Many people may read my blogs and think that I am bipolar. I usually don't like to self-diagnose but sometimes I wonder the same thing.

But I have noticed a trend.

I am a highly empathetic person. I can really feel emotions of situations and put myself in the shoes of other people fairly easily. This is true with books that I read and movies that I watch, television shows and musicals. I don't know if it is a gift or a curse, but I have the uncanny knack for connecting with people, understanding where they are coming from and even dissecting their thought patterns and motivation (easier in real life than online). It helps in arguments, but can also lead to arguments if I push too far.

The empathy comes in handy and hurts me the most when I am writing though. When I wrote God Bless the Child I can't tell you how many times I died penning the Gatorade bottle scene or in Unreachable how many tears I shed over the possibilities that the kittens were crushed in the garbage truck (and that was with me already knowing it was a bad joke).

So now I am writing tough scenes for the Unreachable sequel. I feel alone and scared and abandoned when none of that isn't really happening to me in real life. I'll be in my car or sitting in my chair at home meditating and start crying as if I were Desiree. I'm going to work on not posting "Woe is me" blogs when I am writing the tough things. I realize I do it and I apologize. My life has been rough, but everyone's is in some way, so I've decided to back off a little and Joe Friday it for awhile. Things are going good. I'm helping the site in my own way and it's fulfilling and I'm writing, something I've loved since 3rd grade. I don't want to turn off the empathy because I feel that makes me work as an author, but I think I've been melodramatic for far too long and now that I've identified the issue, I'll work on it.

P.S. Btw, I still find it funny that Erin called me once to call me a son of a bitch because a fictitious Gatorade Bottle.