She walked across the park and took a seat on one of the empty park benches furthest away from the others. She looked out of place as everyone else was casually dressed or worse. She was wearing a soft brown three piece suit dress of obvious quality to those who knew what quality was in our day and age of anything goes. Her auburn hair touched her shoulders and was perfect with every strand in place with streaks of gray sprinkled throughout. Her makeup was stunning as it looked like she wasn’t wearing any as it enhanced her hidden beauty. Her lipstick was such a soft peach it almost looked like it was her own natural lips. Her gold and diamond earrings matched her necklace and her bracelet. Her legs were wrapped in silk nylons. Not the industry Walmart special kind. Her three inch polished brown leather heels matched her shoulder purse perfectly. If there were any of breeding left who knew what class was they would instantly know she was one of those of class.

The lady placed her purse down beside her and watched the families and kids as they played in the park. Nine young thugs were slowly making their way across the park annoying everyone and bullying others. They were snatching up items adults had left alone and unattended while taking care of their kids.

The lady watched as the rowdy bunch knocked a boy down who was trying to defend his girlfriend. Then they grabbed the girl and fondled her before they lost interest and moved to their next victims. She would have got up and left except the riffraff was between her and her car. She kept a wary eye on them as they slowly moved in her direction. She slowly slid her purse strap back up on shoulder and moved her hand inside her purse.

“Let’s see, there are nine of them and the gun you have in your purse is a revolver holding five shots. What are you going to do to the four you didn’t shoot when they are still coming at you?”

I looked up. To my right was a young woman of about seventeen or eighteen. She was wearing a long white dress which looked an awful lot like a robe. How did she know what I carried in my purse? “Maybe the others will run when the shooting starts. I won’t allow them to lay a hand on me.”

She walked around the end of the bench and sat down beside me. “Maybe and maybe not. But then, you’re afraid of them killing you if they found out. Aren’t you? Four can kill you just as easily as nine.”

“Find out about me?” I managed to cough out after I found my voice again.

“Hon, there isn’t a person out there who wouldn’t believe you aren’t all woman. Until the young brainless bullies tear your clothes off. They are going to demand you give them your purse and you are determined to give them lead instead. Kind of a lose lose situation for you. Say the others flee after you shoot one or two of them. The cops are going to pull you down to the station even if it is self defense.”

“On the other hand you give them your purse. Your ID along with your home address and everything else personal is in your purse. I’d bet a million dollars they would be at your house tomorrow demanding everything you own or they will spill your secret.” She turned from looking at the trouble makers slowly working our way and looked at me.

I shook my head. “You’re not helping. Either way I’m outed. I’ll take my chances with the police and jail.”

She was looking me in the eyes. “Did you love her?”

“What? Who? Who are you?” I couldn’t follow this weird conversation.

“Your wife, did you love her?” A hint of a smile touched her lips.

I was in total mental shock. How did she know? It took me a minute to compose myself. “yes” I whispered trying to get that much out. “I loved her with all my heart and soul. I would have gladly took her place.”

“And died in her place? It wasn’t an easy death.” She was studying my face.

“yes, I would have died in her place if God had given me the choice.” I couldn’t stop the tear that leaked out of the corner of my right eye.

“She was loved by everyone. She had it all, beauty, charm, intelligence, grace, and a photographic memory. She was the prettiest girl to ever walk this earth and why she married me I’ll never understand.”

She reached over and took my right hand out of my purse and held it in her left hand. “Because she loved you with all her heart too. Why didn’t you take the opportunity to have SRS when you had the surgeon and hospital lined up?”

“because…, because she said she would leave me. That wasn’t who she married. I loved her more than my own life. I made a choice to be the person she wanted instead of the person who is inside me. I canceled the surgery and shoved the woman inside me back into the darkness. It wasn’t easy and at times she demanded to be turned loose. For a few hours I would take out the clothes and let her come out of the dungeon I kept her locked in.”

More tears follow the first one leaving streaks in my makeup and eyeliner. I had no idea why I was spilling my life to this young girl? Maybe it was because it was time to tell it to someone, anyone? “I worked away from home time to time. Those times I was full time girl when I wasn’t on the job working. I looked pretty damn good too even if I do say so myself. I got hit on several times when I was out shopping or…,”

“Sitting in the park like now?” Her eyes were smiling now.

“Yeah, like now. I’m too old to get hit on now. Except by the hoods coming our way. They aren’t going to be asking me for a date.” I nodded toward the trash coming ever closer.

“If you had it to do over again, what would you change?”

“….I want to say, God make me a real girl. But…” I shook my head.

“But she wouldn’t be in that life would she?”

“no”

“What is your answer? What would you change?”

“nothing, not one damn thing. Except….”

“Except?” She kept pushing.

“Except, could God make me a whole male? This bit of half and half sucks big time. I hate what she had to put up with. She hated that half of me but she stayed with me anyway. She was everything I could never be. Remember the Johnny Cash song Teenage Queen? She was all of that and more. I lived my life through her. God should have taken me too when I lost her. I have nothing left to live for. We don’t live for ourselves but for the others we love. When I lost her I lost all purpose in life.”

She tightly held my hand to keep me from reaching for my gun as the pack of thugs stopped in front of us.

“Hey, old lady, give us your purse. I’d look good carrying a purse like that.” One of the tall dirty ones stepped up in front of the others.

“Yes you would. However I don’t feel obligated to help you in your self improvement. So if you want to look good I suggest you get a job, work for what you desire and spend your money and your time wisely.” I desperately wanted that gun in my hand and to be standing up to confront these thieves. The girl was keeping any of it from happening. I was beginning to wonder if she was with them?

She put her hand on my shoulder holding me down as she stood up. She had a black ribbon in her right hand she let unwind while holding onto the end. It was about four feet long. She wrapped it around her waist and tied it off. “Gentlemen, my friend and I are here to enjoy trading stories, watching the children play, and relaxing from the day.”

She clasp her hands together in front of her breasts and made a slight nod toward the nine gang members. “My boss believes in retribution if evil gets too far out of hand. Give everything back you have stolen and beg forgiveness for your sins.”

Everyone in the gang started looking at each other and laughing. I didn’t think the young girl understood what she was facing. I wanted to get up and help her but couldn’t.

“Bitch, you’re dumber than shit.” The one who had first spoke up stepped toward her as he brought his fists up.

I was off to the side and when she smiled it scared the hell out of me. I’d swear it was a ‘lunch is served smile’.

“I was going to say the same thing to you.”

Was that a kick to the side of his head? He was going down and she was bouncing on the balls of her feet. The others charged in mass, all eight men of different weight and height.

I knew she didn’t stand a chance! It was over before it began. Nine bodies on the ground in serious hurt. Some of them moaning and others weren’t.

She untied her black sash and it rolled back up into her hand. She held out her left hand toward me. “Come. Police will be here shortly. They were called twenty minutes ago about a disturbance in the park when these men first walked into the park. Not a priority on a police call and they are now getting around to sending someone out.”

Now I was able to stand up. “Who do you work for?”

She giggled. “You know the answer to that question.”

She walked beside me out to my car and got in when I unlocked the doors as if it was a normal thing for her to do.

“Why me?” I tried to focus on my driving instead of staring at her.

“You wanted answers and seemed to not be listening.”

“I’m tired of living. It was rough before and now…”

“Suicide isn’t the answer. You were given a gift. When people commit suicide they toss that gift back in His face telling Him it wasn’t good enough.”

I took a quick look in her direction. “How did you know?”

“He knows everything but gives everyone a choice. I was sent to make you think about the choice you were about to make.”

“You’re who I think you are. So now what? I hate this life. Are you going to change it for me?”

She shook her head. “You finish it the way it started. What you do with it is your choice. I’m not here to change anything for you. I only came by to make you think about what you planned. I won’t stop you if that is what you are asking. There are millions of people out there worse off than you and they aren’t contemplating suicide. If you want to dwell in that black hole called a pity party until it drags you in then I won’t stop you.”

Taking a long hard look at her I shook my head. “You’re not much of an angel. Not what I expected angels to act like.”

“Yeah, I get that a lot.” She giggled.

“How long you going to hang around?” She was awful cute even if she was out of my league.

“Oh, I’m through here. I was to make you think about what you have instead of what you lost. I did that so I’m good to go.”

“Would it be asking too much if I asked you to stick around for a little while?” I really wanted her to hang around so I had someone to talk to about things I couldn’t talk about with others.

She was looking at me and smiled. “I’m allowed to do that since you asked. I’ll have to go though when I get a new assignment.”

“I can accept that. I thought we were all supposed to have an individual angel assigned to us. What happened to mine?”

She laughed and I could feel it in my soul as well as hear it in my ears. “Haven’t you figured it out yet?”