Truth's Purity

Synopsis: Anna is collared and remembers some confusing moments from her past.

Chapter 8: Collared

The choice to lose myself in the pleasure was made easier by Laine suddenly grabbing my sides and squeezing them like she had before. I gasped and grabbed her arms, then let out a pleased sigh as she began running her hands over the dress, pushing down onto my skin underneath. I tried to clear my head but she pushed down harder with her hands, then ran them down my back and rested them just above the curve of my spine.

‘You feel amazing.’ she said and pulled me into her. I put up my arms so I wouldn’t squash against her stomach and ended up grabbing onto it instead, blushing and staring up at her. She smiled and then gently moved her hands down onto my butt, giving it a little squeeze that somehow felt good despite the pain from before still being present. I whimpered as she squeezed harder, a part of me enjoying her touching me while I was up against her like this, feeling the warmth of her stomach against my face and arms. I didn’t have time to analyse that thought though as she kept sending waves of pleasure through my body with her hands, breaking my concentration.

Tegan knelt down and put a pair of knee-high white socks on my feet, all while I was still holding onto Laine as she explored my body in the dress. I felt bad ignoring her but it was hard to focus on anything other than the warmth Laine was creating inside of me.

‘Do you want to collar her now?’ Tegan asked once she’d put the socks on and Laine nodded.

‘Collar me?’ I asked as Laine let me go, somewhat reluctantly. I was feeling very hot and brushed my hands through my hair. I wanted her to touch me again.

‘Every pet needs a collar.’ Laine said, kissing me gently on the forehead and taking the briefcase from Laine. I looked at the collar around Tegan’s neck and my stomach sank.

Oh.

‘I don’t…’ I began but stopped, realising that there was no point in saying that I didn’t want to wear one.

‘You’re learning fast.’ Laine grinned when I stopped myself from talking. She put the briefcase onto the makeup desk and opened it with a metallic clink. I walked over and she stood to the side to let me see in. There were an array of fine steel chains hanging from hooks embedded in the back of the top section, but my attention was drawn to the lower section where five collars lay, fitted into a soft black velvety backing.

Laine picked up the largest one and showed it to me. It was similar to the one Tegan wore, black with a silver plate in the middle, but it said “Anna: Girl in training. Property of Laine.” in a neat, black curved font. The metal ends of the collar were designed to fit into each other kind of like a seat belt, but much smoother. When they were connected they’d just look like a small metal bar and a horrible feeling ran through me. There didn’t look like there was a way to unclip them once they were connected.
There was also a silver hoop directly underneath the name plate, connected to the collar by another small hoop that was set into a silver circle.

‘Cute, right?’ Laine said with a smile that reached her eyes. ‘Tegan, could you hold her hair up so I can put it on?’

‘U-uhm!’ I stammered as Tegan did so, leaving my neck exposed. Fear was suddenly clawing at my stomach. Something about the collar terrified me. Laine didn’t own me, I wasn’t her pet or her toy or doll or whatever! But having her put a collar around me that claimed that she owned me made all of that seem much harder to deny.

And my name…it wasn’t Anna. I didn’t want to have that around my neck, telling everyone who saw me that that was my name. A girls name. A girl in training…

I tried to back away from Laine but Tegan held me steady. ‘Can you ju-’

‘Now, I was going to put this on you yesterday but I didn’t have the time.’ Laine spoke over me. ‘I assume that the importance of being collared by me is fairly obvious though, so I won’t insult you by going into too much detail. But just know that this is a symbol of my ownership of you, a reminder to you and everyone who sees you that your body belongs to me. You are mine, my pet, my-’

‘I’m not your pet! You don’t own me!’

Her lips twitched. ‘You are mine, Anna. And nothing you say will change that. Now, hold still.’

I did not hold still and instead renewed my struggle to break free of Tegan’s hold. ‘I’m not yours! You can say whatever you want but you don’t own me! And my names not Anna! It’s Dav-’

I screamed as Tegan clutched my hair and jerked my head back. ‘What did I say about saying that name?’

‘Shut up! My name’s Da-’

‘Anna.’ Laine said savagely and grabbed my neck. ‘Your name is Anna. See? It says so on this collar. Anna: Girl in training.’ I squeaked and stared at her with wide eyes, but couldn’t form words with her hand on my neck. ‘Now, keep her steady. I’m putting it on now.’

She let go of my neck and I immediately tried to tell her to stop, but she slammed the front of the collar against my throat and my words ended in a pained whimper. She wrapped the collar around my neck and it closed with a loud click, one that echoed through my body.

Laine stepped away as Tegan let go of my hair, and I dropped to the ground. I immediately clutched at the collar and began pulling at it, desperately trying to get it off. It fit perfectly around my neck, with just over a fingers width space between it and my skin, and its insides were a soft, smooth kind of velvet.

Oh god.

‘It’s not going to come off.’ Laine said, kneeling down and smiling down at me. I was distinctly aware of how much taller she was than me, even when kneeling. ‘The metal clips can’t be undone and the leather’s strong enough that it’ll take more than just a simple pair of scissors to even put a dent into it.’

‘This’ll be on me forever?’ I asked in horror and began renewing my efforts to tear it off. It didn’t help that only one of my hands was working right. Every time I spoke the collar rubbed gently against my throat, making me constantly aware of it.

‘Of course not.’ Laine smiled and grabbed my wrists. ‘When our training’s done and you’re truly mine, not just in body but in heart and soul as well, you’ll get a collar like Tegan’s.’

I glanced up at Tegan, who had picked up a silver hairbrush from the desk and was kneeling down next to us. She touched her collar and looked at me without saying anything, her eyes serious.

‘What do you mean, heart and soul as well?’ I asked, slightly disquieted by Tegan’s eyes.

‘When you accept me as your master, your soul will belong to me. And when you love me as much as I love you then your heart will belong to me.’ Laine said and I blinked. Was she serious. Was she serious?

‘Love?’ I asked and a laugh burst out of me, cold and bitter. ‘Love? I’d never love you. I never even loved my parents, who-’

I froze, remembering what I’d just realised in the shower with Tegan, about her being nicer to me than my parents had ever been. Obviously I’d never loved them, saying that I never had meant nothing in this kind of conversation.

Something cold and sad pooled inside my stomach, but I grimaced and ignored it. God. I did not need to deal with my depression at the moment.

‘Are you okay?’ Laine asked with a smile that suggested she knew what I’d been thinking.

‘I-I’m fine.’ I said and then winced in pain as Tegan began brushing my hair, dragging out some of the knots that having a shower had created.

‘You’re so cute when you lie.’ Laine leant closer. ‘Your cheeks turn red and you bite your lips, like you’re embarrassed by it. You’re such a sensitive little thing, aren’t you?’

I stared at her guiltily. Did I really act like that when I lied?

She went back to the briefcase and came back with the two other collars, which were just smaller versions of the one around my neck minus the nameplate. I’d completely forgotten about them.

They had hoops on them too, ones with small silver chains hanging off of them. One ended in a small hoop and the other in a clip.

‘Hold out your hands.’ Laine commanded me and I swallowed nervously.

‘You need to collar my hands too?’

‘These aren’t collars. They’re cuffs.’ she explained. ‘They are another symbol of ownership, like your collar, but they’re primarily going to be used to keep you from moving around when I need you to stay still.’

‘Like handcuffs?’ I asked nervously.

‘Yes!’ she beamed and my stomach clenched. ‘Like handcuffs.’

‘Are these going to be on me forever too?’ I grabbed the collar around my neck and gave it a frustrated tug.

‘I told you, you’re not going to be wearing that forever. When you’re ready you’ll get a collar like Tegan, and you won’t need these cuffs anymore so they’ll be removed. Now hold out your hands.’

‘I…’

‘Don’t make me ask you again.’ She said softly and a chill ran down my back. I slowly held put my hands and she clipped the cuffs onto them. ‘There we go. Good girl.’

I pulled at the cuffs, which had the same insides as the collar, and were also perfectly sized. They jingled due to the chains and the image of a cat with a bell attacked to its collar came to mind, making me grit my teeth. She really was turning me into her pet, wasn’t she?

‘Do you want me to style her hair in any way?’ Tegan asked as she continued to brush my hair. It felt quite nice when she didn’t come across any knots, kind of similar to when she was massaging my head in the shower. Nobody had ever brushed my hair before.

‘Not today. No make-up either. It’ll just get ruined once we start.’ Laine said regretfully and looked at me for a moment. ‘Actually, maybe put a headband on to keep her hair out of her face. One of the red ones, that should look nice.’

‘Good idea.’ Tegan said, getting up and going over to the desk. Laine went over as well and grabbed the last two collars from the briefcase.

‘Can you guess where these go?’ she asked with a smirk as she came back.

‘Yes.’ I grimaced and stood up. ‘My legs.’

‘Well done!’ she clapped her hands together and knelt down to clip them onto my feet. I didn’t bother resisting. ‘There we go! You’re all set!’

I looked down at my legs and saw the cuffs fitted on top of the white socks I was wearing. Thankfully they didn’t have any chains attached to them, but they did have hoops for them to be attached in the future. They were looser than the ones on my wrist but when I tried to slip my feet out of them I found that they weren’t that loose.

Tegan walked over with a blood red headband and smiled at me. ‘Push your hair behind your ears for me sweetie, and I’ll put this on for you.’ I did so, the chains on my wrist cuffs jingling again, and Tegan carefully slipped the headband on. It didn’t feel as uncomfortable as I thought it would but I did move it around a bit until I couldn’t feel the ends of it digging into my face anymore. Tegan adjusted it a bit as well and then grinned. ‘Aww. You look so cute.’

‘Thanks.’ I said uncomfortably and once again tugged at the collar.

‘Come here baby.’ Laine said and ran her hands down my hair, then grabbed my arm and led me to the make-up desk. ‘I want you to look at yourself.’

A jolt ran through my stomach and I stared down at the desk. I didn’t want to see myself again, didn’t want to feel what I’d felt the other day. ‘I-I know what I look like.’

‘No you don’t. You’ve been avoiding your reflection all morning.’ Laine said impatiently. ‘I thought you’d at least have looked at yourself when you put on the dress but you didn’t.’

‘I don’t want to see myself in a dress!’

‘Why not?’

‘Because I’m a boy!’ I said angrily. ‘It’s embarrassing! I don’t want to see wh-urk!’

Laine grabbed me under the chin and forced me to look up at the mirror. ‘She is not a boy. And she is you, Anna. Look!’ For a moment all I could see was my face, a scared and wide-eyed girl’s face, and then I closed my eyes and backed away. Laine let go of my chin and went behind me, holding me in place with her hands on my shoulders. ‘Look!’

I held out for a couple seconds longer but…

Something inside me broke and I opened my eyes to look at the girl Laine had turned me into.

My black hair was kept out of my face by the red headband but it sprawled past it at the sides and hid all but the top of it, framing my face and making my pale complexion stand out even more. My wide eyes looked at me fearfully, the emotion enhanced by my lush eyebrows and the largeness of my pupils.

I looked so young…so scared and fragile and…beautiful…

My curved pink lips began trembling.

The collar caught my eye, its thick black leather standing out dramatically from my skin. I raised my hands to grab it and froze. They looked so small and delicate now, trapped in the wrist cuffs. No, they didn’t look small and delicate, they were small and delicate. I’d practically shredded the right one weakly punching a wall.

Then, for the first time, I looked at my body’s reflection. I could only see my upper body but that was enough for the moment. Seeing my slight shoulders, petite chest and small waist, along with my boobs pushing out against the pink dress…

That was…too much…

Oh my god…

I was so small. No wonder I couldn’t fight off Laine and Tegan. I’d probably have trouble fighting off a drunken kitten.

My body was…

I really was a girl…

I just wanted to be happy

Like the girls at school

YOU’RE NOT A GIRL YOU STUPID CUNT!

I gasped and started to fall backwards, a mess of emotions surging up inside of me. If Laine hadn’t of been holding me then I’d have hit the floor.

‘It’s okay.’ she said softly and put me down on the chair, which was thankfully facing away from the mirror. I clutched at my face and leant down, the fragmented memory already melting away now that I wasn’t looking at myself. What the fuck was that…

‘What did you do to me…’ I breathed.

‘I fixed you. I made you perfect.’

‘T-this isn’t perfect. It’s…I look so young…’

‘You look like an eighteen year old who started puberty late.’ Laine said softly and squeezed my shoulders. ‘And you could probably pass for much younger than that if you wanted.’

‘I don’t want to pass for anything. I’m a twenty one year old man.’ I said, although I didn’t have the energy to put any force behind my words.

‘You were. Now you’re not.’

I looked at her and a tear slid down my face. ‘Why did you do this to me? Why me? What did I do to deserve this?’

‘You make it sound like I’m punishing you.’ She said and anger flashed through me.

‘You are!’ I shrieked and grabbed her shirt, ignoring the pain that tore through my right hand. ‘I don’t want to be like this! It’s a nightmare! I can’t live like this! I hate it! I look weak and pathetic and embarrassing and disgusting and p-perverted!’

‘None of that’s true.’ Laine said and grabbed my hands. ‘And you shouldn’t talk like that; you sound like your father. Those are all words he’s used to describe you in the past.’

Her words hit me like a fist to the stomach and I gaped at her. What the…

She was right. I hadn’t even realised it but…it was true. Dad called me weak and pathetic all the time, and when he was angry with me he’d say I was an embarrassment to the family, that he was disgusted with me.

And he’d called me a pervert when he’d…

When…

I…no…

Huh?

I shook my head, so violently that I nearly blacked out again. I clenched Laine’s shirt harder and took in a shaky breath. I felt sick all of a sudden.

I hadn’t thought about dad in years. How had Laine even known that was what he always said to me? How was something like that in her file? Had she asked him?

I…didn’t want to think about that.

I lifted up my head and stared up at Laine while taking in a deep, shaky breath. She was looking down at me pityingly and something almost broke inside me. Why the fuck…urgh…I was so tired.

‘I don’t want to be a girl.’ I said weakly and she smiled sadly, wiping a tear from my face.

She turned to Tegan, who’d been watching us silently. ‘Could you get some shoes for her? Ones like yours, but with more of a heel.’

Tegan nodded and disappeared into the wardrobe for a moment before coming back with the shoes Laine had asked for. They were indeed like the ones she wore, black Mary Janes, but the heels on them were longer. She lifted up my feet to put them on and looked at me for a moment, seeming to expect me to resist, but I just didn’t have the willpower to. Wearing girl’s shoes with slight heels wasn’t nearly as bad as having this horrible collar around my neck.

Seeing that I wasn’t going to do anything, Tegan slipped them onto my feet and buckled them up for me. As soon as they were on I felt the difference immediately, despite the heels only being about the length of my hand, maybe a little shorter. I’d spent the last three years wearing the same brand of sneakers, a flat-heeled one that I only bothered to replace when I’d worn holes through them, and it was pretty much the same with my old school shoes. Flat, cheap and only replaceable when full of holes.

‘Okay, up you get.’ Laine said once Tegan was done, pulling me to my feet. I stumbled awkwardly as I stood up, my feet not used to the new angle they were forced to be at, and if it wasn’t for Laine’s hands on mine I’d have probably fallen over. She handed me off to Tegan and went over to the briefcase again, and I couldn’t see what she was doing but I could hear the clinking of chains.

‘Careful.’ Tegan smiled and held me steady as I almost fell over trying to get a better view of what Laine was doing. ‘You need to be move a bit slower until you get used to walking in heels.’

‘I do-’

‘You don’t want to get used to walking in heels.’ she finished my sentence with a smile and I glared at her, making her smile turn into a wide grin. ‘What? That’s what you were going to say, right?’

I didn’t want to give her the satisfaction of being right so I ignored her and watched as Laine closed the briefcase and came over, a long length of silvery chain in her hands.

‘Right. Time for us to get going.’ She said and clipped one end of the chain to the hoop on my collar, then locked it shut with a small black padlock. I gasped and pulled away but was jerked back by her grip on the chain. My stomach grew cold and I tried to pull away again but couldn’t.

‘Get this off of me! I’m not a dog!’ I snapped and grabbed the chain.

‘No, but you are my pet.’ Laine said as she let her length of the chain drop and held onto a black leather band that was connected to her end. ‘You can think of yourself as a kitten if that makes you feel better.’

‘It doesn’t.’ I said, although for a moment a very cute image of a tiny black and white kitten being walked on a leash did flash through my mind.

‘Until I can trust you to move around by yourself then you’re going to be leased every time you leave this room, so I suggest you get used to it fast.’ Laine tugged on her end and I totted towards her, my face burning with frustration and shame. The chain wasn’t that long, probably as long as I was tall, and as such there was barely any leverage for me to move around. ‘Now come on, we’ve got a big day ahead of us.’

She took out her phone and used it to make the wall open, then walked out of the room. I squeaked as the collar tugged at me and hurried after her, somehow managing to not fall over.

‘See you tonight.’ Tegan said from behind me and I turned around to see her watching us leave.

Then the wall slid shut again and I was alone with Laine.