Alex spent his entire life working towards the goal of becoming a woman - from schooling to job.
And now, just before surgery, his family gets in the way!

By Sydney Moya

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Photo Credit:Sad Young Woman
 
Chapter Three

“Good, I’m glad you had fun because that’s the last time that I’m going speed dating,” responded Alex.

“Oh come don’t tell me you didn’t have fun,” replied Lindsay.

“What’s the fun in talking to a strange guy every 5 minutes, I felt like they were each undressing me,” said Alex, “I told you this outfit wouldn’t work,” she complained.

Lindsay smiled at her pal.

“Yet you took some random guys number,” she pointed out.

“Yeah what was I thinking,” lamented Alex.

“Perhaps I was right about your liking guys,” she told her pal.

“I liked Tommy as a person the way I like you, there was nothing sexual about it.”

“I liked the second guy I talked to, Donny,” Lindsay told Alex as they drove home that night.

“Great so now that you’re set up with some guy, I can carry on my life in peace,” Alex told her friend.

“Sure you can doll but only as soon we get this double date out of the way,”

“No,” Alex groaned.

“Hey if you want Tommy to yourself I’m cool with it,” teased Lindsay.

Alex rolled her eyes at her friend.

The double date went quite well if the truth be told. Alex found she liked being the centre of someone’s attention, she’d always been invisible her whole life, now somebody was showing an interest in her and she adored it. Though she was certain it had something to do with how she looked it was nice all the same and she didn’t say no when he asked her if she would like to do this again.

The months moved by and Alex settled rather well into her role as a woman at work and in society. Her performance had improved at work, a direct result of her not hiding who she was anymore. She also felt a lot happier as a person and felt like a member of the human race for the first time in her life. It helped that she was beautiful, people noticed this and complimented her which made her feel good. Still it wasn't about her looks but the very act of who she'd longed to be since childhood. Being a woman brought her a sense of peace she hadn't known for most of her life and which others took for granted.

To her surprise she had hit it off with Tommy; he’d kissed her at the end of their fifth date. She’d been taken aback by this; it had been her first kiss. He had told her he thought they should go steady.

“I think we have something special and I’d like to get to know you better. Let’s be exclusive,” he told her.

Alex had agreed though she wasn’t entirely sure about it considering that she was yet to tell him her situation. Yet she couldn’t deny the growing attraction she felt towards him, it wasn’t love yet though she realised she was beginning to anticipate their dates and phone calls and was thinking about him quite a lot and when dressing would ask her herself what Tommy would think.

Lindsay was overjoyed when she heard about it. She’d given her pal a hug and told her she was doing the right thing and to go along with the flow.

“But I can’t, I’m not like most girls,” said Alex worriedly.

“Honey, you’re a girl, that’s why he fell for you. I know you have to tell him but not now,” Lindsay replied.

“I don’t know, he might go crazy,” responded Alex.

Her family life was a mixed bag. Mel was a wonder; in an effort to bond she’d visited Alex a number of times to talk about stuff. Alex had found herself telling her about her childhood, how she’d resented being male and the anguish living a lie had brought her. Hearing this had brought tears to her sister’s eyes as she’d had no idea of her sibling’s pain.

“I wish you’d told me,” said Mel sadly.

“I couldn’t tell anyone, I thought I was weird and if anyone knew they would hate me for it,”

Mel nodded in understanding.

“I guess you would think that but just know that I’m there if you need to talk in future,”

“Thanks sweetie,”

“Don’t mention it, I think I’m going to like having a sister,” said Mel softly.

Alex laughed, flicking her hair out of her face as she did so.

Mel watched her in amazement.

“I’m stunned I never noticed just how feminine you were,”

“I did my best to hide it, and I suppose you wouldn’t notice since we grew up together, it wasn’t feminine to you, just Alex,”

“Was it tough trying to be a guy?”

“You have no idea, everyday felt wrong, I’d see girls and women every day and I just wanted to burst. My body felt like a prison,” Alex said.

“Is it better now? Like how are you adjusting to being a beautiful woman?” Mel asked.

“I’m not a beautiful woman,” said Alex self-deprecatingly.

“Yeah right pull the other one, you look amazing sis, I’m so jealous,” Mel responded.

“Why should you be?” Alex asked in amazement.

“Alex you are drop dead gorgeous, I’m surprised no one’s asked you out yet,”

Alex blushed.

“Omigosh, you’re blushing, you never blush. There’s someone isn’t there?” said Mel excitedly.

Alex nodded.

“What’s his or her name?”

“Tommy,” said Alex softly.

“A guy, I knew you weren’t going to be into girls,” said Mel happily.

“He’s just a friend,” Alex remonstrated.

“Sure so tell me about him,” replied Mel eagerly.

Alex told her about the dates leading up to the kiss.

“Omigosh, you have a boyfriend!” exclaimed Mel before wrapping her sister in a hug.

“Does he know?” she asked when she’d let go.

Alex shook her head. Mel’s face turned serious.

“Are you going to tell him?” Mel asked. “You have to tell,” she added.

“Yes but I don’t know how,” Alex responded.

Mel kind of understood her dilemma.

“I see but you have to tell him before it gets too serious,” she advised.

Alex sighed. She had no idea how to begin telling Tommy and felt he wouldn’t react to well. Most guys were uncomfortable with the idea of dating a transgendered woman and she recalled the deteriorating relationship she had with her brother. If Marshall was anything to go by this wouldn’t end well.

Marshall had rebuffed all her attempts to talk one on one let alone hang out. He’d just told her he wasn’t interested when she’d suggested they spend time together. Before she came out this was something they’d always done but Marshall was suddenly a busy man whenever Alex mentioned doing something. He never sought her out to talk about anything anymore when previously she’d been his sounding board for a lot of things

She knew he was distancing himself from her and after agonising over it, decided to give him his space and not push him away. Since her brother was not eager to be friends she turned to her sister instead.

“Lindsay wants to meet you,” she said to her sister.

“Cool, sounds great but don’t change the subject. When are you telling this boyfriend of yours,” responded Mel.

“I’m looking for the right moment and he isn’t my boyfriend,” she said.

“Yeah right,” sniggered Mel, “wait till Mom hears about this,” she joked.

“Oh really, well Lindsay and I planned to do some shopping this weekend and get a makeover but since you’re planning on telling Mom my secrets I don’t think you’re welcome,” said Alex with a smile.

“Serious, okay I won’t tell her until you clear it then but I have to meet Lindsay and do this shopping thing,” remarked Mel excitedly, having never had a sister she looked forward to seeing what having one would be like and it was an opportunity to be close to Alex, something she wanted a lot.

Alex wasn’t surprised that Lindsay and Mel hit it off then sort of teamed up against her. Both of them seemed to relish the prospect of putting her in uncomfortable situations or so it seemed to her. She complained a bit but not wholeheartedly since she knew it wasn’t malicious. A part of her enjoyed what they were doing too, having longed all her life to be free to be feminine.

The three of them got along famously and had the time of their lives. Mel enjoyed having a sister to shop with, while Lindsay enjoyed being with her friend and Mel. Both girls were pleased Alex seemed to be much happier, she smiled more and was more outgoing than she’d been before.

“She’s like the same but different,” observed Mel as her sister went to try on a dress.

“Yeah I’ve noticed, it’s amazing isn’t it,” replied Lindsay, “I have never seen her so happy. When I first met her she was so withdrawn. I really thought she was struggling with something. Then she told me she was transgendered and everything clicked. When she started dressing during weekends I’d meet a new person I didn’t see during the rest of the week, it’s like she was a fake as a man,” she finished.

Mel nodded.

“Why did she take so long to tell us?”

“She cares about you and your family a lot. She was scared to lose you guys I think,” Lindsay answered, “but she finally realised she couldn’t live two lives forever. To move forward she had to tell you and make do with whatever you people decided,” Lindsay explained.

“It was totally out of the blue. We had no idea Alex was depressed let alone suicidal. Thank you for being there for her when she needed someone,” said Mel softly.

“Don’t mention it. She’s my friend, I’m just glad she could trust me with something like this and by sharing that she made a bond that you don’t get with everyone in life,” said Lindsay with a smile.

“I get that but thank you all the same Lindsay,” said Mel before giving Lindsay a hug.

“So I hear Alex is dating,” Mel remarked moments later.

Alex came out at that moment.

“That is none of your business,” she said, smirking at Mel, “How do I look?”

“It is my business, I’m your sister remember,” Mel said, “and you look great,” she added graciously as Alex made a pose in LWD she’d picked out for her.

“Nice, I think you should take it,” said Lindsay, “Tommy will love it,” she teased.

“So that’s his name,” Mel said cheerfully, “I need all the details,” she murmured.

“He is just a friend,” said Alex downplaying everything.

“A friend she’s gone on seven dates with,” Lindsay pointed out.

“OMG you have a steady boyfriend, what’s he like?” Mel teased though she already knew about Tommy.

“He’s gorgeous, Alex sure knows how to pick them,” said Lindsay, “they’ve kissed,”

Mel squealed, “Wow sis you’re not wasting anytime are you?”

Alex rolled her eyes.

“I like him, he’s a nice guy.”

“Is that all? How does he make you feel?” said Mel.

“I can’t explain it, he makes me feel warm inside,” Alex confessed.

Alex smiled as she thought of Tommy; her smile answered Mel who gave her a hug.

“I’m so happy for you,” she murmured.

“Thanks,” Alex.

Later that night Alex and Mel talked at length again about Tommy and the relationship Alex had with him. Alex told Mel the details of their dates, how she’d felt and how she looked forward to talking or seeing him. It was at that moment she realised she was falling in love with him.

“I think I’m falling for him,” murmured Alex.

“That’s great Alex,” said Mel softly.

“Is it?” Alex wondered, “I mean I don’t know if I can have a proper relationship with him,” she explained.

“You’re worried he’ll think you’re a guy,” stated Mel.

Alex nodded, “A lot of guys would think that,” she agreed.

“You’re not a guy,” said Mel, “I mean look at you, you’re stunning,” she said.

Alex sighed, “Yeah but I have the same thing he has down there,” she said, tears filling her eyes.

Mel embraced her.

“You’re a woman and if Tommy likes you he’ll understand,” she said softly.

“Like Marshall,” said Alex sadly.

“Marshall’s a fool,” said Mel vehemently.

Alex made a decision in the aftermath of her conversation with her sister. She decided to tell Tommy about her past so that he’d know where he stood. She didn’t believe she could build a relationship without openness and expect it to work out. Lindsay wasn’t too sure.

“I get what you’re saying but you’re taking a risk of getting hurt,” she advised.

“I know but I can’t carry on with someone I care about if they didn’t know about me,” Alex said, “I think I love him,” she said softly.

Lindsay immediately embraced her.

“I understand,” she said.

“That was a great film,” remarked Tommy with a smile as they exited the theatre. They’d just watched the new Star Trek film.

“It was but the Kirk being awoken from the dead scene was stretching it too far,” said Alex.

“Hey its science fiction isn’t it?” Tommy replied before leaning down for a kiss.

Alex held up her hand to block him.

“I’m sorry but I can’t. I have to tell you something,” she said.

Tommy looked at her pensively wondering if she was breaking up with him.

She led him to a park bench where there was some privacy but with enough people in the vicinity that she would be safe from any potential violence.

“What is it?” Tommy asked.

Alex sighed, “I like you a lot, you’re a great guy,” she began.

“I like you too girl, you’re special and so beautiful,” said Tommy.

Alex smiled slightly, her cheeks reddening which made Tommy smile.

“I’d like to have this relationship but there’s something you have to know,” she said slowly.

“Okay, shoot,” said Tommy, confident he could handle whatever it was.

“I’m transgendered,” Alex confessed.

“Transgendered, sorry I don’t understand,” said Tommy confused.

“I was born male but I’ve always felt I was a girl. I was too scared to tell my family so I lived as a boy until I was 25 when I decided to commit suicide because I couldn’t cope with how I felt and who I was. I decided to fix it by living my life as a woman,” explained Alex.

“You’re a man,” said Tommy, shocked.

“I’m a woman who used to be a man,” Alex answered, looking him in the eye.

Tommy stared at her for a moment before he finally responded,

“What about this?” He queried motioning at her body.

“I’ve been on female hormones for over two years now,” explained Alex, “they changed my body to what you see,” she added.

Tommy looked stunned.

“What about your thing?”

“I’m going to have surgery to give me a vagina,” said Alex.

“I can’t believe this,” said Tommy, “I mean why didn’t you tell me before,” he added.

“I wasn’t sure how serious we were,” said Alex.

Tommy shook his head.

“This is too much for me Alex. I’m not gay you know,” he said angrily.

“I’m not a man Tommy,” said Alex, her temper rising.

“You have a dick don’t you?” Tommy retorted.

“Which I don’t want, I hate it. I never liked being a guy and I love being a woman and if I could wave a magic wand I’d fix my body right now so I could be a complete woman,” Alex responded, her eyes bright with tears.

Tommy opened his mouth then shut it. They sat in silence for a while lost in thought yet all too aware of each other’s discomfort. Tommy finally broke the silence.

“Look I’m shocked by what you’ve told me. I like you a lot and I thought I’d found the girl of my dreams but what you’ve just told me isn’t easy to take in so I think we should give each other time so we can see where we stand okay,” he announced.

Alex nodded, “I understand,” she agreed.

Tommy stood up making no attempt to touch her.

“Bye Alex,” he said gruffly.

“Bye Tommy,” she whispered.

He turned and walked away and taking her heart with him. Alex’s tears coursed down her cheeks ruining her makeup and her day. That night she cried herself to sleep, wondering what she’d done wrong to have such a terrible life.

The next week was not a good one for her, she was miserable about what had happened and had lots of work piled on to boot. Being sad and having deadlines didn’t make a good mix. By Friday she was quite stressed. In order to get her mind off Tommy, Alex decided to spend the weekend at her mom’s place.

“Hi sweetheart,” said Lily when she opened the door.

“Hi Mom,” said Alex before pecking her mother’s cheek.

Lily invited her in and Alex took a seat on the sofa. Lily stared at her child, once again she was in a jeans and a sweater as a concession to her she suspected not that that could hide the changes wrought in her appearance by the hormones and the surgery. Alex’s face had softened a lot and she looked nothing like before. In fact she looked a lot like Lily had as a young woman. She had long hair that brushed her shoulder blades framing that face and a well sized cleavage and her waist and hips certainly had feminine contours. Only her eyes were unchanged and what she saw in them worried Lily.

“You look tired, what’s the matter?”

“Oh just the work piling up,” said Alex.

Lily’s penetrating grey eyes looked bored into hers.

“Are you sure?”

Alex sighed, “I’ve been seeing someone for some time now and I told him about my past last weekend. He asked for some time to think about it and I’ve been worried a bit too much this week,” confessed Alex.

“You have a boyfriend?” Lily asked, stunned.

She’d had no idea Alex was in a relationship but her having a boyfriend disturbed her more than a little as she still in her heart saw Alex as her son.

“I wouldn’t say that, he’s a good friend,” said Alex defensively, correctly sensing her mother’s discomfort with the idea.

“That you’re worried about because you told him you’re changing your sex,” said Lily, her eyebrow raised.

“Look Mom I told someone about who I am and I’m worried he’ll hate me for it,” said Alex.

“I don’t think I’m comfortable with you going out with men. You could get hurt really bad sweetie,” she told her.

“I shouldn’t have told you,” said Alex sadly.

“No, no don’t say that. I want you to feel free with me,” said Lily quickly.

“I can’t when I sense that you’re not comfortable with me being like this,” said Alex slowly.

She knew her mom didn’t really approve of what she was doing but only tolerated it because she loved her. She sensed this in the undertone of her conversations with her. It was something she’d felt before in the past when she'd wanted to do something Lily didn’t agree with.

Lily closed her eyes and sighed.

“I love you Alex and I’m trying to work through what you’re going through. It isn’t easy and I may sound like I’m not comfortable but I never want to hurt you. All I want is for you to be happy. Even if you’re a girl so please don’t pull away,” Lily said.

Alex nodded and Lily went over and gave her a heartfelt hug.

Marshall came in later that day and found the two women cooking in the kitchen.

“Hi Mom,” he said.

“Hello sweetheart, how are you?” Lily replied warmly.

“Good thanks,” he said before kissing her cheek.

He looked at Alex but said nothing.

“Hi Marshall,” said Alex when she realised he wasn’t going to greet her.

Marshall ignored her.

“Marshall Alex said hello where are you manners?” Lily asked.

“That’s not the Alex I know. I don’t talk to strangers,” said Marshall calmly.

Alex said nothing.

“Don’t be difficult Marshall,” said Lily quietly.

“I’m not being difficult, if you want difficult look at him. Honestly what sane person goes around pretending to be opposite sex?” Marshall spat.

“I’m not insane,” said Alex hurt, “and I’m not pretending to be the opposite sex.”

“See, he’s even changed his voice. What on earth is wrong with you, how can you do this to yourself?” Marshall challenged.

Alex turned and left the room, not wanting to be near her brother anymore.

“Yeah run away like a little girl,” said Marshall following.

“BOYS,” said Lily hoping to stop this from escalating.

“See even Mom thinks you’re a boy,” Marshall goaded as he stood right behind Alex who was fuming. He never saw the punch until it hit him square in the jaw with enough power to drop him.

Alex sat on him and pummelled him

“F**k you!” Alex screamed as she kept punching him.

“You sick bastard what did I do to you huh?” said Alex as she sobbed, “Why can’t you let me be, why?”

“ALEX, ALEX STOP IT!” Lily screamed as Alex kept beating Marshall who tried in vain to block and then push her off. Though weaker, Alex’s rage gave her the strength to keep on top of her physically bigger brother.

Melinda had just arrived home when she heard screaming in the house. She rushed in and found Alex sitting on and pummeling Marshall while her mom was shouting at them to stop. She quickly rushed in and pulled Alex’s hair so as to get her off. Lily grabbed one of her arms and pulled. Alex stopped resisting as soon as she saw what they were doing. She got off Marshall who immediately stood up intending to beat her. Lily and Mel stood in his way.

“That’s enough, I’ll call the police if I have to,” Lily said sternly, “there will be no fighting in my house.”
 
 
To Be Continued...