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After a very emotional few days, I'm sort of getting my head around things.
We spent most of Saturday looking for paperwork - I think we found all the necessary stuff. Afterwards I cooked dinner, sad in itself as mum so enjoyed me cooking for her, i've pretty much taken over family dinners this year.
Yesterday, Father's Day here in the UK, we took my dad out to North Yorkshire for the day. Mum loved the moors, the coast, as a family we've visited and holidayed there for over 55 years and mum's first visits were as a child during wwII. We stopped at Robin Hood's Bay for a while then had an emotional drive across the Moors to Pickering via Wheeldale, Mum's favourite drive.
Then we went on to my daughter in Leeds, mum doted on her. So anyway we talked, had something to eat, less avoiding the elephant than trying to keep upbeat. My son in law is a radio station exec and DJ on a national station, he entertained us with stories of interviews with the likes of Art Garfunkel and the like, what a world eh? So our little family were all together at least.
She would've been complaining about this weather, it reached over 30c yesterday and it's heading that way already today. This week is going to be difficult to say the least, banks, undertakers etc. I'm expecting we'll lay her to rest next week.
Writing is out of the question i'm afraid, I will try to get on the net to post a new Gaby chapter on Wednesday but no promises.
Once again I must thank everyone for their support.
Mads
Comments
don't even think about posting
Just take it easy and take your time.
No one here will be pressuring you to post anything. If they do, there are more then enough of your fans here to take care of them (joking but I hope you get the point).
Samantha
My thoughts are with you........
I lost my father last year. Unfortunately, we never really had a good relationship, and he was not a big part of my life. Because of that, I know his passing did not have the same impact on me that your mother's did for you, and as such I cannot feel what you do.
But I can say this - since his passing, my relationship with my mother has become much closer. My father was an obnoxious, abusive drunk. His actions and attitudes drove me from my family, and to be honest created huge rifts amongst all of us. Rifts which we will probably never fully repair. Yet I find myself remembering good times with him as time goes on. I'm not sure if this is me healing, or simply the effects of my mellowing with age. But either way, as I have always stated, those we love never really die as long as we keep them in our thoughts and in our hearts.
Apparently this is true for those we both loved, and hated for who and what they were.
It sounds as though you have some wonderful memories with which to keep your mother alive. Cherish them, and her, and she will always be with you.
D
D. Eden
Dum Vivimus, Vivamus
what SamathaMD said
the only posting any of us really want to see from you right now is this kind.
this lets us know that you are ok. to many of us have been in the same place you are right now.
all of our thoughts and prayers are with you and yours.
At this time
writing is the last thing you should be worrying about Maddy
that is not important in any way.
Take your time you are all still grieving over the passing of your Mum. You are surrounded by the love and support of your family and from many others on here and elsewhere.
SamanthaAnn
Understanding
What your going through is normal even if it is hard. As you go through things, you'll feel many things; happy, sad, anger and so forth. These are all perfectly normal and don't let others tell you you shouldn't feel this way. It's all part of grieving.
Things to remember. Breathe. As much as that sounds stupid, its not. People forget how hard it is when going through pain and when hard memories come take a breath, step back and try to relax.
Take care of those around you. Their going through the same thing as you, but may handle it differently. All of you are each others support group as you each know the other best and know how to help the other. If one is good at doing the cooking, let them if it makes them feel better. If another is a bit of a loner and just wants to go for a walk let them, but ask if they'd like company. You don't have to talk, but just be there for the other. The same goes with other necessities. Draw off the strength of each other. Don't press if they don't feel up to it now, maybe later they will.
But foremost, take care of yourself. Try to sleep, eat and so forth for you will wear yourself down blaming yourself for being soft when you will find it might be a most enduring feature.
Looking through memento's will be hard, but a necessity, if you find something worth laughing about do so, there should be no shame in bringing up fond memories. Even bad ones as well for that's what helped define the person. I just hope there was more good than bad.
But like I said, be there for each other for given time, the hurt will fade. It will never go away, and for some will be overshadowed by new memories. But there will be days that it all comes back. Accept it, do your best to press on and so forth.
Don't worry so much about your writing now. That's not the priority. Later it will be, but not at this moment.
Take care.
Thanks for keeping
us in mind, and sharing your days with us, I hope it helps to let us see life as it goes on - as it goes on for us too.
Teri Ann
"Reach for the sun."
My prayers are with you.
Take care of yourself and your family. We here all understand your need to grieve and all the work necessary to take care of final arrangements. It's good to give yourself a break and focus on real life.
Hugs
Patricia
Happiness is being all dressed up and HAVING some place to go.
Semper in femineo gerunt
Ich bin eine Mann
Family First
Take care of yourself and your family first!
"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin