"	Gene's Story or How I Gained a Cousin A novel by Karen Lockhart Copyright 2016

“Gene, go take a shower, and shave everywhere.” The expression on his face was priceless.

“What do you mean 'everywhere'?”

I repeated myself “Everywhere, or if you want I'll get what you can't or won't reach.”

I could hear him mumbling “Everywhere, everywhere, shit.”

I was starting to enjoy this, in spite of myself. After a while I yelled in to him, “How's it coming Gene, need any help?”

“No fucking way,” he shouted. With that I broke up, with tears running down my cheeks, “Just asking.”

I started on my own re-construction project, brushing my hair, and then tying it up in a ponytail. I applied a quick mascara and put on a deep pink lipstick, with a quick spray of 'eau de girl' and I was ready. Hey, I'm a girl, I don't need to fool anyone.

“Give me a yell when you're dry Gene, and I'll help you get ready to face the world.”

After ten minutes I didn't hear anything, so I stuck my head into the guest room expecting to see Gene just sitting there, but to my surprise an attractive brunette stared back at me. “Wow, you have been doing this a while haven't you Ginny?”

At that she perked up, “You really think so Ellen?”

“Oh yeah, you could give me a few tips on doing the eyes honey, yours are glowing. But for going shopping at Walmart, in the future, tone it down a little. Now what are you going to wear?”

Ginny looked at me, “Why not what I wore yesterday?”

“Well, that is a little bit fancy for where we're going, and besides, I want that dress back.” I thought a minute and said, “Stand up and let me look at you. Have you been taking hormones, young lady?”

Ginny took a quick breath. “Why, does it show?”

“Yes, you're getting hips, and that means you could wear a pair of slacks with a low heel. Want to try on a pair?”

“Oh, yes, please.”

I wasn't sure whether I was helping someone my age or an excited teen-aged girl. The longer Ginny was dressed as a girl the more she acted like one, and a young girl at that.

“You know, Ginny this may just work.”

“Excuse me?” she said.

“See, that's what I mean, you wouldn't say that yesterday when you were Gene.”

She stood up, gave a quick spin and asked, “How do I look, boss?” I have to admit it. She was gorgeous.

“I'm glad I don't have a boyfriend right now, you'd steal him away.”

That's all Ginny had to hear, tears started to form.

“NO, you'll ruin your make-up!” I shouted. “Come on, lets start shopping.”

We looked around before getting into the SUV. Everyone looked like they belonged, so we relaxed. “We'll go to the store in Salem, that way we're going in the right direction for a couple of others I have in mind, besides, I like the store better.”

After twenty minutes, we pulled into the parking lot. On a Saturday, even at 8am, the lot was jammed with back to school shoppers; you know, frazzled mothers, excited little girls, and churlish boys, who didn't want to leave the toy aisles.

If you have never been to a Walmart, it's an experience. The aisles are so narrow a friend of mine would have to force his way through. I'm always teasing Kevin about that, but he's got a quick response at the ready, “Why do you think I push a cart? It's like a wedge starting an opening for me.”

I worked for him for 4 years as a co-op student, and never saw him without a smile when dealing with contractors. I don't know how he did it, but every one knew who the boss was. It's his fault I fell in love with horses. One day, he invited me to come to a horse show that was at the nearby Topsfield Fair grounds.

Horses are big tall scary things with large teeth, or so I thought before I met his horse close up and personal. I showed up, and timidly walked into the barn, calling his name. ”In here,” I heard. The voice came from inside a dark stall. I peeked over the door and saw Kevin on his knees polishing his horse's hooves. All the money in the world wouldn't get me to do that, but the horse seemed to like the attention.

I'll tell you more about horses later, for now, we need to dress Ginny.

She already had a cart and was immersed in the woman's aisles. “Do you like this jacket?” Ginny asked. “It should go with everything, and these skirts feel like wool, so they will be good when the temps drop.”

I had to laugh, it was like a female tidal wave breaking on shore, grabbing clothes left and right.

“Hold up, we came here for panties, bras and stockings. We'll stop somewhere else for outerwear.”

Ginny looked like I stole her candy.

“Don't worry, you don't need to buy a closet full today.”

“But we're here now,” she protested.

“Ginny, you need makeup too. C'mon, follow me”.

We went through the dozens of different colors available, picking the basic colors that worked with her coloring, the same thing with eyeliners. Then to basic blushes, and skin toners. My intention was to take Ginny to Macy's and have a pro determine the proper shades for her. I'm one of those that if it smells good, then on it goes. You know, I think I'll have the ladies at Macy's work on my hide too.

Ginny and I grabbed a quick lunch at the Hearthside in Peabody before going to the Mall and Macy's. I asked her how much money she brought with her, so I'd have an idea of what we had to work with. “No problem, I brought a thousand dollars.”

Was she surprised when I told her that would be a good start.

“You're shitting me!” Ginny gasped.

“Ladies do not talk like that,” I scolded. “Keep it up and you'll get us both killed.”

Lunch finished, we hopped back into the Explorer and headed west, well, actually north, but west sounded better.

We parked near the Sears store and cut through into the mall and Macy's. Let the adventure begin.

As we neared the entrance of Macy's it was obvious this was the correct one. The multiple miasma of different scents drifted into the main aisle of the mall. We were soon approached by one of the sales clerks working the makeup counter.

“What can I help you ladies with today?” she chirped. Now I remembered why I avoided this aisle for so long.

“Ginny needs help with determining what colors are best for her. She spent her life down the Cape on the beach, tanned and never wearing anything beyond a little lipstick.”

When the clerk heard this, it was like watching the land rush in Oklahoma. She didn't know what to do first.

I wandered off, smelling the perfumes, and almost fainting at the prices of the ones I liked. Boy, I need a boyfriend in time for Christmas.

“Miss, oh miss.” I finally looked over at Ginny, to see the sales girl beckoning me to come over.

“Your friend is an 'Autumn'. I've put together a collection of products that will enhance her coloring while flattering her beautiful complexion. Now it's your turn, Ginny's treat. Hop on the stool please.”

Those were words that I dreaded. I sat on the stool looking a little wild eyed. It must have been obvious, because the clerk told me to relax. Thirty minutes later, laden down with a month's rent of cosmetics, safe in the knowledge that I was a 'Spring', Ginny and I escaped into the mall proper to get a cold drink at the Orange Julius.

“I thought we were going to buy clothes, hurry up and drink up.”

Ginny had that glazed look in her eyes. I'd created a monster.

“Ginny, we would go through any money you have left in Macy's, so we're going to the mall in Danvers across the road. You must have heard of Marshall's before Ginny?”

With that we put our purchases in the back of he SUV and drove off. Two hours later, with enough blouses, skirts, dresses, and shoes to outfit a sorority, we were done. Ginny was excited, I was exhausted.

I was a little hungry, but it was still early. I suggested we go home and unload our purchases, then go to a seafood restaurant overlooking the ocean. That's what we did. Ginny's treat. I had scallops Rockefeller, She had the baked haddock.

We got home around 10pm, just in time for the early bulletin. Gene Thomas made the news. The police were looking for him in connection with moving drugs across the North Shore of Boston. Seems like his friend Morales was doing some damage control.

Ginny was more determined than ever to stay Ginny.

“As soon as the cops get me, I'm a dead man. I told you the cops are owned by the cartel.”

“Well, Ginny, they're not looking for a man in three inch heels with bright pink toenails.” With that we both started giggling.

“Come on, lets go to bed. Remember to remove your make up, and I left a spare nightie on your bed,” I thought for a bit. “Ginny what do you use for busts?”

“I just stuff a nylon filled with rice in each side and pray for good weather.”

“Ginny, tomorrow, I'll show you something better, but for now, it's time for bed. Good night.”

To be continued

Many thanks to Bronwen for fixing the typos and grammar.