased to hear that as Brand is the most handsome and courageous man of the clan. He’s also kind and gentle to the women which is more than I can say about any of the others.”

I was ready to put my clothes back on, but they were now missing. “What have you done to my clothes?”

“They’re being cleaned. Brand has sent you these to wear.”

Aslief handed me a cloth to dry myself with and provided me fresh bandages for my thigh. I pulled on the underdress and was shocked to feel the sleekest and finest cloth I had ever felt for the overdress. Mother’s white dress had been beautiful, but this one was exquisite.

“Let me help you with your hair.”

***

Aslief had led me to a room in the tower. A window allowed me to look out over the village. Is this my prison then?

The door opened, and I turned to see Brand come in.

“Last year we sent a raiding party far south and I found that dress. I never thought I would ever find a woman that would do it justice. Now I see the dress, as wondrous as it is, pales in comparison to the person that is now wearing it.”

His eloquence was disarming but I was by no means swayed. “Is this where you throw me down and rape me or toss me to your men for my part of the harm I did to your clan?”

“Why did you spare my life?”

“We think we’re highly evolved in this modern society we now live in, yet we have no mercy. I fight to protect my clan from the barbarous, viscous acts that would otherwise be done to them.”

“Had we been victorious, do you think we would have stopped ourselves from doing that which you suggest?”

“I can only surmise that had you been victorious, my corpse would be rotting in the meadows and our womenfolk of our clan been raped, beaten, and taken.”

“And yet, you still spared my life.”

“I tire of this useless banter. If you think I will be your slave here or yield my body to any man without a fight, you’re sorely mistaken.”

“No harm will come to you and any man that lays their hand on you must answer to me. In two days hence, I will take you home if that is your wish.”

My eyes narrowed as I looked at him. “You refuse your father’s bidding? For I distinctly recall his words to find a man to marry me off to.”

Brand smiled. “There is a way to satisfy his demands and meet my own promise to you.”

A knock sounded, and food was brought and set before us both.

“Sit. Eat.”

The smells of fresh-cooked fish and meat, cabbage and beets, drew me to the table but my eyes never once left Brand. I ate slowly as I contemplated this new situation I found myself in. Finally, I gave in.

“Your clan had been defeated and you’re a valiant and excellent fighter. We decimate ourselves in a pitiful attempt to rule our own small villages. You may be of another clan, but you still have Viking blood. I fear as we squabble over lands, women, and fish, other nations build their armies and wait for us to become weak. Why do we rape and plunder and kill each other when as a united Viking people we could protect our way of life and prosper?”

“We have always fought each other, and our High Kings will never yield to one another.”

“Then we’re doomed. We might as well slit our own throats in mass suicide for every battle we fight weakens us all. Not even the wild animals hunt their own species.”

Brand stood. “This space is yours for your stay. Rest now and tomorrow I must take you to see my father.”

I watched him leave and for a moment I was somewhat saddened to see him go. I had never spoken so comfortably with any man before. The door and escape beckoned me, but I yielded to the throb of my thigh and the call of the nearby bed. I ate a little more before lying down and falling asleep.

***

I was awake with the first rays of light and considered leaving, but I was without weapons and surrounded by an enemy clan that had not faired well in the last battle, partly because of me. My thigh felt much better and I sat in the window ledge and stared out into the village when Brand came into my room.

“I’m a little surprised to see you still here, Svala.”

“You expected me to hobble out with no armor, wearing a dress I can’t fight in, with no weapons, and steal a boat all the while surrounded by more than one hundred able-bodied men?”

“I had hoped you weren’t that foolish. There are several men that are eager to seek their revenge on you for their wounds.”

“Give me my axes and my armor and I will be happy to oblige them.”

“There is no need for that. Come. Walk with me.”

I was led through the building and outside. I admired the location of the village and how well it was organized. Extra thought had been put into the design as instead of a haphazard and random placement of buildings, there was a semblance of continuity.

“How is it that your clan has built such a village?”

“We are the largest clan in the north and there are numerous smaller clans around us. They don’t dare attack us, they fight amongst themselves. This gives us more freedom to farm and build.”

“Even the streets are stone.”

“We’re Vikings. We still love our mud, but the stones make it easier to transport things and helps keep the buildings cleaner.”

A large man yelled and hobbled over to us. He pulled his long axe from his side. His intent was clear.

“Stand aside, Hersir Brand. She is an enemy and I demand the satisfaction of seeing her gutted.”

“She spared my life as I do believe she spared yours, Balder. Had she intended you dead, you would not be here today.”

“No, Brand. He is right. He isn’t of my clan and I was among those that fought.” I stepped away from Brand and within easy reach of Balder’s weapon. “I was a fool to believe I would escape my rightful punishment.”

Balder’s axe moved swiftly, but Brand’s move faster yet. The axes collided above my head and Brand had Balder disarmed in seconds. Brand pushed his way between us and confronted Balder.

“You would kill an unarmed woman? A guest of our High King and myself?”

Balder swallowed hard and shook his head.

“Then be off with you before I use you as an example for any others that might think the same way you do.”

Balder hobbled away and even left his axe on the ground. I was tempted to pick it up.

“Why did you do that, Svala?”

“You find that you have no regrets over your actions? You don’t see the faces of those you’ve killed each night? I don’t deserve your protection.”

“It was us that attacked the Ragnar clan and we were defeated. Even now, our women could have been in your clan’s hands. Our wives and daughters would have suffered because of our foolishness. Yes, I see the faces of those men I’ve killed, but no more so than the faces of those I’ve led to their deaths.”

“I be no guest. Guests aren’t kidnapped.”

“Would you have come willingly?”

“Knowing what our culture does to women of different clans? No.”

Brand was about to respond when a dozen young children ran out to me. Some were no more than three years’ old. They hugged my legs. “Goddess Freyja? Will you bless us?”

I was a little taken off guard and I squatted down, knowing full well Brand’s eyes followed my every movement closely. One little girl threw her arms around my neck and I picked her up. I had never held another child and her blonde hair, blue eyes, and smile broke something within me.

“I’m no Goddess that is capable of giving you a blessing.”

The children frowned but refused to go away even with Brand’s urging.

“If I tell you a tale, will you go back to your chores?”

They all nodded and pulled me over to a wooden bench where I sat down, and they snuggled all around me. My emotions were all over the place as I had never experienced such a desire to have children of my own. I glanced at Brand who stood close by with a smile on his lips.

“There once was a young girl that loved the sea and every day she would take her boat and fish. The men all laughed at her, saying that fishing was a man’s job, but she ignored them and fished anyways. They would hurl insults at her and occasionally beat her for her disgrace. They would also never acknowledge that the young girl caught more fish than anyone else. One day a terrible storm hit their island. The storm lasted for two weeks and it was the fiercest storm the clan had ever seen. So fierce and so strong, the clan had to stay huddled indoors and their food ran out. Fearing that her clan would all perish, the young girl braved the storm and took her small boat out to sea.”

“What happened to her and the clan?”

“When the storm finally ended, the clan came out of their homes to find their ships and boats destroyed. Their crops were devastated, and their animals had run off. They feared the worst, that they were all going to die. Then, a man spotted something on the water. It was a small boat that seemed heavily burdened. As it approached, they found the young girl guiding the boat to shore. The boat was filled to the gunwales with fish and the clan was saved.”

“What became of the young girl?”

“The entire clan honored her, but she chastised them. Before their eyes, she transformed into a beautiful young woman. She told them she had come to their village to see if they were thankful for everyone and what each person contributed to the clan. She cursed them by saying that by the time the fish she caught were gone if the clan had not changed their ways, that they would all perish. She turned and dove into the sea never to be seen again.”

“Did the clan change?”

I smiled and stroked the little blonde girl’s hair. “They must have, for otherwise, I would have never heard this tale to tell it to you. Now, off with you all before you get in trouble for avoiding your chores.”

They scampered away, and I stood.

“You made that story up.”

“It was either that or a story about a Hersir that kidnapped a fake Goddess.”

“I’d like to hear how that story ends.”

“Hopefully without the fake Goddess being burned on a pyre, raped, maimed, killed and left to rot, or smote from the real Goddess getting offended because children asked for a blessing from an imposter.”

“I’m not sure I can protect you from the real Goddess, but if I were her, I think I would be rather proud of how well you represent her.”

Brand led me back to the long house and fear rose up in me once again. I felt relatively safe around Brand, but this was someone that had ultimate authority on what would happen to me. This time I bowed before the High King.

The High King stood and circled me, and I cringed when he reached out and touched my hair.

“She cleaned up nicely. Have you determined who will take her yet?”

“Yes, father.”

“Why isn’t she with him now?”

“There are complications.”

“How difficult can this be? Hand her over to him and she will either yield or be punished.”

“We’re weakened after our battle and we must be diligent in case the Ragnar clan comes for her.”

“No clan has ever attacked us because of a single female.”

“Svala is not just any female, father.”

“My son. A Viking. A Hersir. You’re afraid of the Ragnar clan?”

“It was only Svala’s intervention that granted us the freedom to retreat without being slaughtered on the battlefield. I’m not afraid, father, but I think it is in our best interest to return Svala and seek an alliance with the Ragnar clan.”

“I think that Svala has mesmerized you or perhaps used some witchcraft. No. We will not yield to our enemies. She belongs to us now. You said you found her a man to marry. Make that happen.”

Several times I was about to speak my mind, but Freyja gently nudged me to remain silent. I was furious as Brand led me from the long house and back to my room, now definitely a prison.

When we were finally alone together I unleashed my anger on him. “That was your plan all along! You kidnap me to either use me as a bargaining ploy or to make me a submissive wife to one of your men. I should have never spared your life or stopped my clan from killing the rest of you!”

Brand was silent and his thoughtful pacing annoyed me even further.

“Tonight, I will take you to your new husband. Rest well as you will need your energy.”

He turned and closed the door and I heard it latched from the far side. I seethed with anger.

***

It was dark when Brand returned and when he did, he brought my armor. “Put your clothes on. You may need them.”

I looked at my red cloth and bone armor and knew I would feel more secure in them. “If you’re not going to give me privacy, at least turn around.”

Brand turned away and I hastily slipped out of my overdress and put my armor on.

“Will you give me an axe as well, so I can beat my new husband senseless?”

“Be quiet, Svala. Follow me.”

“You’re taking me to…”

Brand was extremely fast as he put his hand over my mouth and pushed me up against the stone wall of the room. He leaned in close. “Unless you have a desire to stay here permanently, you will do as I say. Do you understand?”

I nodded and quietly followed Brand from the building and out towards the water. Two small boats were tethered there.

“Take that boat and head south. When you find land wait for me.”

“I don’t…”

“Just do it, Svala.”

Brand shoved my boat with me in it into the deeper water where a light breeze caught my sail. I oriented myself and headed due south. The fires of the village grew dim as I sailed away. The sailing was slow, and it was nearly morning when I landed. I was tempted to leave but heard Freyja’s voice convincing me to stay.

Minutes later a boat appeared through the morning mists and Brand stepped lightly onto the land next to me.

“You defy your father, or are you merely wanting privacy before you kill me?”

“I have no desire to kill you or to give you to another man, Svala. While taking you to your husband last night, you ran away and stole one of our boats. I chased after you to return you to our clan. It’s a plausible story that will allow me time to see you safely home.”

Brand handed me two long axes and I stared at him in utter disbelief.

“Why are you doing this for me?”

“I believe that your clan would come and attack us if we kept you. That wouldn’t be good for either clan. I also would like to see you happy.”

“You believe I’m much more valuable to my clan than I actually am. No one would come looking for me. They’re most likely pleased I’m no longer a burden to them.”

Brand smiled. “That’s perfect then. I can take you home, and they will tell me to keep you. Without a home, you would be more interested in returning with me so that I can marry you off to a most worthy individual.”

We started walking south towards the Harek Meadows. “Did your father really want to raid us because of me?”

“He did. I thought it was foolishness until I saw you. Now that I’ve had a chance to get to know you a little, I feel foolish for taking you home.”

“I don’t understand you. If I was forced to live in your clan, you’d just marry me off and I would be back to my duties of women’s work and having children all the while feeling a need to escape or cut my own throat. I’m not a blessing to a clan, I’m a curse. Those around me die. The Ragnar clan isn’t strong because of me, they’re a target.”

“I would hope if you were married to the right person you wouldn’t feel the need to end your own life.”

“The way things seem to be going, I have little control over whom I might marry. Women aren’t afforded the luxury of denying all requests, especially when they’re dragged off to another clan.”

“It’s not much easier being a man, Svala. My father is ill and I’m to inherit his rule. There’s an expectation I must choose a woman soon.”

“Therein lies the difference. It’s never the woman’s choice. For what woman could feel she can deny the future High King of the Calder clan? I doubt you will have anyone deny you. Aslief told me you were rather fondly looked upon by the single women of the clan.”

“What of you, Svala? Do you look upon me favorably?”

“I have mixed feelings about you and trust is a concern. You attacked my clan and had me kidnapped and yet you’re letting me escape and have treated me well.”

“Kidnapping aside, if I were a member of your clan, would you reject my marriage request.”

I was flustered, and warmth rose to my cheeks. I should despise this man, yet I didn’t. “Freyja has informed me I can’t marry any man that she doesn’t give her consent to.”

“Then introduce me to the Goddess so I can plead my case before her.”

“You don’t have a case, Brand.”

“How am I to know what the Goddess speaks to you? If she appeared before me and told me I wasn’t the right man for you, then I would humbly step aside.”

“Why do you care? A day ago, you had told your father you had already chosen another man that I was to marry.”

Brand smiled. “I didn’t imply another man, just that I had already chosen. I chose myself.”

I paused our walking to stare at him. “How dare…”

“There!”

In seconds we were surrounded by my clan’s warriors and they looked none too pleased to see Brand. Had I not intervened Brand would now be lying in a pool of his own blood at my feet. As it was father took Brand’s weapons away and Tar was intent on dragging him away.

I looked over the Ragnar clan warriors. Nearly one hundred and fifty men, some still wounded, surrounded us. All my remaining men had come and were led by Tar who seems to have become my greatest supporter.

Tar was roughly holding Brand who appeared at peace with this turn of events. Father checked me over carefully.

“What are all of you doing here?”

Father spoke for the group while eyeing Brand carefully.

“We believed you were taken and our High King agreed we should try to find you.”

“You came for me?”

“You’re a highly revered woman, Svala. The High King believes the clan’s success is because you commune with gods. What happened?”

I had to be careful what I said. I looked at Brand and took a deep breath. “There were several Calder clan warriors still in the area that had become separated from the rest of their clan. While I was dressing my wounds, they found me and took me. I was to be forced into marriage to one of the Calder clan’s men, but this man offered me protection, gave me food and drink, and helped me escape.”

Father moved to stand before Brand. “Why would you help Svala?”

“She spared my life on the battlefield.”

“You’re planning on seeking asylum with the Ragnar clan?”

“My intent was to see Svala safely to her home before returning to the Calder clan. I’m in good standing in the clan and can offer a story that I tried to stop her escape but ran into your warriors before turning back.”

I stepped forward and stared into Brand’s eyes but spoke to everyone. “He has done me a great service. I ask we repay him by giving him back his weapons and allowing him to return to his home.”

There was much argument and dissention, but father, the ranking member of our clan, reached for Brand’s weapons and handed them back to him.

“I would like a moment with Svala before I leave.”

Again, there was much anger and protest until father checked with me and I agreed I would be safe. We walked a short distance away just so that Brand felt comfortable speaking to me without being overheard.

“If not for your words, I would be dead once more, Svala. If they knew it was me that sent my men to retrieve you I would have had an axe through my head. I would like to finish our conversation. When can I meet the Goddess Freyja so that I can convince her of my good intentions towards you?”

I couldn’t share that my heart was concerned for him. Brand didn’t appear to be the kind of man that would just let me walk away. Freyja was very absent from my mind and yet I could use her advice. I glanced back towards the anxious men before turning back towards Brand.

“I think it safer for you to make a hasty retreat. You don’t want to linger lest all those eligible single women back in your clan go into mourning over your loss.”

“I will count this as a good sign that you haven’t already rejected me. Tell me that Freyja has told you I’m not the one for you and you will likely never see me again.”

“Don’t be a fool, Brand. Death surrounds me. Flee while you have a chance and these men are still in control of their senses.”

Brand smiled. “You will see me again, Svala, for you have not confirmed I’m not the man for you. I will come for you.”

“Go!”

Brand turned and walked north. I watched him go feeling the strangest thing ever. Longing.

“You will be his wife, Svala, but there are important events that must yet take place.”

“Why don’t you just kill me now, Freyja? I think death would be preferable to your idea of events.”

“Death is only the beginning, Svala.”

***

Immediately upon returning home I was called in to see High King Ragnar. By this point I was quite irritated by everything but denying the High King an audience was never wise.

“I heard of your bravery on the battlefield with the Calder clan, Svala. The clan was rightfully concerned for your well-being. What is the state of the Calder clan and their village?”

“Their village is well protected, High King. They live on the coast of another ocean path. Our warriors would spend weeks trying to reach their village by ship and carrying ships north through the Harek Meadows would be even more difficult. I’m afraid we are at a disadvantage.”

“I’ve heard their clan is prosperous.”

“Not so prosperous, High King, as insulated. They are the largest clan in the north and the smaller clans surrounding them fight amongst themselves. This allows the Calder clan to build and fortify their village.”

The High King shifted his gaze to my chest. “You remain intact?”

“I was unharmed. Their High King wished to keep me there by marrying me off to one of their men.”

“And this man that helped you escape… Who was he?”

“No one of significance.” Just speaking those words made me feel sick to my stomach for on the journey home I had ample time to sort my feelings about Brand. Before me stood the leering, crude, High King and the noble, courageous, Brand seemed infinitely more significant in my opinion.

“I have given this much thought, Svala. You have proven to be a great asset to our community. I hereby grant you the title, Freya.”

Freya was the equivalent of a female Lord. This wasn’t a fighting title, rather one of strategical importance to the High King. “I’m honored, High King, but hardly deserving.”

“Nonsense. You will be required to be at my beck and call and accompany me on dealings with other clans.”

Now I could see where this was going. “I do not with to usurp the High Queen’s role, High King.”

“Thurrid has not been well, and she cannot accompany me on my journeys. I must look to the future.”

I left the long house in a daze. It was clear to me that the High King was positioning himself to have me as his own in one way or another. I looked northwards and considered my options.

“You must stay, Svala.”

“What if I choose to go?”

“The Ragnar clan would believe you have been stolen and would ready their ships. Every fighting man would travel for weeks to the Calder clan, then, in the middle of the night, they would raze the Calder clan village. The Calder clan would be destroyed. Every man, woman, and child would be killed. This would include Brand. You would be taken back and forced into marrying your High King.”

The images of the young children came to mind and I held back the tears.

***

Weeks past one by one and slowly summer began to yield to fall. The air shifted from the north once again and the mornings were cold hinting at a harsh winter to come.

There had been no word from Brand and by now I fully expected that he had forgotten about me. Father was denying marriage proposals as directed by the High King now.

We had several battles and easily defeated our foes. Our High King was receiving more and more requests for alliances and he was eager to receive their pledges of food and money.

Throughout the battles, and with my newfound title, I continued to grow in favor with the men of tour clan. There was never any argument when I was tasked to lead them and even the seasoned warriors had sought to fight alongside of me. They still thought I might be Freyja, but my actions proved time and again to be the right ones. Fewer men died under my leadership than any other group.

“Svala. Tomorrow you will travel with me to the Hagis clan. They are a small clan a day’s sail from here. We will take fifty men as a show of force. You will be there by my side as I negotiate the alliance.”

There was nothing I could say. I feared the High King. Not only was he a large and imposing man, but I had heard the tales of how he easily beat Hersir Olaf to take possession of the clan after the last High King died. If he chose to have his way with me, I doubted I would be able to defend myself.

That night as I sat with mother and father, I expressed my concerns.

“I’m worried about this new role the High King has put me in. I fear for my safety.”

Mother’s hand drifted over her swelling belly. Her silence deferred to father.

“For many reasons you have earned your place, Svala. However, I do fear for you as well. I heard a rumor that the Calder clan’s High King has died. This could cause some strife in the north. Having additional clans to ally with could be a good thing.”

My mind drifted north. “Then the clan will become the Brand clan.”

“Brand was Calder’s son?”

“Yes. He was Hersir Brand Caldersson. He was the man that freed me.”

“That man we found with you was their Hersir and heir to the High King? You should have said something, Svala.”

“Had I he would have been dead now. The Goddess Freyja spoke to me about him but I’m doubtful what she said to me could possibly be true.”

Mother looked at me and held a slight smile on her face. “Is he the one?”

“That’s what Freyja told me. He even asked me, but I was rather upset with both him and Freyja at the time.”

“Brand obviously likes you and you spared his life and the lives of his men. Also, don’t underestimate the power you have in this clan, Svala. Our men all respect you. Even Olaf respects you enough to listen to your suggestions on the battlefield.”

“No doubt Brand has long forgotten about me and has more important things on his mind.”

Mother reached for my hand. “You’re not someone anyone could forget, Svala.”

I stood and stepped away. How could I have come so far? Lief was long forgotten by almost everyone, even me at times.

“What bothers you? Do you love Brand?”

I had thought about Brand nearly every day and each day that passed my heart grew heavier. I didn’t know Brand and yet I found his actions admirable and felt he would be a good companion for me. His smile and laugh would work their way into my dreams.

“I don’t know him enough to say such a thing. There are times in my life I feel I have a purpose and a destiny, and other times I feel I’m a pawn in something larger.” I paused for a moment of quiet reflection. If what Freyja had said was true, then by now I would have been dead as Lief. As Lief I had no life, no respect, no role, no rank, and no future. Now, even though I felt like a puppet of the Goddess, she had never led me wrong and my life now brought honor to my family.

Turning back to my parents, I realized I had been happy since my transformation. There had been pain and suffering, but I had risen above my position. Glancing down at my chest that was partially covered by my long, golden hair, I knew I was a better woman than I ever would be a man. It didn’t feel strange any longer to consider my body’s response to Brand. New resolve bedded within me.

“I’m not sure what the outcome of my life will be, but at the end of my days I hope I will be remembered as a Viking, as a defender, and most of all as the respected daughter of you both. I know things have been difficult for you since I arrived, but I’m very thankful for being put in your care.”

“You bring great honor to our household, Svala.”

***

The next morning, I left with the High King and some of our men for the village of the Hagis clan. The High King insisted I sit close to him. I was Freya, after all. I did my best to keep my distance from his groping hands, but one doesn’t reject the High King and I struggled with his nearness.

“We near the Hagis clan, Svala. You will remain silent at my side, standing slightly behind me. This will show them that I control you.”

I bristled at the thought.

When we landed, I was surprised at the number of men the Hagis clan had. They were a small clan, but I saw nearly seventy warriors. I spoke a word of warning to the High King, but he reminded me of my place and to remain silent.

A large, burly man approached us. His eyes flicked from our High King to me. “High King Ragnar. Welcome to my clan.”

“Let’s get on with this, Hagis.”

Hagis turned to address me. “You’re the one I’ve heard so much about. Perhaps you will entertain us with some miracles?”

I was about to reply when Ragnar grew irritated. “We’re not here for you to ogle my Goddess. You have chosen to swear fealty to me. Let’s be done with it so I can return home.”

I could see the Hagis clan warriors slowly inching their way around us.

“You’ve always been a fool, Ragnar. Give us your Goddess and you may leave with your life.”

Ragnar laughed. “You’re no match for us. Even though I see you’ve joined ranks with another clan and have more warriors than I brought with me, I have the Goddess that fights for me. Kneel, and perhaps I will choose to spare your life.”

Hagis shouted and drew his long axe. Stepping around Ragnar, I blocked the axe with both of mine. Ragnar had been unprepared for the attack and staggered back a step in disbelief. However, the damage had been done and Hagis’ men were now fully engaged with our warriors.

Hagis stared at me and smiled. “Kill them all! No one touches the Goddess. She’s mine.”

Fortunately for me, that gave me free reign without repercussions and while we had fewer warriors, we brought many of our best fighters. Hagis spun away from me and faced off against Ragnar leaving me free to engage with the Hagis warriors. With no one directly attacking me, I managed to greatly assist our men. As I parried, cut, and blocked, I kept an eye on our High King. Once Ragnar had recovered from the initial attack, he was a force to be reckoned with. Even with his added girth over the years, he was a very formidable fighter and quickly had his axe to the throat of Hagis.

With Hagis down and their warriors taking heavy losses, the others yielded. Stepping up to Ragnar’s side, I watched the final altercation.

Hagis was lying on his back, blood was streaming from his head. His hair was matted with mud and blood and one eye appeared to be bleeding internally.

Ragnar pressed his axe against Hagis’ throat causing the man to gasp for air and sputter. “You fool, Hagis. On your knees and yield.”

Hagis struggled to get to his hands and knees before he sat back and knelt. Ragnar pulled Hagis’ head back by gripping the man’s hair. He pressed his long axe against the side of his neck and drew his blade across his neck.

“Kill them all! Raze the village! Let this be an example to those that defy me!”

Hagis’ blood sprayed across my boots. The man had yielded, and Ragnar had killed him anyways. The destruction was horrific. Men, women, and children were slaughtered like animals as I stood in dumbfounded shame and anger. The village was set ablaze and the fires guided our ships for miles as we headed home.

“That went well.”

I bit my tongue to keep from replying to our High King.

“You bring me good fortune, Svala. I will be speaking to Kar.”

I had been grateful I had not killed anyone today, but Ragnar’s words and the images of the blood and death churned within me. I leaned over the gunwale and threw up.

“If you’re going to be my wife, you’ll need to have a stronger stomach.”

“It does you no good to ask Kar for my hand in marriage, High King, for you are already wed.” The words slipped from my mouth before I realized my error. I remained silent for the remainder of the trip home.

***

I felt trapped. A week had passed, and father had spoken to me of the High King’s intentions. I sat on a rock and looked towards the north. Running away would do no good. Brand was High King now and would have taken a wife. Brand’s clan hated me for my part in their defeat and I couldn’t go there for refuge. This clan continued to grow and anywhere I went, I would be hunted; any clan that took me in would be in danger.

Hearing a noise behind me, I spotted Yrsa coming to join me. She had become a close friend over the past months.

“Svala! There you are. I’ve been looking for you everywhere. Thurrid was found dead this morning.”

A wave of cold dread washed over me. Thurrid was Ragnar’s wife and the only person in the way of the High King taking me as his own. Suddenly I recalled my words on the ship and felt guilty. It was as if I had killed her by giving Ragnar the idea for achieving all he desired.

I looked north again. “I need to leave.”

Yrsa looked worried for me. “You’re being called to the village long house.”

I should have been more prepared. I should have left days ago. Leaving now without clothes or food would be a death sentence. Looking back towards the village, I saw Tar coming my way. He had to of been sent to bring me.

“This won’t end well, Yrsa.”

Yrsa bit her lower lip. “What can I do for you?”

“Pray the Goddess Freyja has mercy on me.”

I stood and lifted my chin just as Tar grabbed my arm. “You need to come with me. The High King requests your presence before the clan.”

Tar had been loyal to me, but lately he had seemed aloof. “I’d like some time to gather some things and change my clothing, Tar.”

Tar pulled me even faster. “You’re to come straight to the long house.”

As we moved quickly, I heard Freyja’s voice.

“Brand will be your husband. You must reject Ragnar’s offer.”

Hearing Freyja’s voice gave me strength and I pulled my arm free of Tar’s grasp. “There’s no need to lead me like a lost sheep.”

The long house was packed with nearly everyone in the village. With my arrival, Ragnar began his speech.

“You’re all now aware that my beloved wife, Thurrid, died last night. I’m in the unenviable position of mourning my wife and needing someone that will take care of my household. I have spoken to Kar about this and he has consented. Svala is to be my new wife.”

All eyes turned to me, and mother, standing behind all the men, winced. She mouthed the words for me to accept. Freyja had made my decision for me and I loathed to be touched by this man. I had no doubt that he murdered his wife.

“What you ask is a great honor, High King, but in respect of Thurrid, I would suggest a time of mourning for us all before I consent. Our High Queen was cherished by all.”

Ragnar glared at me. “There will be time to mourn after you accept. I have publicly sought your hand in marriage and have Kar’s blessing. As High King, I will remind you I don’t need your approval.”

He has forced my hand and the words I spoke next would condemn me. There was no need to hold back. “You believe I speak with the Goddess Freyja and I’m here to acknowledge that I do. She has spoken to me about who I shall marry, and your name wasn’t mentioned. I dare say, High King, that even if Freyja herself told me to marry you, I could not. For I choose to be with a man of honor, not one that hides in his long house and orders his own clan men to do his fighting for him. You send your men to their deaths while you relax on your seat of furs and drink your mead. You order the slaughter of men, women, and children and destroy their homes and villages. You’re not my High King for I reject you, your ways, and your offer.”

Ragnar’s face went as purple as a beet. His voice was tinged with uncontrolled rage. “You may wish to rescind your rejection, Svala. Tar has spoken to me and has brought forth new information. He tells me you chose not to inform our clan that the man you were found with was none other than Brand Caldersson, our rival clan’s new High King. Sparing his life and withholding that information is an act of treason. As High King, I will forego punishment of your crime if you choose to wed me.”

“Then so let me be punished for I would rather go to my death with my honor than grace the bed of such a poor example of a man.”

“Let the clan be witness that Svala Freyjasdottir has not denied the crime of treason and has rejected the High King’s rule and turned her back on this clan. The clans will see that our blessings came not from this fraud of a woman, but from the justice and might of my reign. Prepare the pyre. Svala will be burned alive for her crimes.”

I was at peace for the first time in my life. No longer did I need to worry about being raped. I no longer had to prove myself or fear this world of death. I barely heard the grumblings of the clan or the anger over my sentence.

Mother pushed her way through to me and held my face. Her tears spoke volumes. “I will never forget you, Svala. You’re the daughter I never had. I love you.”

Tar roughly pulled her away and pushed her down. My weapons had been removed from me, but I still had my arms free. I made my fist and slugged Tar with every ounce of strength. He fell to the ground and looked up fearfully towards me.

“You traitor! Show some courage. I go to my death, but know if you ever touch my mother again, I will return from Valhalla to castrate you!”

There was much commotion as I was dragged from the long house. Men were shouting and angry while others built a pyre around a post. Father came to my side. “I beg of you, Svala. Accept the High King’s offer. Plead forgiveness. For a Viking is of no use dead and I don’t wish to lose you.”

“I have lived a good life, Kar, and you have taught me much. You’re a good man and a good father. I’m sorry I bring dishonor to your home.”

“You’re wrong, Svala. You have honored me and my household.”

It was as if the clan had split. To my left were those that saw this as unjust. To my right were those that paid full homage to Ragnar. Olaff stood next to father and mother as I was led to the pyre and tied to the post.

Ragnar stepped forward and shouted. “Light the fires!”

Smoke began to drift in front of my eyes before I felt the first hint of heat from the fires beneath my feet.

“Will I see you in Valhalla, Freyja?” I whispered and closed my eyes.

“Valhalla is for those that die, Svala.”

There was a great commotion around me and I opened my eyes. Nearly two hundred men poured into the village from all sides. A man shouted “For Svala!”

Even as the Ragnar clan drew their weapons, and turned towards the new threat, I saw Brand push his way towards father and Olaff. As the flames licked my feet, I saw renewed hope in my father’s eyes. “For Svala!” He shouted as did Olaff. What was moments before a balance in power, now quickly shifted as half of Ragnar’s men turned to face the remaining loyal Ragnar warriors.

Brand leapt up to my side, braving the flames, and cut me loose before sweeping me into his arms and carrying me free from the pyre.

“Did you miss me?”

“You have impeccable timing. I thought you had forgotten about me.”

“You’re rather unforgettable, Svala.”

No blood had been drawn yet, but the clan men loyal to Ragnar were now vastly outnumbered. Ragnar fumed in anger and drew his axes. “I have the blessings of the gods. You can’t defeat me!”

Brand was holding my hand, but I slipped from his grasp and stepped into the center between the warriors. “No one needs to die today, Ragnar. What will killing one another do? If you fight, at the end of the day, both clans will be devastated. You’re all Vikings! I share your blood just as those opposed to you also have Viking blood. The cycle will never end unless we unite! You will kill each other, and another clan will take your place. Beyond our lands, other people fear us, but not forever. They will build armies and invade. As long as we fight amongst ourselves, we will never stand; we will never last. On behalf of the Goddess Freyja, I call for unity of the clans.”

Brand stepped forward and to my side. “The Brand clan will accept unity. Will the Ragnar clan?”

Ragnar stepped forward and held his axe high. “Only those that fear their imminent death would choose to yield their power. I will never yield.”

“Challenge Ragnar, Svala.”

“I will die, Freyja.”

“It is necessary.”

I had no desire to die, but Freyja hadn’t failed me yet. I turned to Brand. “Lend me your axes.”

Brand looked at me like I was crazy but gave me his axes anyways. Stepping forward towards Ragnar, I held my axe high. “I challenge you, Ragnar. No one else needs to die today.”

No one had engaged in battle yet and Ragnar looked at me and laughed. “You have no right to challenge me, Svala, for you have rejected this clan.”

“You’re wrong, Ragnar. I never rejected this clan, I rejected you. Are you afraid a woman can defeat you and take your place? Again, I challenge you before all of these witnesses.”

Olaff stepped forward. “A challenge has been spoken. High King Ragnar, you must yield your rank or fight.”

Ragnar glared at me. “I should have been rid of you a long time ago. I accept the challenge.”

I felt the fire within my blood rise as everyone backed away to give us room. I had nothing to lose as I slowly circled Ragnar to my right. I spun my axes and waited for his move.

With a roar, Ragnar charged me, and I rolled to the side, but he seemed to know where I would be and slammed his shield into me. I rolled several times but came up on my feet slightly behind him. With a swing of my axe, I caught him behind his knee. As his knee buckled, I slammed my axe against his helm.

Ragnar staggered, but he was High King for a reason. He shook off the blow and managed to hook my heel with his axe. He stood quickly and as he did he pulled me off my feet. He limped forward and brought his axe down. I rolled to the side just in time for his blade to sheer through my hair leaving a large clump of it on the ground.

I managed to get back to my feet to face Ragnar again. I could see blood trickling down from under Ragnar’s helm. He had longer reach than I did, but I needed to expose myself to get close enough. I feigned an attack only to have him sweep with his shield. Pulling back at the last second, his shield passed me by and interfered with his axe arm from swinging towards me. I spun and swung my axe against his shield arm’s bicep.

Ragnar screamed in pain. His shield dropped low as his arm failed to respond. Ragnar stood tall and pulled his shield from his dangling arm and advanced on me. He swung his axe so hard that both my axes shattered from the block. As he turned again, I dropped low and stabbed my wooden axe handle into his inner thigh near his groin.

I was, however, in a terrible place and was unable to block Ragnar’s armored knee as it came up and into my face. For a moment I lost consciousness as I fell backwards. Before I hit the ground, his axe crashed hard into my ribs, cutting me deeply.

I gasped as I lay on the ground. My life’s blood pouring out of me. Ragnar leaned over me and spat in my face. It would be the last thing I would see in this life.

***

“You have done everything I have asked of you, Svala. I couldn’t be more pleased.”

I rolled over on the soft grass and stared up at the Goddess Freyja.

“I thought you didn’t live in Valhalla.”

“Valhalla is a place for the dead. You’re not quite dead yet.”

I stood, feeling remarkably intact. My hair was clean, and it was all there. My fingers probed my ribs and there was no cut. “I failed you.”

“By no means, Svala. I had my doubts when you first found my ring, but you have proven yourself time and again.”

“But if I’m dead, then Ragnar reigns and the clans will remain separate.”

“Sometimes it takes death to galvanize ideals. People will rally around something or someone they believe in.”

“What happens now?”

“I’m sending you back. You’ll know what to do, Svala Karsdottir.”

“Karsdottir?”

The blue skies and green grasses vanished and were replaced by fire; fire that neither consumed me nor burned me. As the flames licked around my arms and legs, I stood and looked down at myself. My red bone and cloth armor had been replaced by a shimmering white armor gown. In my hands were two ivory axes. My golden hair blew gently in the breeze. I was fully healed and all around me people backed away in awe.

The flames died down and I looked down upon Ragnar’s body.

Brand, Olaff, and father stepped forward and bowed. “Goddess Freyja.”

I smiled. “No. I’m still Svala. As I was dying, Freyja brought me to Asgard. She told me my work here wasn’t finished and sent me back. She renamed me Svala Karsdottir.”

Olaff stepped forward and spoke to everyone as much as to me. “High Queen Svala. You’re truly blessed by the gods to be renewed by gods and fire, and as Ragnar has succumbed to his wounds, your challenge is complete. You’re the rightful High Queen and we’re yours to command.”

I glanced down at myself, past my breasts that were hidden by white armor, and to Ragnar’s corpse. All around me men held their weapons in their hands.

“Put your weapons away, for there has been enough death today.”

Without question every man stowed their weapons on their belts. They fear me. Perhaps it was because of what I was or what I had become but it didn’t matter. I was Svala, still mortal, but who would argue with someone that was raised anew by the gods?

Glancing down at Ragnar, I could see how my axe handle had severed an artery and how he had bled out. Everyone’s eyes were on me waiting for me to say or do something.

Turning to Brand, I could see he was a little frightened of me, but there was something in his eyes that let me know he was still the man I thought him to be.

“I appreciate your earlier rescue of me, High King Brand. Now that circumstances have changed, what would you and your clan have with us?”

“A wise and beautiful woman once challenged my clan’s way of thinking. She suggested that the Vikings needed to unite and that by killing each other we were no more than animals. The Brand and Svala clans are by far the largest amongst all the Viking peoples. By joining together, we could protect the Vikings and our way of life. As High King of my clan, I offer an alliance.”

“Then let it be known that the High Queen of the Svala clan wishes to seek an alliance with the Brand clan, however, I am but one voice. My people must have a say. Are you in favor of this alliance, an alliance that will alter our very way of life? We will fight those that wish to attack any Viking people and we will expand our lands and grow our territory instead of fighting each other. Are you for this?”

My clan rose their weapons in the air and shouted their agreement.

“Then, on behalf of the Svala clan, we accept your allegiance.”

I let my eyes roam over the crowd and spotted a man slipping from the ranks and I called him out. “Tar!”

He instantly paused as axes blocked his path. He turned to face me. “I was offered Himthiki rank to speak against you, High Queen.”

“Then Himthiki you shall be.”

“You’re not going to kill me?”

“There’s been enough death, Tar.”

Tar tipped his head and slipped away from view.

“I suggest a celebration is in order. We will light a pyre for Ragnar and when the last of his ashes have drifted out to sea, we will feast.”

***

The long house was bursting at the seams with people. Firelight danced merrily casting warm shadows of the laughing and boisterous people as they danced, shouted, ate, and drank their mead.

I sat in Ragnar’s heavy, wooden chair, not because I wanted to, but because others insisted. I felt oddly alone as my rebirth kept many a healthy distance from me. I was an anomaly, a mythical creature cast down to earth in the likeness of the Goddess Freyja. While Freyja’s vision of unity was not quite fulfilled, something had started here today that would have lasting impact on all the Viking people.

My eyes never strayed too far from Brand. He had remained somewhat distant and this perturbed me. Did he too feel that I was untouchable?

I saw him speaking with father even as mother came and sat by my side.

“I always seem to know when something isn’t quite right with you, Svala. You’ve made such an enormous difference in the clan. I thought we lost you when you fought Ragnar, but here you are. If I didn’t know you before, I would have believed you’re Freyja herself.”

“It’s nice to know you see me for the frail and flawed person that I am. I feel like a fraud because people think I’m more than I am.”

“That’s not entirely what’s bothering you, is it?” Mother’s eyes followed mine to Brand and father. “Do you know he brought his clan to claim you? He didn’t want a battle, just enough protection to seek an audience with Kar.”

“He hasn’t spoken more than a few words to me since arriving. His timing was impeccable. If it wasn’t for Freyja’s healing touch, I’m afraid my feet would still be black from the fires. Had he arrived any later, I would have been nothing more than a pile of ash.”

Mother fingered the fine outfit I was wearing. “You must introduce me to the Goddess Freyja’s dressmaker one day. I’ve never seen anything so beautifully wrought. Perfect for a wedding…”

I leaned over and hugged mother before standing. “I doubt that will happen anytime soon. All the men are rightly scared of me after my miraculous resurrection.”

“I believe the Goddess Freyja had everything under control from the moment she cast you upon our shores.”

Mother drifted away, and I found the long house stifling. I walked through the long house and stepped out into the cool night air. Moving to the water’s edge, I sat down on a large rock and stared out to sea. This is where father found me.

“People are wondering where you went.”

“Life has become so complicated. I have no idea what I’m doing as High Queen, nor what the people need. Pull up a rock and have a seat.”

“I’ve been meaning to ask you about Freyja changing your name to Svala Karsdottir.”

“What the Goddess does or says is a bit of an enigma at times.”

Mother came out and joined us, her hand resting comfortably on her swelling belly.

“It’s time to tell them the truth, Svala. Had you told them you were Lief before, you would have been considered cursed. The stigma of your life before would have followed you and you would not have been allowed to become who you really are. Tell them Svala.”

I winced, but it was a burden I no longer wished to carry alone. “It’s time you both need to hear the truth about me. I have no desire to see either of you hurt by what I’m about to say. Let me tell you a story.”

I took a deep breath. “There was a boy that grew up in a Viking clan. He was small for his size and ridiculed by the other boys. He was uncoordinated and weak and even though his father spent countless hours training him in the hopes that one day he would grow to be a strong, tall, Viking, more and more it looked like he would be a disappointment and dishonor his parents’ household. His one saving grace was that he was a good provider and brought many fish and much wild game for his family to eat.”

Mother sat down and took father’s hand in hers. “You’re telling us a story about our son, Lief. How do you know these things?”

I had to ignore mother’s question and continue the story. “One day, the boy rose early to fish, for it was spring and his family’s food stocks were low. The waters were unusually choppy that morning and the skies foretold that a storm was coming. Still, he fought the wind and waves and caught many fish before the storm surged to full strength. Fearing for his life, he sheltered in a cove and built a fire under a rocky outcropping. Knowing the fish he caught would rot if he did nothing to them, he set about cleaning them and setting them above the fire to smoke. As he was cleaning one fish, his knife struck something hard and inside the stomach he found a gold ring. When he touched the ring, the world around him vanished and he found himself at the feet of the Goddess Freyja in Asgard.”

Mother and father sat in complete but silent attention as I shared the rest of the story. “The Goddess looked down upon the boy and explained to him that there was once a High King that had helped her collect falcon’s feathers for her cloak. As a boon, she asked the man what he would have of her. He asked to unite the Viking clans. The Goddess considered his request and wove a destiny into a golden ring she made. She then tossed the ring into the sea claiming the one that found the ring would unite the clans. She then looked at the boy and told him that he couldn’t fulfill the ring’s destiny as he was. The Goddess Freyja then renamed the boy and cast him back to earth as a new person.”

I paused for the story to take full effect. “When I first me the Goddess Freyja, she changed my name and me from Lief Karsson to Svala Freyjasdottir. Now that the destiny of the ring is near complete with the allegiance of the Brand and Svala clans, she has renamed me once more to Svala Karsdottir for I was once your son, and from here on out will always be your daughter.”

It was father that found his voice first. “You were Lief? You were truly our son? I would never have believed such a tale had I not seen you rise from the dead. Why didn’t you tell us?”

“You said it yourself, father. You wouldn’t have believed had you not seen me raised by fire. Had you known, would you have even given me a chance to fight? Would I have risen to the level I now hold? As hard and painful as it was to keep this truth to myself, the destiny of the ring bound me to a new life, a life I needed to live without the burdens of my childhood following me.”

Father’s face twisted slightly but softened as he looked upon me. “Tis a curse to become a woman. Lief… you were a man. How can you live this way?”

“It was a struggle at first, but I had no choice as there was no going back. I yearned to honor you as Lief, but I could never become that which you wanted me to be. Have I brought dishonor on you as Svala?”

He shook his head. “No… Let it be said that no man or woman in history has honored their parents like you have, Svala. Now that I reflect on things, I see Lief in you. I see the courage and your ability to provide. But to be a woman, to be High Queen, you must also marry and be with a man. How can you…?”

“The Goddess Freyja gave me a new life as Svala. While I fought the changes at first, I was forced to live with them. I first considered being changed into a woman a curse, but I now see it as a blessing. Freyja changed me completely father, as if I had been born a woman. The only thing that makes me different are the memories of who I once was. I’ve long given up the fight against being Svala completely. As much as this much pain you to hear, I yearn to be a mother and a wife. You must know that I was unhappy as Lief and yet, through all the pain and trials, I’ve never been happier since that day.”

Father was speechless, but mother reached out to hold me close. “That’s why your birthday is the same as Lief’s. As a woman, I understand the stigma attached to us and how hard it must have been for you. From the moment you arrived, you have been a blessing to us and to all of those around you. You have stood up for women, protected them, and now hold the highest rank any woman has ever held in a Viking clan. As much as I felt the loss of Lief, knowing that you feel the Goddess blessed you is all I need to know to feel everything is as it should be. My only concern is we lack a dowry for you if you indeed wish to marry.”

Father had been staring at me, but I felt his resigned acceptance. “I remember a day that I told you Ragnar had been right. That the Goddess Freyja had sent to us something better than Lief would ever be. I didn’t understand your anger, and now I do. While I may never grasp what you have gone through, I admit Lief had little to offer as a fighter. It’s shameful that our society puts all our value on specific roles men and women are given. You have proven to me and others that women can take a more prominent role and I’m ashamed that I never treated you with the respect you so deserved. As Lief, you were good and honorable. We need to move away from these standards and norms we have put on ourselves. It wasn’t you that failed as a son, but rather me that failed you as a father.”

“Then perhaps together we can work to change our culture. For I have lived as both a man and now as a woman and have learned much. This tale shouldn’t be shared, for I truly desire to live my life as Svala Karsdottir without the hindrances of my previous life.”

There was a moment of awkward silence when a large salmon washed up at our feet. I looked up into the stars having a suspicion that Freyja was somehow involved.

“I suggest we clean this fish.”

Father reached down, lifted the fish with one hand and pulled his knife with the other. I heard the blade click against something hard and when father pulled the guts from the fish, hints of gold were seen. Father hesitated but pulled a gold necklace from the salmon’s stomach.

After washing off the necklace, father held it up for all to see. “I guess this takes care of your dowry. Was this Freyja’s doing?”

“I suspect. Since you were not whisked away to Asgard, I doubt this necklace is bound to any destiny like the ring I found was.”

Father smiled. “Good… because I like being a man.”

We all laughed, and the brevity resolved any lingering doubts or hurts we had. Father looked up and our eyes followed his. Brand was coming towards us from the long house.

“As High Queen, you may choose for yourself, but as my daughter I need to inform you that Brand has asked for your hand in marriage. I believe you might be good for each other.”

Father stood and took mother’s hand before walking towards their home leaving me all alone when Brand arrived.

“Did I scare them away?”

“If anything, it was probably me that frightened them off. I need to thank you for risking your life and cutting me free from the pyre.”

“I came to find you and, as usual, it seems you were in a bit of a predicament. I’ve never seen anyone so brave…”

“You think it is bravery when my actions are merely foolishness.”

“True bravery requires foolishness.”

Brand sat down next to me and I fumbled to find words but Brand filled the silence.

“I heard that you publicly denounced and rejected Ragnar.”

“For all the pain and suffering I’ve gone through, the Goddess Freyja has not steered me wrong. She told me I wasn’t to marry him. He was a foul, power hungry man that likely killed his own wife to take me as his own. I could never…”

I could see Brand’s smile in the moonlight.

“Obviously the Goddess Freyja has chosen someone for you that is far better looking than Ragnar.”

Changing the subject would be a wise tactic. “I’m sorry to hear about your father’s death.”

“While he was my father, I didn’t always agree with him. He built a well-organized clan and village, but there was little love and he was often merciless.”

“That’s the Viking way.”

“It doesn’t have to be. I’m sorry I never came for you sooner. When I returned home, father’s illness became much worse and for weeks I was forced to handle the clan’s needs. When he died, I was passed the rank of High King and with that, many more responsibilities were given to me. I came as soon as I could.”

“You assume I was anxiously awaiting your arrival.”

“I heard the stories, Svala. Ragnar decreed you were to die by fire for treason because you withheld my name and rank. You spared my life several times and yet, if you feel nothing for me, if the Goddess Freyja has not spoken to you about me, then I will be on my way.”

“You don’t fear me? You don’t see me as something unique and foreign? Freyja raised me anew before everyone’s eyes. She knit my bones together and restored me, putting me in new clothes. Does this not make you want to run from me?”

“I don’t fear you, Svala. You’re unique, beautiful, intelligent, courageous, and an excellent fighter. I’m unable to free myself of your hold on me. I ask that you look favorably upon me and consent to be my wife.”

I was conflicted and paused long enough for Brand to stand and turn away, but my hand grasped his and held him fast.

“You don’t understand what it is like to be guided by a Goddess; to be told this is the man you will marry. My life is entwined in a destiny I didn’t create, but I’m somehow fulfilling. I struggle with my own desires and question if what I want isn’t my own will; that somehow, I’m being manipulated. Freyja told me I was to marry you when you threatened to have me washed in front of your men. Ever since that moment, I was angry with you and Freyja for taking something from me that I should decide alone. Yet, when you left me in the tower room for the night, I felt alone for the first time in my life. When you looked at me while I was telling the children a story, my heart all but shattered. When you turned towards your home, I was devastated. When you never came for me these past months, I wept inside. I no longer care if the gods are conspiring against me and making me feel this way for the sake of destiny. I’m yours if you would have me.”

Brand’s strong arms pulled me up so that I was standing ever so close to him. I wasn’t sure what to expect. The Viking way is rough and brutal, but Brand was as gentle as a summer breeze. His hand cupped my face and his lips pressed tenderly against mine. In that moment I knew I was his completely; what Freyja’s destiny had begun would continue to unravel, and while life as a Viking woman would never be easy, it was something I was looking forward to.

***

***

As always, I appreciate hearing from my readers. Please take a moment to leave a short note or review. I look forward to reading your comments.

Casey Brooke