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any chance

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Maddy Bell's picture

that you could make it readable?


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Madeline Anafrid Bell

Any chance

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you could explain your problem and be helpful at all?

Welcome

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Kudos on being a new Author . You need to put some breaks in the story to make it easier to read other than that nice little story. Looking forward to some more shorts from you , get your feet wet the go for a multi part long story (lol)
Hugs and a happy new Year Richie2

Thanks for the tip, that was

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Thanks for the tip, that was the first thing I've ever posted and I was so nervous that I didn't think about spacing it better. Thank you, when I post stuff in the future, you and the other people commenting here can know it'll be at least a little better because of your help. Thanks, again.

I know you've already gotten...

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Two comments about the lack of formatting but it is pretty jarring to read it. Not because of its size, but because everything is jammed in all at once and it gets hard to parse.

If you don't stand for something you'll fall for anything.

I get what you're saying and

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I get what you're saying and thank you. I was trying to get right into the story without skipping over anything. Thi was a first try and will be continued so keep commenting and let me know these little thoughts, tips and criticisms. I appreciate it.

Nice story

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Ripe for a continuaton. I see the grammar police are being a teensy little bit cruel! lets encourage new authors

Thanks so much for your

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Thanks so much for your encouragement, it can be scary writing for the first time publically and I was very nervous that everyone would hate my story. But so far it sounds like I just need to make some spacing and writing adjustments and most of these comments are things I can work on and use in future stuff I post. Thanks for taking the time to say something positive, it means a lot to me.

Not As Grammar Police

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joannebarbarella's picture

I had no problem with the content of the story, or your writing style, please understand that.

However, you must improve your layout. Have a look at the way the experienced authors here break their writing into fairly short paragraphs and put spacing between them, and where there is dialogue that is also separated for easy understanding and to allow the reader to identify each speaker.

If you follow similar patterns in your writing you will make it much more enjoyable for the reader and most likely get more people reading your stories.

Good luck.

I really appreciate this

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I really appreciate this comment, I am learning and can use your criticism to improve, thank you very much. I made a few adjustments and will keep this in mind when posting future writings.

Welcome to New Author

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Angela Rasch (Jill M I)

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