Chapter 34 Sophia's POV

Laura was holding me tightly. This was the same woman who had cuddled me at night and helped keep my nightmares away. I felt so much safer in her arms. Then the bell rang to indicate end of class and I felt a frisson of fear, knowing that there was going to be a rush of people in the corridor.

“Shhhh...it's alright baby. We'll just wait for the rush to pass. There is no hurry.” Laura murmured into my head.

She spoke to Chelle organising for us to pick her up on Saturday. She didn't know if I was going to be back at school before then. When we couldn't hear a stampede outside the door, we made our way back to the limo. Somehow we managed to walk while she was still hugging me with one arm. We were surrounded by four women who I guessed were our new security. There were still people about and I could feel their stares on us as we passed. It didn't affect my stress levels. I think the four guards around us, clearly keeping everyone at a distance and placing themselves between us and potential threats, allowed me to relax a little.

By the time we arrived home I was exhausted and struggling to keep my eyes open. When I went straight to bed, Laura came with me and just unselfconsciously stripped down to her underwear and cuddled me until I dropped off. When I woke up she was gone. Her presence had been so comforting, so reassuring. I had been so lucky to meet her. I had a shower to refresh myself and dragged myself back out to face the world.

I tried to get back into my routine for the rest of the day. I did my best with my singing and deportment lessons although my heart wasn't really in it. I think Laura or Eve had spoken to the teachers and they were kind to me that day. Still demanding, but less critical and more encouraging. Danica even had me memorising and singing a new Eve song. We talked about the episode over dinner that evening. No one had a good suggestion to prevent it from happening again. The best plan was to see Dr Barn the next morning and see what she suggested. Laura was going to be coming with me and if nothing could be resolved to her satisfaction I would immediately return home.

“So, err... how did Chelle react to finding out who my mum is?” I was starting to feel comfortable calling Laura mum. Somehow, in such a short period of time, she had really stepped into my life in a way that I hoped she would never be out of it.

Mum laughed. “You kept me a secret, you naughty rascal. I could have blown her over with a feather.”

“Well, I don't have any classes with her, so I only get the chance to talk during lunch time and it is not exactly a private conversation. I really wish I had been more compus mentus. I would have loved to see her face. I can't wait until she can meet you, Eve. She loves music and I think you are one of her hero's. Did she ask for an autograph?” I smirked.

Laura's smile lost some of its sparkle. “I think we were both more concerned about someone else in the room at the time. She did get all excited when I organised pick up on Saturday. I did tell her that I would be in disguise though.”

I had really wanted to see Chelle all happy and excited. I thought meeting Laura and Eve would do that. It was a shame that I had ruined it by being in such a sad state. I would have to plot another event to achieve my goals.

Laura decided that after another panic attack that it would be better if she stayed with me that night and she was right, it was a bad one. I actually had to get up and move around, have a glass of water, before I could even try and settle back in bed.

My body seems so much more fragile than it was previously. I now cry at the drop of a hat, I get scared so easily and literally shake with fright. I never did that as Dillan, on the other hand, I had never been assaulted as Dillan. Despite that, I'm not sure I would change anything. If I could go back in time, I would definitely want to stop Richard, but there was something about being in a female body that suited me. I was making deeper emotional connections with the people around me. I was somehow more myself. I don't think I realised it at the time, but, as Dillan, I was holding myself back.

The next morning Laura came with me for my meeting with Dr Barn. She was disappointed with what had happened and claimed that I had been improving. I hadn't noticed anything, but she believed that by going to school with boys all around me, I was overcoming my fear. This episode was a clear set back and may have worsened my condition. Nor could she stop it from happening again. She had already spoken to the coach who would again talk to the team, but it had to be a voluntary action on their part. That was not good enough for Laura, she wasn't going to leave me to be terrorised again.

The obvious answers of going to an all girls school or home schooling didn't address the problem and had their own issues. There were no local all girls schools, so I would have to go into a boarding school and home schooling wouldn't address the socialisation that Dr Barn thought was needed to help me overcome my fears.

In the end there was only one answer that she could come up with and it needed to be tested first. Laura was not in disguise this morning and her bodyguards were present outside the door which is what gave the good Dr the idea. Would I be less anxious if I was being protected? It would need to be more than one person, as with multiple perceived threats, all my mind would need to see is that I could not avoid the confrontation and panic may well ensue.

If we were going to potentially bring bodyguards to the school the principle needed to OK it and we needed to see if it made any difference. So we had to wait for the principal to arrive and be available to talk. I stayed in Dr Barn's office with Laura while she went to see the principal and discuss the issue with him. Laura phoned the company that provided security for her to check availability. Female bodyguards were a lot less common than male ones, so it would need to be carefully scheduled.

The principal did not like the idea of bodyguards in classrooms and didn't want to set a precedent. However he thought that it was possible during the lunch break which was thought to be the most likely time an incident would take place. The next question was would it help my anxiety. He arranged to have three large lads approach me in the cafeteria while I had four bodyguards around me. It worked. As long as they placed themselves between me and the boy approaching, my stress levels stayed within manageable levels.

Since these were Laura's bodyguards and it was difficult to find replacements, and they were only going to be needed for an hour, the principal agreed that Laura could join me for that lunch hour with the bodyguards. It also made it seem less like I was guarded and more that Laura was. There was a bit of concern that Laura's presence would be a disruption, but it was not during lesson time, so the worst that could happen was someone would go hungry. There would also be times when she was unable to make it, but hopefully then Eve would come in her place with the same bodyguards. Laura could always have male ones as a replacement.

So I was a bit late for my first lesson of the day, but able to continue with school. I was not that fussed by school to be honest. I don't think I was getting much socialisation anyway, since I had been avoided up until now. I suspected that would now change, but only because of my connection to Laura, so no real friendships. Learning wise, I could achieve as much or more at home. Eve was very pro education and schools in general and since she didn't believe that I could be Dillan, I couldn't argue that I had almost already graduated.