Chapter 4

We got back to our room.

“Richard is an arsehole.” Jen stated angrily, shutting the door.

“Don't forget he is only fifteen and I would say a young fifteen at that.”

“I don't think that excuses it. He wanted to steal your money and hard work.”

“I have to admit he scares me. He is young and immature, but he is in a big strong body and I am now in a much smaller one. I am trying to be sympathetic. Considering what he was prepared to put his body through he must have been in serious mental pain and right now he should be on cloud nine. Still, towards me personally, all he has done is insult and anger me. I want nothing to do with him, but I am not sure I am going to have that option. Anyway, let's not talk about him, let's talk about us. So you are thinking of deferring your course for a year?”

“Yes. I have been thinking and stressing over different issues to you. I have done my research and finally come to a conclusion. First of all, never doubt that I love you.” She looked me in the eyes knowing that I would see the love in her eyes. “I have never been attracted to women before and that is what you are now and will be turning into. That doesn't mean I won't be attracted to you, but I wanted to read a bit more about sexual orientation. According to my research, at least some of our sexual orientation comes from our culture. Our culture sees mainly black and white whereas the world is really shades of grey. Because I love you, I may be able to break some of my cultural baggage, but that is not all we are facing. My research also suggests that you may change your orientation when you have female hormones coursing through your system. In other words we could both be attracted to each other, or one or both of us may find ourselves not attracted. Let us also not forget your body is now only fifteen and since you have been on hormone suppressants, in reality it is probably equivalent to a twelve year old.

“I have decided that I am going to wait and see how this plays out. I want to be with you as much as possible and help you with who you are going to become. My mind is still set on our dream of being together, but I also want to ensure that if that doesn't happen, we end up as the closest of sisters.”

“I want that too.” I said, tears streaming down my face, launching myself into her arms.

“I think I need to go back as planned. You will probably have to stay here for another week. I will get some cash out that I want you to hide somewhere, so you are not dependent on them, but theoretically you are their biological daughter and until you reach eighteen you are probably going to be under their rules. Getting back before you will give me a chance to explain everything to our parents.”

There was a knock on our door. Peter and Amy had arrived together. We only had a small room with a double bed, a small table against the wall with a chair and the ensuite. Peter sat in the chair and Amy, Jen and I sat on the bed.

“I am sorry about Richard.” Amy said.

My normal reaction would be to say that everything was fine, but it really wasn't, so I didn't reply, which in itself was telling.

“Anyway.” Jen said breaking the uncomfortable silence. “I have decided that I need to go back as planned, but we realise that Soph, doesn't have that option. Is Richard coming back with me?”

“No. He is going to stay the extra week. If you could help me rearrange the flight for him that would be great. I have already spoken to the hotel and they have said the sofa in the lounge can convert to an extra bed. Richard will sleep there and you will have the other bedroom.”

“I think I would prefer to organise another room. I don't mind paying the extra, but I am not comfortable staying anywhere near Richard.”

Peter sighed. “Unfortunately there are no other rooms available. You probably won't see much of Richard anyway. Skiing was one of the few sports where he could hide his body and appear male without question, so we do this holiday every year and he is quite advanced. After breakfast he will be on the slopes and we won't see him again until dinner time. Then he goes out again and comes back to bed at God knows what time. This isn't our choice, but we have a lot less control of him now.”

“I guess I will have to manage. Jen is going to talk to my parents, but we are all going to have to meet up when we get back to England. Now I don't have any money anymore, I have given it all to Jen. I wasn't joking about that. So before she goes we need to know what this is going to cost me, so that we can give you the money.”

“Nothing. I will pay for everything. You are our biological daughter and asking you for money feels wrong. We have already discussed this between us, so don't argue, just don't.” Peter stated.

“When you said you are not taking your hormone suppressants, what did you mean by that?” Amy asked.

“I have struggled for the last few days with the idea of my future as mapped out by Richard. To me, it was a depressing thought. When I realised that I didn't have to do that, I felt a lot better. In other words, to Richard, staying in a female body was giving him mental anguish, so he needed to change it. I don't feel the same way. So, no, I am not going to be taking the hormone suppressants, nor am I going to be taking testosterone or having surgery.”

“You are going to allow your body to develop as a woman?” Amy asked.

“Yes. I accept the fact that this body is female and intend to allow it to develop normally. I am not sure how much femininity I am going to be able to get used to. Jewellery, makeup, dresses, skirts and weird uncomfortable shoes are all off the table for now.”

“But you might be willing to wear bras, swimming costumes and different colours to black?” Amy asked hopefully.

“Oh please God, yes! I don't mean to offend, but Richards clothes are so depressing. I feel like I am going to a funeral every day. And boxers? Really? I don't know anything about womens underwear, but there has to be something more comfortable.”

“Hallelujah! When Jen leaves, we are going shopping.” Amy declared.

“But darling we are in the middle of nowhere.” Peter pleaded.

“I have waited fifteen years to take my daughter shopping, you are not going to stop me now. I don't care how far we have to travel. Maybe we will stay overnight somewhere. Maybe we can have a few days together at a spa resort. I don't even like skiing. You are not going to deny me this.”

“I am not exactly your...” I started to say, but she turned to look at me with a finger pointing in my direction, so I held my hands up in surrender. “Sounds great.” I said with a pretend smile. Thinking, keep the crazy woman happy, just keep the crazy woman happy.

“Great. That is settled.” Peter said. “I'll leave you to work out the details. What we really need to work out is what we are going to do when we get back.”

“Even if we claimed amnesia, I don't think anyone would believe we were the same person and I don't think he would be ready to take my A levels in five months time.”

“He has already told us that he is eighteen and not going back to school.” Peter said sadly. “I don't really know what to do with him. He is being reckless and irresponsible at the moment and my parental rights have just evaporated. The only thing I have to try and reason with him is money. He has a certain amount that he was saving for additional surgeries, once that runs out I am hoping he will change his tune. Until then, I have no idea what to do. He is just not listening to us anymore.”

“Enough about Richard, he is our problem. We need to work out what you are going to do.” Amy said. “You can't carry on at his school, even if you could take and pass his GCSE's. Everyone there knows of him as a boy.”

“Couldn't you make my original parents my guardians, I can live with them and enrol at my local school? I will have to retake my GCSE's and A levels, which is a pain, but I figure I will have to do that wherever I end up.”

“I was sort of hoping you could live with us. So I could get to know the daughter I could have had. And if you ever have children, I would love to be a grandparent.” Amy said wistfully.

“I'm sorry. You seem nice, but I am not sure I could live in a house with Richard. We could do some weekends and holidays if you like. And let's not talk about children. I am still getting my head around being female.”

“Right, right.” Amy said.

“I think we have a plan. You two will enjoy the next two days together, then Sophia will move in with us. When we return to England, we will meet up with your parents and sort out schooling and guardianship.”