Lucien's father is away on business so he is staying with at his friend Frankie's house. Frankie's mother, Sally, has agreed to look after the young boy and help him find his true self!

Lucien ignored the taunts and jokes and carried on wearing his hair in a ponytail every day at school. After a while there was nothing new to say! He was actually quite pleased with himself. He loved his ponytail and didn’t want to change it. Now, with the novelty worn off for everyone else, things were a bit quieter. That and the fact that he spent his playtimes with Jayde and the girls meant he had people to be with. For the first time he had some friends. They talked about things he wanted to talk about. They asked his opinion on things. He found the confidence to ask them about which colour Converse he should get and whether hi or low tops were better.

So, when he went shopping with Sally and Frankie on Saturday he didn’t buy the red hi tops he had thought he would get but chose pink low ones instead. He was confident in his decision despite being asked several times by both Sally and Frankie if he was sure. Back home Peter confirmed for him that he had made the right choice.
“Great choice, Luci!” he declared. “You will turn a few heads with these!” Although he wasn’t sure what that meant Lucien was delighted that Peter was impressed by his choice.
The young woman in the shop who served him obviously mistook him for a girl because she told him all the girls were choosing pink low tops at the moment. Frankie was jealous, he could tell, so ended up with an identical pair of her own. Sally, pleased that George was paying, decided they looked good together when they wore identical clothes.

The pair of children walked in front of Sally as they left the shop, both in black skinny jeans and black long t shirts. The pink Converse that they insisted on wearing was the only splash of colour on show. His hair was down and quite long so, from behind he looked just like a girl. In fact, he looked like a girl from the front as well. Something intrigued him as he walked along because he kept looking in the shop windows at his reflection. She thought again about how there had been no reaction when she accidentally called them both ‘girls’, and he didn’t seem to mind or correct the shop assistant who obviously thought he was a girl. She thought again that George was right and that this plan was necessary. She would reassure him when he rang that Lucien had never looked more relaxed.

George, meanwhile, found his time off in a strange country was time he didn’t need. He thought about the breakup of his marriage and his sons. His mind turned once again to Lucien and Sally’s offer of help. He wondered what he would be doing now, maybe playing football with Peter and some friends or maybe shopping for some more appropriate clothes. He was quite relaxed to think that Sally would be on top of things for him.

The two girls skipped along in front of Sally oblivious to everything other than each other. They laughed at each other’s jokes and walked with their arms around each other when they weren’t rushing off to look in shop windows.
“Luci, look!” shouted Frankie at the entrance to Claire’s. “Wouldn’t it be great!” Lucien stared through the window where a boy was getting his ear pierced. He was more or less the same age as them but he had very short hair. Lucien watched to see how it went. He wondered if it would hurt. The boy didn’t flinch but looked in the mirror at this addition to his image. Lucien was surprised when the assistant moved to his other side and prepared to add an earring to the other ear. He was intrigued. He knew boys who had one ear pierced but this boy was getting both ears done.

Frankie was less impressed by the boy and more keen on trying to win over her mother. “You said I could,” she declared.
“I said you could when you are eleven!”
“That’s only six months away…” she tried.
“So wait six months,” Sally said.
Lucien watched the boy closely as he got out of the chair and his parents admired the look and paid. They seemed quite alright with the idea that their son had two pierced ears. He was so busy concentrating that he missed most of the conversation Frankie and Sally had and was surprised when they went in the shop themselves. He thought at first that Frankie had persuaded her mother to let her have her ears pierced but they were both looking at what he thought were bracelets. They were actually anklets and mother and daughter were trying to decide which ones went best with pink converse and black skinny jeans.
“Luci, will you have the same?” Sally asked. He nodded and before they left the shop they both had gold anklets on their left legs. This was another addition that fascinated Lucien.

In bed on Sunday night, he went over the events of the weekend. Shopping had been a big adventure. He didn’t realise it could be such fun. The pink Converse were the best thing but he also loved the jewellery. They had bought bracelets and necklaces before they left town. Everything they had matched which is probably why so many people thought they were sisters. They bought white hooded tops with Coco written over the front. He wasn’t sure what that meant but he liked the design. He didn’t object when he was mistaken for a girl. Why would be insulted? ‘Nothing wrong with being a girl’ Peter said.

When they stopped for lunch the waiter had complimented Sally on her lovely daughters. Frankie and Lucien laughed and Sally accepted the compliment by saying, “Thank you, I think so too!” He wasn’t sure what he was doing, really. When he was with Frankie, he got caught up with everything. He liked what she liked and her liking things made him like them too. Better still, when he was at school in his group of friends he could now join in. He understood what they were talking about and discovered that not only did he have views but they were listened to.
As the weeks went by, he carried on with the same routine. He thought of his school uniform as a sort of disguise which he put on only to get through the day safely. He found himself admiring Jayde’s uniform, especially her black tights, and he noticed which girls had pierced ears and which didn’t. The clothes he and Frankie wore were always the same. He loved the dungarees especially with his pink Converse, he wore them A LOT! He also liked the skinny jeans which they matched with different tops. Getting dressed had never been this much fun before.

His mind kept going back to the day he saw that boy get both his ears pierced. He wondered if he could get away with it. Frankie, too, was keen to be allowed to wear earrings and she kept up her campaign to persuade Sally. Peter joined in too.
“Why not, Mum?” he said.
“Oh, not you as well,” she replied exasperated by his involvement.
“Do you want earrings?” Lucien asked him, somewhat surprised.
“Not me, no… but Frankie does and you do don’t you Luci?”
Lucien nodded because he really did but didn’t say it out loud because he did not dare to. So he was both pleased and alarmed when Sally gave a pantomime sigh and agreed. Frankie cheered, Peter smiled and Lucien beamed.

Frankie went first. Her confidence convinced Lucien that it couldn’t hurt much. When it was his turn he jumped in the chair too. Sally looked on but held her reservations in check. She could see why this change was exactly what she had agreed with George but she worried that this was a little too quick. They only had one stud per ear, nothing fancy, but they were both so proud and they spent every opportunity playing with their ears and admiring themselves in the mirror.

Lucien realised that he would have something new for everyone to talk about the next day at school. His ponytail had stopped being an issue. In fact, he was hardly noticed now and the boys left him alone. There were a few comments occasionally but mostly he was left alone. Jayde and her friends sort of protected him. Lucien knew he might be in for more trouble at school but at the same time he was desperate to show off his pierced ears to Jayde.

It was a bit surprising therefore that he made it through that first Monday with no trouble at all. Obviously, Jayde and her friends noticed but they were so complimentary about him that he had such a morale boost. As he was walking to his class, he realised he had never been so happy at school. He told his papa that when they talked on the ‘phone. This was music to his father’s ears. He believed his son was fitting in at last. He didn’t ask Lucien what had brought around this new found confidence and happiness, he just trusted that Sally was working her magic. He pictured his son, one of the boys, popular at school and growing up.

If George had been able to see his son after the ‘phone call, his elation would have dissipated. Luci went skipping back downstairs in his nightie to listen to the story Peter would read. This was a nightly ritual now. Each evening, Frankie took one side of Peter and he took the other, always once they were ready for bed. Peter was reading a Jacqueline Wilson book about a girl who lives between two parents and always feels as if she is living out of a suitcase. Luci could empathise, in a way. He loved his papa but he loved being part of this family too. He knew that, at home, there was no way his brother would read to him, let alone let him snuggle up. Instead, the television would be on and he would have to sneak away to his bedroom for any peace.

Lucien had only seen his brother once since they divided up while their papa was away. They met in town while shopping. Rene was too busy to talk much other than to ask his younger brother is he was going for the androgynous look now. Lucien didn’t know what that meant. He wondered if it was a reference to wearing black or his pink Converse. Anyway, they didn’t have much to say to each other and Lucien was so pleased when Peter emerged from the bookshop. Rene and Peter exchanged a few words but then his brother had to rush, leaving him with Peter who proudly showed him the next book they would read together.

Although he was enjoying school now, the weekends were best because this was when he could dress as he wanted to… or nearly. He and Frankie wore the same clothes. It was a sort of unwritten rule, helped by the fact that Sally always put out the clothes he was to wear. He hadn’t ever looked in Frankie’s wardrobe or the chests of drawers she had in her room. He always saw it as her space that he was allowed to stay in. He had his bed, the lovely poster of a ballet boy on the wall facing him and his doll, Maddie. On the dressing table there was his own brush and that was pretty much that. He was surprised and grateful that he was allowed to wear her spare nighties, she seemed to have two of everything, and he hadn’t seen his own pyjamas for weeks. In fact, he had seen hardly any of his own clothes since he arrived, except his school uniform. He knew Sally had been given money by his papa to help with his stay and every time they went shopping they came back with more clothes. Frankie knew what to buy and he went along with it.

It was before a shopping expedition where they had their first argument. It had started on Friday night but continued all through Saturday. Luci was brushing his hair, admiring himself in the mirror. He had to admit that his head was now the best bit of him. His hair was longer than it had ever been and his stud earrings caught the light. He knew why he was mistaken for a girl so much but he didn’t mind at all. He was humming to himself and maybe being a bit big headed. Frankie was jealous of his hair, he knew that and he could tell she was looking on enviously as he brushed it out.
“Haven’t you finished?” she snapped, eventually.
Luci turned around and looked at her. She sniffed and returned to looking at her magazine. He turned back to his hair.

She was no better in the morning, practically ignoring him at breakfast. Peter had left early for rugby practice so wasn’t around to talk to. Every question he asked her was ignored or grunted about. He had no idea what was eating her. He tried to be friendly but she wouldn’t let him break down her barrier. This had never happened between them before. He was back to feeling unsure of himself, a feeling he hadn’t had since moving in here.

Frankie took herself upstairs to get dressed and Luci decided to clear up and give her some time to herself to calm down. He was looking forward to dressing in the clothes Sally had provided for the day. They both had new purple tops with a Hello Kitty on the front. The sleeves were purple and white striped and he knew that it would go well with his pink Converse. They would wear their denim shorts as well. It would look great, he decided, so he was full of beans when he raced up the stairs to get dressed.

As soon as he stepped into the bedroom he knew Frankie was really mad at him. She had her purple Hello Kitty top, blue denim shorts and pink Converse on but she also wore a pair of purple tights. The effect was fantastic and Luci was very, very angry with her.
“How could you?” he hissed.
“You’re not my shadow,” she replied. “I’m allowed my own personality.”
“What have I done to you?” he nearly yelled, he was so frustrated.
“I’m fed up with your boasting.”
“When do I boast?” his voice whimpered. He was a little ashamed of how needy he was and how much he needed Frankie.
“All the time, every time you brush your hair.”
He stopped. He knew Frankie wanted long hair like him but he didn’t realise that she was jealous of… of him.

He turned his back on her and went to the bathroom to get dressed. He was so upset and mad and he really didn’t know what to do to get his own back. He put on the purple top and the denim shorts but the moment was spoiled. He knew he, too, was jealous.

Things turned petty between them all morning so when Sally returned from the supermarket she demanded to know what was going on. Neither of them answered so she shrugged and decided to ignore them but told them, quite clearly, there was no way she was taking them shopping later if they were still both in moods.

Back in the bedroom they continued to exchange barbed comments. Luci was hurt but knew Frankie was too. He couldn’t find a way back so instead kept the horrible comments going. At one stage he flicked his hair back to tie it up causing Frankie to say, “Here we go again, playing with the hair!”
“Grow your own, if you’re so jealous!” he snapped at her.
“Wear some tights if you’re so desperate to!” she snapped back. He froze. Had it been that obvious? His face fell and, to his horror, the tears started to fall. He hated his weakness but couldn’t stop.
“We were supposed to wear the same clothes,” he said and he knew he sounded pathetic.
For a while now he had admired the tights Jayde and her friends wore to school and he wondered what it would be like to wear some himself. He didn’t talk about it and the girls moaned about them because they were school uniform, black and all, not what they would have chosen but there you go. He would have settled for black tights any day of the week. He realised as he had these thoughts that he was jealous of the girls and wanted to be one. A while ago he had watched a television programme about a girl who had been born a boy and was very unhappy until her parents realised that she needed to live as a girl. He had felt sorry for the girl but he didn’t really relate to her. He didn’t see himself as being in the same situation. He thought back on it now and wondered. He had never felt as if he had been born in the wrong body. Rather, he had slipped towards being a girl and the closer he got to it, such as when he was mistaken for a girl in shops, the more he realised it was what he wanted.

So, when Frankie stood in front of him wearing tights he was just so jealous he could hardly contain himself. He shouted at her that she was selfish.
“Why am I selfish? I can wear what I like.”
“But, it isn’t fair!” he wailed.
Sally walked in just at that point, stared at them both and turned to Frankie.
“Care to explain?”
Frankie sniffed, trying not to cry. She didn’t answer her mother so Sally turned to Lucien.
“Luci?” He dropped his head, feeling ashamed now. “I shouted at Frankie and I didn’t mean to but…”
“I made him jealous…” Frankie said. “…on purpose.” She too dropped her head.
Sally walked over to the second of the two chests of drawers and pulled out a brand new pair of purple tights, just the same as Frankie’s.
“Try these Luci, they should be the right size.” she said, dropping them into his hands.
He stared at the packet as if he was holding a treasure. He stared for so long Sally told him he was supposed to wear them, not stare at them. He couldn’t help himself. This is what he had wanted for weeks now. He unwrapped the packet, felt the cotton soft tights fall loose and bent down to put them on.
“You might want to take your shorts off first!” Frankie said and laughed. Luci was caught out by her comment, went red but then seeing how ridiculous it would have been, he laughed too! Sally bent down at his feet, pushed him back on the bed and helped him get his foot in one leg and then in another. She helped him work the tights up his legs until he was encased in their softness. He put the shorts back on and turned to Frankie. He beamed! They looked like twins again and they hugged to prove their argument was over.
“Friends?” Luci asked.
“Sisters,” Frankie replied before Sally added “Stroppy Sisters, if you ask me.”

Luci kept looking at his legs. He loved the way they looked in tights. He turned his head to the mirror and liked what he saw. There was no doubt that a ten year old girl stared back and he was delighted with the result.
“Well that wasn’t supposed to happen this early,” Sally said staring at Frankie.
“I know, I’m sorry,” she replied.
“Well,” Sally said melting slightly. “No harm done… but no more bright ideas from you, young lady.”
Frankie nodded.
“As for you,” Sally said turning to Luci who was too busy enjoying the tights to take much notice, “I think you can start choosing your own clothes in the morning. I don’t need to do it for you.” She moved over to the chest of drawers and opened the top drawer. Then, she left the room.

Luci moved over to look in the drawer. There were three other pairs of tights, still in their packets. He picked them up. He had a black pair, navy blue and a pair of multi coloured stripes. There were also pairs of knickers and vests, just like the ones Frankie wore. He opened the next drawer and the next and discovered tops and a denim skirt. He turned to look at Frankie.
“Are these yours?”
Frankie groaned, picked up a pillow and threw it at Luci.
“Look in the other chest of drawers, stupid!”
He opened the drawers on the left and saw the same clothes there. He turned back to her friend who smiled back. “Mine on the left, yours on the right!”
Luci leapt over to her and hugged her again.
Their earlier argument was over and they played in their room for most of the morning. Peter poked his head around the door when he got back from rugby to say hello. He chatted for a bit before heading off to the shower, leaving Luci to reflect that he didn’t say anything about the way he was dressed. He was treated as if it was completely normal to be in tights and shorts.

When they got ready to go to town, Luci put on the pink Converse and was amazed at how brilliant they were with the purple tights. When Sally announced they would be leaving for town soon Luci had a momentary panic. Could he, should he, been seen out like this? It was one thing to be mistaken for a girl when he was wearing clothes that any boy or girl could wear but, now, these were girl clothes without any doubt. Luci knew a line had been crossed. He wanted to cross that line but, having done so, he was a little scared at people’s reactions. Meanwhile, Sally and Frankie behaved as if everything it was completely normal and stepping outside the house in tights would be fine.

He was conflicted. He wanted to be seen and yet he wanted to be invisible. He wanted to wear what he wanted to wear but not be the centre of attention… or the centre of ridicule. The first steps in town, from the car park to the shops, were electric. He was aware of himself the whole time, every time his legs moved, and he both loved and was scared by what he saw. The idea of bumping into somebody he knew was truly terrifying. He watched every child who passed, really closely, checking for signs of recognition. He undid his ponytail at one point in the hope that loose hair would mask him.

Sally kept her word; there was no clothes shopping. As soon as they could, though, they broke away and went window shopping. Jewellery, clothes, make-up, they saw the lot but didn’t buy. They were allowed a magazine each so they picked ones that they could share, full of fashion tips and advice on how to get a boyfriend. Luci felt a bit odd about that but Frankie talked about the boys in her class she really liked. Luci didn’t like many of the boys at his school. He kept well away from the all and, to be fair, they no longer seemed to notice him at all.