Chapter Two
 

The airlock filled with the hiss of pressurized air as it replaced the vacuum that I had been in moments before. Once the pressure stabilized the locks heavy inner door slowly swung open. Drab, dreary walls painted a mute gun grey were the first things to meet my eyes as I stepped into the airlocks antechamber. A closed metal door leading into the ship proper stood opposite me. Three stations, or coffin-like chambers, nestled in the remaining two walls on either hand. Each station stood about eight feet tall and three feet square, their internal chamber radiating a sky-blue light that seemed to come from nowhere. The diffuse glow from the chambers was the only real source of light in the room, giving the dark space an alien and otherworldly feel.

My imagination tended to run wild and fill the space with unseen monsters, or aliens that would reach out to grab me from the shadows. I was eager to leave the creepy, dark, and depressing place as quickly as possible. I opened the see-though door to one of the empty suit stations and moved to stand inside of it. Once in the center of the closed-off space the pale blue glow deepened to a soft navy blue and began to pulse in a slow methodic rhythm. For a few moments, nothing happened. Then the space suit I was wearing began to ripple in subtle waves to the pulsing of the light. It rippled and pulsed, then it seemed to slowly begin melting off of me. I had to suppress the urge to shiver as the nanomachines that constituted the suit reacted to the light and started deconstructing themselves. No clothes are worn under the space suits I can afford and I was left feeling as if a million tiny spiders were scuttling across my body. Their micro-sized legs pricking me as they left my skin to flow like water down a drain in the center of the chamber. I couldn’t wait to get out of there.

Safely out of the prep room I stood naked in the hallway, taking a moment to shake off the heebie-jeebies I was always left feeling after I used it. If I didn’t know any better I would think Eris had made it so creepy as a means of torturing me. Walking down a short and brightly lit walkway I came to the door of my personal cabin, my name written just above it in large golden letters. With a satisfying swooshing noise, the door slid open as I approach it. At perhaps four by five metres in size the cabin was decently sized for a ship as small as mine. A personal washroom was located to my immediate left with a tiny walk-in closet beside it. Over in its own little alcove off in the back of the room was a small but comfortable bed just large enough for me to sleep in.

Spanning the length of the wall to my right was a huge holo-screen. Currently, it displayed the most recent news from several worlds wealthy enough to have their services sent out through the hyper-wave lines. Directly opposite the screen, against the left wall, sat a large metallic desk. My personal computer and some technical files I had been looking over the night before were scattered across its surface. Fitted into the wall above the desk was a small but elegantly carved wooden bookshelf. Its mahogany shelves filled to the brim with books whose spines were crinkled from use and the paper pages yellowing from age. Each book a memory stolen from my home when I had been forced to flee the world of my birth. They represented so much more than the stories they held and were some of my greatest personal treasures.

But the thing about my room that was my personal favorite, along with being the greatest luxury I owned, was the window that opened out into space stretching across the alcove above my bed. Some days I’d lay awake for hours, just staring out into the inky depths of space. The vastness of it filled with a collage of stars reduced to mere pinpricks of light. It was a view I would never tire of and a luxury that very few ship owners could afford to have. Most people used either hyper-realistic screens or cheaper holographic displays. But if one could afford it, they could get nanotech windows that wouldn’t compromise the structural integrity of the ship. To get the window installed had cost me most of two years pay but it had been beyond worth it.

I could feel my shower calling my name and I had to force myself to turn away from the enchanting view. I always felt gross after getting out of the suit stations and desperately needed to take a shower afterward. It was an entirely mental thing since the nanomachines couldn’t possibly leave any kind of residue behind but that never mattered to me. I would always spend ages in the shower afterwards, taking enough time in the shower as necessary to leave me feeling clean once again.

Clean, and naked except for the towel around my neck, I stepped into my small closet. A flicker of motion at the back of the closet caught my eye. I turned to face the movement, jumping back with a start when I came face to face with myself. I found my reflection staring back at me from a body length mirror hung up on the back wall, a cover laying in a piled heap on the floor below it. I flinched at the sight of my body, the young woman in the mirror copying my action.

I’ve always done my best to avoid looking at myself. Always shying away from the memories my image often seemed to dredge up from the depths of my psyche. Except for this mirror in the closet, there were no others aboard the ship. Not in my washroom, not anywhere else on board. There was only this one mirror. It was the only one I could ever bear to look at. Although, most of the time I kept it covered and hidden away. But the covering had slipped off and now that I had glimpsed myself in the mirror I stopped. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and then with a sigh of resignation willed myself to open them.

I opened my eyes to find a pair of gleaming emeralds looking back at me. Their beauty was bewitching and a hitch caught in my breath. I was dragged into their radiance and would surely drown within their fathomless depths. Long thick lashes served to draw attention to their beauty and accentuate their exotic shape. Works of art overflowing with life and spirit peering back at me. Those are your eyes now, my eyes. I have never been able to fully reconcile the pair of eyes staring out from the other side of the mirror are my own, and I always found myself repeating the same old Mantra. That what I see in their depths is only a reflection of what exists within myself.

Wandering from their counterparts in the mirror my eyes were drawn up to a head of rich, platinum blond hair. Still wet with dampness the hair cascaded down the middle of her back and ended against the back of her thighs. Currently, it clung to the curves my reflections body, but when dry it would be filled with natural waves. A pair of bangs fell below her shoulders and framed a face that was undeniable in its beauty.

The sharper lines of womanhood could be seen in the shape of her face, but the gentler features of her youthfulness tempered the severity that would come later in life. Thinly arched eyebrows curved elegantly above her enchanting eyes. A small pert nose that ended with a slight upward tilt sat between a pair of well-defined cheekbones. Full pink lips rested upon on a mouth that seemed constantly on the verge of a smirk, as if those lips knew something I never would. A pair of dimples lay hidden, waiting for when she smiled or laughed to reveal themselves. The last remainders of baby fat on her face softened her strong jawline and pointed chin, which slid into a long and slender neck.

Standing at roughly five feet eleven inches she stood tall, her body was slim and clearly already that of a woman’s. Curves that could only be described as sculpted cut out a shapely hourglass figure. A full chest with breasts that were noticeable, but not over encumbering, transformed into a toned stomach with a narrow waist. Wide womanly hips blended smoothly into legs that were long, fit, and slender, ending in a pair of feet with cute little toes. Her skin tone under bright light appeared a light pink that almost bordered on alabaster and was without blemish. Beside her eyebrows and the hair on her head, the only hair on her body was a small delicate patch resting just above her privates.

She was stunningly beautiful. Capable of toppling kingdoms. It was clear that in the future she would become a queen whose beauty would be worthy of conquering nations. In other words, she was perfect. It was as if she had been designed to perfection.

And she was.

She had been built instead of born. Everything about her designed to conform to an idea of perfection. Her femininity had been accentuated and her form was sculpted. She was created to be as absolutely attention-grabbing as possible. Everything about her was meant to underscore one thing, that she was absolutely, undeniably a woman.

Which is exactly what I hated the most about her.

I don’t despise my body, I just can’t. I’d had four years to get used to it. What I despised was everything that all the perfection stood for. For everything I had lost and what she had cost me. I hated her for what the idea of her stood for.

But, she also represented something greater than the idea of her. Something I could never have had if she hadn’t been designed. If I had never become her. Something that without her would have been out of my grasp forever. She was freedom. She was my freedom. A freedom to live a life for myself.

And for that I loved her.

Staring at me from the mirror, a stream of tears gliding down her cheeks, was me, the girl and the woman I had become. I know there is a fire somewhere within her. I could see it burning right below the surface, just needing to be found. But right now, looking into her green tear-stained eyes, I know I’m not yet ready. That I'm not yet strong enough to find that fire within and face the demons that haunt her. A gentle voice filled with love pulled me from the depths of my thoughts, bringing me back to the surface.

“Come now mistress, perhaps you should get some rest. It’s been a long and stressful day.” Eris could always tell when I needed her most. She was always there, able to drag me out of my thoughts when they started to go places they shouldn’t, “for now I’ll handle our course and direction. We aren’t expected at the next platform anytime soon so you can at least get some sleep. We can do the jump tomorrow.”

“Thank you, Eris,” I mumbled. My voice raw with emotion and barely louder than a whisper, “Yeah… that sounds like a good idea. Can you please get me some sleep stimulants? I think I’ll need them tonight.”

I picked the sheet up from its pile on the floor and once more covered the mirror, making certain it would stay securely in place. Back in my cabin, I found a cup filled with a pink fluid waiting for me on my bedside table. With a grimace, I downed the drink, “God, that shits disgusting.” The flavour of the sleep stimulants made me want to gag but the effects were worth the price. As I lay down to sleep under the covers of my bed I could already feel the stimulants taking hold and was asleep before my head hit the pillow.

Ok so this is the first draft of the second chapter. It's always difficult to write descriptions of people and I really struggled to do Aviina justice. To try and show what she looks like rather than tell what he looks like. To give both her and the reader the respect that she deserves. To keep her organic and alive.

I've also been debating with myself quite a bit if I should keep the reveal of her body being designed in the chapter, or to take it out and save it for later on. Instead, I did a bit of a compromise. I kept some of the info in the chapter and I've taken some out. Regardless that could change and I might just remove it completely, we'll see. This chapter really was a struggle to write and I can only hope the emotions she feels gets across appropriately.