A Love So Bold
by Anon Allsop

The story continues - Hope you enjoy!

-Thirteen-

When the sun climbed high into the sky, Hannah had found a small stand of trees to rest the horse and nurse Em while enjoying the comfort of the shade. She contentedly watched the child... her child, as she had finally accepted, nurse.

She had taken to pinning her long fiery hair up into a bun recently and removed a bonnet that Luttie had given her. This effort allowed a cool breeze to wash over her.

As her daughter suckled, she rummaged in the sack and removed a biscuit to eat. Both she and Em sat on the seat of the cart quietly eating, when an unusual sound brought the young mother to alertness.

She quickly picked up the Colt she had been given and placed it on the seat beside them. Taking a portion of her skirt, she concealed it under the material, yet handy to retrieve at a moment's notice.

Again she heard the sound; it was of a horse’s hoof kicking gravel. She began to watch through the trees and saw a rider moving nonchalantly toward her. Hannah lowered her hand to be nearer to the butt of the gun, unwilling to use it but to be ready nonetheless.

The rider pulled up short as soon as he realized that she was there. He rose up on his stirrups and quickly scanned the distance around them. From the look about him, Hannah did not trust him in the least.

"Howdy, ma'am," he politely called out as he tipped his hat. He walked his horse closer; Hannah's hand grasped the gun tighter.

He again shifted his eyes as if looking for whoever was with the young woman. "Now if you ain't a sight for sore eyes!" He smiled as he spoke.

Hannah took sight of him; she was revolted by his appearance. His teeth were stained yellow, and he was filthy and unshaven. His face was long and thin with a slightly upturned nose... but it was his voice that made her shudder.

He looked at her, his eyes shifting down to Em nursing and then back up to the lovely woman holding her. "Now, if I would have said I ain't seen a prettier sight, I would be lying." His nasally voice droned.

Hanna realized that she was showing this stranger much more than she wanted him to see, so she quickly covered herself with the bonnet she had removed. This action caused the stranger to snicker.

"You... you don't have to do that on my account. I was just beginning to enjoy myself."

"If you are wondering where my husband is- he’ll be back momentarily." She lied, hoping her ruse would make him think twice before pulling something.

His eyes shifted for a second, Hanna dropped her hand to her side to be nearer the gun once again. The slender man sat up straighter in his saddle and turned his horse to the side so he could look over his shoulder and still keep sight on this beautiful woman before him.

"I'm sorry; ma'am, but I don't see no sign of your man. I'm thinking you are alone out here in the middle of nowhere." He dropped his right hand to his side, making her feel all the more uncomfortable as it was resting upon the pistol he carried inside his belt.

"He's on horseback. He rode over to the river to truck back some water for us." Hanna replied as she used the hand that was holding Em to also hold the bonnet that was covering her breast from his view.

The man leered at her leaning back, flexing his shoulders from the discomfort of riding. His eyes were constantly on the move for the husband returning from the river. Feeling confident that she was lying, he began to swing down from his saddle. One leg had just started over the back of the horse.

There was a loud report and he hesitated as he returned his leg back into his stirrup. "Crazy bitch! You shot off the horn on my saddle!" His head quickly swiveled to face the young mother, the gun barrel still smoking in her right hand.

"I think you need to leave, because the next shot will be about a foot south of that!" Her words caused the man to look down at his crotch.

He tried to act like he wasn't spooked but he was definitely terrified by her marksmanship. She on the other hand was wrestling with her crying daughter, startled from the loud pistol shot, and the fear that was flip-flopping in her stomach.

He smiled and slowly shook his head at her, "You wouldn't shoot me in the pecker... would you?" His answer was to hear her cock back the hammer on the Walker Colt.

"Try me."

"You are one friggin crazy bitch, I'll say!" He thought for a second about climbing off his horse, but she was still holding all the cards in this high stakes game, and that included the gun. "I'll go, I'll go," he said raising his hands upward, each was holding the reins of his horse.

He shook his head and again looked down to see where she completely destroyed his saddle horn. "One crazy bitch..." he repeated as he turn his horse and trotted toward the south, all the while she held the big Colt on him.

Her eyes followed him until she lost sight of when he dropped over a slight rise in the terrain. Hannah looked down and thanked her lucky stars for the gun that Cap and Luttie traded to her.

She took her finger and gently broke the suction that Em had upon her breast, working it between her nipple and the child's lip. As she switched her to the opposite side she looked up and scanned the surrounding area, hoping the man would just keep on moving, for she didn't trust him any farther than she could have thrown him.

Kissing the top of Em's curly hair, she stroked her cheek lovingly as she held her. Unbelieving of everything that had transpired since she had been transformed, her eyes darted to the gun, half hidden under her skirt. Closing her eyes she prayed, thankful she didn't hit him... even though she had aimed to.

She looked up, a smile played at her face. The man must have thought she was a marksman... markswoman, but the truth be known it was just a horrible miss. She had been aiming for his chest and missed that by close to two feet. Sighing, she realized just how close she had actually come to burying her bullet deep into his chest... for that was where she had been aiming.

The shadows of the day had grown long when she came up to a little, secluded pond. She found a small trail that she could take her cart down that completely secluded her from prying eyes. There she unhitched Blackie and picketed him where he could get to the cool, clean water.

Em was asleep and she left her that way, wanting to take advantage of a brief moment of 'mommy time'. She climbed to the edge of the embankment that surrounded the pond, nothing was moving as far as her eyes could see. Cautiously, she returned to the pond and began to remove her clothing and set it aside. As best as she could, she brushed the dust from the trail off and gently laid them on the side of the cart.

Turning, she again cautiously looked around. Feeling quite secluded from prying eyes, she disrobed from the chemise and drawers. Completely naked, she retrieved a bar of lye soap from the bag that Luttie had given her and headed down to the water. Gingerly stepping in, she walked out until the water was well past her knees.

There she sank into it until it was over her shoulders and began to vigorously scrub at both articles of clothing she carried into the water with her. When satisfied at their cleanliness, she carried them back up and laid them out to dry in the sun.

The water ran down her body, and dewy drops clung to her skin almost like the kiss of rain on the soft green grasses of spring. She removed the pins in her bun and allowed her hair to once again fall around her slender shoulders. She was a breathtaking sight as the sun reflected back the water that dappled her soft skin.

Slowly the beauty returned once again to the water, gliding out into the deep where she gracefully dipped beneath the surface. She rose out of the water, looking much like a goddess in a long forgotten painting, and began to carefully wash her hair.

Any man who would have come upon her at that moment would have sworn that he had breached the very gates of heaven. She was beyond words in her beauty, and it seemed the longer she remained as Hannah, the more beautiful she became. It wasn't as though she changed in her physical appearance, but rather an unspoken inner beauty had begun to assert itself into her very being. It was as though her soul had become lit from within. She could feel it, but couldn't explain why it was happening.

Once she felt she was thoroughly cleaned, she swam to the shore and tossed the bar of soap onto the grass beside her clothing. Then she returned to swim and relax in the warm water, allowing the trials and tribulations of the day to release.

She heard Em waking up, and slowly ended her swim, once again returned to the cart. She peered over the edge and smiled as Emma was staring directly at her with the broadest grin. "You want to go swimming with momma?" She asked the small tot as she lifted her from the box, and removed her clothing.

The two quietly returned to the water, once it had reached Hannah's generous hips, she dipped her hand into the cool pond and slowly spread it onto her daughter’s legs and back. This was to allow Em to get used to the coolness of the water and show her that she had nothing to fear as long as her mother was close by.

Hannah could feel the bond between the two of them growing strong; she had been fearful but there was just something about this young person that made her heart melt. Whether she wanted to or not, she felt that she could never live without her.

She knew that somewhere between the burial place of Ezrah and here, she was slowly transforming inwardly almost as much as she had outwardly. No longer could she lay claim to that awkward boy, but now had emerged a grown woman with a young child of her own.

She held Em close and gently lowered herself and the baby into the water, soft supple skin touching soft supple skin. Both played in the water for nearly half an hour; it wasn't until Hannah examined her own wrinkled fingers that she decided they had had enough.

She carried Em to the box and laid her down, completely naked, picked up her clothing and returned to the water to clean it too. No time at all had seemed to pass as she climbed up the shore and wrung out the water from Em's gown.

Hanging it nearby, she tested the dampness of her own clothing; remarkably it was already dry. She quickly threw it over her head and returned to the side of her daughter. "Did Em like her bath?" she chirped to the youngster as she picked her up.

The sky became lit with pinks, blues and yellow as the sun dropped low on the horizon, Hannah sat in the lush grass with Em and admired God's handiwork, as her own mother would often call it. Once again she sadly recalled her mother, before Ezrah's change.

She had been a worrier, but her heart had always been in the right place. She had a good reason to worry though as Hannah thought back to the attack. Tears blurred her vision as she reflected that horrible day when she lost her parents.

She still was angry at herself for not burying them, even though she may have died had she tried. Then she frowned as she realized that she had been referring to herself as the female of the species. Seemingly she had left the male side long ago as she recalled having referred and answered to the woman within since probably when she found the cart.

She sighed. It didn't matter anymore, she would probably never figure out how to change herself back anyway. As she played with a curl in Em's hair she marveled at the role of a woman, now her role.

She wasn't ignorant to a woman's ways; her mother was a woman, wasn't she? Laughing, she realized that much of what she saw in her mother she would probably see in herself as she got older. Again her thoughts returned to the days that preceded the attack.

Her mother had been around four months pregnant, the little bump just beginning to be noticeable. Her eyes drifted past Emma and glanced at her own stomach, flattened from too little food and the exertion of the trail. Yet as she took her trim waist in, she couldn't help but to wonder what it was like for her to feel a child developing within?

Had the original Hannah been excited for this beautiful girl, had she been a willing mother to Cade? What was it like for her to...make love to Gideon? She had been a male once, she knew what caused the baby to be placed into the womb, but what did if feel like being put there?

Her face grew warm as she quietly thought of Gideon making love to the original Hannah. Did it hurt her? What did he look like? What type of lover was this man she had yet to meet? Could she allow herself to be taken if he asked? More importantly, would she want to?

She felt her heart race as sweat began to dapple her upper lip. She shouldn't be thinking this way... yet why not? Wasn't she already married? How else could she be holding her own daughter? She thought back to something that Hannah had told Ezrah, something about running from the wagon when the Indians attacked. She had seemed to be a good woman, a good mother… so why would she leave the safety of the wagon? Was it just confusion, panic… or some other reason altogether?

Had the original Hannah been a good and loving mother? From what she could remember, she had seemed to be. Was she a good and dutiful wife able to perform as she was expected to? Her thoughts swept over her like the waves of an ocean, coming one after another until she could stand no more. There were too many questions that she had no answers to… was it even possible for her to pull off ‘pretending’ to be Hannah when the time came?

She tried to occupy her mind with something other than the woman whose body she wore, because the constant internal turmoil would drive her insane. Thankfully she realized that as it grew darker, it would become colder. This was exactly what she needed to take her mind off of her situation. Hannah began to search for twigs and small branches, wanting to build a fire before the night turned cold. Once she felt she had found enough she laid Em aside in the soft grass and began to clear a spot big enough to not set the grass on fire. She found and began to pull at a dead patch then stuff it between the twigs. She lit one of the matches she had found in the shack and cupped her slender fingers around the flame to protect it.

The flame began to dance as she slowly drew her hands away; her eyes began to examine the slender fingers that Ezra's had become. Her mind again returned to thoughts of Gideon, and whether those hands had ever pleasured him. A strange feeling from her feminine opening caused her to grow strangely warm. She knew what was happening, although it had always happened to Ezrah, and his had a much different result.

She sat back upon her haunches; her chemise had ridden up above her slender thigh. She reached out and touched it, wondering if she had ever been touched there by Gideon? Hannah quickly stood and brought Emma up with her, trying to find anything that would distract her thoughts from those things she and Gideon may have done.

Hanna found a quiet place and pulled aside the neckline of the chemise, exposing a creamy breast to Em who eagerly latched upon the offered nipple. From where she sat, she tossed dried branches and bigger twigs onto the fire. While it wasn't a huge fire, it threw off enough light to softly glow the banks of the small pond.

There the two quietly lay as they, Hannah tired from her swim and Em growing full from nursing until both mother and daughter were gently sung to sleep by the tiny peepers and crickets that lived near the pond. Sometime during the evening, Hannah had tossed a few more sticks onto the glowing coals of the fire, and covered Emma with a lightweight shawl that Luttie had given her.

She sat up for another hour staring into the fluctuating coals of her fire, wondering what the next day might bring. Was she any closer to finding Gideon? Could he have been killed in the attack that injured the original Hannah? Sighing heavily, she settled back upon the soft grasses that cradled Em and ate another of Luttie’s biscuits. Around the time she was finishing her biscuit and drinking from her canteen, Emma began to stir. She was waking up and from the fullness she was feeling in her breasts, it was time to nurse her daughter. The young woman settled back and nursed Em until both fell soundly asleep. It was probably the best the two had ever slept.

-Fourteen-

The night was waning as a faint lightening of the sky began to slowly ebb away the darkness; Hannah had risen early and was chewing a piece of jerky. It was quite salty and made her extremely thirsty. She rose up, still wearing only her chemise and walked to the water’s edge and began to refill the canteen. Behind her, Em began to stir.

Past the blackened stubs of wood, the fire all but died long ago, she carried the canteen back toward Em, taking a sip as she walked. Quickly pushing the cork in, she made her way back to where Emma was still trying to wake herself, as she opened her pretty eyes up she grinned broadly. Hannah took a place in the grass beside her, leaned over and kissed her charge lightly upon the cheek.

“Good morning Em! How’s my beautiful little sleepy head?” She cooed and tickled at Em’s chubby chin, then laid aside the shawl that had been covering the precious child.

She poured water from the canteen onto a rag she had and began to gently wipe Em’s bottom clean of the night’s use, “We’ll get you all taken care of first, then how about we give you your breakfast?”

As she played with Em’s feet and hands, she skillfully dressed the young girl in her gown, with the expertise that only a mother would possess. Once she had been dressed, Hannah lifted her to her shoulder and began to walk her, singing a lullaby in her ear softly. She had to admit, never in a million years would she have taken to this little bundle of joy as Ezrah… but something was happening to her that she could not explain… something special.

Carrying her off to the side she sat upon a soft tuft of grasses, with a huge patch of wild daisies as her backdrop. She placed Em upon her thighs and blew softly upon her neck and stomach in play, which Em seemed to enjoy. Her nearness created a reaction to Hannah’s newfound maternal chemistry and she could feel the pressure beginning to assert itself within her bosom.

Gently lifting Emma up, she pushed aside the loose neckline and offered her nipple, Em began suckling almost immediately. Hannah started rocking from side to side humming the lullaby she had sung earlier, enjoying the quiet moment she was able to share with her daughter.

The sun was climbing higher, a hint of yellow was reflecting off the few clouds that hung in the sky. It looked to Hannah as it would be a beautiful morning, but at that moment, nothing could pull her eyes from the child in her arms. She had somehow found love in the middle of nowhere, a love that only a mother would understand. There were tears in her eyes as she looked upon the nursing infant, drinking what only God could have made possible.

Was this some sort of strange destiny that had been prearranged long before she had been born? Hannah was unsure, but whatever it was she would make the most of it. If God was going to place her here, instead of the original Hannah, then so be it.

To her right a small fish jumped in the pond, little ringlets circled outward from its wake. She momentarily glanced up, but what she held in her arms was to her, more breathtaking than any glorious sunrise or playful creature. What she held was the future of this nation, a lovely child put upon this earth for her to protect.

Hannah was mesmerized by the strawberry blonde ringlets that framed Emma’s face. They were so much like her own, and that she felt that as a child Hannah had to have looked very much like her. She couldn’t imagine anything more beautiful than this moment with her young daughter, a moment that she would likely cherish for the remainder of her days.

The time had come for her to gently persuade Em to let go and to switch sides and it took only a finger slid alongside her nipple to break the suction. She lifted her up and gently patted her back, trying to drive the air bubbles out. After a momentarily short burp, she parted her chemise and again lowered Em to the other side.

She looked up at the edge of the bank that surrounded the pond, the high side concealing her from possible discovery, the shadows were now growing shorter, the sun lighting more and more of the interior. Smiling, she listened to the sounds of her daughter nurse, little mews and squeaks from her drinking and the constant rhythmic breathing through her tiny nose. Em held onto Hannah’s finger as she drank, her tiny hand grasping the only woman she would ever call ‘mother’.

That thought wasn’t lost upon the young woman; she knew that with the change into Hannah heaped great responsibility onto someone who normally would have cared little. She studied this tiny child in her arms: she would become her protector, and she would give her very life in her defense.

At that moment, Em spit out the nipple and moved her face away and began to cry. Hannah lifted her up and began to gently pat her narrow back until she was rewarded with the burp. Once again she lowered her to her breast, thinking that surely she wasn’t finished… she did latch on for only a few pulls, then spit her out again.

“Okay, mommy understands… you’re through.” She used the hem of her chemise to wipe the milk from Em’s mouth, and then held her close, not wanting for this beautiful moment to end. Hannah sat holding her, a smile played upon her face as she watched her precious daughter looking back.