Note to Readers

In this story I use music as an adjunct to the story, meant to be listened to while reading the relevant passage. I hope you enjoy it and if not I hope it doesn't detract from the story for you.

In the back of my awareness I have heard the firemen arrive and quickly examine her but I’m not really paying attention because I know its too late, she’s already gone… until I hear her take a great gasping breath and break into tears. “Oh fuck that hurts…” she breaks off and as I look around in amazement one of them rolls her onto her side as she begins to retch, vomiting up a small amount of liquid with a wrenching effort and dry heaving for a minute.

The arms that had comforted me before are now holding me back as I try desperately to get to her side.

“You have to let them take care of her. All you can do right now is get in the way. Let the medics do their job.” By this time paramedics are hustling into the room with a gurney and they quickly transfer her to it and run her out to their ambulance, pulling away almost immediately with siren wailing.

The firemen are beginning to pack up and get out of the way of the police who are now cuffing the unconscious pimp and yanking him back to awareness and his feet none too gently. For some reason I feel safe in Theo’s arms which for me is a little beyond unusual. I usually start at “Don’t Touch Me!” and get a bit bristly from there and as a result it has been a very long time since I have had a hug.

The giant with the metal leg continues to hold me as we are questioned outside the room by the police. At some point I see a familiar face and try to pull away, to be held back gently.

“Bonita! Please tell me you’ve got enough to lock that nasty little piece of shit up for a long time!”

“The rest of his life, however long that is. They don’t like pedophiles in there and they like pedophile pimps even less.” Her dark silken face spit into something that might charitably be called a smile, in the same way that a tiger may be said to smile at its dinner.

“We almost had a murder charge to add. If you’d gotten here even 2 or 3 minutes later it would have been too late. If the fire crews hadn’t started carrying Narcan it would have been too late. As it is, she’ll live but she’s strung out really badly and right now has the headache of a lifetime.” She reaches out and grasps my hand gently.

“You’ve saved another one. I don’t know how you do it, how you manage to help so many others when I’ve seen you ride that jagged edge yourself, seen you struggle with your own demons. You might not be a believer but I don’t know anyone who is a better Christian than you are.”

I can’t deal with that. I don’t deserve praise for almost failing. I don’t deserve to have people think things like that about me.

Suddenly her warm regard and the arms that have held and comforted me are stifling and I have to get away. A quick wriggle and pivot and I’m over the railing, clearing the hood of a parked police cruiser by a hair, down the alley, down another alley, running until I run out of breath, taking crazy risks crossing streets choked with fast-moving cars… But none of it catches my attention.

I’m lost inside my mind, a memory within a memory, being beaten endlessly…

Theo pulls me out of my flashback. I love and hate that particular memory… it is always just as vivid, just as potent as it was the first time around. As he wipes my eyes with his thumbs he is holding my face cradled in his hands and he kisses me over and over.

“Its ok Angel. I’ve got you. I love you. You’re safe. I’m here.” He keeps saying the same things, repeating them until he can tell from my focus on him and my response to his kiss that I’ve pulled out of it. This isn’t the first time we’ve been down this road together, soothed each other from the all consuming nightmares…

He pulled me to him and hugged me gently, knowing that a tight hug right now would just send me into a claustro-freakout. A short eternity later I think I’m all cried out but I can’t manage to pull my head away from Theo’s chest.

We’re standing out in the hallway and I can hear Mel cry out as another contraction hits, can hear the murmur of Rob and Dahl’s voices soothing and encouraging her.

The combination makes me smile. I’m so glad for all of them, that they have finally stopped dancing around each other and become the family that others saw long before they could.

It takes me a moment to realize that my family has seen me lose it so thoroughly and I can feel my face heating. It is embarrassing to lose control of myself that way, to show my crazy so clearly…

Theo can feel me shrinking a little against him and he turns while still holding me so I can see them. They are looking at me but not with the looks I expect to see. My sister looks distressed and like she wants to give me a hug but on all of their faces I see a knowing look.

Dad speaks up. “It helps to talk about it.”

“What?”

“It helps with the flashbacks. There were a lot of years gone before I started to learn that…” I know that haunted expression, I’ve seen it on the faces of many damaged people.

Beau nods in agreement and Michelle joins him a moment later. I can hear and feel Theo’s hum of affirmation.

“Okay but not right now.” Mel punctuates the moment by crying out yet again.

For the next couple of hours time seems to telescope, moving incredibly quickly until suddenly a thready wail follows on the heels of a screaming moan. A few minutes later Vinnie emerges and gestures Theo and I into the room.

Mel is holding a tiny bundle to her breast and I can see an adorable little face concentrating fully on the giving nipple. A completely incongruous thought runs through my mind. ‘Its true, all babies look like Winston Churchill…’

Mel motions us closer. “Angel and Theo, meet Angelique Maureen Hayes, your first goddaughter.”

I’m completely stunned. I mean the Godparent thing I expected but the name? I can tell that Theo is equally nonplussed and he clearly understands that Maureen is a feminine form of Maurice.

She chuckles tiredly at us. “You should see the expressions on your faces… By the way Rob agrees with me.”

My brain still hasn’t quite restarted so I just continue to stare. Theo regains the power of speech first.

“Um, what?”

She gets a little more serious but not much. “About the names of course… and about the other thing… but something has to happen to us both before that kicks in, now.” She grasps Rob’s hand with her free one as her regard turns to him.

He is clearly lost in wonder, his gaze alternating between mother and child and the intensity of his love shining in his eyes.

“What other thing?” Theo whispers into my ear.

This isn’t the right time to continue that so I give him an “I’ll tell you later” look and he nods, understanding. A moment later Vinnie taps Theo on the shoulder and pulls us both outside.

“The delivery was problem free, they are both healthy and strong. Just so you can tell everyone, she was 9 pounds 7 ounces. Right now she needs to be checked over more thoroughly as does little Angelique. That will take a few hours to complete and she will be asleep for a good while so right now the best thing you can do is to go home. Rob is going to stay with her and I will be here too, Mahindra is making sure all the paperwork is being taken care of. One of us will call you when she’s ready for visitors again, ok?”

He has furrowed his brow in mock severity, making his eyebrows look like warring caterpillars trying to take over his face. That look never fails to draw a grin from me and this time is no exception.

“Okay but if anything happens call?”

“Of course I will. Now before you go, why don’t you introduce me to your family?”

He has always been really perceptive but I didn’t expect him to nail that one. “How’d you know?”

“Well I talked to Mel and heard about the whole reunion. Then I see a guy who is about the right age and has the same chin and a woman the right age to be your sister who looks a bit like you. The only one I had to guess about was the guy with them and from the way they were standing it was clear they were together so I’m guessing husband?”

“I never realized I had his chin…”

“Well it’s not as blunt or scarred up but yes.” My sister speaks up. “Now who is this gentleman?”

I indicate Vinnie to my family.

“Meet Dr Vincenzo Massetti, one of the most selfless people it has been my privilege to know.”

I indicate my family in turn. “My sister Michelle and her husband Beau Lafayette. Our father George MacCloud.”

He shakes each hand in turn, telling them how nice it is to meet them then stands back to regard us as a group.

“I am sorry to hear of the loss you all have suffered but I’m glad to see that it has brought you back together.” He looks at me. “I expect an invitation to dinner soon so I can truly get to know them.”

I know he is only half joking on that score, he knows he is always welcome.

“Okay but plan on spending the night! No way you’re getting a cab down there and you won’t be fit to drive home!”

I’m only half joking too, Vinnie has been on a bender with Paul and I a couple of times and the two can pretty much match each other’s capacity for booze.

On that note we take our leave and make our way out to the street, scooping up an emotionally exhausted Dahl on the way. As they are all loading into the small SUV I realize how tight that is going to be with me in it too and reach a decision.

With a sense of relief I inform them that I’m going to take South High back in and before they can say anything I’m already skimming down the outside from the 5th floor where they parked.

South High in is different from the outbound route in several spots including its terminus and includes a fair amount of climbing so it really isn’t a time saver. The run gives me time and space within my own head and I really need that right now. This past week has been extremely stressful and I think its beginning to catch up with me.

I fall into a sort of trance as I go, completely focused on the now, the interplay of muscle and bone pushing me even further. It is a runner’s high but it is also a sort of meditation that allows… demands that I push myself beyond my limits.

In this mind-space time is not even a thing, it is an eternal now, almost a mystic connection with the universe. A tiny portion of my mind effortlessly finds the best possible path and it takes me a moment to realize that I have veered off course. On the heels of that realization comes another.

I hear screams…

Another jump, handhold, climb, jump again and as I ghost over the space between buildings I see the source of the screams being brutally raped. The music that plays in my head, the meter to my movement, becomes sharper, more defined, more insistent.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7a1zU0yxk6c
(Start at 10:20)

Thought doesn’t enter into the picture as that tiny route-finding portion of my mind shifts and expands, to become something else, something much harder.

Time to dance.

There are 4 of them, they look unarmed… Bouncing between window ledges I rapidly descend and drop into a half crouch right next the man on top of her. Shift my weight slightly and a palm strike at the base of his skull… not hard enough to sever his spinal cord but definitely enough to put him out instantly. He collapses onto her and I turn to see 3 very shocked looking men and one starting to reach into his jacket.

From this angle I can clearly see what I could not from above… he is carrying a gun and his hand is headed for it. Somehow I am not worried, it feels like I have plenty of time as I step forward and lash out hitting him with a toe-kick to the muscles on his forearm, hard enough to sink in between the bones.

The blow effectively paralyses his hand. The handgun he has managed to pull from its hiding place clatters to the ground as I follow up with a stamping kick to his solar plexus, knocking him back against the wall where he folds around himself trying to breathe.

Suddenly I am yanked off balance as an arm snakes around my neck and begins to squeeze. Jump up and back, throwing my full weight toward the stinking breath until I can feel him shift his weight toward me to keep his balance. Then curl forward, holding the arm around my neck, planting one foot and shifting just so again, push with the hip as he rolls over me and a stomp to his forehead causing his head to bounce off the slimy pavement.

The remaining man has pulled out a knife and is already beginning a slashing attack with it.

Lean away and he misses by a hair but he does catch the material of my top and creates a long tear. Damn I really loved that one!

He goes for another sweeping slash and I step into him, curling the knife wielding arm into my own and I end up with my back to him, almost as though he is holding me. Elbow strike, not too hard, right into the top of his throat causing his jaw to slam shut. Shift grip on the arm and heave and I can hear a nasty ripping sound as his elbow is suddenly backwards. Dance away, as he still tries to go after me with a gargled scream of hatred. Stamping kick to the side of his knee, whirl around his back and adding a gratuitous rabbit punch to his left kidney, repeat on the other knee.

He crumbles to the ground, just beginning to feel the agony of his destroyed joints.

Back to rapey bastard number 2… who has almost managed to reach his gun with the other hand. Not as much of a worry as I thought, the safety is still on so I have a good second more to work with… an eternity.

Quick half step and slam a heel into the junction at his shoulder, hitting a nerve cluster with pure battering force rather than a precision strike. I can feel beneath my foot as his shoulder is dislocated. Something rips and I can see his collarbone pop free on one end, sticking out obscenely.

The 2 conscious men are beginning to scream in agony. A quick moment to ensure there are no more surprises awaiting me and to gather the weapons they had carried. 2 guns, a switchblade, a survival knife and a high end stunpen.

Just as I have collected the weapons into a pile something hits me from behind, causing a flare of intense pain that registers along with the battering report of a handgun. The sound seems to echo and is unbearably, crashingly loud.

Kevlar is great stuff but it just isn’t capable of fully absorbing the impact of a bullet. That’s going to leave a nasty mark and it feels like I have a cracked rib but I can’t take time for that as I throw myself forward and to the side, reaching into my pack as I roll. A handle seems to fall into my grip and I pull, relaxing slightly to allow my fingers to skim down and grasp the point of the blade.

Twist and jump to the side again as he continues to fire. Full overhand throw and the long screwdriver spins through the air, embedding itself in his throat. The firing stops and his hand opens, grabbing at the handle and in the process throwing his gun to the side.

“Don’t!” I snap at him as he grasps the handle and I can tell he wants to pull it out. He stops with a look of confusion.

“If you pull that out, you die right now! Leave it in and you live!”

I’m already running toward him as he renews his grasp. No time… Jump, clip him in the temple with my knee and he goes down in a boneless slither. Fortunately I don’t have to do anything more, he has managed to fall onto his side in such a way that his head is below the wound so the blood will come out of his mouth instead of going into his lungs.

A quick run to the mouth of the alley to check for more.

Seeing it all clear I run back to where the woman is still pinned beneath her unconscious assailant. Her screaming has trailed off into sobs and I notice her phone lying beside her head. Picking it up I quickly call 911 and lay the phone back on the ground. Her GPS locator signal will give the police her location and the sounds of agony and fear filling the alley will ensure a fast response. Just to make sure I take another moment, reaching into my pack again and pulling out a package of industrial strength zip ties. One around each wrist, one around each ankle, then three more ties to join wrists and ankles together and pulling wrists and ankles together behind their backs.

The man who had been actively engaged in the rape when I stumbled upon them is bound before I roll him away from her. Checking her over quickly to see how severe her injuries are I can tell she’s going to be bruised quite badly and there is some blood at her crotch but not a large amount.

Realizing she will be physically okay I take a moment to smooth a graying strand of hair away from her eye. “You’ll be ok Maam. The police are on the way and they can’t hurt you anymore. You just remember to testify against them when the time comes. You never saw me, OK?”

She gives a tiny nod, trying to get herself under control yet unable to stop crying. As she looks away for a moment I see an opportunity and run more deeply into the alleyway, a dumpster obscuring me from her sight. This particular alley joins with another and I round the corner as fast as I can, running up the opposing wall and pushing off, twist, window ledge under my fingers and another leap, another twist and grab, ascending until I grasp the edge of a rooftop and pull myself over it to lie on the slightly sticky surface. Even using my legs almost exclusively to power up the climb each jarring movement sent a flare of agony through my back and shoulder

Just a bare moment, I can’t stop moving right now or I’m going to lock up. Already I can tell I’m not going to be doing anything particularly energetic as the effort of rolling to my feet sends a scream of pain flaring across the whole left side of my upper back. Down fire stairs and out into yet another alley, pull up a grate and bite back another searing bolt as I pull it back into place behind me. I’m not far away from West Low so I head in that direction. For some reason I barely take notice of the extremely confined space as I make my way through the tunnels, emerging just as my family enters from South Low.

I do my best to hide the increasing discomfort as I walk over and Theo wraps me in a tight hug. Still I can’t help tensing as his embrace causes the pain to ramp up another notch.

“What’s wrong?” He murmurs into my hair.

“Nothing, just banged up a little…” I feel guilty for being less than truthful with him so I say it into his chest.

For a moment I think he’s going to take it at face value but I feel him slip my pack off my shoulders and reach down to release the waist strap. Strong fingers probe at my back and I can’t help a small whimper escaping when they find the area.

“OK, let’s take a look and see.” He led me over to our tent, the others trailing along. Once inside he sat me down and peeled my top off. I sat there thankful for a bra as he probed and muttered to himself. I heard him mutter back and forth with Beau behind me.

“So you weren’t going to tell me you got shot twice?”

Ah crap.

“Once and no, it hit my pack so no worries.”

He comes around to face me, my pack and blouse dangling from his hands and I can still feel Beau’s gentle fingers touching my back, smearing something on it.

“And this?” He holds up my top, pointing at the tear that slashes almost completely across the front just above my navel.

He shoves the pack at me, completely unsealed so the front hangs open and you can see the holes in the padding over the Kevlar backing. There are 2 of them.

“Oh…” is all I can say for a moment.

Then he shows me a picture of my back. There are two angry red circular marks that look like they are on the way to becoming monumental bruises just above my bra strap, about 4 inches and 6 inches left of my spine.

“What the hell did you get into?” he demands, grasping my chin in one hand and forcing my face up to look at him.

I try for a moment to remain defiant but whatever Beau has spread on my back seems to be easing the pain. Without it I find I can’t manage to keep my walls up and the whole story comes rushing out.

Finally I run down and look up when Theo wipes tears I wasn’t aware of shedding from my face. His eyes shine with the closeness of tears and a look of pure love.

“That was really stupid, you know that, right?”

“Yeah I sorta figured that out about halfway through but it was a bit late to stop by then…” I deadpanned at him.

I hear my dad chuckle behind me.

“Yep, that’s my girl alright! She’s always been one to jump off a cliff and worry about whether there’s water at the bottom on the way down…”

That draws a snerk from Michelle. I can’t really argue all that much, it is mostly true.

“I couldn’t just wait and let them keep doing that… and it didn’t look like they were armed from up top. The whole thing was already FUBAR when I got there.”

Beau is still poking around back there but all I can feel is pressure.

“What did you use Beau? That’s some pretty awesome painkiller!” I’m beginning to realize I have a bit of euphoria going on. Maybe its the letdown from such a highly intense 20 seconds and the ensuing flight, maybe its just having my family around me and knowing they all tacitly approve of what I have done.

“Just a little something a buddy cooked up back in my service days…” he trails off.

More than just a little euphoria by now. I’m actually really stoned in a way I’ve never been before.

“Well yeah, but doooood… Whats init? I’m gettin seeerious fucktarded here…” I’m not kidding either, I’m developing a case of the loops and I honestly can’t tell if the weird wobbly perspective is due to my head moving or not.

I’m pretty sure he looks a little guilty and mumbles something but I wouldn’t testify to anything just now.

“What?”

“I said it’s a modified speedball with DMSO.”

“Whoah…” Funny how my mind seems perfectly clear and at the same time I feel energized and yet more high than I’ve ever been… uncomfortably so in a way. I will admit I’m feeling absolutely no pain.

A speedball is a mixture of cocaine and heroin. DMSO allows substances to cross the skin barrier into the bloodstream. It is one of the more efficient ways of getting something into the bloodstream quickly, the first being injection and the next two being inhalation and snorting.

“Modified?”

“Yeah… give it another minute. Right now you’re only feeling the coke which acts as a local anesthetic with a little euphoric kick and the heroin but there is also a nice dose of fentanyl to make sure any pain is gone and enough crank to offset the debilitating effects of the other drugs along with a broad spectrum antibiotic.”

He’s not kidding either, as he’s talking I can feel the other stuff kicking in hard. I’m still soaringly stoned but my mind is clear and my perception and movements have gained a razor edge. I’m also extremely aroused…

“Wow, this stuff could be incredibly addictive…”

“Yes it could, that’s why we didn’t share it except with a few others we trusted. It helps a lot when you’ve gotta E&E with wounded.” I can see a ghost of pain cross his face and decide to let it drop.

“Thank you.”

“What?”

“I’ve never actually been shot before… that seriously hurt!”

“Just wait a couple of days, it hasn’t really started hurting yet.” He smirks at me.

“Oh yay…”

“Don’t worry, I’ll leave enough Kick with Theo to get you through the worst of it.” He catches my gaze with his and looks into my eyes. “Only if you give me your word you will not self-medicate. I wouldn’t even trust myself with this stuff its so addictive.”

He holds out his hand driving home just how serious he is about this. I’ve seen enough of the pain and destruction addiction can wreak to more than agree with him as I shake his hand firmly.

“My honor… Brother.”

Wow, I didn’t expect to say that but it feels right. Again a ghost of pain flits across his eyes but I can tell it is an old familiar ache and one tempered with happy memories.

“You had a sister?”

He turns away and takes a moment to slip the glove off his other hand, being extremely careful to keep any of the ointment from touching his skin as he slips it into a zip baggie.

“I sprayed plaskin over it so it won’t rub off. Just a dot on a fingertip spread between both wounds should be good for 8 to 10 hours and after maybe 5 hours you’ll be able to eat and sleep. Don’t mix it with anything. No other painkillers, no alcohol, not even a joint. You’ve got enough for a couple of days and I’ll bring more.”

“Beau?”

“Yeah?” his voice is husky with emotion.

“Look at me.”

He takes a deep breath and lets it out as a gusty sigh, squaring his shoulders as he turns.

“Alexandra Marie. My big sister. She was lost in a hurricane when I was 12 and she was 15. The water took her… it was so dark and I just barely managed to hold onto the roof vent…”

His bayou drawl has gotten much thicker and I can hear a little boy still crying for the loss.

“I blamed myself for a long time. That’s why I went pararescue… I wanted to save lives in the most direct possible fashion, try to keep someone else from that same feeling of loss…”

He looks into my eyes finally.

“I had a sister… and now I have a new sister.” Turning to Theo and dad. “And a brother and another dad! I always wanted a brother but two dads? That might be a bit much…”

By now he is smiling and I can tell that the shadow has lifted.

“You think you got it bad? I just acquired two sons!”

Music by Anoushka Shankar