I got a FB PM from her this morning. She tells me that she still loves me but because of her belief's WILL NOT concider me to be her sister. Not only that but she will continue to use male pronouns and my birth name to introduce me to others and speak to me. She says she wants to have a conversation with me about my transitioning however from what I got from the PM, she is absolutely sure that God conciders what I am doing to be an abomination.
Now onto my daughter. My daugher lives with my sister and the last time I saw her was at Christmas. Before Christmas my daughter would occasionally show up at the Store I work at and we would talk. Since Christmas she has not dropped by even once and I am pretty sure it is because of my sister.
As for me, I am a Believer. I truely believe that God is my Lord and his Son, Jesus Christ is my Savior and Redeemer. I am not quite as well-versed in the Bible as my sister however, what I have found is there is NOTHING in the Bible condeming Transgender. God loves me for who I am in my heart and mind not for my body. God made me and he put a female brain into a male body for a reason. I have been trying to show my sister this by my words and actions. I will continue to explain to her that I am NOT going against God's Word. I am very happy to have my son, my brother and my mother fully supporting me in my journey though.
Comments
Well..
If your sister is using your daughter against you, and much of your family supports you. Then, perhaps it is time you talk to the family members that support you, and organize a family get together with everyone involved. And talk it out that way.
Trying to handle this one on one is tricky. Having other family members involved provides a more open forum and witnesses.
A warning on the label ...
Since 2004 when I came out, life has gotten better for TG folk. And, I have been so fortunate and blessed to now find myself in a community that is 100% supportive, though for reasons I do not understand, they have been quite condemning to other TG folk. There is now movement from within the group that the Mormon's official position may soften, though there are no guarantees.
Often I sound negative to new transitioners because I want them to be prepared for the blood letting to follow. It is a tough journey filled with much self doubt and many tears. Even after 11 years, 8 years after SRS, life is at times quite lonely, though it seems that mostly my own negative assumptions cause me the most pain. Some here think me quite mean and negative, and I have had the experience of having someone I encouraged come to me crying saying that I should have told them how hard it would be, in effect blaming me for their pain.
I am happy to hear that much of your family is supportive, and that means so much. My own family refuse to use my correct gender, despite genetic abnormality. I wish you the best and hope that you will be able to reconnect with your daughter. One thing that I have seen is a daughter like no one else tends to see her father, if he is not an abuser, as occupying a place right next to God himself. Perhaps to her, her father is at times God? Please be patient with her. You may still have to be Dad to her.
I have a difficulty in understanding
how someone can condemn another for being different, and then support their prejudices by suggesting that they are supported by their gods and scriptures. Why can't they just admit that they are so inadequate in themselves that they can't cope with anything outside a very narrow view of life.
As their is no evidence of any sort of god that stands up to critical examination, and we know the scriptures of all religions were written by men and have been revised many times they have no basis in fact. These people need to grow up and if they claim to be believers, show a bit of Christian charity and love like their founder was reputed to have done.
Angharad
then you should probably get your daughter away from her
If your sister is going to be cruel to you. It is sad when people have such narrow hateful views and use scripture to support it. You are beautiful and just know that
More attention from professionals
I only just returned from seeing my VA counselor and we had an interesting conversation. The Portland VA and Oregon Health Sciences University are right next to each other. In the Portland area, the GBLT action PAC is deeply entrenched. She told me that especially in the last year and a half that there have been a lot of meetings centered on how to better help the GBLT and that most of the meetings are about how to help T folk, both FtM and MtF. AND as I was walking out of the office, I ran into a woman who I'd been in group with several years ago. As we talked she mentioned that she had written a book about Female PTSD. We talked about her book for a while and then I mentioned my own writing and the fact that I was likely to stop writing TG stories and go to straight Sci Fi. Three of the people, NON TG, around us said, "Don't do that", TG stories have a nitche now and people want to read them. So, yes it has gotten better. :)
Well you are in a pickle a bit
I mean, a literal interpretation of the bible would support her position. So why do you think her conservative stance is wrong, ignoring for the moment your own personal needs? There are a lot of Christian conservatives in charge in the country now so they must have some reason to believe what they believe.
Well what you are going through is a common problem unfortunately but it sounds like you are between Scylla and Charybdis here with her. I hope you find some way to resolve it but she is holding to an extremely inflexible position that is not tempered by love but she expects you to respect her faith.
That literal interpretation ...
Having been an evangelical for 32 years, I was trapped in that mind trap. In doing their "literal interpretation", they have literally thrown the mercy of Jesus Christ out and replaced it with fatal legalism that denies the very existence of God.
You can't expect her to quickly abandon all that she has been taught, but the pure fact is that she has been taught heresy that began in the 4th century.
Afraid I'm gonna have to tag in with
"An thou woulds't not be sinned against, avoid the sinner".
Someone using faith as a starting position has already rejected anyone else's position as invalid ... she isn't asking you to "converse" with her, that would imply she has any intent of listening to you. She is preparing a pejorative sermon, with the intent of 'correcting' your position by bringing it into alignment with her own. Ignoring, of course, the fact that she's attacking her own blood with it ...
GET YOUR DAUGHTER OUT OF THERE.
No-one needs to be beaten with other people's problems, but this is exactly what is happening. The best that you can hope for is if you leave her alone long enough, she MIGHT rethink the situation to the point of actually being willing to discuss it.
My sister's position
Yes, I know full well what her position is. However, I have always been a stubborn Bitch all of my life especially when I know what I am doing. I have enough Bible knowledge to keep from being out-flanked on that position. My sister will most likely use passages from the Old Testament while I will stick to the New Testament for my responses.
For the short-term though I will accept that she is going to refer to me as her brother and use male pronouns. I will however request that she use my preferred name especially after it becomes my legal name.
As for my daughter, she is an adult and college grad so where she lives is entirely up to her.