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Synopsis
Jake is a thirteen year old boy who looks like a girl, far more so than is normal. He isn't aware that his appearance is anything other than natural though, and has assumed it'll change when he goes through puberty.

He is wrong, and thanks to the help of a girl from his class he is forced explore a side of him he's always hated, and ends up facing some unpleasant truths. Family isn't always to be trusted.

 

 

Chapter 2: Let's dance! Maybe?

‘Y-you what?’ I blinked, not sure I’d heard her right.

‘Pizza! Do you like it?’ she asked and stared intently at me with her opal eyes.

I blushed and quickly took in all her details, wondering if we actually had talked at some point in the past and I just hadn’t remembered. She was over a head taller than me and very slim, but not unhealthily so. Her school uniform looked great, clean and neat, and it perfectly accentuated her body. She’d folded the grey pleated skirt up at the top so it was shorter, well above her knees, and it seemed to highlight just how long her black-stockinged were. She was wearing our school’s black blazer and it looked to be fitted, as it was tight around her shoulders and chest, but flowed out a bit at the sides to show off her hips. Beyond that, she had a small silver chain with an engraved bird around her neck and a plain silver ring on her right hand, as well as the studs I’d noticed before.

She was…beautiful…

I’d definitely never talked to her before.

‘Jake?’ she asked and I jumped slightly, having forgotten that I was supposed to actually be talking to her. Gah!

‘Oh! Y-yeah, I like pizza.’ I rubbed my burning cheeks, hoping I didn’t look as embarrassed as I felt.

She put her hands on her hips and smiled down at me. ‘Well then, would you like to have some pizza with me and talk about some things?’

‘W-well, yes, but I was go-’

‘Perfect!’ She grinned and twirled around to face the buildings lining the street, her hair swinging around and almost smacking me in the face. ‘There’s a place just around the corner from here that I really like! Come on.’

‘Uh! W-wait!’ I stammered as she began to walk off, and to my relief she stopped and turned back to look at me, her head tilted curiously.

‘Hmm?’

‘What do you want to talk about?’

‘Oh, you know. Stuff.’ she said lightly, stepping out of the way of a tired-looking woman pushing a pram with a gurgling baby inside. ‘This isn’t really the best place to talk though so…’

‘What kind of stuff?’ I asked warily but she shook her head.

‘Nothing serious, don’t worry. I just…need your help with something.’ she smiled crookedly and smoothed the sides of her skirt.

I blinked, not sure I’d heard her correctly. ‘You need m-my help? Wit-’

‘I’ll explain later!’ She turned around and started walking off again. ‘Come one, I’m starving.’

‘I….can we just…’ I began but she kept walking so I trailed off, and after a moment’s hesitation decided to follow her, my curiosity getting the better of me.

What could she possibly want my help with? A school project? No, we didn’t have any due at the moment and even if we did she was much better off asking someone else. My grades weren’t bad but they weren’t good either, middling around a B-minus most of the time. And I couldn’t imagine she’d need my help with something physical because I was close to the weakest person in our class, something that was painfully highlighted during every sports period.

The only thing I was really good at was knowing a lot about animals, but I couldn’t imagine how that’d be helpful to her. And I’d be surprised that she even knew that about me considering how little contact I had with the rest of my classmates.

I slowed down and tried to remember as much about her as I could, hoping I could get a clue as to what she wanted. She usually sat at the front of class by herself and didn’t talk much unless she was directly asked a question. I think she was kind of like me, someone who kept to themselves and didn’t really have any friends. I’d never seen her sit with any of the other students, and at lunch I think she just hung out in the library. I’d seen her in there a few times, going through the magazine rack and photocopying stuff. I’d never looked closely enough to see what she what magazines she read though, and w-oh!

Lilah! That was her name! She was always the last to be called when our home room teacher took attendance, because her surname was…Yates. Lilah Yates! I actually remembered it! Hah!

It didn’t help me figure out what she wanted, but it made me feel a lot better. I’d felt pretty bad about not knowing her name when she knew mine, especially when we’d been in the same class for two years. I really needed to start paying more attention to what went on around me…
I realised I’d been trailing too far behind her and quickened my pace, worried that I might lose her in the crowd. Thankfully she’d stopped at the end of the street for me, and after ducking between two older students from our school I finally reached her. She smiled and then turned around to point up the next street.

‘That’s it! Hearth’s Pizzeria. Pretty cool, huh?’

I followed her finger and saw that the pizzeria was a large two-storey establishment made out of shiny black metal, and it had a large glass sliding door at the front that a family was currently exiting. The logo “Hearth Family Pizzeria” was proudly displayed above the door in large red lettering with silver lining, and a sizable parking lot was set out the front. A neat row of bushes grew around the area and hugged the sides of the building, and a small wine garden was visible just down the right side.

I couldn’t remember the last time I’d eaten in a restaurant and anxiety began to gnaw at me, so I stuck close to Lilah as she crossed the road and passed through the parking lot. As we got closer the delicious scent of cheese mixed with baked dough and tomatoes wafted out to greet us, and my stomach let out a desperate growl. God, I was so hungry…

We waited outside the door as another family left, this one with two excited toddles running around and laughing at each other, and then we entered. A black reception area greeted us and a solitary young waiter was standing behind a small desk, dressed in a neat blue shirt and black pants. A large opening next to him showed the interior of the restaurant and it was amazing, full of thick, large wooden tables neatly arranged in tight rows across the black floor. Along the sides and back were smaller tables with walls separating them from each other, and the kitchen was on full display to the right. Nearly half of the tables were occupied and wait staff were rushing around taking orders and delivering delicious-looking meals.

The air was thick with the warm scent of pizza and I could smell lasagne too, making my stomach let out another desperate growl. When had been the last time I’d eaten? Yesterday? No, Aunt Linda had banned me from eating yesterday as a punishment for forgetting to take my medication the day before. That’d been Thursday, and on Wednesday I hadn’t eaten anything because I wasn’t feeling too well for some reason, which is why I’d forgotten to take my meds, and on Tuesday I’d been punished with no food because I’d refused to wear the new pyjamas Aunt Linda had bought for me.

…wow. I hadn’t realised it’d been so long. I was used to not eating for long periods of time, so much so that I barely even noticed it anymore. But here, basking in the multitude of different delicious scents, I noticed it. Intensely so.

‘Hello!’ the waiter at the reception area said as we approached and his pale eyes focused on Lilah. ‘How can I help you today?'

‘Can we get a table for two? In one of the booths at the back?’ she asked and he nodded.

‘Yes. Follow me please.’

He headed out into the dining area and we followed, Lilah smiling brightly at me as we did so. I smiled awkwardly back and scratched my chest, still feeling out of place and uncomfortable. My hunger was taking up most of my mental space though and I looked around at other people’s meals eagerly, wondering what I should get. I had fifty dollars to spend since I didn’t manage to get a new figurine, more than enough for me to be able to buy something delicious to eat. Maybe I’d get a large pizza. A Hawaiian one. No! A Meatlovers WITH pineapple! That was like an enhanced Hawaiian pizza! Yeah-wait! What about a lasagne? They looked super yummy, dripping with cheese an-ah! I should get extra cheese on my pizza! Could I get a pizza and a lasagne too? Could you get a lasagne with extra cheese? Maybe I could get spaghetti-

‘Here we are.’ The waiter said, dragging me out of my food fantasies. He’d stopped in front of one of the boots along the back wall, and there weren’t many other customers near here so it was much quieter.

Lilah slipped onto one of the red cushioned bench-seats and I sat opposite her. I looked down at the wooden table and saw that it had few cuts and scratches on it but was very clean besides that, so much so that it was almost shining. The booth’s walls were jet black like the back wall, and I felt quite secure and comfortable in here. I looked at Lilah and she smiled brightly again, then looked at the waiter as he was taking out his order pad.

‘Can we get two large cokes please?’ she asked and he nodded, scribbling it down. ‘And a large margherita as well? Is that all okay with you Jake?’

‘Um, well I wa-’

‘Thankyou!’ Lilah beamed to the waiter and he nodded, then headed towards the kitchen.

I stared glumly after him and then down at my lap. I…I guess a margherita was okay…I didn’t really need a Meatlovers with pineapple anyway…

‘So…’ Lilah said slowly and I looked up at her. ‘You totally snubbed me in Imaginative Dice before, you know.’

‘Ah!’ I turned bright red and looked down at my lap again. ‘I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to, I just…I’m not…not good at…people stuff.’

‘Talking to people? Yeah, I noticed.’ She leant forward with a grin, brushing her hair behind her ears. ‘So I won’t drag this out any more than I have to then. I need your help.’

‘With what?’ I asked when she didn’t elaborate, and she took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

‘Okay! So…I was going to enter this competition with a…friend…but we…she…well, we were having some problems so…’ She trailed off and for a moment anger flashed across her face, but then she sighed and looked back at me with a wry smile. ‘Sorry. I’m…annoyed. Ah… but, basically, I was going to enter a competition with my girlfriend but she dumped me so I need you to do it with me in her place. Okay?’

‘I…’ I stared at her dumbly, too many questions bubbling up in my mind. She was a lesbian? I guess that explained why she was always by herself at school. My classmates weren’t very…friendly…to LGBT people. I was bullied weekly because of my appearance and I wasn’t even gay. I couldn’t imagine how bad it must be for someone who actually was…

It didn’t seem like a good idea to ask her about that though, or why she’d been dumped. This was the first time we’d ever talked after all, so asking something that personal didn’t feel right.

‘Umm…what competition?’ I asked instead, scratching at my chest.

‘This one.’ She slowly pulled out a folded piece of paper from her skirt and carefully opened it, then slid it over to me. ‘I’ve seen you in the library heaps of times so you might have seen it before, but if not then…yeah.’

I looked down at the sheet and saw that it was indeed a poster advertising a competition, but I’d never seen it before. It was very professional, with a black backing, silver border and an artistic headline that immediately grabbed my attention.

It read:
"
Models, musicians, artists and dancers wanted!

Submissions are now open for the third annual TRASK Gay and Lesbian Drama and Art Festival!
Are you a gay or lesbian student (or trans? All LGBTIQ individuals welcome!) aged thirteen to eighteen? Do you have a talent for the visual or performing arts? Are you in a relationship with someone of the same sex? Can you sing or play an instrument?
Do you want to have the chance to win up to six thousand dollars?
If so then we want YOU! Due the overwhelming success of our first two events we’re taking things to the next level, and have hired the entirety of the Dermain town hall for three whole days to fit in the hundreds of people w-

"

‘I need you to enter the Dance and Modelling competitions with me.’ Lilah said before I could finish, her eyes shining with excitement. ‘You have to have a partner to take part in them and because I’m…single now…I thought you could do them with me.’

I looked at her for a moment and then pushed the poster over to her, trying not to get annoyed. I was so sick of people thinking that I was gay. ‘I-I’m sorry, but…I’m not g-’

‘I know! And it wouldn’t matter if you were, cos the partners have to be same-sex!’ Lilah beamed.
‘Ohh.’ I blinked. ‘Wait, what?’

‘Uhm!’ she grinned widely and scratched the back of her head. ‘I need you to be my partner. My…lesbian partner.’

I tilted my head, starting to get angry. ‘What.’

‘Aha.’ She laughed uncomfortably and looked down at the table. ‘Well, you see…I don’t get along with any of the girls in our year level, and outside of school I don’t really have any friends. The few that I do are pissed at me because…well, because of stuff that’s not important. So, you’re the only person wh-’

‘I’m a boy.’ I said flatly.

‘I know.’ She said quickly. ‘But, you look like a girl so…’

She trailed off as I glared at her. ‘I don’t like looking like a girl, and you’ve been in the same class as me long enough to know that! You’ve seen how upset I get when people like Jared and Warwick tease me!’

‘I know! I know!’ she said and held up her hands. ‘But I’m not trying to make fun of you! I just need your help! If there was anyone else to ask I would, but there’s not. Please do this with me!’

I crossed my arms, my breathing heavier than normal. Was she serious?! I wasn’t going to embarrass myself in front of hundreds of people! There was no way I could enter a competition as a girl, I’d be found out immediately! I might look like a girl but I didn’t know how to act like one, and besides…compared to Lilah I wasn’t all that attractive, especially with my glasses. I definitely wouldn’t win any modelling competitions, or dancing ones. I had no idea how to dance and even if I did I was about as elegant as a platypus on ice.

That was beside the point though! There was no way I was going to enter the competition, even if I could win. I’d be bullied for the rest of my school life and mum would…

She’d…I don’t know. She used to model a bit, but when she’d moved to America she said she was going to focus more on waitressing and model on the side. I had no idea what she was doing now though, as we hadn’t really talked in years. She’d emailed me last year wishing me a happy birthday, a few weeks after my birthday, and that had been the last I’d heard from her. I’d sent her a few emails but she never replied, and when I tried to call her I always got her voice message.

I…don’t think she cared about me anymore, so I doubt she’d care if I entered a modelling competition, even as a girl.

If she did care then she’d have come back home six years ago like she’d promised instead of moving permanently to America! Sh-

No, I didn’t want to think about that! I loved mum, and she…probably liked me. She was just busy, and she’d come home one day. It was okay! I shouldn’t bother her while she was….doing whatever it was she was doing.

And I don’t even want to think about what Aunt Linda would say. She’d be so…frustratingly happy…

‘No.’ I said finally, feeling utterly miserable.

Lilah began to protest but the waiter came back holding two large glasses of coke. He put them down between us and smiled hesitantly before quickly leaving, seeming to sense the mood. My stomach ached for the taste of the coke and I gave it what it wanted, but all it did was make me even hungrier.

‘Jake.’ Lilah said desperately after taking a sip from her own coke. ‘There will hardly be anyone from our school at the event, and one of my friends is going to handle all of the clothes and make-up for us. She’s really good! The few people from our school who’ll be there probably won’t even recognize you.’

‘No.’ I repeated and she gritted her teeth.

‘What about the prize money then? If we come first in the dancing competition we’ll get a thousand each, and two thousand each for the modelling one! And it’s like five hundred for second place and two hundred for third, something like that.’

I twitched at that. I could get a LOT of animal figurines with that kind of money…

But at the cost of my dignity.

‘No.’

‘What! Come on! Why not?’

‘Because I’m a boy!’ I scowled at her. ‘I can’t win a girls modelling completion! Are you insane? I look horrible!’

Lilah’s eyes widened. ‘No you don’t! If you put on some make-up, removed your glasses and got your hair done you’d look amazing! Here!’
She reached out to grab my glasses but I slapped her hands away. ‘Stop it! It wouldn’t matter how good I looked, I’m not going to be a model like mum! I’m a b-’

‘What was that?’ Lilah asked sharply, her eyes widening. ‘Your mum’s a model?’

‘Y-yeah, she is, but I don’t want to talk about it. It’s not important.’

‘Holy shit!’ Lilah’s whole face lit up and she grabbed a small diary from her inside blazer pocket, then flicked through it. ‘This is your mum, isn’t it! Oh my god! Your mum’s Elaine Reitz!’

She put the diary down between us and my heart jolted painfully as I saw a picture of mum, neatly cut out from a magazine, smiling up at me from the diary page. She was wearing a beautiful black dress and was standing in front of a red silk background, her hands on her hips and looking amazing. Mum and I slightly resembled each other, but her complexion was less pale and she was far more beautiful than I’d ever be. Because she was actually a girl whereas I was…me.

‘Where did you get this?’ I asked softly, taking the diary staring at the picture. I’d never seen this before! It looked so professional and important! Where was she? I thought she was only doing modelling on the side! When had this picture been taken then?

‘I cut it out of an old magazine at school.’ Lilah said, reaching over to flip the diary to a different page, where another picture of mum was. Two pictures actually, one on each page. These were photocopied in full colour, but looked a bit dull compared to the other ones.

‘W-what?’ I stammered, feeling dizzy as I stared at mum waving at me from a beach in a sheer red bikini. I didn’t even have a photo of mum at home, but Lilah had three!? What the hell. ‘I don’t understand…’

‘You didn’t know?’ Lilah asked in surprise. ‘She lives in America, right? I guess you don’t talk to her very often?’

‘No…’ I muttered, flicking to another page to find another picture of mum. And another. And another! ‘Why do you have so many picture of mum?’

‘Because she’s my idol!’ Lilah exclaimed, practically shaking with excitement. ‘Look how beautiful she is! I’ve never, ever seen someone as amazing as her before! Her body is perfect, and she’s never had surgery! She’s completely natural! And her face! Oh my god Jake! I can’t believe I didn’t realise you were her son sooner! The whole reason I asked you to be my partner is because you look like her! I should have known you were her kid, but it’s those stupid glasses of yours! They make you look all weird and geeky.’

I ignored the insult to my glasses and flicked through the diary even more. ‘How long has she been modelling for?’

‘Six years.’ Lilah said proudly. ‘She got her first break when she sent in a bunch of shots to the…’

I drowned her out as that sunk in. Six years…mum had been modelling for six years, having all these amazing photos taken and not once did she mention it to me. Why not? Did she just think I wouldn’t care? Or was she the one who didn’t care, didn’t think it was worth mentioning to me? Why…

Oh my god.

Mum might actually be interested in me modelling. If I told her that I was entering a modelling competition then would she talk to me? Would she be excited about it? Would she…

Would she come to the festival?

‘Is mum still modelling?’ I asked, interrupting Lilah.

‘Yes! Look at this picture!’ she opened a page of the dairy at the back and showed me a picture of mum. She was dressed in some…uh…very attractive pieces of lingerie with some stockings and was lying on a bed underneath the words “Essence of Purity”. ‘That was taken three months ago and it’s in heaps of magazines, and I’ve even seen it online! She’s the face of Essence of Purity, ever since she modeled for them last year. They’re this really fancy clothes store that h-’

‘I don’t know much about modelling.’ I said, once again cutting off Lilah. ‘What kind of stuff would I have to do for the competition? Do we get photos done beforehand and they’re shown off during the event? Or…what? And what about dancing? I can’t dance, but I can learn.’

Lilah’s eyes lit up.

I listened intently as she explained the modelling competition to me, her whole body animated with excitement. It was officially known as “Romance in Youth” and was fairly simple. Each pair of contestants needed to submit five professionally shot photographs of themselves, four themed and one in their school uniforms. These would then be displayed in a large hall at the festival and visitors would vote on which ones they thought were the best, and on the final day the winners would be revealed. A professional photographer was available free of charge for contestants to use, but Lilah had a friend who was going to take our photos for us over the next couple of weeks.

She was less enthusiastic about the dance competition though, as now that she’d broken up with her ex she was thinking of ditching it entirely. That was completely fine with me as I was only interested in the modelling competition. The idea of dancing as a girl in front of hundreds of people made me feel ill and I wasn’t sure that I could even actually do it. Standing in front of a camera and having my picture taken sounded far more my style.

The festival as a whole seemed to be far more lavish and elaborate than I’d have expected, especially with the prize money for the competitions being as high as they were. It was going to be held near the heart of the city in a gigantic town hall that was usual reserved for religious celebrations, public holiday events and cultural festivals. All senior schools in the region were able to attend, but only LGBT students were allowed to enter the competitions. This was apparently because the man who created it, Trask, wanted to celebrate LGBT students and give them a place where they could show off their work and not have to worry about being discriminated against.

‘He created it after a gay couple’s media teacher banned them from making a movie about their relationship, and the school sided with the teacher.’ Lilah explained to me as I nibbled at the surprisingly tasty margherita pizza. ‘And then there was this other incident about a trans girl who wasn’t allowed to join her school’s ballerina class because they didn’t accept her as a girl, that really pissed him off. Then there was this…well…you get the point.’ She finished with a grimace, rubbing her cheeks. ‘Some schools suck and Trask made the festival to give the students a chance to show off what their schools wouldn’t let them.’

‘Fair enough.’ I shifted guiltily on the seat and put down my pizza slice. ‘Is it really okay for me to be entering these competitions then? I’m no-’

‘Oh, don’t worry about that. You’re helping me and I’m a lesbian so it’s all good.’ Lilah said dismissively. ‘Anyway, I wanted to ask, who do you live with now? Your dad? Your grandparents?’

‘No, I stay with my aunt at her place. Or, well, she’s not really my aunt, she’s just mum’s best friend, but I’ve always called her Aunt Linda. Why?’

Lilah looked at me hopefully. ‘Do you see your mum at all then? Like, if you’re living with her best friend then maybe she comes and visits sometimes? Or you go and visit her?’

‘Oh. No, I haven’t even seen her since I was six.’ I said, my voice tightening. ‘Aunt Linda and I saw her off at the airport and I never saw her again. We used to talk through emails and she called sometimes but now…not so much.’

‘Aww crap. I thought so.’ Lilah said miserably, slumping down onto the table. ‘She’d never once mentioned having a son in all of her interviews, and I know she’s not married so I’d assumed she’d cut you out of her life. That sucks! It’d have been so cool if I was able to meet her through you. ’

I sunk in on myself. ‘W-well, she might come to the festival to see my photos, when I tell her about them. That’s the only reason why I’m entering, honestly. To try and get her attention.’

‘Ohh! So that’s why you suddenly changed your mind about entering! I wondered.’ She grinned up at me from the table. ‘I’d just assumed that when you saw how hot she was you got jealous and wanted to look like her too.’

‘What! No.’ I flushed bright red, knowing that she was teasing me but still getting flustered. ‘And even if that was true it wouldn’t matter. I’ll never look like her.’

‘Would you want to? If you could?’ Lilah asked and tapped her little notebook full of pictures of mum, which was next to her glass of coke. ‘Like I said before, if you got rid of your glasses and took care of your hair then I think you’d almost look like a younger version of her.’

‘Really?’ For some reason a strange, cold feeling ran through my stomach.

‘Yeah!’ Lilah said excitedly and opened the notebook again, flicking through it and holding up a picture I hadn’t seen before, of mum dressed in a business suit with her hair tied back in a loose ponytail. ‘Look at her face here. You’ve both got really petite facial features and high cheekbones. And your eyes are just like hers! They’re lush and dark and big and doll-like! It’s so fucking hot! And her boobs! If you ke-’ She stopped herself with a start and turned bright red. ‘Uh…I…well, you look like her already, is the p-point of what I’m saying.’

‘Yeah. I guess I do.’ I said uncomfortably, avoiding her gaze. I’d never once thought about mums boobs before and didn’t want to start now.

‘You’re like her little sister or something.’ Lilah said quietly and I felt her eyes running over me. ‘I can’t wait to see you dressed up tomorrow. We-’

‘What? Tomorrow?’ I gasped and she nodded.

‘Yeah. I already paid my friend for our shots, back when Rebecca and I were dating.’ Her expression darkened again and she began tearing apart a half-eaten slice of pizza. ‘She’s rented out that photography studio behind the mall for us, and she’s paid the deposit so we can’t change it.’

‘Studio?’ I’d assumed we’d be getting our photos done at Lilah’s place, or her friends.

‘Yeah. I don’t remember what it’s called, but it’s this huge place with a ton of different sets that you can hire, and they have professional lighting and stuff. I don’t know much about photography but it’s supposed to be awesome.’ Lilah frowned at me. ‘You’re not busy tomorrow, are you? Because this is really important!’

‘I’m free, but…’ I frowned and trailed off. Aunt Linda didn’t like me leaving the house during non-school hours without her, especially on such short notice. And she’d been pretty mad at me lately for forgetting my medication and not wearing those stupid pyjamas she’d bought me. I was going to have to put her in a good mood, and that was going to be…complicated.

Urgh. My life had become so messy in the last couple of hours.

‘But what?’ Lilah asked but I shook my head.

‘It’ll be fine. What time is the…the photo-taking?’

‘The shoot.’ Lilah corrected me with an amused grin. ‘I was thinking we could meet in front of the library at quarter to twelve, so I can walk with you to the studio so you don’t get lost.’

‘Oh!’ I perked up at that. I could use the library computers to email mum and let her know about the modelling competition! I’d been thinking I could try and call her but I hadn’t had much hope of her answering, and I didn’t think I was capable of leaving a very coherent voice message. Emailing her would be much easier! ‘Okay. I can do that.’

Lilah nodded and rubbed her chin thoughtfully. ‘Good! Then, I think that’s everything for the moment. Do you have any questions?’

I thought about that for a second. ‘Do I need to do anything to prepare for tomorrow?’

‘Yes! Wash your hair.’ She said eagerly. ‘And don’t wear your glasses! They’re horrible. Do you have contacts?’

‘I do, but I’d ra-’

‘Good. Wear them.’ Lilah nodded to herself. ‘And don’t worry about clothing, I’ve got something in mind that’ll look great on you. We’re going to do the formal theme tomorrow and I have a ton of good dresses.’

‘Formal theme? What does that mean? Like suits and stuff?’

‘Yeah, like, gowns, evening and designer dresses, that kind of stuff.’ Lilah said, her eyes shining excitedly.

‘I have to wear a gown?’ I asked as my stomach jolted. I knew I’d be wearing girl’s clothes, but I didn’t think I’d have to wear ones so fancy.

‘Of course! A suit would be wasted on someone as cute as you.’ Lilah softened her voice and looked at me for a moment before continuing. ‘I’ve got the perfect dress for you, Jake. You’re going to be beautiful tomorrow.’

I squirmed about on my seat and rubbed my burning cheeks, my heart beating faster than normal. I couldn’t explain why but hearing her say that I was going to be beautiful tomorrow made me feel really weird, and not in a bad way.

‘Do you have any other questions?’ Lilah asked and I shook my head, not wanting to look at her in case she could see how hot my face was. ‘Okay! We should get going then before it gets dark. I’ll pay for the meal so don’t worry.’

‘Oh! I can pay too!’

‘No! You were my guest today so I’ll pay.’ she said firmly. ‘And besides, I ate most of the pizza anyway. You barely ate anything.’

‘Ah…yeah.’ I grimaced. I’d only managed to eat one and a half slices of pizza before getting full, something that always seemed to happen. When I was hungry I became ravenous and wanted to eat gigantic serves of food, but when I actually started eating I got full almost immediately. I hadn’t even finished my glass of coke, only drinking about three quarters of it.

I followed Lilah through the increasingly busy restaurant and watched as she paid for our meal, noticing that she had a lot of fifty dollar notes in her grey purse. I’d kind of suspected that she was well off but it was still a surprise to see her holding that much money. Aunt Linda gave me twenty-five dollars a week and I was well aware that I was lucky to get even that, as some kids didn’t get an allowance at all.

I was tempted to ask Lilah about her money but that seemed wildly inappropriate given that today was the first time that we’d ever actually talked, so I kept my mouth shut and followed outside through the sliding glass doors. A cold gust of wind greeted us and I quickly rubbed my arms, wishing that I’d worn a long-sleeved singlet under my school shirt.

‘Right.’ Lilah said as the doors closed behind us, pulling a phone from her skirt. ‘Do you need a lift home or anything? I’m going to call my sister and get her to pick me up.’

‘No, I’m okay. It’s only a fifteen minute walk home from here.’

She nodded and then to my surprise she leant down and hugged me, resting her head next to mine and squeezing my shoulders. ‘Thankyou so much for agreeing to this Jake. You’re helping me out more than you know.’

‘T-that’s yes! Okay! T-thanks!’ I stammered and awkwardly grabbed her arms, my brain freaking out. I’d never been hugged by anyone other than mum or Aunt Linda before! Agh!

Lilah was so soft…

I was intensely aware of her cheek squashing against me, of her silky hair brushing against my forehead and her arms around my shoulders. She smelt like flowers, like a garden that was in full bloom, but sharper. Nicer.

My entire body was entranced by her, by the soft warmth coming off of her body, and I wondered what I felt like to her. Was I soft and warm too? And what did I smell like? I had no idea. Maybe I should start wearing some kind of deodorant? I’d never thought about it before but she smelt so nice that I wanted to smell like that too. Like a garden, or a ros-

Wait! No! That wasn’t manly. I needed to smell like a…a…car? Or a gun? Is that what men smelt like? Is it weird that I didn’t know? There weren’t many men in my life, now that I thought about it. I’d never met my dad due to him serving out a life sentence in prison and Aunt Linda didn’t have male friends. I didn’t have any friends at school, male or female, and I’d never grown close to any of the teachers.

I needed to make friends with a man. And then sniff him!

Actually, that sounded kinda creepy…maybe I wouldn’t do that…

Lilah broke off the hug and I blinked up at her, having gotten completely lost in my weird thoughts about man scents.

‘I think I like you, Jake. I’m looking forward to tomorrow.’ she said softly and rubbed my head, sending small sparks of warmth down my back. My head was ridiculously sensitive and I let out a reflective giggle, my face burning. ‘Ooh! You like that, huh?’

‘N-no!’ I stepped away from her and rubbed the spot that she’d been patting.

‘Liar.’ She smiled crookedly and brushed her hair behind her ears, but thankfully didn’t try to touch me again. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow, okay? Don’t be late!’

‘I won’t!’ I nodded confidentially. ‘Goodbye!’

‘Bye!’

We waved at each other and then I left the parking lot, my head a mess of confusing emotions.

She was a lesbian, so I doubted that when she said she liked me she meant it in that kind of way, but…I looked like a girl so maybe?

Was that a good thing? Did I want her to like me? I think I liked her. Or, her appearance at least. I wasn’t really sure about her personality yet. She seemed nice, but she’d only talked to me because she needed help. I can’t imagine she’d have any reason to talk to me if she and her girlfriend hadn’t broken up, and if she never realised I was mum’s child.

Still…

I kind of hoped she hug me again tomorrow.