I don't know what possessed me to do it. I never go out alone. Well, I never go out clubbing alone. But try as I might, I couldn't talk any of my girlfriends into a spontaneous night on the town. It probably didn't help that it was a Thursday and they all had work in the morning. Still, I had been working all day and I desperately needed a change of scene. So I made up my mind, tucked my pepper-spray into my purse, and decided to check out that new place that I'd been hearing about.

St@t!c was right on the edge of the north village.. In a kind of DMZ border zone between the hip gentrified tourist trap of oldetowne and the row houses that once housed the families of shipyard workers, but were now mostly off campus housing for students from the art college to the west and state tech a few miles east. It was an interesting social experiment, throwing the sports obsessed civil engineering and agriculture majors together with the design and drama kids from UAE - the loftily named 'University of Aesthetic Endeavor'. The students kidded that UAE really meant 'Unemployable Absolutely Everywhere'. But they all fought hard to be admitted, and no one ever thought of transferring. So a few blocks from this social stew of art nerds and blue collar jocks, in a neutral zone of a few blocks still mostly made up of muffler shops, nail salons, strip mall bail bondsmen and walk in law offices, someone got the brainstorm to turn an old neighborhood gin mill into a sports bar. And when that failed, they tried to lure the art kids by turning it into an EDM club called St@t!c.

I'd heard interesting things about it, mostly that it showed promise but probably wouldn't last the month before the fickle owner gave up and turned it into a tiki bar or something else that seemed trendy. So I knew I had to act fast.

There was more of a line than I expected when my cab pulled up, but from the look of the people waiting, they hadn't got the memo that it was no longer a sports bar. Much to my surprise, I was beckoned by the door guy. On my perplexed look, he smiled and pointed to the handmade "Ladies Night" sign by the door. I returned his smile. Business wasn't great so they had to stock the club with bait. The moment I stepped from the cab alone, I caught the door guy's eye and was fast-tracked inside. The night was off to a promising start.

It was really loud inside. Or maybe it wasn't so much loud, as the sound system wasn't very good and the EDM was rather painful and rattle-y. It was also quite dark. I think they were trying to pass it off as atmosphere, but my suspicion was that it was really to hide the fact that it still mostly looked like a sports bar, only now all the big screens were pulsing with swirling graphics that were loosely synced to the music.

I found my way over to the bar and ordered my usual - especially for nights when I was out on my own, and tried to check out the crowd through the dim haze.

"First time here?" the voice shouted at me over the music.

I smiled and nodded. "Does anyone ever come back?" I yelled back.

She threw her head back with a laugh that looked loud but was inaudible over the music.

"Really!" she grinned over the distorted beats blasting from the cleared area that passed for a dance floor.

"I really wanted to check this place out!" She hollered.

"Me too!" I shouted back. And shrugged with a smile. "Now we know!"

She laughed silently again, over powered by the music. "I guess my friends were right! None of them would come out with me!"

I smiled in sympathy. "Yeah. But it IS a Thursday... and they probably have work or school!"

She nodded. "I have no Friday classes... AND I was feeling frisky... so I figured What The Hell?"

As I was about to speak, a bunch of big guys in letter jackets loped up to us.

"HEY BABES!" one of them said waving and staring goofily. It was immediately apparent these guys were all one jagermeister shot away from an ER visit for alcohol poisoning.

The girl beside me flashed a finger wave and a polite if not enthusiastic smile.
"Where you boys from?" she mouthed pointing at their jackets.

"STATE!" one of them bellowed. "WE KICKED YOU GUYSES ASS! AN' NOW WERE ON A PUB CRAWL!"

They all nodded as one.

"I hope this is your last pub. You boys better crawl home or maybe to the ER at Saint Barnaby's to get your stomachs pumped!" I hollered helpfully.

"PFFFFFF..... S'FINE.... WE'RE JUST GETTIN' STARTED. GONNA SEE THE WHOLE TOWN!" another yelled.

The beefy guy with a buzz-cut leaned in to my new friend, squinting and moving his head like he was focusing a lens.

"HEY! Y'KNOW YOU'RE REALLY CUTE! THAT'S A REALLY ROCKIN'..." and he leaned in as if he was about to face-plant in her cleavage, and ....EXPLODED!

Obviously these guys had done more than drinking. Chili and nachos with cheese had apparently been their insurance against excessive alcohol. Well, that plan backfired. Literally.

My companion leaped back startlingly fast, but she was not fast enough to completely avoid the appetizer eruption.

"JEE-SUS!" she spat and shot a glare at the guy who seemed just as stunned and still not quite aware that this fountain of disgustingness was still spewing from him.

"HEY!" I waved my arms to the bartender, who snapped to and beckoned some burly guys to swoop in and spirit our 'frat-pack' outside.

I grabbed my still stunned companion by the elbow and rushed her toward the ladies, but not before signaling the bartender that I wanted another drink.

I swooped by the bar on the way to the back corridor and mouthed that I'd square up on the way back. He gestured 'on the house' with a rueful smile as we rushed to the restroom.

As soon as we got inside I grabbed some paper towels and spun to the sink.

"Damn. You're fast!" I laughed as I handed her some damp paper towels.

"Not fast enough" she said tight lipped, balancing anger and mortification.

"Anyone else and we'd be picking chunks out of her hair and burning her shoes!
That guy exploded like a vile pinata. You have mad ninja skills!" I grinned.

That finally brought a laugh. And a sigh.

"Shit. This was a brand new top! That's kinda why I wanted to come out tonight. I just bought it, and I thought it was super sexy, and maybe could be a lucky top. I thought I'd see if it could attract...."

"It sure DID attract!" I interrupted with a laugh "...more like totally absorbed!"

She shot me a pout. "And now it's, like, totally ruined!"

"Yeah. You'll probably have to burn or bury it." I teased. "I thought maybe I could get the stain out, but...."

"What are you dabbing?" she glanced at my drink. "Is that vodka?"

I shook my head as I squeezed the dripping citrus wedge over a stain. "Club soda... always the safest drink on a night out ....and SO versatile!" I grinned as I dipped more paper towel in and continued squeegeeing the goo off her once-pretty top."

"Oh, God. I can't go out there looking like this!" she scowled at her badly stained top."I don't even want to catch a cab home wearing this!"

I dug around in my purse."I think I can help." I muttered as she shot me a perplexed look.

"What do you have in there that can help THIS?" she almost whined staring down at her ruined top.

"Contraband!" I grinned wickedly, and thrust out my hand.

She tilted her head and slowly reached out for my hand. It took her a moment as she unfolded it muttering to herself 'contraband?'

"They're illegal in this town now." I beamed to her. "That's why I always carry my own stash."

I saw the recognition slowly develop across her face like an old Polaroid photo as she unfolded the disposable cellulose shopping bag. Finally she smiled at me.

"Put THAT in there" I directed pointing to her shirt and the bag.

Her eyes went wide as she prepared to point out the obvious, but I cut her off.

"Annd..." I said quickly peeling off my bomber jacket and handing it to her. "Put this on."

Her eyes stayed wide. Only now I think it was at the fact that a near total stranger was giving her the shirt ...well, jacket... off their back.

"Oh my god. Really?" She asked with a tinge of disbelief.

I smiled and nodded. "And if you plan on staying, zip it down a bit. That's a really cute bra and it would be a really hot look."

She blushed and shook her head. "No. I just want to go home and shower until dawn."

I nodded and smiled.

"I can't believe you gave me your jacket!" she gushed.

"Well, you couldn't very well go back out there in only your bra." I smiled. "Besides. I've got a little more coverage"

"Not much" she grinned.

I twisted and regarded myself in the mirror. The white halter bodysuit was a bit much. Or more accurately a bit not-enough. The front was full but thin as film and showed every goose-bump, and the back was cut so low it disappeared below black jeans, exposing the band of my thong. I scowled, pushing the underwear down and trying to tug my jeans up when my new clothes companion gasped.

I turned to her knowing what was coming.

"Is that a... did I just see a peek of.... um...."

"...'Tramp stamp' is cool. That's what it is." I sighed. She blushed. "Let's just say that Absinthe and I are no longer friends." I sagged a bit. She came closer.

"Not to be nosy... but may I see? I've never seen a real one on a real...."

"Tramp?" I asked with a raised eyebrow and sardonic smile.

"Oh, God NO!" she flustered. "I mean I've seen them in pictures and thought they were kind of cool, but I don't know anyone who was bold enough.."

"..or DRUNK enough.." I interrupted with raised finger. She blushed again.

"I've just never seen a REAL one!" she gushed. Then got really shy. "....may I?...."

I reached back and tugged down the waist of the jeans to expose the full tat.

"Oh, Wow! It's really pretty!" she said softly.

I shrugged. "Thank God all my friends are artists, so even if they would let me get blind drunk and get a tramp stamp, they would NOT let me get a bad one."

"Do you regret it?" she asked quietly.

"Everyday" I admitted.

"But it's so pretty!" she looked at me SO earnestly. "And it's not like everyone will see it. Only someone special"

"Like a stranger in a bathroom?" I snarked, She turned crimson and I suddenly felt terrible."OK. I'll confess. I really like it too." I smiled and she seemed to relax a bit. "But it really complicates my life. If the wrong person saw it by accident...." I blanched at the thought. She mercifully changed the subject.

"When you said stranger in a bathroom, I realized I never even introduced myself" she smiled and extended a hand. "I'm Tina"

"No worries" I smiled back."even if you told me out there" I tilted my head toward the door "I wouldn't have heard you anyway. Chloe."

We shook and Tina gushed. "God, Chloe, I'm SO glad I met you! If I hadn't... oh God.... " she eyed the bomber jacket up and down "...I don't know what I'd have done!"

"Well, if you'd been alone, maybe you'd have met a nice guy who wanted to meet the cute girl in the sexy top" I teased. "...instead of that pack of drunken doofuses."

She smiled and said "Give me your phone." I thought I knew what she was up to and was right. She rang herself and entered my name in her contact list. I entered her number from my call log into my own contact list.

"I'll get this dry cleaned and call you when it's ready." she smiled.

"That's really not ness...." I began to wave my hand dismissively but she cut me off.

"Nonsense! I'll call you in a few days. But right now, I just want to get home." she flashed a weary smile.

"Me too." I smiled.

We both called cabs from the ladies and waited there until they arrived. Tina was nice enough to wait with me since I did not want to hang out in the noisy club in my bodysuit that looked painted on, flashing my trampstamp. We walked with arms around each others waists and maybe people thought there was something going on there, but really it was just Tina's brilliant ploy to cover my tat with her arm in the bulky jacket sleeve. I was quite grateful for that and thought that any favor I did loaning her my jacket was more than repaid by her covering my immodest ink.

She smiled at me as she got into her cab. "Surprisingly, this was a good night."

I cocked my head quizzically.

"...Not remotely what I had intended... I got barfed on in a crappy club, and I didn't get CLOSE to getting laid..." she grinned. "...but I think maybe I made a friend." and she shot me a radiant smile I couldn't help but return.

"Hmmph.... I guess it was a good night." I agreed.

She flashed a finger wave and ducked into her cab.

As I got into my own cab and tried to ignore the drivers fixation on my too thin top, I thought to myself. "Maybe we both made a friend tonight. That's gonna complicate things."

***

Tina called a couple of days later. I was standing in line at Starbucks and saw her caller ID. I had to let it go to voice mail.

I called her when I got back home.

"Hey, Chloe! I have your jacket as promised. I thought maybe we could get together for lunch or coffee or something. Oh, wait. I have no idea where you live. Are you close to the U?"

"Not that far. Sure. Where did you want to meet and when?"

"How about 'Freshies'? Do you know it? It's that salad place on Carver Court? Or is there someplace you'd prefer?"

"No. Freshies sounds fine. Never been there but I'm sure I can find it with my GPS. What time?"

"Does 4 work for you? My classes get out by 3:30 so I can...."

"4 is fine."

"Oh, there's indoor and outdoor seating, if I get there first do you have a preference?"

"It's a nice day. Are you OK with outside?"

"Sure! I've spent all day cooped up in classes. The fresh air will be nice."

"So. Fourish at Freshies. See you then."

"I'll be outside if I get there first. Just look for me." she chirped.

"OK. See you then." I said in my most pleasant voice. She was definitely going to get there first. I had to handle my entrance carefully.

Freshie's was easy to find and Tina was sitting at a table by the hedges that bordered the sidewalk. I told the hostess I was meeting someone who I already spotted from the street, so she waved me thru to meet my party.

I walked around to Tina's table. She paid me no attention as I snaked through the tables on the patio until I was nearly at her table. Only then did she shoot me a confused glance. Her look got really confused when I pulled out a chair and seated myself.

"We need to talk" I dove in instantly in my 'business voice'.

She stared at me with furrowed brow. "Excuse me? Um this table's taken."

"I know, Tina." I smiled. Pointing at the bagged jacket hanging from the empty chair.

"Are you a friend of Chloe's?" She shot me a curious look and then stared me up and down like she was scanning a counterfeit bill. "Are you related? Is she your sister? I can see the resemblance." she began to relax.

I smiled. "No. We're not.... she's not my sister." I laughed at my near slip. This only confused her more.

"Oh. But she sent you to pick up her jacket?"

I nodded.

"We really need to talk. Shall we do it over food?"

Tina nodded distractedly. I ordered a kale salad with an unsweetened iced tea. She quirked an eyebrow.

"They have a really hearty vegan chili. And onion soup. ....and nachos...."

I shook off her suggestions. "I'm good with the salad." I smiled. She then ordered a Cobb salad and iced chai and our server dashed off.

"I'm surprised you can even say nachos... let alone suggest them" I smiled. She went crimson.

"You KNOW?" she looked mortified.

"Kinda hard to forget." I smiled. She shot me a blank stare.

"Chloe told you? She must have gone into lurid detail because even you look freaked." she whispered

I let out a heavy sigh. "I thought I knew how I was going to do this, and played it out in my head all the way over here..."

Tina continued the blank stare.

I stood and held out my hand. "Hi Tina. I'm Tom. Tom Saville." She shook robotically.

"Are you Chloe's boyfriend?"

The laugh caught me by surprise, exploding before I could stem it and causing all heads to turn. I felt my own face flush.

"Not even close." I finally managed to gasp out through my stifled chest heaves.
I scratched my head. My original plan was totally derailed. I needed to improvise. Suddenly I had a flash. And a flash it was.

"This isn't working." I smiled to Tina. "I thought I knew how to do this. But I don't. I think I need to tie my shoe." I shrugged apologetically.

I pulled out my chair and also untucked my shirt tails and tee. I turned to Tina and said quietly "Apologies in advance" and turned away to raise my foot to the chair, bending over to untie and carefully retie my shoe. I also took the liberty of scrunching up the back of my shirts, my back to Tina who I really hoped did not think I was about to moon her. Still, it was a really rude gesture, and I thought I'd screwed it up until I heard her little gasped 'eep'. I sat back in my seat and calmly addressed the saucer-eyed Tina.

"Now do you get why I regret that tatoo?" I smirked.

She went pale and continued to stare. I said nothing. Just giving her time to process.

The server came with our drinks and salads. I politely thanked her and proceeded to mix in my balsamic dressing.

Tina remained speechless. I could not read the expression on her face, but it was fixed. The only thing that moved were her eyes, which continued to scan me up and down, stopping now and then to really bore into something.
I calmly ate my salad and sipped my tea, giving her as much time as she needed.

"I... uh.... Oh my God.... you're so different!"

"Only on the outside." I smiled quietly.

Tina continued to stare.

"How.... how long?"

"All my life." I smiled.

"No. I mean.... how long since you.... God... you knew all your life?"

I smiled and nodded.

"Oh, god. When you were little......"

I shrugged. "Yeah. It was pretty confusing.... and kinda rough at times...." I understated.

"Oh my God. I can't imagine! When.... when did you finally ....ummmm... is Come Out the right word?"

I nodded. "Sure. I get what you mean. Well... obviously.... I'm not completely.... out."

Her eyes went wide again. It was obvious in hindsight. The other night she met Chloe. Today she was sitting with Tom. I was far from fully out.

"It must be so ....hard!"

I nodded. "It's at least ...complicated...."

"Ohmigod. So do you... do you work?"

I nodded. "They know me as Tom."

She swallowed. "And where you live....."

"Yeah. That's one of the complications. I have roommates I've known since I was a kid. They have no idea."

She stared at me. "How can they?.... Um, DUH!...." she smiled. "I had no idea, and even when you flashed me...." she gave me a look of uncertainty about her choice of words.

I smiled. "Thanks for not saying 'nearly mooned me'"

She relaxed and laughed. "Even then, it took me the longest time. And I have to be honest.... I'm still having a hard time seeing it.... you're so.... different!"

"Only on the outside" I repeated with a smile.

"And your family....."

I winced. Which said it all. "It should have been obvious to them since I was about three..... but they remain stubbornly clueless. And I have no idea how to talk to them."

She reached out and put her hand over mine. I gave her a brave smile as she gave it a squeeze.

"They're pretty heavily invested in the fiction. Since they created it when I was a baby and just keep doubling down whenever they start to see through the facade." I sighed.

"Oh, honey!" she said softly, then caught herself. "Sorry."

I shrugged. "Tom may be embarrassed by that outburst, but it warmed Chloe's heart" I flashed a conflicted smile.

"So. The other night, I thought to myself 'girl, you may have got puked on but maybe you also met a really cool friend.'" She said quietly staring at me.

I slumped in my seat, eyes boring into the ground, waiting for the rest.

"But I guess I was wrong."

I hung my head lower, hoping she would only feel disappointed and not outright betrayed.

"Looks like I made TWO friends" she grinned goofily.

***

Over the next two weeks, Tina and I truly did become friends. She called a few more times and always caught me at work, which meant she always got 'Tom'. But she seemed OK with that. I'd catch a smoothie and salad with her if she didn't have classes when I got my lunch break. Sometimes I'd meet her straight from work for a coffee or light snack & always lots of conversation.

I mentioned to her that I felt that we really were becoming friends.

She beamed and said I was her best friend since she moved to school.

I raised my eyes slowly, wondering if I wanted what I just heard so badly that I deliberately mis-heard. Tina's grin assured me that I heard her right.

The wonder and relief on my face must have been obvious because her grin erupted into a beaming smile as she reached out again and gave my hand a long tight squeeze.

"So 'Tom'..." I could hear the air quotes in her bubbly voice. "...tell me about yourself. You said you work as Tom..."

I nodded. Still a bit dazed.

"So where do you work?"

"I'm um.... a bike courier... and I work part time at office oasis...."

She nodded. "So you're a salesclerk."

I shrugged. "I work the custom printing desk. Business card design, banners, logo decals...." I flashed an embarrassed smile "four years of art college to sell people logo doodles for their corolla".

Tina smiled back. "Hey, at least you're using your skills."

I scowled a little. "Kind of like Professor X working as a strip mall fortune teller."

Tina lit up. "You're a comic book guy!" she crowed.

I reflexively tensed. This was something I learned long ago not to brag about. But while I expected the usual contempt, she seemed genuinely pleased. I quickly calmed.

"....AND a comic book girl" I said quietly.

Her eyes sparkled as she regarded me. "You're like a special edition! Same content but two collectible covers!"

I don't know whether it was her unrestrained enthusiasm or her unexpected analogy, but her glee was infectious and I returned her joyful smile.

***

So my good deed went unpunished for a change. And the stranger I let use my new jacket returned it, freshly dry cleaned. And she expressed an interest in being friends, even after learning about Tom.

I don't honestly consider myself a pessimist, but it's been my experience, when everything is going perfectly, the universe is often setting you up for a 'gotcha'. So I was wary and never took this budding friendship for granted, even after Tina texted "Hey! I'm out of classes. Any dinner plans?"

I texted her back that I was working, but if she was still interested by the time I got off, I'd love to.

I gave myself time to ride home and shower, but Dale and Colin were home, so I just rushed out, still kinda damp haired, to meet Tina.

"Hey you" she waved as I approached the restaurant. I smiled. I wasn't sure who she was expecting, but she seemed OK with it.

"Hi." I smiled as I squeezed through the ornamental barriers that separated the terrace from the street.

"I hope you don't mind Al Fresco again" she smiled. "You seemed OK with it the last time, and it's a beautiful evening."

I shook my head with a smile. "Not at all. It IS a beautiful evening. Why waste it?"

I sat down across from her looking for a reaction. If she had one, I couldn't read it. So I just came right out with it.

"I hope you don't mind catching a bite with Tom." I semi-whispered.

She shook her head with a smile. "No. It's all good. I figured it was 50/50 either way, but I'm good. You're good company ....however you...” she shrugged. I smiled. That was the nicest thing anyone had said to me in ages.

Still, I felt the need to explain - or was it an apology?

"Well, I came right after work.... and my roommate situation is ...erm... complicated." I flashed a conflicted smile.

Tina's eyebrow went up. "So they don't know?"

"Oh GOD no!" Chloe exclaimed far too loudly. Heads turned. I froze and felt all the blood leave my face.

Tina just burst into the widest smile I've ever seen.

I tried to turn invisible. But staying still seemed to work just as well. The crowd looked around to see where the outburst came from, but seeing only me and Tina, they just kept scanning. I felt their attention linger and move on. Tina gave nothing away.

"Oh wow. That is so amazing!" she whispered to me. “The way you were just... it was just...."

I was mortified. I said in a near mutter. "Sorry. Sometimes Chloe just slips out if I'm distracted or startled or...."

"Get caught off guard?" she smiled quietly.

I nodded with a shy grin. She got it. I don't know how, but she immediately got it.

"God, that must be so hard!" she said in the very hushed tone our conversation had taken.

I shrugged. "Not so hard anymore, I've been doing it... like, forever... but still really complicated. I just have to stay focused and always keep my guard up."

"And your roommates don't know.... so you never really have any downtime... not even at home.... That must be EXHAUSTING." she gave me the most sympathetic look.

"It's necessary" I sighed. Then smirked "At least until I win that MacArthur Genius grant ...or the lottery I never play. Still, at least I found a couple of jobs. I may be one of the few people in my graduating class who didn't have to move back with their parents."

Tina smiled. "Yeah. That sucks. I'm still in the dorms, and that has its own ....issues..." she grinned "but a least I'm not living at home or with roommates from hell."

"Mine aren't from hell.... just from.... my past. They know me one way and I'm not sure they could ever fully let go of that. They're OK but we're not really close, so I don't feel any need to even try to get them to see the ....complicated reality... of my situation. I just let them believe what they believe and we all leave each other alone."

She nodded. "Still, wouldn't it be nice if you had a place where you could just relax and be yourself without the need to pretend?"

I thought about it and maybe zoned out a bit at the blissful thought. Tina snapped me out of it.

"Looks like I hit a nerve." she smiled.

"Just a wall. I can't get there from where I am now."

"Sure you can. I've seen that confidence. You can eas...."

"It's not... not confidence. It's cash. I work two minimum wage jobs six days a week, sometimes seven if I get the chance, and sometimes both jobs in a very long day. Still I just make living expenses and not much more to bank for my dream place." I smiled sadly.

Tina nodded. "Or you could find cool roomies"

I laughed. "I could also track a leprechaun to steal his gold, or win a TV reality show. Both are more likely." I sounded mean and dismissive. I shot her an apologetic and forlorn look.

"How hard could it be?"

I smirked. "What, just put an ad on Craigslist: Transgender girl seeks cool people to move in with?"

She grimaced. "Yeah. I see your point."

"My living condition is...tolerable... my roomies aren't nosy and I keep a really low profile. Lucky for me they're kind of party fiends, so I usually have nights and mornings to myself. I can do this for a while."

Tina nodded. "Yeah, we have some hard partiers at the dorms too. I think you may have more peace and quiet than I do."

"Sounds like you're the one in need of a new place." I grinned.

"Someday" she said wistfully. "I'm starting training as a barista this week, and I have a few applications in at the mall. Maybe I can do that work too hard thing you do and scrape enough to afford my own place."

"Will it hurt your studies?"

She shook her head. "No. I'm on pretty solid ground. Most of this semesters classes I could ace in my sleep."

"You go to UAE?"

She shook her head. "Tech."

"Are you going to be a farmer or a petrochemical geologist?"

The laugh was so hard she sprayed little bits of food, then looked suitably mortified. "Oh, God no. English lit and marketing. My parents think it's so I can land a career in advertising or something, but I really want to write and market my own stuff... create my own brand."

I nodded. "I'm kind of surprised you didn't go to arts. They have a lot more creative writing and dramaturgy courses...."

"I'm comfortable with my creative." Tina smiled. "Maybe I'm too full of myself, but I really want to know how to push my brand, find my audience and carve out a liveable niche."

I nodded. "Yeah. Tech's business and marketing courses are probably better for actually making a living as a writer... provided you already know how to write."

Tina just pursed her lips into a thin smile. "I think I'm on solid ground in that department."

We finished our dinner and Tina asked if I was up for a movie. She really wanted to see this Lilly Tomlin movie about an old hippie who goes on a road trip with her pregnant granddaughter. None of her friends from school wanted to see it. She said they were more into movies like Bridesmaids & the new Ghostbusters.

"Sounds like a heartwarming relationship movie." I muttered.

She nodded.

"Translate: Chick Flick."

Tina rolled her eyes. I just gave her a little shoulder bump and a grin. "I'm in."

It was a good movie, even if we had to bus to the other side of town to see it at the art cinema in Park Vale. On our long bus ride, I learned a lot about her family and her background. She was the youngest and the only girl in her family. Her dad was ex military and all her brothers had or were currently serving too. It was a big thing in her family, going way back to WWI when her immigrant great granddad signed up to prove his patriotism. Her dad did his 20 and mustered out. He still had a lot of connections and was working as a security consultant. He dealt with a lot of corporate espionage stuff and had old special forces buddies who he farmed out as bodyguards for CEOs & celebrities.

"Your Dad sounds a little like Tony Stark." I teased.

"More like Nick Fury. He's more like the ringmaster than the aerialist or lion tamer" she laughed.

"So does he miss the service?" I asked.

Tina shrugged. "I don't think so. He still has lots of close contacts. I think the hardest thing for him is staying in one place for so long. I don't think he ever really got used to that. I know he did it for me. He couldn't do it for my brothers, but by the time I was old enough for school, he had done his 20, so he could muster out and settle down. I got to go to the same school and hang with the same kids for my entire childhood."

"That's not always such a good thing" I grinned.

Tina shot me a sympathetic look. "I guess so. But I was lucky. I made some good, close friends. We all grew up together. We shared so much. Which is what made moving away to college so hard. I know people here, but we don't have that history. I don't actually feel like I have any real friends here." she said quietly. Then her tight lipped expression melted to a smile as she squeezed my hand. "Well, almost none" she smiled and crinkled her eyes.

I melted, and squeezed her hand back. Then I made the patented 'Tom move' I came up with ages ago when I'd start to tear up. I feigned something going down the wrong way and coughing as my face went red and my eyes ran. I think Tina knew what I was doing because her concern quickly turned to a suppressed grin as she handed me a water and I pretended to fight the reflexive coughing.

***

We really did become close friends over the ensuing weeks. She got the job as a barista, which kept her busy most mornings and afternoons she didn't have classes, so we got together a lot more evenings. Which meant much more hanging with Chloe than Tom. But not always.

I met her at this tapas place we both wanted to try, and when I turned up as Tom, I quickly explained "roommate complications". She nodded. Dale & Colin were both home, in fact they invited buds over to watch a MMA pay per view so the place was ...bro-verflowing. I might have been able to sneak past one or both of my roommates. I'd done it before, although it was always risky. I'd carry my heels and pad to the door like a ninja, yell down the hall that I was leaving and loudly slam the door. They never even turned from the screen when I'd walk through the living room. Their eyes were usually glued to their X-Box game, sports or the occasional porno. Chloe sneaking out was usually pretty easy. But not tonight.

"If you want to put the tapas off to another night, we could go to Chili's or something." Tina smiled.

"Why would I want to do that?" I cocked my head, slightly perplexed.

"Well, Tapas is kind of ....grazing.... I just figured Tom would prefer a steak or something.... heartier." she whispered.

I smiled. "Thanks for the offer, but it all goes to the same stomach." I patted my sides gently "AND the same hips! I'm still up for tapas."

Tina nodded and we waited in line. When we sat, she whispered to me.

"Your roommate situation reminded me. How do you feel about moving again?"

I scowled. "Frustrated. It would make things easier, but I don't see how...."

Tina lit up. "I just may have a way! This girl Zoe where I work. We got to talking and she mentioned that her Dad is a real estate developer and has offered a few times to set her up in one of his former model homes, but he has a few conditions. One of them is that she has to have roommates." her eyebrow raised. "She asked me if I was interested and if I knew anybody." she beamed.

Now it was MY turn to raise an eyebrow. "You mean ME?"

Tina scowled. "Ummm.... Chloe actually. I guess Zoe is a bit of a wild child & her dad wants to get her to ditch her loser boyfriend and move out. He's holding the house out as a carrot, but he wants to approve of the roommates." she cleared her throat, seeming a bit uncomfortable. She shrugged. "I think he'd flip if he met Tom... he seems to want to get Zoe some ....responsible role models. I think if he met Tom, he'd assume Zoe was sleeping with him. Or would keep trying to. ....but I'm sure he'd love Chloe!" she smiled. "....if you'd actually do it..." she gave me big pleading eyes.

"Do what?" I was confused. "Move? ....or meet this guy...."

"Mister Boecher"

"Meet this mister Butcher guy... as Chloe?"

"Both" Tina smiled with a shrug.

I was stunned "Wow. I'll have.... I'll have to think about this.... there are a million..."

"..complications?" Tina smirked.

"Yeah." I nodded. "I think you were teasing, but it's true.... What about this Zoe? How do you think she would be with...."

Tina cut me off. "When she asked me, I told her I had a friend who might be interested. When I told her it was a transgender friend, she actually smiled and said 'cool'."

"Really?" I asked. Tine nodded vigorously. "Is she ....cool.... with it, or is she like, really into it? Because that could really compli...."

"ENOUGH with the complications!" Tina laughed. "Zoe's kind of ...edgy... I didn't think it was any kind of ....interest.... so much as she's seen and done so much already, that living with a trans girl would just be one more thing on the list."

"Um. Can I MEET this Zoe?"

Tina nodded enthusiastically. She knew I was interested, and I think she saw this as one more step closer to her getting out of the dorms.

"When can you set..."

"She's closing tonight. Care for a nightcap after dinner?"

"You want her to meet Tom?" I was feeling reservations.

"Well, soon enough she'll meet you both, so what's the difference?"

I shrugged at the realization. So, on our way home, we stopped for a latte.

The barista behind the counter was very dark... almost goth. Kind of vampiric and asexual.

"Hey Zoe!" Tina waved as we stepped through the door. The barista looked up and nodded, smiling as much as her facial muscles probably allowed... kind of a slightly concave razor thin line.

"Hey T." The girl muttered in a voice that made me blush since it was much deeper than my own and kind of smoky. "What'll it be?" she said to me.

I motioned for a single espresso, feeling really self conscious about my own voice. She didn't seem to notice. Or care.

"Remember that thing we talked about? About your dad, and the ....arrangement?" Tina leaned in and asked her quietly. Zoe nodded.

"...and I said I think I know someone.... that I had a friend....?" Zoe nodded again and I felt her eyes go to me with a look of uncertainty.

"Zoe? Meet Tom." Tina whispered.

Zoe stared intensely at me as she made my espresso.

As she handed it to me, I held out my hand, she gave it a shake.

"Fuck." she muttered.

"Not really" I shrugged with a shy smile.

She laughed. And quickly caught herself. Dragon Tattoos girl wasn't going to break character and laugh in public.

"You're shitting, right?" She said to Tina. My heart sank.

Tina furrowed her brow. "No." Zoe just glared at her. Tina seemed flummoxed,
"What?"

"You know you guys have to meet my father."

"Already have" Tina smiled and batted her eyebrows goofily "he loves me!"

Zoe scowled and cocked a thumb in my direction. "He has to meet you BOTH. He'll never...."

"He'll ADORE Chloe!" Tina gushed.

"Chloe?" Tina raised an eyebrow and turned to me. I just flushed deep crimson and tried to melt into the floor.

"Trust me." Tina almost crowed. "He'll love her. You will too. You guys have to meet."

"We just did" Zoe scowled.

"No!" whispered Tina with a little heat. "You and CHLOE!"

I just smiled weakly, still trying to be absorbed into the floor.

"Hey. When are you working next?" Tina grinned.

"Opening day after tomorrow. Damn, this job is ruining my social life." Zoe grimaced.

Tina swept me into a huddle with Zoe. "Here's the idea. Maybe day after tomorrow, Chloe and I could come by for our morning coffees? I have a morning class, but I can blow it off. This is more important." She turned to me with a querulous look.

I shrugged. "I guess I can blow off work. I can act progressively sicker tomorrow so when I call in the next day, they're not surprised. I'll make it seem contagious so they're glad I'm away." I broke a hesitant smile.

Zoe looked at us both. "Suit yourself. Still, I don't see how it will make any dif...."

"Trust me" Tina grinned.

***

I didn't have to fake impending illness the next day at work. Nerves had me in a kind of cold sweat and from what people said, looking rather pale and greenish. I had gone out during the day as Chloe, but the goal was always to blend in and disappear. I would be attracting scrutiny, at least from Zoe. I didn't worry about the guys. Dale worked at the delivery service depot and he was loading trucks by 5AM. Colin worked at MAACO and he was out the door by 6:30.

I went over and over my makeup and what to wear. I just wound myself up into a bigger bundle of nerves. Finally I realized that if I was just a random office worker grabbing a quick latte on her way to work, I would be fresh off the subway, a little disheveled, in my tennies, carrying my heels along with my bag or briefcase or portfolio or whatever I needed for work. That helped. Instead of passing the time stressing about the encounter, I spent it making up a life and backstory for Chloe the harried paralegal on her way to hand deliver documents to the courthouse on her way to work at the renovated waterfront rowhouse complex that housed the prestigious law office.

I had the character. Choosing the pencil skirt and taupe silk blouse was suddenly a snap. Appropriate leg wear and my most corporate heels completed the look. The La Perla bustier and tap pants were an indulgence I chose to cement my character. No one would see them, but I would feel them, and knowing they were underneath it all would give my character the confidence she needed to exude.

Some tastefully understated jewelry, and a trace of Dior cologne completed the package. I put the last coat of finish on my flawlessly lacquered nails, grabbed what I called my 'Jackie O' wool coat and knock off Gucci bag, and strode off to meet Tina for coffee.

I felt my phone vibrate on the bus, but it was so crowded I couldn't fish through my purse until I got off at my stop a block and a half from the coffeehouse.

"Damn." I quietly cursed as I read Tina's text.

OMG. Comparative lit quiz today. Can't miss. Too much of my grade. Kill me later. SO SO sorry! :-(

I scowled. I was less than 10 minutes away. After all I went through to get ready, and the 36 hours of nerves leading up to this moment, was I really just going to turn around and crawl home? I screwed my face into a determined grimace and plowed on to the shop.

Zoe looked a little less scary in the crisp morning light. I thought to myself, 'if Wednesday Addams grew up and got a job as a barista, she'd probably look just like this.' That thought made me smile, and I couldn't dampen my smile when a very businesslike Zoe turned to me efficiently.

"Miss?" she asked automatically. She looked right through me.

"Tall decaf macchiato. Skim milk." I said cheerfully. She gave no reaction and spun to prepare it. There was a line behind me, so I just grabbed my drink and a biscotti and scouted out a seat.

The crowd died down after about 10 minutes. I looped the bag on my arm, and stirring my biscotti in my coffee, I approached Zoe, wiping down a machine at the counter. She sensed me and turned.

"Miss?" She asked. Her fierce look now just seemed very austere and businesslike.

I realized by her quirked eyebrow she was waiting for my request or complaint.

That brought a smile. I shrugged her off.

"Oh. I'm good." I laughed. That just seemed to perplex her. Why was I bothering her?

I frowned. "Tina texted me on my way over. She forgot she had a test and couldn't blow off class...."

Her look remained blank. She heard and understood me, but hadn't yet pieced it together. I put down my coffee and extended my hand with a smile.

"Hi. I'm Chloe.... I know Tina wanted to...."

"FUCK ME!" she exclaimed and jerked back slightly. All eyes in the place turned to her. If she wasn't so naturally pale, I'm sure she would have blushed. She waved her hands dismissively to the customers and said. "Sorry. Sorry." and stared each one of them down until they went back to what they had been doing.

Then she turned to me.

"No Shit?" At least she muttered it quietly to me this time.

I just nodded and flashed a meek smile.

Her startled expression gave way to an intense gaze. It felt like she was giving me a CAT scan with her eyes. Finally, she gave a near imperceptible nod and her expression changed from one of satisfaction with her inspection to a slight, sly grin.

"Tina was right. My dad's gonna fuckin' LOVE you!"

****

When the morning rush subsided, Zoe took her break and sidled into my table.
She shot me another hard look, only this time a stupid grin was plastered on her face.

"So what did Tina tell you?" she asked.

I shrugged. "Just a little. She said it was a place of your dad's in a nice part of town, but your dad required you to live with roommates."

Zoe smirked. "His exact words were 'at least two other girls'..." then she snorted "OTHER girls" and she shook her head grinning.

"Look, I don't want to be a joke or a prank on your dad. I seriously need a place to live.... one where I don't have to ....hide myself.... so if this is just about you punking your dad...."

"No. No.... It's cool. I wasn't laughing AT you..." she said under her breath. "I was laughing at myself.... when Tina said she had a TG friend, I said I was cool with it. And I was... I mean I AM.... but I was sure my father would blow a nut."

Her look bore into me. I gulped, swallowed and nodded. I got it.

Then her look softened. "But I was NEVER expecting you! God, T was right... he's gonna fuckin' LOVE you!"

I finally relaxed.

"You still want to do this? Cuz I can call him right now and we can set up a time."

I nodded. More resolutely than I felt. I was about to step from the familiar into the abyss of the unknown.

"Can you stick around? I can call him and let you know."

I nodded. "Sure. I'm out of work. Sick. Remember?" I smiled. She nodded with a grin.

I grabbed a scone and a mint chai and nursed both while I waited for Zoe's next break. I saw her sneak behind the espresso machine to make a quick call. She nodded to me when she swung back behind the counter. I nodded back, trying to calmly wait to find out when Tina and I would have our 'audition'.

I took the time to text Tina.

Hope ur test was OK. Met Zoe. She seems cool. Talkng 2 hr dad now. Let U kno.

I was putting my phone back in my purse when I saw this 50ish guy who looked like everyone who ever sold personal investment services on late night TV take his coffee from the counter and walk my way.

"May I?" he asked, already pulling out his chair. I scowled as I looked around at all the empty tables.

"Actually, there are plenty of other empty tables." I said rather coldly.

His smile didn't waiver. "Yes, but I hate drinking alone."

"I rather prefer it," I said with what I hoped was a disapproving look.

He was undeterred. He just extended a hand, smile still plastered on his implacable face.

"Frank. Frank Boecher."

Did he say Frank Butcher? Why was that familiar?

He cocked his head toward the counter. "Zoe's father."

I nearly peed myself. Or maybe that was just the blood leaving my face and rushing to my bladder.

He laughed. "I gather she didn't tell you." His eyes sparkled with mirth.

I just shook my head. I finally found my voice, dry and shaken as it was. "She just.... just said she was going to call you and arrange a meeting..."

He smiled. "I was just leaving a meeting not far from here when I got her call, so I had my driver swing by. If I had known she was working this morning I would have done so anyway. Any chance to see my girl." He smiled with pride. "...that's probably why she never tells me when she's working" he chuckled.

I smiled, and finally noticed his still-extended hand. I took it and he closed around my fingertips.

"Oh. Sorry. I didn't intend to be rude Mr Butcher. You just... You just caught me by surprise." I stammered still gathering my wits.

He smiled. "Oh I totally understand. I never intended to ambush YOU miss...."

"Saville. Chloe Saville. Just call me Chloe" I smiled.

"And just call me Frank" he smiled back. "Especially since your German is ....not so..." he wavered his hand. On my confused look he grinned. "It's Boecher" he gave me a look I could best describe as 'parental' ...it was correcting but not scolding. "There's a kind of vowel sound there that ....you don't have in English.... but Butcher is close." he grinned.

I blushed.

"Sorry my dear. I didn't mean to correct you. And I certainly never intended to embarrass you. I really only wanted to say, please... call me Frank."

"Not Frrrrrank?" I said, rolling my 'R's and meekly looking up at him with the trace of a grin.

He slapped his hand on the table and bellowed to the counter in front of everyone "I LIKE this girl!"

Zoe looked mortified. Everyone in the shop looked confused. I probably just looked startled. I shot Zoe an apologetic look but she shrugged it off. I guess she was used to being publicly embarrassed by her father.

We talked for about 10 minutes. Mostly about me. And I told him the truth. Mostly. Just substituting Chloe for Tom. I told him about my schooling and my jobs and how I met Zoe through Tina, whom he had already met and pre-approved. So I guess I passed the audition.

Frank clasped my hands, expressing his pleasure at meeting me, and bade me goodbye until next we met. He was an absolute gentleman and a charmer. I could see why he was such a successful bigwig. He went up to the counter, exchanged some quiet words with Zoe and waved as he left to his waiting limo.

Zoe shot me a smile and a nod. I probably could have left then, but I had all day, so I lingered until her next break.

"You're in." She smiled. “As Tina and I both expected, he fucking loves you."

I smiled. Relieved.

"So when do you want to do this? My dad says the place can be ready by next week?”

Suddenly things were moving very fast.

***

Dale and Colin took it well. REALLY well. Apparently they knew this guy Toby who was way more into X-Box and MMA and surfing nasty homemade porn than I was, so they were more than happy to trade me out for him. They hadn't had the heart to kick me out... especially since I always had my portion of the rent on time and always covered for them when they didn't. And I was the only one who ever cleaned around the apartment. It wasn't altruism. It was enlightened self interest. I was not going to die of salmonella, botulism or toxic mold just because my roommates were incorrigible slobs. Once I agreed to pay my share of next month's rent as a 'severance fee' they were all 'have a nice life'.

So, I raided my meager savings and rented a van. It's not as if I had much to move anyway. I didn't have much space at my old place, so it was just one of those Japanese sleep cushions, my PC gear and art supplies, then clothes and accessories. It hit me that 95% of my possessions apart from my bed, computer and art gear, were Chloe's. Truth be told, Tom didn't need much. A half dozen logo tees, one pair of jeans, a pair of dockers and collared shirt for 'formal' occasions. Two pairs of athletic shoes and 'good' leather shoes for previously mentioned formal occasions.

It only took three trips to get everything moved. As the junior roomie, I got the bedroom left over after Zoe & Tina chose. Still, I was delighted. It was over twice the size of my old room and had the most decadent walk in closet with a pull-out shoe rack that would have made Imelda Marcos weep.

The 'model home' was the first built on the development and represented the no-holds-barred luxury model with all of the options. It seemed good sales technique to show people the ultimate, then make them choose which amenities to deprive themselves of to pinch a penny or two. Now that the development was fully sold, the model home was no longer needed. Still, for complicated zoning or permitting reasons, it was un-sellable without major renovations. And, Tina told me Zoe's dad got major tax advantages by having a company presence on site. So, technically the model home was a corporate site office with live-in caretakers... us.

Tina also confided that Zoe's dad really didn't approve of his daughter's wild child lifestyle and wanted to get more stabilizing influences in her life. Zoe had been rebellious from around age eleven, and recently moved in with Zack, her current boyfriend. They lived in an apartment over his tatoo and piercing shop. She mostly did it to piss off her dad, but it got to be too much for even her. Zack, she finally realized, was a meth head. He and his friends partied constantly when they weren't working downstairs. And sometimes even then. When Zoe caught Zack cooking, she reached her limit. She swallowed her pride and took her dad up on his offer.

I was the first moved in, and since I had the van for the rest of the day, I offered to help Tina move too. An offer she gladly accepted. Since I was doing the moving in 'Tom mode', Tina got lots of lewd comments from the other girls in her dorm. I found it funny because Tom was no stud. 5 foot 6 with a gymnast's body, Tom never got second glances from the ladies. Or anyone. Except bouncers. No one believed my I.D. wasn't a fake. I had far less trouble with Chloe's genuinely fake I.D. I think the dorm girls were doing it not because I was remotely studly, but because Tina was so embarrassed by the teasing. They kept joking that Tina was moving in with her sexy hot sweetie. Me. ….Tom.... I couldn't squelch my grin, because in a way they couldn't imagine, she was.

I thought that since it had been her dad's place, and she had been sofa-surfing since walking out on her meth-head boyfriend, Zoe would be the first to move in. But there still wasn't a speck of her stuff.

She was waiting at the house when Tina and I pulled up in the van.

“So.... Tom....” she couldn't say it without smirking. Need to work with her on that. “..how long do you have the van?”

I shrugged. “I'm supposed to have it back in the morning. 9AM.”

Zoe grinned. “So you have it all night?”

I nodded, wary of where this was going.

“Wanna help a girl move?” she asked wickedly.

“Why is my spidey sense tingling?” I smiled. “Sounds like you're planning a heist?”

Zoe got serious. “It's not a heist! It's MY goddamn stuff. He's being an asshole about it. I've gotta get it back before he sells everything.”

“So you are planning a heist.” I grinned.

“We're NOT stealing anything! It's my stuff!” Zoe was getting really wound up.

“Chill. I'm messing with you.” I smiled. “But I'm guessing that the only way you're getting your stuff back is by taking it.”

Zoe nodded angrily. “Shithead got all 'fuck you bitch' when I stopped bankrolling him and his loser friends.” She crossed her arms and her body language was a mix of ferocity and deep, deep hurt and betrayal.

“So are we talking Mission Impossible spidering down through the ceiling here?” I grinned. It worked. Her mood lightened.

“That would be cool.” she smirked. “I'm hella into ropes and pulleys and shit....”

I just shot her a look, trying to wrap my head around her twisted sense of humor.

She sighed. “But all that shit, and the rest of my stuff is in shithead Zack's place.”

I was beginning to sense that she wasn't entirely joking.

“I figure we can eat, watch a movie or two, prep and do the deed.” She said as casually as if she were discussing her grocery list. “T.... you in?” she called out. Tina nodded yes.

“Why do I feel like someone in a caper film where they're planning the big heist?” I asked with a worried smile.

Zoe smiled back. “It's not a heist! I told you bitch.” She grinned, then shot me a scowl. “Oh. Sorry bro.”

I laughed. “I'll take bitch over bro any day.”

Zoe nodded, relieved, and got back on track. “As I was saying... It's not a heist ….bitch” she shot me a smirk “....it's a fuckin' repo. That's all my stuff. And that asshole and his scumbags aren't going to sell it on me!”

The fire in her voice was impressive. This was someone you did not want to get on the wrong side of. I found myself wondering just how short her fuse was and if I had made a terrible mistake.

“So, I figure we get some food and supplies, watch a movie or two to get psyched, plan out the operation, then go do it.”

“Still feels like a caper movie.” I said to her, expressionless.

She glanced at me with mild annoyance, obviously trying to figure out how to sell me, since I had the van.

I cracked a goofy grin. “I've never been in a caper movie before. Day one and already my life is way more interesting with you two!”

From across the room, Tina laughed. Zoe just looked relieved.

We went out for Indian take-out, swung by Home Depot and marveled as Zoe tore through the place like a commando on a raid. Tina was less surprised. She knew Zoe. I was somewhat stunned as she filled the cart with 'supplies'. Both Tina and I were impressed at Zoe's sheer focus. Then we swung by Zoe's parents house. It was way out in the posh burbs and I had to top the tank in the van to be sure we didn't get stranded coming home from Zack's.

Tina put her hand on my forearm and whispered “you should probably wait here.” I nodded, as that was my intention all along. Tina and Zoe went up to the house and I saw them greeted by a woman I presumed was Zoe's mom. They were inside a while and maybe I zoned out or fell asleep, but I was startled alert by the sound of the van doors opening. I saw the silhouette hauling stuff into the van, so I got out to help and spun around to nearly collide into him.

“Let me take that.” I said, relieving the older guy of the overstuffed box.

“Thanks.” He said and passed it to me. I fitted it into the van and turned back to face an ashen Tina, Zoe and...

“Frank. Frank Boecher. …..Zoe's dad.” He thrust out his right hand. “And you are?....”

“uh...Tom sir. Tom ... uh... Saville.” I replied, startled.

He raised an eyebrow and gave me a curious look.

“Chloe's brother!” Zoe blurted.

Frank opened his mouth to say something, but I cut him off.

“Cousin actually. First cousin. Uncle Don asked me to help her move... and then these two stop-lossed me and I got roped into their missions too.” I smiled.

That seemed to satisfy Frank, who turned to his daughter.

“Zoe. How come I know your housemate is an only child and you don't?” It sounded like an accusation, but by the tone of his voice, it was clear this was the sort of chiding he always did, and Zoe's discomfort was proof that it worked.

“Jeez Dad.... I didn't grill her for her life story. I just needed to know that Tina swore she's good people, you approved, and that she could make rent.” Zoe nearly whined, suddenly seeming nine years old. I knew this was mortifying for her so Tina and I acted distracted, as if we weren't noticing this awkward father daughter interplay.

“So where is Chloe?” Frank asked. The question didn't seem addressed to anyone in particular, so I jumped in.

I shot him a wicked smile. “As payment for the ….moving service.... uncle Don and aunt Phoebe requi....requested she join them for dinner at home and they spend the evening until I got back with the van.” I shot Zoe a grin. “....which looks like it will be a lot longer than she bargained for.”

Frank let out a hearty laugh. “I daresay! Well, good. I'm sure her parents will be delighted by her extended, probably all-too-rare visit. ….And she'll survive... despite what she may think.” And he shot a smug look at his own daughter. Who just squirmed.

I was then brought into the house where I met Zoe's mother Marjorie and joined the group for coffee and snacks. I know it was intended as polite small talk and not an inquisition, but since I had already told Frank the truth about my life, just telling it as Chloe's life, I was kind of forced to pull an alternate bio out of thin air. I made Tom and Chloe first cousins who were born a day apart and whose families were quite close. I hinted that because of the physical proximity and closeness of our families, Chloe and I were raised practically as siblings. And since our ages were so close, we were in many ways, effectively twins. That allowed me to keep much of the broader fabric of Chloe's story for my own, and just pepper enough detail to give Tom a separate, if parallel, life.

I survived the inquisition. Although a few times, I thought the expressions on the faces of Tina and Zoe were going to blow everything.

Zoe's folks were either polite or oblivious. I presume they were polite.

As we were walking back to the van with her parents looking on from the open door, Zoe punched me in the arm.

“Way to go romeo.” she sneered. “....now he's probably gonna want me to fuckin' date you!”

I turned to her with alarm. That HAD to be loud enough for them to hear. She just stared back at me with the dirtiest grin. She put her hand into the small of my back and thrust me forward, almost tripping me. I just turned my recovered near-stumble into a run and sped toward the van, Zoe whooping behind me in pursuit while Tina just laughed from now far behind.

It was quiet on the ride home until Tina broke the silence.

“Well. That went well.” she said primly.

Zoe and I both exploded in laughter.

“Oh, God, I thought I was so dead!” I confessed.

“YOU??? That was MY fuckin' father. I almost shit wondering what he would do to me!” Zoe cackled.

“So now, just like Zoe, her dad has met Chloe AND Tom!” Tina chirped.

“And he fuckin' loves you both!” Zoe rolled her eyes.

I couldn't help but laugh. Mostly from relief.

We got home and unloaded Zoe's care packages from home.

She got to setting up the TV and DVD player while Tina and I set the table and unpacked our Indian take-out.

Over dinner Zoe explained that for the raid on her old boyfriend's place to repossess her stuff we didn't need a plan so much as the right attitude and willingness to improvise in the moment. That was why our 'planning' was to be old heist movies.

Sure enough, we plowed through nearly a dozen movies, never getting to watch them all the way through. Zoe would just skip to the heist part and comment on things she liked or disliked in their burglary technique.

When she popped in the DVD of Disney's misguided “Mr Magoo” movie, I thought she made a mistake. But she shushed Tina and me as she fast forwarded to the heist scene.

When I saw Kelly Lynch in that 'sexy ninja' getup flying down from the ceiling of a cavernous museum like an elegant spider descending on her web, I knew I had triggered this image flashback in Zoe's mind with my earlier joking reference to the original Mission Impossible film.

“THAT is how I want to see you do it!”Zoe grinned at me from ear to ear.

“How high IS this guy's ceiling?” I asked, unable to hide my amusement. “...AND... I'm presuming he has a skylight.... or at the very least an HVAC junction box nestled into a dropped ceiling....”

Zoe pouted. “No. Just a stock shithole apartment over his shop on Tanner Ave. It's only a three story building , so we could drop through the ceiling. But we'd have to cut a hole through the roof....” Suddenly her eyes sparkled. “Did you ever see Terry Gilliam's 'Brazil'?”

I smiled and nodded. “Merry Christmas, Mr Buttle!” I laughed.

“God, that was my favorite movie as a kid!” Zoe got a faraway look for a moment then refocused.

“Um. That wasn't a kids movie.” I gently corrected.

Zoe smiled from ear to ear. “I know. My parents just saw it was a movie from that guy who did 'Time Bandits' so they thought 'for kids' and shoved me the video to keep me out of their hair.” She laughed.

I was beginning to better understand why my new housemate gave off a grown-up-Wednesday-Addams vibe

Then Zoe's face fell again. “That's how I'd LIKE to do it. Leaving a gaping hole in ass-brain's fucking ceiling. But we're probably better off just going in from the fire escape.”

We watched Zoe's movie playlist 'to get psyched for the job' she insisted, but it really helped us pass the time until it was late enough that all the stores on the old retail block would be closed and the people who lived in the apartments above them were too drunk, passed out or otherwise messed up to notice our little guerrilla 'repo action'.

When I asked Zoe if she ever did any performance art, she startled and asked why I would ask such a random question. I smiled and told her the outfits she had chosen for the 'operation' seemed a bit theatrical. She insisted that the all black outfits were extremely practical. I agreed, adding that they were practically theatrical. She just scowled and began ignoring my playful teasing.

I suggested the reason she wanted Chloe along on 'the heist' as I tauntingly referred to it, was because she had a Charlie's Angel's script playing in her edgy little mind. She shrugged it off, but didn't bother with a rebuttal.

“The reason I want Chloe along, is if we DO run into trouble, it will probably be easier for her to bat her eyes and talk her way out of any incriminating situations.”

I nodded. I did not want to get caught, but I figured getting caught as Chloe was the lesser of two evils, and I was more likely to talk my way out of something sketchy. Especially since I felt infinitely more comfortable and confident as Chloe than Tom.

We drove to the near abandoned part of oldtowne where 'dirtbag Zack' had his shop. It was within staggering distance of a few dive bars, but the streets were empty.

I pulled the van into the alley behind the building, squeezing in behind an overflowing dumpster and a loading dock stacked with empty wood pallets. This hid the van from anyone peering in from the street.

I thought we were going to climb the fire escape, but instead, Zoe told us to wait with the van and walked around the corner to the street.

About 5 minutes later she called to us from a third floor window. Tina and I clambered up the rickety fire escape and joined Zoe in dirtbag Zacks.

I nearly climbed back out the window instantly.

“Oh my God! What's that stench?” It burned like ammonia.

Zoe gave a bitter smile. “He's been cooking again. I opened all the windows to air the place out, but it will take a while. Meanwhile, use these.”

Tina and I stared at her as she handed us a pair of rather severe looking gas masks.

“Wow. You really thought of everything.” Tina laughed.

Zoe shook her head. “Nah. They were with my stuff. That idiot never even noticed them. He probably burned out half his lungs cooking his shit before he had the good sense to leave.”

“So how did you get in so easy?” Tina asked. “I remember your fight at work where you threw your housekey at him and nearly took his eye out.”

Zoe cocked her head and gave Tina a look that seemed to say 'Seriously?'

My laugh just slipped out. Both turned to me. Tina with curiosity. Zoe expectantly.

“Have you ever been to a locksmith?” I smiled. “Or even the hardware counter at WalMart? Zoe was not going to give away her only key when all her stuff was locked in here.”

Zoe nodded, pleased that she didn't need to explain.

“I figured that shitbrain wouldn't think of that.” Then her grin got positively wicked.

“Even better.... I have some pricey shit in those bins, and this isn't the greatest neighborhood, so I insisted on installing a security system. Ass-hat Zack figured it would keep his shit safe too.... even before he got the idiot notion to MacGuyver his own methlab.” Her humor was turning to ire, but she pulled it back and grinned again. “Thing is, he has NO fuckin' clue how it works and never cared. He let me do all the installation and learning how to program it. He just wanted to know the keycode.” Her eyes crinkled and she beamed a grin that was so out of place on her austere face. “....which I just fuckin' changed!”

Tina and I grinned at the thought that she didn't just break into her exes apartment, she changed the codes so that HE couldn't get into it without summoning the police.

Since it was apparent that Zack had left until the toxic stench dissipated, we knew we had time to leisurely and carefully move Zoe's stuff.

Zoe had a LOT of stuff. Mostly packed in plastic storage bins and some in metal road cases like a rock band or traveling theater company.

“What on earth is IN all this?” I asked rhetorically after moving the I-lost-count-long-ago travel case.

“If you're really nice, maybe someday I'll show you.” she purred with a twinkle in her eye that sent a wary shiver down my spine.

We managed to get everything out before sunup and barely got the van emptied before I had to get it to the rental place.

I topped the tank and parked it in the return area. I brought my paperwork in to the guy behind the desk and he shot me a long hard look.

“Where is.... Tom Saville?”

Oh crap! I was so exhausted I totally spaced. I rented the van as Tom, but after moving all night I just touched up my makeup and wearily returned the van.

The adrenaline cut through my fatigue like a welding torch to butter. I frantically fished around in my purse and pulled out my fake I.D.

“I'm his sister Chloe.” I smiled apologetically. “He was helping me move. We just finished a few hours ago, and the poor guy was so exhausted, I didn't have the heart to wake him. And I didn't want him to get penalized for bringing the van back late... so I figured after all his help, the least I could do was return the... um....”

“Only the individual who rents the vehicle is supposed to drive it.” he said sternly. “There's an extra fee and paperwork for additional drivers” He again looked at the license in his hand, turning it over and seeming to examine it. It was a good fake so I wasn't too worried. I think he was just being dramatic. He closed his hand over the license and took the keys I'd just handed in, slipping from behind the counter.

“Let's go examine the vehicle.” he said curtly, shoving my paperwork onto his clipboard and marching out to the lot.

He did a thorough inspection. A really thorough inspection. I felt like a cadet at a military school. I think all his officiousness was just for show.

He wrote down the odometer, checked the tank - which wasn't full when I got the van, but was now topped. I gave him a weak smile and got a nod for that. He walked around and examined it inside and out. This guy was thorough. He'd have made a great doctor or police detective. Finally, he stopped, harumphed, and beckoned me with his head tilt as we walked back inside.

“Everything seems to be in order.” He said curtly. “Still... there is the matter of the third party driver....” He shot me a slight scowl.

I blushed and shot him an apologetic look. “I didn't know. I was just trying to do a favor..”

He stamped the paperwork and handed me the customer copy while adding his pile to a stack.

“This never happened.” He said to me with a blank expression. I returned his pokerface with my own grateful smile. “And don't let it happen again.”

I nodded. He finally cracked the smallest of smiles.
“Have a nice day Miss.”

I nodded back, returning a smile of relief and quickly hurried out to catch the bus home.
When I returned, the place was littered with Zoe's 'tour cases'. Suddenly the once empty house didn't seem so cavernous. I shuffled to my room like a zombie and face planted in my bed.

When I finally woke to the sounds of constructive cacophony, it was past 4PM.
I staggered downstairs to see Tina barely able to control a giant floor buffer that seemed to have a mind of its own while Zoe was power-drilling into the walls and pounding in mounts for a huge flatscreen.

Both stopped their noisy activity when they noticed me staggering down the stairs.

“Afternoon sleeping beauty.” Tina teased.

“WHO slept in their makeup?...” Zoe taunted.

I just wiped the sleep from my eyes. Or maybe it was caked mascara. “...So shoot me...” I groggily replied.

They both laughed and warned that as soon as I was caffeinated and showered, I was being conscripted to the Martha Stewart brigade of the domestic goddess squad.
I gave a weary grin and went to wake myself fully. I was actually looking forward to helping. It was my place too now. I wanted a say in how things were set up.
**
We made a lot of progress. The place looked ...settled... as if we had lived there for years. The kitchen was all set up and I offered to cook us dinner. I hadn't cooked since I left home. Colin & Dale were greasy takeout guys, and our community refrigerator was an oversized beer cooler. Any time I'd try to put actual groceries in the vegetable crisper or the freezer, I would return home to find it unceremoniously tossed and the space taken with more beer or frozen bottles of Jagermeister.
It was a joy to cook again. I found I had missed it. After querying my roommates on their dietary restrictions - or downright quirks – I made a quick grocery run and tore into the kitchen.

Since our new home was in a posh development, it was a 'duh' moment to realize how close we were to Trader Joe's and Wholefoods. We would eat well and healthy, for less than my old roommates spent on pizza and hotwings.

The pan seared tilapia fillets and caramelized shallots, in my own secret braise – which actually came from a botched curry attempt, was a big hit. Perhaps too big a hit. Zoe proposed that I be the 'official chef' of the household. An 'honor' which I deftly dodged.
I was more than happy to make the first dinner in our new home, which I owed to the generosity of my housemates. And they seemed delighted with my ….unorthodox... approach to 'conventional' recipes. But I was not going to be immediately branded the Rachael Ray, Paula Dean, Barefoot Contessa or whatever foodie stereotype of our domestic triad. I would gladly share the cooking duties, and in fact I loved experimenting in the kitchen – which my housemates may come to rue – but I was not going to be the “Hi Honey, what's for dinner?” member of this household, and I made that clear in my own passive/aggressive way.

Tina was instantly cool with it. Zoe pouted a bit and warned us if we insisted on sharing the cooking duties than we waived our right to bitch about her choices on the nights it was her duty. Tina and I both laughed and readily agreed. I could politely pretend I wasn't hungry if Zoe tried to make a point and serve us something truly foul.

Tina cleared the table with me and helped with the dishes. Zoe fled immediately after espressos and gellato to go to her room and unpack her (re)posessions.

“So how does it feel?” Tina asked. I shot her a look, not quite sure of the question. “You're home now. Zoe and I both now about Chloe and Tom, so you're free to be yourself.”

I smiled and nodded. “Yeah. It's great. It will take a while to sink in.... so many things have changed....but it is a relief.”

Tina returned my smile. “So take advantage of the freedom. Relax. Be yourself.”

“....I think I am relaxed.... aren't I?” I smiled uncertainly.

“No. I mean be yourself.... be your real self.” she smiled warmly.

I'm sure my confusion showed. She regarded me for along moment, furrowed her brow, and finally let out a long sigh.

“Go be Tom.” she smiled warmly.

Now I was certain my perplexity showed. I just stared at Tina for the longest time until I finally processes it.

“Oh God. You think I'm F2M?”

Now it was Tina's turn to look lost.

“You think Chloe's been struggling her whole life to become Tom?” I'm afraid my smile may have betrayed my wry amusement.

Tina just stared at me blankly. She was now as lost as I had been moments before.
I couldn't suppress my laughter. I tried putting my hands over my mouth to cap it like an oil well, but I could not stop it.

“Oh God. You think I was born and branded female and struggled all my life to be Tom?”

Tina was really confused and I could see the emotion welling up on her face.

“Oh, God sweetie. NO!..... but thank you so much for the accidental compliment.... I'm not F2M.... female to male..... I'm M2F.... I'm trying to shed Tom and build a life as Chloe!”

Tina just stood there. Stunned. Processing.

“You mean you were born Tom... and grew up as Tom... and Chloe is...?”

I nodded. “The real me.”

Tina shook herself. “I thought.... I thought you were....”

“...A trans man?”

She nodded. “I mean. I've met some trans men. And when I met Tom and you showed me the....”

“..Tramp stamp.” I sighed.

“Yeah... I thought you were a genetic woman in the early stages of transition to male. I mean physically... you're pretty feminine....”

I nodded, smiling.

“...but your ...attitude... as Tom... it was a really convincing masculine attitude...”

“I've had a lifetime to practice.” I sighed.

“So, I saw this really masculine demeanor coming from this small, slender body... and when I realized Chloe and Tom were the same person.... I thought... Trans Man.” she blushed.

I smiled. I had never knowingly been mistaken for a Trans Man, but found it oddly flattering.

“So I had to live as Tom with my housemates, who I knew since middle school. And at work, since all my paperwork is Tom's.... except my fake I.D.” I winked. “And they weren't jobs I wanted to keep for a lifetime. They could last as long as Tom did. Which I hoped was not too terribly much longer.”

Tina nodded. The blush was fading.

I squirmed slightly. “So, does this change anything?” I asked with grave uncertainty.

Tina took a moment and shook her head. “No. I guess not. I'm surprised.... but I don't see how it should matter....”

I relaxed a bit.

“Zoe and I are both cool with Tom AND Chloe. So it's no big deal if we see more of one as time goes on.” Tina said with a warm smile.

“Well, Tom can do things like rent moving vans, so he won't be going away any time soon.” I said with mild distaste.

“And Chloe is a crazy good cook, and a badass bitch in her black catsuit doing B&E. ” she grinned.

I rolled my eyes. “I can't believe I let Zoe talk me into that.”

“You saw the movies she was watching to get in the mood to raid dirtbag Zack's.” she laughed. “After both Charlie's Angels and Heroic Trio did you think she was going to let you come on the raid in a frilly sundress? I've known Zoe a lot longer than you but you must know once she fixates on something, there's no talking her out of it. Just be thankful it was only that silly pleather catsuit.”

I snorted and shook my head. It was my first day in my new home and already my housemate was becoming a bad influence.