People have different amounts of masculinity and femininity in their personality from both nature and nurture, but maybe these sex referencing, all encompassing terms are too vague. Maybe personality traits should be described more specifically with terms like supportiveness, compassion, sensitivity, empathy, etc. Sex labeled traits are too loaded and could seem to conflict with more common, socially stereotyped behavioral terms like manliness, girlyness, etc.

I think gender identity is more binary and biological, not completely of course. Some claim to be bigenderal, gender queer or gender fluid. Part of these might be ego gratifying, seeking attention, etc., but some could be describing themselves accurately. They seem, however to be a tiny minority, of that ID persisting into adulthood.

It might correspond to genital form; most people have either a penis or vagina. Intersex and other causes might create female parts that look male and vice versa; these conditions were called, in the past, male or female pseudohermaphroditism (sort of demeaning terms....). These forms aren't all that rare, however having both a penis and vagina, 'true hermaphroditism', is very rare.

The brain's gender or gender ID starts differentiating much later in fetal development than physical sex and seems more easily affected by transitory hormone imbalance in the mother. E.G. It seems those moms who took DES, supposedly to prevent miscarriage, around 1950, ended up with lots of Tgal kids as well as daughters with much greater cancer risks to their reproductive track. Studies of Tgal brains show features just the same as in female brains, not halfway in-between.

Having a male or female gender ID is often (at least) hard wired, but this doesn't determine sex role or social gender performance or expression all that much. Wimyn, given more flexibility in presentation in our society, can be very butch and act guy-like, but still know they are female. Most of these are lesbian, but some are het or asexual, so their presentation is not (always) driven by sexual attraction/mate seeking. Gay (boy) TVs like appearing fem, but are attracted to gay men and like their genitals and don't want them changed. Some TGs might start on this route and think they're gay, but then discover their maleness was just a facade.

I think social gender expression might satisfy other needs in TVs, XDs, etc. It's not like one saying to oneself: 'I know I've always been a girl (or boy); I've known it since I was old enough to know the difference'.

To your characters, their gender ID might not matter much anymore. (I guess) they are comfortable with themselves, know and like themselves and who they are as people and in a loving and comfortable situation, don't worry about it.

Heck, I hope this makes some sense. It keeps getting harder for me to write ...