For those who don't know, I'm fat. I mean really, really fat. I used to be fat when I was in high school, but I'm way beyond that now. When I won districts my senior year the newspaper read "slimmer heavyweight wins title". I thought the article was about someone else because I was at the high end of the weight class at 275lbs. But the article was about me and was littered with fat jokes and how I struggled keeping under 275. Oh, how I wish I weighed that now. Instead, I am 615lbs. God I wish that was a typo. But it is a fact of life.

This is not a blog bemoaning my weight. But a blog to celebrate a unique opportunity.

The Learning Channel is looking to do a documentary on me losing weight and transitioning for the transgender wedding of the century. (I want white horses at my wedding, but I don't want to be a horse myself). I have been in contact with the casting department for the past few weeks and things are looking quite promising that this is going to happen.

The key is losing the weight. And I am confident I can. It is hard for me to do anything on my own for myself. I'm not built that way for whatever reason. But with a goal bigger than myself (let's face it, that goal would have to be huge) and the opportunity to encourage others along the way, I think I can really do it.

I know what to do. I've done it before. I think Erin has seen pictorial evidence of the fact. I will diet. I have been dieting (kind of), but now I will exercise as well. I will walk. I will walk a lot. I will get a gym membership. I will sweat. I will sweat buckets. I will sweat enough to flood entire smurf villages (I never trusted smurfs anyway, come on a thousand smurfs and only one girl).

There is a machine I would like to get to help. It is a recumbent elliptical called the NuStep t5xr. Unfortunately it is 6 grand. I missed out on financing (my score is not quite at 700). I was thinking of doing a gofundme page, I don't know. I might look into getting a loan from the bank or somewhere. People keeping sending me mail offering. I only have 3 grand free on credit cards. Maybe if people are willing to help, I'll set something up. You can message me in private.

I want to do this. I will do this. And everyday on the show I will plug big closet :) In the end though, I need to do this because I can't live at this weight. I hope I can get a core of people who will just keep tabs on me and help me stay motivated.