This was not the darkness. I was being assaulted by things, images, sounds, many of which I did not know or could not have seen before. A part of me, the part of me more aware than anything else, knew this state as 'dreaming'. The rest of me had never dreamed before.
 
The largest part of me was trying to figure out what all the things I was seeing (experiencing) were. Lights and colors pinwheeled around, while spots appeared and disappeared. An old man appeared, a kindly grin on his face while waving an arm. A small dog, grungy and tongue lolling as it came to lick me. A much smaller doctor Reg, his face unlined.
 
Places too: an old white house, with a large yard. A small stream with fast flowing water. A striped tent, with animals I should recognize, but didn't. Streets lined with houses, stores, and buildings with other uses, including a place to feed cars.
 
The sounds were the worst; barking and bleating and guttural car noises, voices and bangs and yelling all combining with other, softer noises until I couldn't stand it anymore.
 
And then it all started fading away, into a single dot of existence, and the darkness started closing in. I tried to move, but could not. I tried to scream, but could not. I tried to open my eyes, but could not. And just as I was giving in to despair, all hope gone, everything came back with a rush.
 
“...ary? Mary? Can you hear me?”
 
Doctor Reg!
 
I flew to him, wrapping my arms around him so fast I swung us both around. He didn't fall however, and I remembered just in time I had to be gentle, so I eased up and dropped. I didn't let go.
 
“The dark came and I was so scared Doctor Reg! Then you came and made it go away!”
 
He put his hands into my hair. It felt nice.
 
“It's OK Mary. It's my fault, and I'm sorry. I should have realized how quickly you were using the electricity I gave you before. But it's fine. That darkness will never claim you again.”
 
The room came into focus around Doctor Reg, revealing Nurse Gracie and Fido standing to either side of me, amongst the things... machines? Of the tower where I first woke up. I had been brought here again, as the darkness had been about to claim me. I could hear a hum underneath the other sounds. And then nurse Gracie started laughing. I looked over at her, to find her pointing at doctor Reg.
 
“What?”
 
Doctor Reg's hair was standing up. How did he get it to do that? Normally it laid flat, but it was up in a ball around his head. Fido was laughing too, which was a weird sort of rasping wheeze. Nurse Gracie's hair was put up like normal. I waited, wondering if it would stand up to. When I first saw doctor Reg after all, his hair was normal, and then it stood up. It wanted to, for some reason, but why?
 
Randolph! If everyone else was here, then he was alone!
 
“Randolph!”
 
“He's fine, Mary. He's awake and waiting on us. Are you feeling alright? Ready to go down?”
 
I was, so I nodded. She led the way with Fido, and doctor Reg was behind me. The stairs were easier this time. My self worked better. I laughed as I touched nurse Gracie and Fido carefully, and then ran. I remembered this! It was a game, and I'd done it earlier, but I could remember... doing it with doctor Reg?
 
Yes, we used to do this in front of my house! Sometimes with more people, but often just the two of us! I looked back at doctor Reg, trying to make his hair flat again with his hands. How had he gotten so big? Something had happened to change him.
 
I felt like I almost knew what that something was, now. I was... more than I was before, somehow.
 
Randolph was in his bed, but awake and reading a book when I burst in. I made it all the way to him before nurse Gracie made it inside, and managed to carefully snuggle up to him and look in the book. There should be pictures in it, but there weren't.
 
“Don't pout Mary, I'll read to you later. How are you?”
 
I smiled and hugged him to show him I was fine.
 
"Right, you're fine. You gave us quite the scare."
 
Scare; what was scare?
 
"You just stopped," Randolf continued. "It took us a while to understand what was going on. The good doctor had to give you a little zap."
 
What was a zap? Did it matter? What was matter? Something... my head was crowding.
 
"I am... dizzy." 
 
Randolf put his book down, and everyone looked at each other. I put my head on the bed, it felt better there.
 
Everyone moved, looming over the bed. "Are you alright, Mary?" Doctor Reg asked.
 
I had been asked again; was the answer different? "Yes. No?"
 
"Right. You don't feel well, then. Come on then, off to bed with you." Doctor Reg picked me up. I grabbed the cloth on the bed; covers? Blankets?
 
"No, Mary. We can't bother Randolf, he's healing. Don't worry, I'm sure nurse Gracie will stay with you."
 
I let go, and Doctor Reg swung me around slowly. Nurse Gracie came into view and smiled. "Sure, and I'll even read you a story."
 
My stomach made noise.
 
"Hm, are you hungry Mary?"
 
I think so. I nodded.
 
"Right, after dinner then. I'll just carry you to the kitchen."
 
I held on as Doctor Reg moved, shifting me around. He moved to the kitchen and got my food, and a something else for himself - something that made a crunch noise and spread everywhere. Nurse Gracie took some of them too and got little bits of them on her clothes.
 
"Dirty," I told her. I remembered the grass.
 
"Right you are, Mary."
 
I finished my food but my stomach was still making noise. "More."
 
Doctor Reg smiled and got another; Nurse Gracie wasn't smiling though. "That's 'more, please' Mary. Use all the words, you aren't Fido."
 
"Here you go, Mary." Doctor Reg said, handing me more food. He even put the sip-thing (the straw, that was what it was) in for me.
 
Wait. "Randolph. Is Randolph alone?"
 
"Yes he is Mary," Nurse Gracie said. "But he's fine. There is no reason at all to worry about him and... Mary, wait!"
 
"Mary." Doctor Reg said sternly. (Sternly? What was that?) "Not until you finish your meal."
 
I finished quickly and carefully put it back on the table, looking at Doctor Reg. He smiled so I ran; Randolph might be in trouble! If the darkness had tried to get me again, it might have tried to get him when I wasn't there to help.
 
"Mary, wait up!" Nurse Gracie yelled behind me.
 
But I wouldn't.
 
"Go ahead Grace, I'll clean up here." I heard Doctor Reg tell her and I heard her shoes tap quickly after me.
 
I made it to Randolph's door first of course and remembered to knock - gently.
 
"Yes?" Randolf said from inside; the darkness didn't have him!
 
Nurse Gracie tried to grab me, but I moved and climbed onto Randolph's bed.
 
"Oh, hello Mary. Here for the reading I owe you?"
 
I was, so I nodded. 
 
"Sorry," Nurse Gracie said. Randolph made a gesture which I didn't know, a sort of wave. I repeated it, and Nurse Gracie smiled.
 
Then she frowned. "You, little miss, are not supposed to run down the halls. You could fall and hurt yourself.
 
"I'm sorry Nurse Gracie. But I had to make sure."
 
"That I wasn't asleep?" Randolph asked with a laugh. "Fat chance of that with all the excitement going on; you gave us quite a scare young lady."
 
What was a 'fat chance'? Was it different from another type of chance? I knew what a lady was, but what was young? What was a scare?
 
There was always more to know.
 
"Now, how would you like to hear me read some "Grendel"?
 
I nodded and fell over on the bed. It was soft.
 
"I guess that's a yes," Randolph said.
 
"Don't you think she's a little too... young for that?" Nurse Gracie asked.
 
"No, I don't, Randolph answered. "It's never too early for the classics."
 
"Perhaps not, but whether 'Grendel' is one of those classics is debatable."
 
"Please. That's like saying Salinger is bad."
 
I looked between them as they argued. They were talking about other I's, that was clear, but I didn't know them. Maybe I'd get to meet them some day... maybe even soon! I wonder if Doctor Reg will find them for me, or let me find them. To have this many other I's, there had to be more world out there to see.
 
I wondered how the other I's stayed away from the darkness; did they hug each other like we did? If not they should.
 
I opened my mouth to ask - but shut it with a clack as Randolph started to talk, his book held in front of him. He sounded completely different! More... more; it was weird and delightful. I rolled over to listen better.
 
Randolph told a story of an I who hated other I's. He hated them so much that he ate them. I didn't understand. Some of the words I did not understand.
 
"Grendel is wrong."
 
Randolph paused and looked over. "How so Mary?"
 
"Eating people is wrong."
 
"Yes, it is, Mary." Nurse Gracie said with a small smile.
 
I smiled back. "Where did the other I's go?" Grendel had them but they were not mentioned again.
 
"The other I's?" Randolph asked. 
 
"The ones Grendel ate. Where did they go?"
 
Nurse Gracie frowned and looked mad. Randolph held his hands up then turned to me. "That's 'other people', not other I's. They were dead, Mary. When Grendel ate them, it killed them."
 
"Dead?" What was dead?
 
Randolph stopped. "Dead is um...."
 
"The darkness Mary," Nurse Gracie said. "When Grendel ate them, they went into the darkness, and never came back."
 
That...!
 
"Mary, Mary, stop screaming, it's just a story!" Nurse Gracie cried, hugging me. The Randolph hugged us both and we fell over.
 
"I'm sorry Mary, I should have read something else after all."
 
No, Randolph hadn't done anything wrong, it was Grendel. "Grendel is mean."
 
Just eating all the I's - all the people and sending them to the darkness was wrong.
 
"Yes," Randolph agreed as he moved away, back to his pillows. I wanted a pillow. "Grendel is mean. He's a monster that delights in hurting people. But he's also sad, too."
 
I felt my face scrunch up and wondered why it did that. "Why?"
 
"Well, we'll just have to read on to find out. Do you think you can handle that Mary, or should we stop? If we continue you'll have to promise not to scream anymore; after all, it's just a book, and nothing in it can hurt you." Randolph held up the book and shook it.
 
"I don't like Grendel," I told Randolph. Grendel was a... I didn't know what he was, but I didn't like it. What had Randolph called him? A monster?
 
"I know." He said.
 
Nurse Gracie moved too, but stayed close, her hand on my head.
 
"Okay. I'm sorry and I promise not to scream anymore."
 
Randolph nodded. "Okay, I'll start again then."
 
He looked from his book to me and I nodded. He changed his voice again, and Grendel was running around crying and eating people again. At least until he started to drop his book and do the thing with his mouth. I didn't know what it was, but I should know what it was.
 
"Mary, don't imitate other people's yawns, it's not polite." Nurse Gracie said with her mouth stretched open the same way Randolph's had been. It made her sound different.
 
"Why?"
 
"Because it makes other people yawn. Are you tired?" 
 
I was not. "No."
 
"Well, Randolph and I are. So can we please get some sleep?"
 
I looked at Randolph and his eyes were closed, so I poked him. 
 
"I'm awake Mary, but I'd rather not be; it's four in the morning."
 
What did this four in the morning have to do with anything? I looked around for it, but I couldn't find it, and it was dark outside so it wasn't morning.
 
"Come on Mary, just go to bed already," Randolph said. The yawn made him sound funny too.
 
"But...."
 
"It's fine Mary. Sometimes we need to face the darkness for a time. Everyone needs to for little while each day. Even Grendel needed to."
 
That was true; Grendel had stayed in the darkness often. "But it could take you!"
 
"That's just the risk we run Mary."
 
Well, that was just stupid.
 
"Come on Mary, let's at least brush our teeth and do the other things we need to do each night. Then if you still want to we can all come back here and pile on Randolph's bed."
 
"Hey now, there's no way that's going to work. My bed isn't big enough for all three of us." Randolf said.
 
Randolph's bed was very big. I could roll around on it.
 
"It is now," Nurse Gracie said. "You'll just have to deal with it."
 
"Whatever, I'm too tired to argue," Randolph said.
 
"You should brush your teeth too," I told Randolph. After all, he didn't want to lose teeth, did he?
 
"I already have, Mary."
 
Oh.
 
Nurse Gracie grabbed my hand and we went to my room. "Get your pajamas. Oh and some underwear too. We can put off the shower until morning, but you need to wear clean clothes when you can."
 
I pointed at Nurse Gracie's uniform.
 
"Yes, I know, me too. let's get your teeth brushed and your clothes on before we worry about me, okay?"
 
That seemed okay to me. I nodded.
 
I undressed first. I remembered something... toothpaste made a mess? Nurse Gracie looked at me, shook her head, and handed me my toothbrush. 
 
"Try putting the paste on yourself? Just enough to cover the head."
 
Toothbrushes had heads too? But they didn't think, did they? I didn't want the toothbrush to think. What if it thought mean things about me? I put the toothbrush down and carefully held the toothpaste over it. 
 
"That's it, Mary. That's enough, good job."
 
I hadn't even done anything and the toothpaste had come out. That was... easy?
 
"Alright, now gently brush the bristles across your teeth, front and back. I'll time you, okay?"
 
I nodded. I think I did well, but Nurse Gracie had to move the toothbrush for me once. She smiled, so I guess I didn't do too bad. I remembered how it felt so I could do it myself next time.
 
"Alright, now spit - into the sink Mary, I'm on to your shenanigans - and rinse with the water."
 
I dutifully spit in the sink. I didn't do it the way Nurse Gracie did... her moisture looked the same as mine, but it flew out, and mine didn't.
 
"Rinsing is taking a mouthful of water like this, and spitting it back into the sink to clean the toothpaste out of your mouth, like this." Nurse Gracie continued, and she demonstrated. 
 
"You remember?" She asked after she was done. She even put a towel to her mouth.
 
I did, but I wanted to know what a shenanigan was. It was a funny sound, so it had to be something fun. I think that was how it worked. I grabbed Nurse Gracie's towel and put it to my mouth like she had; it dried everything when she grabbed it back and put it in my face harder.
 
"Silly kid. You have to get the corners. Oh, you think that's funny, do you?"
 
It was.
 
Nurse Gracie stopped and said. "Alright, enough of that. Put your pajamas on Mary, or Randolph will start without us."
 
Oh no! I hurried.
 
"Wait, stop a moment."
 
I stopped a moment, and was just about to start again when Nurse Gracie asked: "You don't have to go to the bathroom, do you?"
 
I thought a moment, then remembered what she was asking. "No?"
 
Nurse Gracie put a palm on her face. "Right, I'll just ignore that. Do me a favor... if you have to at some point and we're all still asleep, just come in here and do it, and then come back to bed, okay? I promise you we can be safe for a few minutes, alright?"
 
I nodded. If it made Nurse Gracie happy I would do it.
 
We went back to Randolph's room, and I went to bed. Randolph's eyes were closed, but they opened when I hugged him.
 
"Hello, Mary."
 
"Hello, Randolph."
 
"I'll be right back Mary. You got your pajamas on, and now it's my turn, okay? You keep Randolph company and I'll be back before you know it."
 
That was okay. Changing clothes was important; Nurse Gracie had told me so herself. I nodded.
 
"Gee, thanks, Grace." Randolph said.
 
Nurse Gracie went back out the door and I heard her walk off. Why did the sound lessen like that?
 
I could wonder about that later; Randolph had already closed his eyes again. I kept up my hug until Nurse Gracie returned with her pajamas on. Her pajamas were like mine, long and covered almost every body part. She got into the bed and I hugged her too.
 
"Thanks, Mary. Good night."
 
When Nurse Gracie closed her eyes, I did too. I listened to both Randolph and Nurse Gracie make noise through their mouths; neither were very loud, but Randolph was a bit louder. Wait, I was doing it too! It was... what was it... oh right. It was breathing air. We were all breathing.
 
And sound was carried in the air, that was why it could get softer....
 
I stayed in the darkness for a time, but I wasn't alone. I felt both of my friends with me, even if I couldn't see them. The darkness I could see was also not complete, there were things in it. A house which I had seen before... and a car that towered over me and screeched.
 
I woke to a noise. Both Randolph and Nurse Gracie were still next to me with their eyes still closed. I got up gently. The noise had movement to it; it got louder when I went in the direction of the window, so I went to the window and it stopped.
 
The noise was from a car. Not THE car, but a car. An I stepped out of it. "Sarah? Sarah?" She said. She looked all around on her way to the door, saying that word very loudly. Then she looked up and saw me.
 
"Sarah!"
 
I did not know that word, but she was looking at me, so I waved.