Chapter 32

I was having a few good nights now, so we were going to go back to the baby monitor solution. I had to promise to turn it on before I went to sleep. That gave me some privacy, allowed Laura to sleep with Eve and reassured Laura that she would know if I needed her.

The day started off fairly well. I spent my usual half an hour with Dr Barn. We still weren't really talking about my attack or even my previous gender issues, just concentrating on my previous life which was a complete fabrication. If asked to describe what my previous school looked like, I would just describe the one that I knew as Dillan. I couldn't see the point to most of the questions that I was being asked or how they would help me with my anxiety. Still, she should know what she was doing and I tried to answer as best as I could.

At lunch time I found Chelle's table and joined her as usual.

“Hi beautiful.” She greeted me.

“Hi amazon.” I replied. I settled myself with my tray and seat. “Chelle, there is this event I am going to next Saturday and I was wondering if you would like to help me pick out a dress. My adopted mother is taking me shopping on this Saturday and suggested you might like to join us.”

“I would love to, that sounds great.” Chelle said with enthusiasm and a big smile.

“You could stay Saturday and Sunday night if you like.”

“I will need to check with my parents, but that sounds great. They consider me old enough and mature enough to make my own decisions. They just like to be kept in the loop. Do you want me to come to your house on Saturday? I don't even know where you live.”

I smiled mysteriously. I had deliberately been keeping my connection to Laura and Eve a secret. I trusted Chelle to not blab. I hadn't told her because I wanted it to be a surprise. “I think mum has hired a limo, so we can pick you up on the way.”

“A limo, eh? I thought you said that your parents weren't rich.”

I lost my happy smile as I thought about Amy and Peter. I only really managed to speak to Chelle at lunch time so, although we had talked about many things, I had avoided the deeper stuff. In the cafeteria you have to accept that anything you say is being overheard and tailor your conversation accordingly. This weekend I figured I would have the privacy for us both to have a better, more meaningful chat. “Let's just say that my adopted mum is not hurting for money.” I then glanced around to indicate that I didn't want to talk about it where everyone could hear.

She reached forwards and stroked my hand in reassurance. “I am looking forward to it. I will text you my address and you can text me any details. Maybe a list of what clothes I will need. Will I be sleeping in the same room as you or a different one?” She asked with a glint in her eye.

Which meant I had come to the hard bit, when I had to talk about my sleeping issues. “We have a guest bedroom. Umm, this is a bit embarrassing. I think I mentioned that I had increased anxiety around men?”

“Yes. I have noticed you keep a constant surreptitious eye on your surroundings, but I haven't seen you getting too stressed.”

“As long they are not too big and don't get too close, I am alright. Well, the reason behind it is that I was attacked. Ever since then I have had a couple of issues. Anxiety around men and nightmares. I need to warn you that if you stay the night, there is a good chance I will wake you up in the middle of the night.”

“Are you OK with me staying the night?” She was still stroking my hand.

“As long as you are.” I replied.

She stopped stroking my hand to put her fingers under my chin and lift it up so that I could look her in the eyes. I hadn't even realised that I had started looking down, avoiding her gaze. “I will help in any way I can. If you are better with me in a different room, that is fine with me.”

“It is not that. I am fortunate that those who care about me have helped calm me at night after an episode. It is just not very pleasant to wake up in the middle of the night to someone screaming. Even if that person is yourself, I can tell you, it is not a very nice experience. I am getting better and hopefully it won't happen.”

“If there is a way for me to help, just let me know.”

This was a serious conversation and I felt a real connection as we were talking, but that didn't stop me from being aware when three rather large guys started heading in my direction. They were staring at me coming from behind Chelle. She noticed me me looking behind her and twisted around to see what I was looking at.

I shifted back on my seat automatically, so I was in a better position to get away. My heartbeat was speeding up and my mouth was going dry. They stopped besides Chelle staring at me aggressively.

Chelle stood up out of her chair to face them. “What do you want?” She asked fairly sternly, with a hint of anger.

“She got Beth and Cindy suspended.” He looked up at the cameras and smiled. “I am not going to threaten you or insult you, but there is nothing stopping me from approaching you, all friendly like.” He carried on smiling, with a nasty edge to it and then started going around the table slowly as if to catch me.

Chelle went around him quickly to stand besides me.

“How ddid I gget them sssusspended?” I said now stood up and backing away. I couldn't seem to help myself, I was looking around frantically checking that my only threat was in front of me.

Chelle moved so that she was slightly in front of me, so that they would have to get through her to get to me, but his friends started going out wider as if in a flanking manoeuvre. I didn't even know who Beth and Cindy were.

“You reported them to the principal for bullying.”

At this point I was very close to panic and I don't think I could have answered him if I had tried. I shook my head to indicate that he was wrong, backing away quicker and quicker. I wasn't too far from the exit from the cafeteria into the corridor. I checked one more time for the threats around me and then turned and fled. I rushed into the first women's toilets I could find and locked myself in a stall, shivering in overwhelming fear, trying to get my breathing under control.

I'm not sure how long Chelle was there before I heard her through the door, telling me that they were gone and everything was alright. I managed to gather the courage to unlock the door and check outside it. Chelle was there, but no one else was. She didn't approach me, just stood there with her arms open for a hug if I wanted. I pulled her into the cubicle, which was a tight squeeze, locked the door again and then hugged her tightly and started sobbing. She held me, stroking my back and whispering reassurances from above, her chin on my head.

I started calming down and feeling better. It took some time though.

“Ummm.. I think I better let you get to your next class.” I said to Chelle still holding her.

She laughed. “Class started awhile ago. Don't worry I've sorted everything, just relax until you are ready to face the world.”

“My handbag!” In my, shall we call it strategic retreat, I had left all my stuff behind.

“I've got it all. I hope you don't mind, but I used your phone to call your mum. She said she would be here as quick as she can and asked me to stay with you. Not that she needed to ask, I would have stayed anyway. She said she would phone the school and tell them that she was picking you up and stop me from getting in trouble for missing class.”

“Thank you. Do I need to go somewhere to meet her?”

“I don't know. Why don't you call her?” She said, passing me my phone from her back pocket.

Laura picked up on the first ring. “Mum?”

“How are you doing, are you alright, where are you?” Laura asked in rapid fire.

“I'm better. I'm in the girls loos. I'm so sorry, mum, I just panicked.”

“Shhh, darling. I'm almost at the school. You stay there, I will find you. Is Chelle with you?”

“Yes.” I passed the phone to Chelle.

“Hi, err.. Soph's mum. I'm still here with her. I'll stay until you arrive. We are in the toilet near the cafeteria.”

“Thanks Chelle. I will be there as quick as I can. Give her a hug from me.”