When I got back to Tina's room she was still sleeping. I crawled back into bed – avoiding the spoon - and tried to go back to sleep myself, hoping I would wake refreshed. It didn't work. I couldn't get back to sleep. My mind kept churning, trying to reassemble the night.

All I could get was glimpses. Random flashes. Even the tiny snippets were disturbing enough.

I heard Tina's groan and knew she was reluctantly waking. I feigned sleep. I heard her groan. She must have looked at the clock. I heard her leave the room. I guessed shower.

Even with my eyes closed, the fragrant floral scent when she returned confirmed my earlier hunch. I went through the motions of being awakened by the sounds of her moving around the room and stirred beneath the sheets.

“Morning skankypants.” Tina cooed. I just groaned a reply.

“Where am I?” I fumbled with the covers. Tina didn't know that I had already figured that out.

“Safe house” she grinned. “After last night you may need to lay low for a while.”

“?????” I made a quizzical sound & shot her a confused look.

“When Lauren & the girls dropped us off at your car, there was no way I was letting you drive, so I took us home.”

I just gave her a baffled, unfocused look.

“You're in my room.” she finally shrugged. “....in my bed.”

I bolted from under the bedsheets as if I suddenly discovered the bed was filled with fire ants. Then realizing that I was standing in just bra and panties, quickly yanked a sheet around myself. I believe my apparent surprise convinced Tina. She just laughed.

“Where are my clothes?” I gasped.

“Your clothes are in a shopping bag in the car.... my dress and heels which I let you test-flight are hanging to air on my closet door. Where they belong.” she grinned.

“oh.” I said in a tiny voice, trying to collect my thoughts. “Um, regarding that uh.. test flight...”

Tina's brow went up and she regarded me with a sly smirk. “......Yes?”

“...ummm.... how did it go?....” I think my state of mind was all over my face.

“You tell me.” Tina replied, the smirk growing.

I tried to concentrate and realized I was really knotting my brow.

“How much do you remember?” Tina finally asked with a cat that ate the canary smile.

I shook my head. “...uh, I remember doing shots of ….firebombs....”

“Fireballs.” Tina corrected.

I nodded. “Uh.... I remember.... the soldier guys...”

Tina nodded supportively. “...And the construction guys...”

“Construction guys?”

Tina grinned. “Builder Bob and the erection set?”

My deep blush and shudder betrayed my startled embarrassment.

“Really?” I finally managed to croak out. To Tina's nasty grin.

“Oh Yeahhhh” she nearly purred. Then her expression faded to mild disappointment. “...you don't remember the hard hat dance?”

I shook my head. I had this unmistakable feeling that not remembering was a blessing.

“....shame.... You really impressed my friends.” Tina grinned wickedly.

Oh, God. THAT can't be a good thing.

“So, I'm guessing you don't remember bananaman either.....” she trailed off.

I felt the heat as I'm sure my face flashed crimson. All I could do was shake my head.

Tina's grin got positively evil. She walked over to her bag and fumbled with her phone. Finally showing me a dark and grainy video. It was terrible quality, but it was clearly me. I was positively blasted. Taunting this dancer with a banana in his speedo. A huge, mutant banana. Where do they even find those things? Do they have some produce supplier who raises super-bananas for them to use in their lewd routines?

My mind snapped to the video as the guy had removed it from his trunks and was waving it around, practically grinding in my face. I was grinning lewdly and kind of snapping at it, to his apparent amusement. Then as I watched in total mortification, I grabbed the stem of it in my teeth. The guy seemed startled, but went with it. I then watched in horror as I peeled the thing with my teeth and did exactly what you would expect any drunken horny girl at an erotic dance club to do. For a moment I forgot I was watching myself. It was surreal. Was this girl a porn star? Did she even have a gag reflex? Even the dancer seemed transfixed as she kept eye contact while lasciviously servicing his massive musa. Then with a gleam in her eye, she snapped her teeth shut, biting the banana at the base and seemingly swallowing it whole! The dancer snapped back startled, and as I watched Tina's phone I felt my neck do the same, to Tina's delighted snort.

Oh my God! How could she DO that? How could anyone do that without choking? I was fully expecting the next thing to be someone performing a Heimlich maneuver, but there was just the drunk girl with the devilish grin and the ripple down her throat as she dispatched that thing as a snake would a mouse.

Tina shut off her phone and gave me the oddest grin.

I just looked up at her. I had no words.

After a long, awkward silence, Tina just grinned and popped the phone back in her bag.

“To say you impressed my friends is an understatement.” she chortled. “You are now freaking legend.”

I just stared back mutely. I had no idea how to react to this revelation.

“And I....” she puffed up “...am kind of legend too... for finding someone like you and becoming friends!” Her smile betrayed amused delight.

I shifted uncomfortably. “You're ….welcome?”

Tina let out a roar of a laugh, so hard it ended in a snort. She wrapped her arms tightly around herself trying to stifle the outburst, which finally ended with a cascade of hiccups.

“....so maybe not remembering much of last night is a good thing?” I said quietly.

Tina nodded. Still grinning. “Probably.... for you.... but the rest of us will never forget.”

“....or let me forget?” I asked sheepishly.

Tina shook her head. “I wouldn't do that to you sweetie.”

At the relief on my face, she grinned. “....on the other hand Lauren and her bitches brood....”

My face fell. “Oh, God. That phone video. Tell me you didn't share it.”

Tina shook her head with a scowl. “Not my phone. Becky took it. And sent it to me.”

I must have gone pale. Her look softened.

“I told her my battery was dying and borrowed her phone later. I deleted the video.”

The relief on my face made her frown.

“No guarantees she didn't share it with anyone else.” Tina said quietly.

I scowled.

“Even if she has it, Lauren won't share it.” Tina smiled. “I told her not to dare. ….and she knows I have a lot of dirt on her I never used. It's insurance.” she grinned.

I nodded. “Was there....anything else... I should know about last night?” I hesitantly inquired.

Tina's grin went broad. “Oh. LOADS....” then with a twinkle in her eye, she purred “...but your head might explode.... I'll tell you everything.... over time.” she winked.

My displeasure showed. Tina softened but didn't back down.

“Time and distance will make it easier to hear” she said quietly.

I swallowed hard. And nodded uncertainly.

Tina blessedly changed the subject. “YOU... need a shower.”

I scowled and raised my arm leaning my head toward my armpit. Tina laughed.

“No, no... you're not gross.... it's just... I know where you've been...” and with a mischievous grin “...and what you've done... anyway... it's morning... so go shower! I'll go down to the car and get your non-slut clothes.” With a smile she tossed me a robe.

“Down the hall, third door on the right. Oh. And even if it's empty, stick your head in first to make sure it's OK.”

On my puzzled look, Tina smiled. “I have brothers.”

I smiled back, remembering Dale and Colin back at my old place. I nodded and padded to the bathroom.

Tina knocked and without waiting popped her head in. Dropping some items on the counter next to the shower. She shouted through the curtain “Bodywash & a fresh pack. Take it back to my room when you're done or my stupid brothers will use it all up.”

As I heard the door close, I poked my head out to see a bottle of floral bodywash and an unopened 3-pack of jockey for her cotton panties. Tina was the best.

I felt much more human when I emerged from the shower. Quietly padding back to Tina's room, I nearly collided with Tina's brother as he burst out a door like an ejecting pilot.

“Whoa! Sorry.” He blurted as he placed his hands on my shoulders to steady me, since he nearly bodychecked me into the wall. He quickly caught his reflexive 'handsiness' and withdrew his grip. With a blush he repeated “Sorry.”

I smiled weakly, unsure what else to do but just wanting to escape to the haven of Tina's room. I was standing in the hall, still slightly damp, wearing just thin cotton panties under my robe, towel around my hair and these flimsy mule-like slippers that I'm sure Tina must have swiped from a hotel. Her brother was fully dressed in tight jeans and a rugby jersey that betrayed his fit physique by its drape. There was a really unbalanced power dynamic here. Only compounded by the fact that this was his home, and I was a stranger who barely knew her way to the bathroom. He seemed to get it. Or maybe my reaction got it for him. He backed off, leaving me a bit more personal space. Then with an awkward smile he said “You're Chrissy's friend....”

“Chloe.” I reminded, still not feeling the least bit confident by this encounter.

“Frank.” he smiled. He must have read my mind “....Franceso actually... but nobody calls me that... if they value their life” he laughed.

“Frannn.....” I began and saw his brow raise “....k” I smirked. He grinned. “I remember. And your brother's Sal.”

He nodded, apparently pleased that I remembered.

“So. You guys have fun last night?” He smiled.

I blanched. His grin got bigger. “Wh.... what did you hear?”

By now it was a full blown 'shit eating grin'. He held up his hands. “Nothing! Honest.” But his smile persisted. “I'm guessing you went out with Chrissy's friends.” His smile said it all. Lauren and her crew had a long established reputation.

I could only nod sheepishly.

“Well, you woke up here and not in jail or a public fountain, so I'd say the night went well.” Tina's brother grinned.

I edged away with an uncomfortable smile and tried to excuse myself.

“Uh. Thanks. I really have to....” I cocked my head in the direction of Tina's room. “I really need to....” as I was awkwardly trying to excuse myself, Tina rounded the corner, bags in hand.

“Frankie. Stop hitting on my friends!” Tina barked. Her older brother shrunk back like a great dane cowed by an angry chihuahua. As she swept past us, Tina grabbed my elbow and towed me along.

Frank smiled sheepishly and said “See you later?”

I just looked at Tina who rolled her eyes theatrically. Then turned to Frank with a conflicted shrug and a smile as Tina yanked me into her room.

“God I'm sorry.” Tina sighed. “I can't bring a friend over without my horndog brothers hitting on them.”

“It was OK really. I was just coming back from the shower when he burst through his door and nearly flattened me.”

Tina gave me a look. “Still. Sorry.”

I shrugged. “It's OK. He's cool. Your whole family is cool. I have to admit I'm a little envious.”

Tina shot me a look of surprised curiosity. “Really? Your family must be really messed up then.” she laughed “...although you never talk about them....”. Upon my expression she backed off. “...sorry... not my business....”

She quickly changed the subject. “Hungry?”

I gave her a look. “I don't know. After that coffee and the breadstick yesterday, and the vodkas and all those firebombs....”

“Fireballs” she laughed. “Right. Let's get an omelet in you.”

We went down to the kitchen and Tina gave me a serious stare.

“Not a word to my mom about this. She's very ….territorial.” Tina forced a grin.

“Where is she?” I wondered aloud.

“Hairdressers. Then nail salon. She is not going to my cousin's wedding and hanging out with my dad's family without looking absolutely perfect.” Tina grinned. “They've been married 36 years, and she still feels like his family is judging her.”

I smiled and nodded. Then Tina surprised me. She did a thing with her face and turned to look me in the eye. “She's probably right.”

I reflexively grimaced. “Tough crowd.” I muttered.

Her grin was fierce. “You have NO idea... welcome to my world.”

I smiled politely and watched Tina prepare our omelets. She barely looked at what she was doing. She continued chatting with me and making eye contact while she deftly diced the bell peppers, chopped the cilantro and scallions, sliced the chorizo and whisked the eggs. It was like muscle memory and I made no attempt to hide my awe.

“You are really amazing! I know from nights when it's your turn that you can cook... but I had no... this....” I gestured to the items in her workspace... “I had no idea!....”

Tina shrugged. “Growing up with my mom, you either learn to keep up or you never hear the end of it.” This was no big deal to her, but I was impressed ...and a bit stunned.

We were enjoying our leisurely brunch and casually chatting. Truth be told, I was savoring mine, but it seemed to make Tina self-conscious, so I damped down my effusive praise of her kitchen skills.

“What are your plans for the day?” Tina asked innocently.

I shrugged. “Back to my B&B. Knock around Greenville. Yesterday was a rather mad dash down the 'things to see' list. There are a few places I'd like to revisit and linger."

Tina nodded absentmindedly. “Would you mind terribly putting all that off for another day or so?”

I cocked my head quizzically. She wanted something, but I couldn't imagine what.

“Wanna crash a wedding?” she grinned.