Chapter 10

We drove to a hotel near the airport and Gem arranged a room. Since she had not pre-booked we ended up in a room with a double bed to share. I didn't mind that, and considering my recent state of mind, it was probably a good thing. Gem apologised though and explained that she normally plans way in advance, but this time she had literally driven to the airport with a few clothes and worked it out from there. I asked if I could call Jen on the hotel phone and she agreed.

I know it can be quite expensive to use the hotel phone to phone abroad and my conversation would have to be in front of Gem and yet there was so much to discuss. I decided to first use the hotel wifi to email Jen with a description of everything that I had been through and asked her to tell me what she knew and a time that evening for me to call.

I did that while Gem had a shower. I had one after her and then had to find some new clothes to wear. At the police station I had just shovelled everything that I was keeping into the two large suitcases. Originally, one suitcase contained my clothes and the other all the items from Amy and Peter, but since I had discarded their clothes all their stuff was rattling around in there so I put some of my clothes in each to try and protect anything valuable. The end result was that I had to go searching through both cases to find a full outfit.

“Don't worry, I will help you repack later.” Gem commented, considering the mess.

I think she was hungry. Bless her, I don't think she had considered her needs once during the journey, she was all about looking after me. I didn't delay her any longer and we headed down to the hotel restaurant. The food was nice but nothing special. Our conversation was pleasant but we didn't delve into any deep topics and I have to say I enjoyed her undemanding company.

When we returned to our room I checked my email and found that Jen had responded. Of course, Dillan's parents had been informed of what he was accused of and his subsequent suicide. She was completely unaware of my involvement and what had happened to me. She told me that she had been worried sick and was wondering why I hadn't phoned her, until she got my email about being trapped in the hospital with no money for phone calls. She was available now and would stay by the phone for the next few hours so I was to call immediately. Reading between the lines I could tell that she had told Katie and my parents. Katie already knew something was up since she helped us sell Dillan's part of the company to Jen. I'm not sure whether my parents would have believed her or not, but after Richard's attack and suicide, I hoped that they would think I wouldn't have acted that way. I was hoping to convince them myself, when I managed to be in a position to talk freely.

I phoned Jen after shutting down my computer. If someone looked carefully at my laptop there would be all sorts of evidence that it was Dillan's. I didn't want Gem to think I had stolen it so I had removed the most obvious clues that I could find. I knew enough about computers to know that it would be easy to accidentally show Gem contradictory information.

It was so great to hear Jen's voice. I cried as soon as I heard her speak and was only just able to communicate enough to let her know that I was there. Once I was calmed down I then had to assure her that I was alright. I asked about her parents, knowing that she knew I needed to hear about mine. She told me that Katie was fine and her friends were helping her deal with the loss of her business partner who she was very close to. Jen remarked that everyone thought Dillan's behaviour was very out of character.

Whilst I was chatting to Jen, Gem started organising my suitcases. I stopped my call, putting my hand over the receiver to tell Gem that she didn't need to do that. She indicated that I was to continue my call and leave her to it. She even pulled out an outfit for our plane ride tomorrow and checked that I was OK with it before continuing.

I wanted to keep Jen on the phone. I wasn't going to be seeing her soon, as we had planned. I was now on my way to LA and I didn't know when I would be able to see her again. So I had these conflicting desires, keep the phone call short since I wasn't paying for it and it was expensive, and not let go of my Jen. In the end, probably sensing my troubling thoughts, Jen sent me hugs and put the phone down. If she hadn't managed to be the strong one, I don't think I would have been able to do it.

Gem's POV

Sophia had an exhausting day, so even though I wasn't that tired, I went to bed early with her. I wasn't sure if I should cuddle up to her to offer her reassurance or keep out of her way. I suppose I chickened out and kept my distance. She went to sleep very quickly and I was left wide awake lying next to her.

She certainly was not what I was expecting. Amy and I had led completely different lives, far apart from one another, but we still loved each other and kept in touch regularly. Amy had talked about a boy who was being bullied at school for being slender and pretty. The Richard she talked about was trying to be even more alpha male, to compensate for that and becoming almost disrespectful towards women. The psychologist had advised her to be patient. He was only a teenager and needed to gain in maturity. Amy had told me that she was keeping Richards behaviour decent by bribing him with money that he was putting away for future surgeries. She complained that since going to school as a boy he had become more and more intractable. He didn't want to do 'women's work'. She struggled to get him to do anything that could be considered housework. It didn't help that Peter wasn't a great role model in that regard.

That picture contrasted very heavily with the actuality of Sophia. The Sophia that I had met was gentle and kind. Considerate of others and willing to share her emotions.

It made me very curious as to what could have caused this change of heart. Right now I was fighting my curiosity against my morality. When I was reorganising Sophia's suitcases I came across Amy's Jewellery box. I gave that box to her, so I knew that there was a secret compartment in the bottom which she used to put her diary in. I didn't know if she was still keeping a diary, but if she was then the answers to my questions might be there. From a morality point of view, it would be wrong to read someone else's diary. Then again, if it would help me with her child, I am sure Amy would have wanted me to read it. If it was even there.

I knew I was, at least to some extent, justifying my actions, before I had even taken them, but I really, really wanted to know. I slipped out of bed and pulled the Jewellery box out of the suitcase. I went into the ensuite bathroom, closed the door and switched on the light. It didn't take me long to find out that there was a diary still in there and when I opened it to the last page it was dated the day before the assault, so it was up to date.