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There comes a time when a person must be honest with themselves. One is that I'm Emotional Inhibited, thus it makes it hard to put much emotion in my stories except for the same ones over and over again in my writings. I find I have to pilferage others to get a feel of what I want, not even sure if its actually the one I want expressed.
Where did it start? Possibly from being sexually assaulted over the years way back when as a form of living? I'm not wanting to use that for the excuse.
Oh I can be quite the card when I want to not caring about my facial antics as I have done thoughout my life. I let myself be the clown as they say, but when it comes to really expressing myself I find it a hindrance. My sons see a lot of anger they says only to hear me reply I was thinking of something but not caring about how it showed on my face. I really wasn't angry just deep in thought so I guess a sneer or angry face is what comes out.
Lovey dovey scenes make me cringe as does overly used hate or whatever else comes to screen. I have to leave the room or cringe as I try to force myself to watch it. This doesn't apply to just bad movies but all types of movies, be they live, cartoon or cgi.
It's like a brain overload as it took me twice if not three times to just get through frozen as with inside out. That is unless I switch gears and view it where as an animator or director cutting out the emotion itself leaving me devoid of any form of emotion except as a critic. I actually saw Jaws and didn't react on any of the shark attacks as with Alien and when the sucker came to the screen.
I see it as a crutch holding me back on being a more effective writer.
Comments
The movie Driven
there is movie called Driven that has Sylvester Stallone and Burt Reynolds in it and there is a line in it that I've never forgotten. Reynolds looks to Stallone and says We are all damaged; yes. I've got my excuse. What's yours?
Now before anyone says that I'm being unsympathetic, keep in mind. I know damage. Physical, mental and emotional. I've had my share and inflicted some as well. We all have some aspect about us that makes us feel 'less than'. I ignore my own the best I can and focus on other aspects that I think is a better use of my time. It works for me. Find what works for you and do you're own thing. Best wishes to you.
quidquid sum ego, et omnia mea semper; Ego me.
alecia Snowfall
I prefer the term broken......
Over damaged. We are all broken in some way or another - some worse than others.
I have been severely broken through my life, but I slowly putting myself back together.
I am often reminded that many of the most beautiful things are created from broken material. Look at a mosaic for example. It's not that the material is broken that makes the difference, but rather how you put the pieces back together that matters.
Being broken is not the end of your life. As the saying goes, you have to break a few eggs to make an omelet.
D
D. Eden
Dum Vivimus, Vivamus
You sound as though your
You sound as though your emotions are out of control; they do whatever they choose which is usually not what you want them to do.
I feel you need to find someone you admire, who behaves in the way you would like to behave. Maybe it's a friend or relative; maybe even a character from TV or a book. In other words, a role model.
Once you have your role model, you need to continually think about how they would behave in the circumstances you find yourself in, and then do as they would do.
It will be difficult at first, but like anything, the more you work at it, the easier it gets.
Give it a try.
Male inhibitions
As males, we are trained to not show emotions. The freedom to more freely show emotions, is one of the main attractions of the feminine gender. In male personna, I have trouble getting in touch with my owm feelings. Female personna helps.
Based On How You Lashed Out At Me In the Bikini Beach Comments..
...And then blocked me when I tried to message you privately to discuss the matter, it seems that you do have a problem. As difficult as it may be to discuss your problems with somebody, I suggest finding a therapist, or a trusted friend or mentor whose advice you trust. I am currently in therapy, and while I was reluctant to start, it has done wonders for me.