Part 8

I stand there gobsmacked.

"Jessie, what are you doing here?" She struggles to her feet; she looks thin and unwashed.

"I came here to see you," she says, her voice broken and uneven.

"You came to see what you did to me," I snap, clenching my fists. "You came to laugh!"

"No!" Her voice is shaky, I can see the fear in her eyes. "The website wasn't me. It was Pui!" I shake my head in disbelief.

"Why should I believe you?" I ask, thinking of Pui, the quiet girl who hangs around with the popular kids.

"Why would I come here if it wasn't true?" She wrings her hands together, almost begging me to believe her. I see her hair is unwashed, matted to her head by sweat and dirt.

"It was still my fault." I’m shocked - I've never heard Jessie admit to anything before. "I think she did it to impress me." We both turn as a light comes on in the hallway. A shadow approaches the door.

"I have a message from Poppy," Jessie hisses, her eyes wild with desperation. Do I trust her?

"Quick," I say pointing to behind the tree, "there's a gazebo in the garden. Hide there and I'll sneak you in when they go to bed." Lily meets me at the door.

"Did I hear you speaking to someone?"

"Just saying goodbye to Andi," I say, hoping this covers it; she approves of Andi.

"I didn't hear a car." My heart sinks, she’s suspicious.

"Suzy's dad parked further up the road. Easier to turn around," I add as an explanation.

Lily doesn't seem totally convinced and glances up the road as I dart in the house. Thankfully she drops it once I’m inside. I wait in my bedroom, listening to the sounds from downstairs. Usually Lily comes up around ten, half ten-ish with Edward following at eleven. However, my late return has disrupted their routine and it’s gone midnight before I dare creep downstairs. With my new, much lighter body weight it’s easy for me to move silently. Even so, I glance at Lily and Edward's bedroom door as I move. There’s no light coming from underneath it, so hopefully they’re asleep.

I reach the kitchen - so far, so good, but this was the easy part. If I had been stopped I could have claimed to be searching for a nighttime snack. Lily’s always on at me about my eating too much ('fat girls don't get good husbands'); she'd easily believe I was snacking.

I go into the utility room and try to reach for the backdoor key. It’s too high up and I have to find the little wooden step ladder the cleaner uses for the windows. It scrapes along the floor as I more it. I stop, frozen with fear convinced it would have been heard upstairs. I daren't move, not even to breath for what seems like and age but I don't hear anyone getting up. Pull yourself together girl, I tell myself, you’re doing this for Poppy.

Unlocking the back door I venture out onto the little step, feeling the cold of the stone through my slippers. I get out my phone and turn it to torch mode, flashing it in the direction of the gazebo. I pray Lily has shut the curtains. At first nothing happens, then I see a dark figure emerging from the gazebo. Jessie moves quickly, bent over in what I guess is the hope it will make her less visible. I doubt it will, but she reminds me of films I've seen of panthers on the prowl at night.

"I was starting to think you'd fallen asleep," she whispers when she gets to the door, then with a little smile she says, "Nice bunny PJs."

I look down realising I am wearing the stupid pyjamas Lily bought me. I was so focused on the message from Poppy I was hardly aware I put them on. Even I have to grin.

"I'm not quite the rock chick you once knew." She laughs; it’s odd all that time I hated her I didn't realise she had such a nice laugh. She starts to talk but I shush her.

"Wait till we’re upstairs," I whisper. As she creeps in I start rummaging through the kitchen
cupboards.

"What are you doing?" she asks, seeing me pull out fruit, as well as chocolate from Lily's personal stash (the one she thinks I don't know about). "Are you planning a midnight feast?"

"It's for you, I'm going to feed you up." I smile at her. Who would have thought I’d be so happy to see my old nemesis? This is how desperate I am for news from Manchester. We creep upstairs - I feel reassured when I hear Edward's snoring but jump halfway out of my skin when I hear one of them turning over. Finally though we reach my bedroom door and creep in. Once the door is locked I go put my dressing gown down over the gap at the bottom and then switch on my bedside light. Jessie whistles.

"Nice place you've got here - big."

I nod, my stomach in knots wanting to know what Poppy has sent. Seeming to get the idea Jessie rummages around in her jacket pulling out a few crumpled pieces of notepaper. She hands them to me with great ceremony and I take them like they contain the whole of my future in them. In a way I suppose they do. I can hardly read the words as my eyes race over them. I catch phrases like 'I love you' and 'I miss you so much'. It’s pure joy to see her handwriting, with its neatness and big friendly loops; it’s almost like talking to her.

"Is that an en-suite bathroom?" Jessie asks, I just nod hardly able to tear my eyes away from the letter. "I'll just make use of it," she mutters giving me some privacy. Finally I’m calm enough to read the letter properly. Poppy tells me how much she misses me, how angry she is at what has happened. She tells me she was inconsolable when she got my email, and how sorry she is that she didn't reply straight away. It took her a few days to get it together and when she tried emailing it just bounced back and her texts wouldn't send. She explains how she confronted Jessie when Greta told her about the 'slut-shaming' website and how they worked out it was Pui who did it, not Jessie. I have only just stopped crying when Jessie re-enters the room.

"How could she do this?" I ask Jessie, feeling close to tears again.

"Don't hate her too much," she says but she can't meet my eyes. "We used to pick on Pui all the time back in the first year. She was this strange kid, her mother from Hong Kong and her dad from New Zealand. Then she started making fun of the other kids. She could always make us laugh so," she shrugs, "we just stopped picking on her." Finally she looks me straight in the eyes. "I created her, made her feel so shitty about herself that she would do this. That's why I had to come and try to make things better."

There’s one subject both Julia and Lily agree on; they both insist on my only wearing skirts and dresses as part of my school uniforms. Possibly they think one day in trousers and my Mark personality will take over? Normally I dawdle when getting ready but today’s different; although I’m not keen to spend another day at St. Anne's I do want to get down to check on Jessie. Passing Lily on the stairs I tell her I’m going down to the boathouse. She eyes me with suspicion.

"What could you possibly want down there?" she asks.

"Science project," I reply, flashing her my sweetest smile, "on what lives in the water. I have to keep a record every day, once in the morning and once in the evening." I spent most of last night coming up with that one.

"Okay, dear, but don't be late and don't mess up your clothes. I have a busy day today and I don't want you to be late." Her busy day probably means a trip to Jeremy the stylist. I knew the excuse would work on her though; school work is the magic bullet with Lily.

I walk past the study on my way out, it’s on the ground floor overlooking the garden. Normally the door would be closed at this time of the day as Edward emails and Skypes his colleagues in other parts of the world, but this time it has been left open. I spot Edward's laptop open on his desktop and an idea pops into my head. I know my laptop must be bugged, or blocked, but they wouldn't have done the same to Edward's. There's no way he would have let them. Suddenly I feel my head go all fuzzy, a little like a migraine. I try to shake it off, unable to concentrate my mind. Only when I get outside in the fresh cool air does it start to go away.

Reaching the boathouse I knock gently on the door. Hearing nothing I look back at the house. I am worryingly exposed but there's no other way in. I take a deep breath and unlock the padlock before slipping in as quietly as possible.

"Jessie?" I whisper. Then realising how useless that is I repeat myself a little louder this time. I hear movement at the back, behind the upturned rowing boat.

"Hi," Jessie says a little nervously. "I thought you were the gardener. He sometimes comes here when he wants a break. He nearly caught me a couple of times."

"Don't worry," I smile at her, "he only comes on Tuesdays." Today is a Thursday. "I brought you some food." I take out the school lunch Lily's cook made me and offer it to her. She takes it from me gratefully. "What will you eat?" she asks earnestly.

"Don't worry about me, they give me plenty of pocket money. I'll just have school dinners." She opens the lid and looks inside. There's some avocado thing, what looks like hummus and dates, some rye bread and a salad with grapes.

"Rich people eat like rabbits," is Jessie's verdict.

"Certainly the women do." I can't imagine either Tom or Edward will be sitting down to salad with grapes for their lunch.

"How do you stand it?" Jessie asks out of the blue.

"Stand what?" I ask.

"Them," she indicates through the wall at the house.

"I just have to, I suppose," I sigh. "There's not much I can do. I’m just biding my time. I think, before you got here, I was broken. Clinging on to little things like seeing Julia once a month."

Jessie nods. She looks so scared and vulnerable I find myself forgiving her for all her past transgressions. She's just a kid, although legally she’s now three years my senior.

"No one should take you away from your mother," she spits and there’s real venom in her voice. I realise I never asked her about her mother.

"How is your mum?"

Jessie fights back what looks like some pretty powerful emotions. "She's been sent back to the hospital. Stupid fucking store bitch shouldn't have ratted on her!" Her voice is raised and I worry someone will hear.

"Is there anyone looking after you?" I ask, feeling guilty that I was so caught up in my own shit I never asked before.

"I told them Aunt Sophie would take me in but she hates mum and never would." Jessie sniffs, a completely different girl to the hard case I remember from Whalley Range. "At least she'll tell the social I’m with
her."

"Won't they check up?" I put a hand on her arm as if to steady her.

"They wanted to put me with a foster family when mum went off her meds two years ago. They won't care now I'm sixteen. They don't have enough people to go around checking, not properly. Aunt Sophie will just say I went down the shops when they call around."

As sad as it sounds I know she’s right. We hug for a little while before I remember the time. "Shit, I better get back to the house. Lily will kill me."

As turn to leave Jessie mutters something. "Sorry, didn't catch that?"

"I said your hair looks nice." Jessie looks embarrassed.

"What?" I'm taken by surprise.

"Long, I mean. It suits you." It’s just a little gesture but I have to turn away to avoid showing my tears to my erstwhile enemy.

"Thanks," I say in a small voice, "and thanks for coming." I turn back and look at her. "I really mean it."

School is buzzing with news about the play. Mrs Turner will put up the cast outside her office at lunchtime. Andi looks a little down in the mouth, so I ask her why.

"You and Lotte are bound to get parts," she huffs kicking at the floor with her shoes. I can see why she would be worried. There are a lot of girls wanting to get in and if we both get parts and she doesn't that would mean us spending a lot of time together without her.

"If you aren't in then I wont do it," I say to reassure her. I mean it too. I had agreed to signing up for the play as a way to get away from Lily and Edward. Since Jessie has turned up there’s less reason for me to be away from the house.

"Don't be silly, you should do it," says Andi, although she looks a little happier.

The lessons in the morning are boring. I enjoy maths the least. I can't help looking out the window thinking about Poppy's voice, what it'd be like to hear it again. I hate the idea of her being upset and I'm not sure I’m strong enough to call her. The teacher starts drawing some equations on the whiteboard which we’re supposed to copy down. I'm just glad there's no need to work anything out. I can let my mind wander. The clock on the wall says it is half an hour until lunch. I could swear it has gone backwards.

Finally the bell calls out lunch. The teacher tries to tell us about the homework we need to complete, but struggles over the din. It’s noisier than usual with at least half the class wanting to know if they got in the play, and the other half just as interested in finding out who’s in and who isn’t. I’m caught up in the crowd as we pour out into the corridor. One girl, Shamshad, tells me excitedly she thinks I'll be Daisy. I’m a little taken aback as we've not spoken more than two words since I started. Several other girls join in; evidently, news of my performance has spread. As we get to the drama department I notice Tina waiting nervously. Her normal bravado has disappeared and she’s biting a nail. I spot Lotte and Andi.

"Hey," I greet them. "Any news?"

"No, the names aren't up yet." Lotte sounds like she’s waiting to see a casualty list from a bloody battle. The volume shoots up as Mrs Turner comes out of her office carrying two large sheets of paper. The crowd surges forward causing Mrs Turner to warn that if we don't get back she wont be able to put the cast list up. We stand in respectful, but impatient, silence as she prints the two sheets of paper. The names on the list are separated into two categories, main cast and supporting cast. Shamshad squeals and turns around to me.

"I knew it," she says breathlessly, "you’re Daisy!"

A mutter of surprise and excitement passes through the gaggle of girls. As the others surge forward I’m pleased to catch a glimpse of Lotte's name next to Myrtle Wilson. I am even more pleased when I see Andi's
beaming face as she returns from the board.

"What did you get?" I have no time to dwell on how girlish and high my voice sounds.

"Oh, just one of the extras in the party scene," she smiles coyly. "But hey, I get all the fun dressing like a flapper and I don't even have to learn any boring lines," she jokes. I laugh but a part of me starts to panic. Do I really have any time to learn lines when I should be devoting my time to finding a way to get back to Poppy?

Lily is as pleased as a dog with two dicks when I tell her.

"My daughter, the actress," she says cupping my face in her hands. Her expression has so much softness in it I almost forget to hate her for a moment. She doesn't seem to notice the emotional turmoil inside me and goes off to phone Edward. "He can take us both out to dinner tonight," she coos, "maybe to that lovely little Italian place in Abingdon."

"I’m just going out to the boathouse," I call to her, glad she’s distracted.

I’m nearly at the back door with a bottle of lemonade and some leftovers from the fridge when she calls out, "Don't forget to change first." I huff and storm upstairs in typical teenage style. After changing into a long grey jumper and flowery leggings I head back downstairs. I look down and see how flat my crotch looks in the leggings. Sighing, I try to pull the jumper down to cover it. I notice I left the food and drink on the kitchen counter. Damn, I need to be more careful.

When I get to the boathouse I find Jessie isn't there. My heart’s in my mouth; where could she be? Looking around the building I see no signs of where she's gone. I take out the secret 'burner' phone with Poppy's number in it. I am glad we had the foresight to put Jessie's number in there as well. I type out a quick message asking if she's okay, then I send another one saying I am leaving the food under the upturned rowing boat. There's no immediate reply. Lily catches me as I return to the house.

"Daddy will be back in about an hour, then we'll head out," she smiles. "I put out that lovely green tulip dress for you to wear." My mind goes back to the horror of clothes shopping with her. "Why don't you jump into the shower and then maybe I could help put your hair into an updo?" I grunt my agreement as there's no point arguing. Anyway, it gives me an idea. I take a towel and head into the en suite bathroom off my bedroom. Once inside I take out the secret phone and dial Poppy; it rings for a while before she picks up.

"Hi," I say, almost in a whisper.

"Hi," she says back and I feel myself melting at the sound of her voice.

The restaurant is fancy but laid back - the sort of place rich people call ‘bohemian’ but real bohemians couldn't afford in a million years. Edward is a little narky, having had to wait while Lily and I changed. I don't think it helps that the waiter pays special attention to both Lily and myself. His ingratiating manner gets on my nerves as well and I don't like the way he puts his arm around my waist to lead me to our table.

Across from our table is a large family with three sons, ranging from early to late teens and one pre-teen girl. The eldest son, I'd put his age at about fifteen or maybe a young looking sixteen, keeps checking me out. He's a prep school type and doesn't seem at all worried that I can see him looking. I tug at the material of my dress wishing I’d worn something a little baggier. No one else seems to mind his staring so I just try and ignore it and eventually I can block it out.

The meal is nice enough. As Mark I couldn't really enjoy Italian food due to a mild intolerance to lactose; Emma’s (or Chloe's) body is more resilient in this respect if nothing else.

"So, I've got some news," Edward says.

"Really, dear, what's that?" Lily then turns her attention to me. "Don't eat so fast dear. It’s unladylike." Before I can say anything Edward continues.

"We've been doing a little work with a firm in Palo Alto, California. They’ve asked for me to come over in the summer and I thought we could make a summer holiday of it." Lily claps her hands together.

"That’s wonderful! Oh, Chloe you’re going to love San Francisco and Disneyland too. Or is it Disney World? I can never remember which is which." I feel a little annoyed at having been relegated to the kids’ attraction. I look up and see Prep Boy smirking at me, clearly enjoying my humiliation. I give him a dirty look back. How will I see Julia if I'm thousands of miles away; how will I keep in contact with Poppy? When we get back home I run upstairs and retrieve the secret phone, which I hid behind a couple of books on my shelf. I see there's a reply from Jessie.

Jessie: Thnk I've fnd smting. Going to chck it out. I'll tll all whn I'm bck Sun.

I read it through a couple of times. Very mysterious.

Saturday morning and I’m hanging out in the kitchen eating cereal in my pyjamas. My laptop is open and I'm watching old episodes of Danger Mouse. Edward’s out playing golf with his friends and Lily’s at the gym doing some sort of spin class. They’ll both be out till dinnertime. I hear the doorbell ringing but don't make much of it. It’s most likely a delivery. Lily’s addicted to buying crap over the internet; I guess it gets her through the long days when I'm in school and Edward’s at work. I hear Lena, who cleans the house on weekends, talking to someone but I don't pay much attention. A couple of minutes later, however, my ears start to burn when I’m sure I hear the name 'Chloe' mentioned. Seconds later I hear footsteps and then Lena enters the room.

"Ms Chloe," she says in her Polish accent, "there's a Mr Billy here to see you." Lena speaks good English but in a very formal manner. I wonder if that's what Lily likes about her?

"Billy?!" I say slightly shocked. I realise I must look a complete sight in the Hello Kitty PJs Julia bought for me all those months ago. I put my arms around my body as if protecting myself from his invisible gaze. "What does he want?" I say, realising how ridiculous I must sound.

"To see you," Lena smiles at me knowingly. She must think my nerves are down to a crush.

"Okay, okay, let me think." There's no way for me to get upstairs without going past the hall where he'll be waiting. I figure out a plan.

"Can you ask him to wait in the living room?" I see the smile on Lena's face getting even broader. "Tell him I'll only be five minutes." I wait in the kitchen until I hear Lena taking Billy into the living room. Then I wait another couple of minutes for Lena to leave, closing the door. Once she has I make a dash for the stairs only to crash into the back of Billy as he comes out of the living room.

"You don't need to get me a Coke, Lena, really I’m fine…" I feel my face burning hot. "Urm, er hi," I say, unable to look him the face.

"Oh, hi Chloe, great PJs." Damn, damn, damn. If I could I'd melt away right there.

"Thanks. Mum bought them for me, I didn't pick them." I feel stupid trying to pass the blame.

"No they suit you," he says with that lop sided grin of his. "Look, I was thinking of getting the bus into Oxford to see the new Marcel Dzama exhibition at Modern Art Oxford and I thought maybe you might like to come?" Now it’s his turn to look sheepish.

"Sure," I say. It actually does sound great. A proper adult activity. A thought hits me. "Why didn't you call or text first?"

"Well, I figured it would be harder for you to say no to my face, and I would never have had the chance to see you in your PJs." There's something very attractive about his mixture of confidence and shyness. I wonder if there's anyway I can get him together with Andi, or maybe Lotte?

"Alright cheeky," I grin, "wait here while I change."

The sun is up and apart from a cool breeze it’s actually quite warm. I feel funny standing at the bus stop waiting to go somewhere; normally it’s just a place to hang out. Billy is relaxed, leaning against the wall talking about some fight that happened at his school. I’m only half listening. I feel strange though, unable to settle. I am constantly aware of how close I am to him and how my clothes are sitting on me. I keep fiddling with the hemline of the short skirt I’m wearing. I'm not sure why I chose it; at first I was meaning to go for my normal jeans, then I changed my mind.

"What are you thinking about?" asks Billy.

"Nothing, just wondering what we’re going to do in Oxford," I cover.

As with many rural services it takes ages for the bus to arrive. The bus is mostly empty as there aren’t many people who rely on public transport in this part of Oxfordshire; mainly teenagers and old people. We pick seats near the back watching as the expensive houses and thick tree trunks go by. The route is a winding one, covering a huge chunk of rural Oxfordshire before meandering into the suburbs of Oxford itself.

Oxford feels different from when I visited it with Lily. Perhaps this is because it’s the weekend, or maybe because the students have come back. It feels more modern and normal. The accents are very different from Manchester but the rhythm of daily life seems familiar.

Modern Art Oxford is a relatively small gallery compared to its grand name. I've hung out in plenty of contemporary art venues back when I was Mark; living in East London they were hard to avoid. Modern Art Oxford seems pretty much what you would expect. It’s all clean surfaces and minimal decor. I look back at Billy and see he is timid about coming in - I guess it's not the sort of space he’s used to hanging out in. I take his hand and drag him through the doors.

Immediately I feel a pang of guilt and remorse for taking his hand. I’m not sure why, after all Poppy isn't the jealous type and all I’m doing is hanging out with one of the few true friends I have in this place.

"Can I ask you a question?" Billy asks.

"Sure." I smile at him. I don't know why but I haven't let go of his hand; I get the impression my mind is stuck in my head and the rest of my body is ignoring its instructions. I wonder where the new instructions are coming from.

"How come you have a northern accent? I mean your family are all from around here." He’s quite cute when he’s being all sheepish.

"I’m from Manchester, I'm only here because of a custody battle." Looking at his blank face I add, "I lost."

"Oh," he says, clearly not understanding but having the common sense not to press any further.

The Marcel Dzama paintings are fantastic. I've seen them before but they still have in impact. What makes it more interesting is watching Billy take it all in. I can almost hear the little computer in his head making whirring sounds as it processes it all. I take a particularly long time to look at a painting of a sad looking tree-man with owls and squirrels living in his head. Something about his resigned expression speaks to me.

Billy squeezes my hand. It’s a gentle movement that takes me by surprise. Something strange happens. As I find my body tingling with attraction my mind starts to clear. As anyone who has been a teenage boy will tell you, this is not the normal way of things. I hadn't realised it needed clearing before now.

Billy’s talking to me and I can't keep my eyes of the way his fringe falls across his forehead. But at the same time my mind wanders back to standing next to the door of Edwards study. To how I had thoughts about going in and using his computer, but then my head had become fuzzy and I had dropped the idea. There must be something in that study that they don't want me to see - why else would they put a block on it?

Billy’s more confident now, leading me around the gallery. The closer we get, the freer my mind becomes. Perhaps by giving the Chloe part of my brain what it wants it relaxes its control over other areas? Once we are outside I decide to try an experiment. Billy’s talking about finding some food for lunch. I hold my breath, tell myself I'm doing it for Poppy, stand on tiptoes and kiss him.

As he pulls me into his arms, turning my peck into a deeper kiss, I feel bad about using him like this. But it works; I feel my mind coming back with even greater clarity. I think about how I'd done nothing to get in contact with Poppy until Jessie arrived. How I’ve let Lily dress me and change my hair with out any real protest. As Billy runs back into the gallery to use the toilet I check the email on my phone. Diving into the draft section I confirm my suspicions. They’re all there, everyone of the emails I wrote to Poppy since getting into the Livingstons’ car. Looking in the inbox I see the emails Julia sent me before visiting. The block isn't on my computer or phone, it’s on me.

"That was great," Billy says, a huge smile across his face.

"Don't get any ideas," I say, really not wanting to hurt his feelings. "I was just checking."

"And, what did you think?" he says with his usual mix of bravado and shyness.

"Not bad," I mumble; I don't want to give the poor boy a complex.

After eating at MacDonald's, which is still as tasteless as I remember, we head back to the bus. Earlier I sent a text to Lily saying I was hanging out with the girls but she'll grow suspicious if I'm not back before dinner.

It maybe my imagination but the closer the bus gets to home, the fuzzier my head feels. I lean that head on Billy's shoulder feeling it clear a little. He leaves me at the end of the road with an awkward goodbye. We don't kiss but I can tell he was thinking about it. I can hear raised female voices as I come in and I find Lily is in the living room chatting away with two middle-aged women. Like her they look well pampered.

"Oh, hello dear, had fun with your little friends?" she asks. From the sound of her voice I can tell she's been drinking.

"It was okay," I say in a non-committal way, hoping she'll leave me alone.

"That’s a lovely skirt you’re wearing." Without asking she handles the fabric around the hem. "I bet the others were jealous." Before I have time for a rebuttal the other women chime in. They ask me about school, clothes and, most embarrassingly boys. My face burns bright red as I think about Billy. I catch Lily watching me with a thoughtful expression.

That night I lie awake wondering how I can use the new information about Billy to my advantage. Perhaps I could invite him around and get him to help me break into Edward's study, but I worry what he'd think getting an invitation like that. Despite my desperation, I don't want to hurt the boy. Finally I start to drift off, knowing Jessie will be back tomorrow with her mysterious news. I'll see what she thinks.

As is common in England at this time of year, Saturday's warm weather is followed by rain and driving winds on the Sunday. I keep to my room, checking the secret phone regularly for news from Jessie. When I hear Lily going into the living room to watch TV I decide to risk calling Poppy. The phone rings but quickly goes to the answerphone. I stammer something about wondering how she is then hang up.

It all adds to my growing sense of unease. Finally around four my phone buzzes with a message from Jessie. She says she’s back, and that I should come to the boathouse as soon as I can. I quickly rush downstairs grabbing my trusty duffel coat and an old pair of wellingtons. I'm going for that ‘Paddington Bear’ look, obviously. Lily stops me at the back door.

"How much longer have you got to keep doing this science project?" she asks.

"Just another week," I improvise. I’m going to need another cover story.

"Okay then. Don't stay out too long, dinner will be ready in an hour." She turns her attention back to her food and I slip out. The wind and rain is getting stronger and I find Jessie squeezed between two crates covered in a blanket. I wonder where she got the blanket from?

"Hey," I smile at her. She smiles back but I can see she’s cold and uncomfortable. "How have you been?" She blows on her hands to keep them warm.

"Not bad,” she answers. "I've found something out." Her face looks stern.

"What?" I ask.

"I got a job, cleaning at that New Body place. I saw the ad in one of the newspapers their Royal Highnesses throw out."

"Smart move, what did you find?" She goes to great lengths to describe the whole experience. How the manager is an old perv but that a woman called Marge, who runs her team, is alright. As she proceeds to go through all the gossip she's found about who fancies whom, I find myself getting frustrated. Finally I lose my patience.

"What did you find, Jessie?" I ask, wanting to shake her by her shoulders.

"I’m coming to that," she protests, as though she hasn't just spent the last twenty minutes telling me a load of gossip about people I'll probably never meet. I hold my tongue. "Well, Marge likes me, see. So one evening she let me do one of the doctor's offices. That's when I see it’s your Doctor Fields's place. So I know I've got about twenty minutes before anyone checks on me. And guess what?" I shake my head but Jessie isn't listening. "the idiot has left his laptop open. Well, I soon found your file."

"What did it tell you?" I ask eagerly.

"Mostly stuff I didn't understand," she says honestly, "but there was something about you and a shipment to some place in California."

"Was it a company in Palo Alto?" I ask.

"Sounds right, does it mean anything to you?" she asks and there's an eager look in her eyes.

"Edward’s arranging a holiday for us out there and he's doing some work with the company," I say, pondering what the connection could be.

"D’you think they are shipping something to help control you while you’re out there?" she says, looking at me. "Perhaps they think you might run away when you get to the States?"

"Plausible," I say, mulling it over. "But it doesn't quite fit. Why go if they think I’m a flight risk?" Jessie just shrugs. I change the subject to Billy and the effect he has on me and her eyes light up at the chance to talk about boys. She makes me tell her everything about my friends at St. Anne's. It strikes me how lonely she must be, and what a huge sacrifice she has made coming here to help me. A couple of times she sneezes and I feel bad for her staying out here in the cold.

"Look," I say, "I've got to head back to the house for dinner now." Jessie looks visibly crest fallen. "But I'll put my blue Tardis lamp" - who would have thought both Chloe and I would be Whovians -"in my window when they’ve gone to sleep. Then I’ll sneak down and let you in. I'll get food and stuff for you as well." We agree, and she looks a lot happier as I leave.

It takes an agonisingly long time for Edward and Lily to go to bed. I feel bad as I watch the weather getting worse and worse outside my bedroom window. It’s a full blown storm now. Eventually, a little after one AM, I’m confident enough to put the Tardis lamp on the window sill. As before I creep slowly downstairs. Finally I open the back door, to be met by a soaking wet Jessie.

"That took ages!" he says in a hoarse whisper. "What kept you?"

"Sorry, sorry," I say as quietly as I can. "they were watching some dumb film." It was something with car chases and explosions. Rich people, poor taste. Go figure.

We creep back up the stairs as quietly as possible but Jessie’s shaking like mad. Half way up the stairs Jessie lets out a massive sneeze. We both stop still, my heart is in my mouth. We wait a few minutes but no one appears thankfully. We continue our way up the stairs and into my room. I tell Jessie to get out of her wet clothes and she calls me a lesbo, but she’s laughing as she does so.

"Ok, shrinking violet, go and change in the bathroom. I think it’s okay for you to have a quick shower." I’m more worried about Edward and Lily been woken by Jessie coughing and sneezing than I am about the shower, which is on the opposite side of my room to their bedroom. When I hear the shower turn on I chuck a t-shirt and a pair of pyjama bottoms into the bathroom for her to change into. Most of my clothes are a little small for her but I think the t-shirt and pyjamas should be baggy enough to work.

I go to the wardrobe and pull out as much spare bedding as I can find, making a little nest by the far side of the bed. Even if Lily comes in before I have time to sneak Jessie out she'll not spot her from the door. Jessie falls asleep pretty much as soon as she crawls into her makeshift bed. I can't complain as she’s sacrificed so much for me, but I do wish we could have talked for just a little bit.

I dream I’m in a giant nursery, locked behind the bars of a playpen. Everyone towers over me, making me feel scared. I try begging them to let me out but all the giant adults just walk by not noticing me. Then I spot Poppy over the other side of the room; I press my face against the bars and try to call for her but she doesn't listen. Next I notice she’s with ssomeone, a man who looks like a grown up version of Billy. Grown up Billy and Poppy walk around hand in hand inspecting the infants in different cots and playpens. They look like a young couple hoping to adopt.

"Poppy! Billy!" I yell at the top of my voice shaking the bars as violently as my little arms will allow.

A nurse comes over and says, "Well, they won't want to adopt a naughty baby like you," and behind her I can see Poppy and Billy leaving.

"I'm not naughty!" I scream in a childish voice.

"Not naughty? Who’s that with you?" The nurse’s voice changes to that of Lily. "Chloe, who the fuck is that in your room?” My eyes shoot wide open and I jump up. Jessie’s quicker on the uptake than me and is already around Lily and has grabbed her damp clothes. I don't dare look at Lily as I hear Jessie tearing down the stairs, then I hear Edward shouting and the front door slams.

"Chloe? Explain yourself!" I finally look at Lily; her face is like thunder. Shit, I think. This means another trip to Doctor Fields.