Five Hertz of Separation

CHAPTER FORTY SIX

I don’t think anyone heard the “ding” of the elevator when it reached to lobby. There had been a few cries of surprise when the door of one elevator opened and Pegues boarded several minutes earlier, headed for the top floor after Alex called on the radio. That was over ten minutes ago and most everyone’s attention had returned to the locked doors. I had been watching very carefully since she left and was relieved when I saw the display above the elevator indicated it was returning to the lobby. I waived my hand in the air to get Johnathyn’s attention but Lee had already seen what I had and they were on the move towards the descending cab.

I abandon the gardening equipment but pick up the few remaining potion vials, stuffing them into the pocket of my apron. I’d already recovered the vials Pegues had left behind when she had responded to Alex’s call. I work my way through the crowd, offering brief “excuse me’s” when I push past someone. Lee and Johnathyn arrived before I did, which is hardly surprising given Lee’s enthusiasm and Johnathyn’s determination.

I hope she didn’t hurt anyone too badly.

Alex smiles broadly when he sees us waiting for him when the doors open.

“Time to go, gang!” he exclaims.

“Did we win, Mother?” Lee asks.

He reaches out and vigorously ruffles Lee’s hair. “We did and you helped. A lot.”

Lee responds with a laugh and clapping his hands. Johnathyn drops her hand on his shoulder, calming him.

“Victory is not won until you leave the field of battle,” Johnathyn says. “It would be best if we depart as quickly as possible.”

“You read my mind, Honey. You got what you need, Janet?”

I pat the pocket of the apron that holds the vials. “Yes. Let’s get out of here, Alex.”

“Fine by me. Everybody get behind me while I part the crowd.”

Alex puts his hands together, palm against palm, fingers extended. He turns to face the door and slowly separates his hands. The crowd shifts slightly, creating a narrow path all the way to the doors. Alex charges forward and we follow close behind.

When we reach the door, I can see that two befuddled technicians have it partially disassembled, the guard keeping the crowd back. Alex lays his hand lightly on the door.

“HEY! Buddy! Back off!” the guard shouts.

“Don’t worry, officer. I’ve got this,” he calmly replies, waiving the crowd on the outside back a couple of feet. “Watch your hands, gentlemen,” he tells the technicians, who lean back, away from the control box. There’s a loud “thunk” as the multiple deadbolts all open at one time and Alex pushes the left door open to the general applause of both crowds. Someone on the outside grabs the right door, pulling it open too as we rapidly exit and work our way to the outside edge of the people waiting to get in, leaving the guard to deal with the two crowds, each trying to move through both doors in opposite directions at the same time.

Once we reach the sidewalk, Alex gathers us together.

“Janet, you and Mirantha take the truck, go back to her rooms and pick up our stuff, then head back to your shop. Johnathyn, Lee and I will catch the subway on the other side of the park and meet you there. Don’t speed or run a red light, that registration won’t stand a whole lot of scrutiny.”

“Not your best work?” I inquire.

“I was pressed for time. It’ll get straightened out before we go. See ya’ soon.”

Mirantha and I hurry to the truck parked around the corner on 56th Street, unlock it, jump in, start it and drive to the intersection, then turn right in front of the happily waving Tyber family.

* * * *** * * * *** * * *

It’s a slow, comfortable stroll through Central Park, Johnathyn and I holding hands while Leeanna darts here and there, sometimes holding my hand and other times just running around. We look like a typical family out for a walk in the late summer.

Looks are certainly deceiving.

I really should have spent more time in this park when I was growing up. We didn’t live anywhere near it back then but it wouldn’t have been that hard to come once in a while. Now it’s too late. Johnathyn notices my wistful look.

“What is wrong, Alexia? Are you displeased with what was accomplished?”

“No. I was just thinking about the wasted opportunities of my youth.”

“You are still quite young for this world. On my world, someone your age would be expected to have left home and have borne at least two children by now but that is not true for this world. I have spent some time watching your tel-a-vision programs and have learned a great deal about your world.”

“Oh God, Johnathyn! I hate to think what you’ve learned. Television is not reality. In fact, the least real shows are so-called Reality programs.”

“I don’t understand.”

“You and a lot of other people. It’s a good thing we’re getting out of here before you get screwed up even more. Lee!”

Leeanna was messing with a small fountain but came running when I called her name.

“Yes, Mother?”

“Is there anything you want to see before we leave for home?”

“No. We are coming back, aren’t we?”

“I hadn’t thought about that. I guess we could but not anytime soon. We’ve got too much work to do.”

“Then may I have McRibs and ice cream before we go?”

“They are addictive, aren’t they? What do you say, Johnathyn? A last meal before we go?”

“We need to eat, of course, but if we cross over from here, we will be near New Amsterdam and very far from Glory. Should we not travel closer to Glory in this world and cross over at that point?”

“Don’t you want to check on the homestead? Make sure your home and shop are in good shape?”

“It is desirable, Alexia, but we need to reach Glory as quickly as possible. Much is at stake.”

“Trust me, Johnathyn. A quick stop at New Amsterdam and I’ll get us to Glory before you know it. Let’s hit McDonalds.”

* * * *** * * * *** * * *

We needed a secluded spot to fire up the Portal Generator, something at ground level. I’d already crossed over from the second floor once and had no desire to do that again. We could have used LaRouche’s store but the Gateway might do some damage. Janet remembered a warehouse that a friend of hers owned where she and other like minded magic practioners had held a few ceremonies. It’s in the harbor district, which is perfect. Janet called her friend and made arraignments for us to get access tonight.

We load our stuff in the truck, Janet and Mirantha driving it to the warehouse with the rest of us following in a taxi. Janet’s friend is waiting by the access door when we get there. She and Janet have a quick hug and she unlocks the door. She offers Janet the keys but Janet declines.

“You keep them. We’ll shut the door behind us when we leave. We won’t be long.”

“I could wait, if you want?”

You can tell she’s curious about what we’ve got planned but we can’t tell her the truth. I take her hand and turn on the charm.

“Bless you for helping us! My wife and I would be lost without Mistress LaRouche’s help and she tells us this is our best chance of success. We can’t thank you enough!”

“You’re – you’re certainly welcome. What is the problem … if I may ask?”

“Are you a magic practioner like Mistress LaRouche?”

“Ahhh, yes. I – I would say so. Yes.”

“Well, not to be too explicit. It’s a fertility matter,” I say, conspiratorially.

“Fer-fertility?” she stammers.

I hold out my free hand towards Johnathyn. He stares at it for several seconds before reluctantly taking it.

“You see, my dear wife is desperate for a child and we’ve tried practically everything but no luck. We finally turned to Mistress LaRouche for help. She hasn’t promised this will work but she says she has a good feeling about it and that’s enough for us, isn’t it, baby?”

I give Johnathyn’s hand a squeeze. He looks as if he would prefer to wring my neck.

“Yes … baby,” he replies through gritted teeth.

“I see. Well, good luck to both of you. I’ll just be on my way. Make sure you clean up, uuhh, lock up when you’re done.” She hurries away towards her car, waving her hand.

“Alexia, why did you say such a thing? I have no interest in bearing a child.”

“I know that, Johnathyn, but we needed her out of here. Mission accomplished. Let’s unload and get moving.”

I grab my battered emergency backpack as the rest of them pick up a bag or two and we all hurry through the door, locking it behind us.

“What now?” asks Janet.

“First. Pegues. Janet has agreed to let you stay at her place.”

“So she can keep me under observation for you?”

I start to answer him but Janet beats me to it.

“No,” she says. “I want you to stay with me so I can help. You may have spent some time in this world but you’re still basically a newcomer. You’ll also need help learning to live as a woman. A few weeks are one thing. A few years are something else.”

“And what do you get out of this, Mistress LaRouche? If I’m permitted to ask?”

“I get a paying tenant. Alex has prepaid for a year. Plus, I get someone who can answer all my questions about your world. This is a unique opportunity for me. I’m sure I can learn so much from you and you can learn from me. With your help, I may be able to strengthen magic in this world. I don’t want to miss this chance.”

Pegues relaxes a bit. “I apologize, Mistress LaRouche. I accept your offer. How am I to pay the rest of my expenses?”

I pull a thick envelope from my pack. “Here’s the title to the truck, a Social Security card, a New York Birth Certificate, picture ID and two charge cards, all in the name of ‘Mirantha Pegues.’ You’ll have to get your own drivers license, I’m not unleashing another lousy driver on the city. There’s also $100,000.00 in cash in here. New York’s an expensive town but this should hold you for awhile, at least until we get some trade restarted between the worlds and you can begin collecting some reasonable kickbacks.” I toss the package to Pegues. “That answer your question?”

He opens the envelope and thumbs through the contents until he finds his ID. He inspects the photograph.

“This doesn’t look anything like me.”

“That’s what makes it look authentic. They never do. This is the part you’re not going to like. I’m taking the portable Gateway back with us to the other side.”

“NO! I’ll be stranded!”

“Yeah, you will, at least for a few months. Hear me out. The Consortium has to know that we have their lost Gateway. Once I’m gone, you’ll be on your own, unprotected. They can send their people in and find it or scoop you up and make you tell them where you hid it.”

“You do not give me enough credit, Alex,” he complained.

“You might be right but we can’t afford to lose it. I need to be able to come and go as I wish, can’t lose the element of surprise. Once things get established, that may change but it’s the truth for now.”

“You don’t even know how it operates.”

“Actually, I do. I found the manual on their servers. I’m not abandoning you here, Miran. That’s another reason for Janet to stay involved. She knows people, she has contacts. If things go wrong, she can help you disappear. I’ll be checking in and if everything goes to hell, I’ll personally come and get you. You have my word.”

Just then, Johnathyn moves to stand behind me to my left. I could tell that Pegues knew he wasn’t going to win this fight. He kneels down, unzips the bag at his feet and removes the wand, handing it to me as he stands up.

“Thank you, Miran. I won’t leave you hanging.”

He shrugs. “I have always been at your mercy since we first met. While I may think I could have been better served, I have never given you a reason to treat me so. However, you have always kept your word. I will rely on that not changing. Good luck and may Zaphod be with you.”

He offers me his hand. I shake it, as does Johnathyn.

“Zaphod’s favor be with you, Miran Pegues,” says Johnathyn. “We will meet again.”

Leeanna runs in and hugs Pegues’ waist. She has already changed her clothes and is wearing a dress and leather half boots.

“Zaphod’s favor be with you, Uncle Miran,” she says.

He smiles and pats her head. I lightly slap his shoulder. “Looks like you’re officially family now, Uncle Miran. You and Johnathyn can get the equipment ready to go.”

He and Johnathyn start to stack the bags next to where we plan to open the portal as Janet slips next to me.

“You will keep an eye on him, won’t you Janet?”

“Of course but she’s a wily one.”

“He is that. You be careful too. You’re in the crosshairs now, along with the rest of us.”

“Won’t be the first time, Alex. You take care of that little girl, you hear. If you don’t …”

“I know. See ya’ soon.”

“I expect you to invite me to come visit you over there, Alex.”

“When things settle down, you’ll be first in line.”

I trot over to the launch point where everyone else is waiting.

“Johnathyn, you can change on this side. You’re getting bigger. I’ll have to wait until I land over there. Did you bring something for me to wear?”

He pats a particularly large duffle bag, stuffed to the breaking point.

“You should find something in here that fits.”

Leeanna starts to giggle but quickly stifles herself.

“What’s up?” I ask.

“There is nothing up, Alex. We have clothes for you.” He points to a stack of boxes off to the side as he picks up a smaller bag. “I will change over there.”

“Fine, but hurry. Pegues, let’s run through the instructions on this wand.”

Johnathyn steps away as Pegues moves in.

“It is surprisingly simple, my Queen.” He grins as he takes the wand from me. Guess I better get used to that title. “You enter the frequency of the world you wish to travel to on this keypad built in the handle, then push the red ‘lock’ button, then push the blue ‘engage’ button.”

“Got it. That powers up the wand and you turn these three knobs until the device locks in all three dimensions.”

“If you say so, my Queen. I just know that I turn the knobs until the lights stop blinking. That’s when the portal opens. It will remain open and strong for thirty to fifty milicycles but the lock will begin to fail. You can manually adjust with the knobs but it will quickly become impossible to keep the lock and the portal collapses. If you take the wand with you, the portal collapses instantly as soon as you cross over.”

“So the operator is the last to leave.”

“If it is a group, correct, my Queen. I was told that it was originally designed for just one person but the only limitation is how long the portal remains open.”

He’s really trying to push my buttons with this “my Queen” stuff. I’m not happy about it but there’s really no other choice, at least no other choice that doesn’t leave me looking like a selfish jerk. Pegues was right. I broke it so I bought it.

“Johnathyn! Let’s blow this popsicle stand!” I shout.

“Give me a moment!” he answers from behind the boxes. After a few seconds, he walks out, tugging at the waist of his larger pants. “This is most uncomfortable.”

“Well, in about ten decicycles you’ll be back to your old comfortable self and I’ll be the one who’s uncomfortable. At least for awhile.”

Johnathyn looks concerned. “Alexia, if you do not wish to return with us …”

“No, Johnathyn, I do. I really do. But it’s not the way I’d prefer to do it. You know that I never wanted to be Queen but now there’s no way around it. Let’s get ready. I don’t have Pegues’ skill with the wand so we’ll have to be quick about this.”

“I suggest that we have all the bags stacked where I can reach them. You open the portal, I throw the bags through then I follow. I will shout back if there is a problem. If not, you and Leeanna follow.”

“You shout back either way, problem or not. That way, we’ll know right away. Only stop us if it’s a big problem. In fact,” I grab my backpack and open an outside pocket, pulling out a tightly wrapped length of rope, “this is a hundred feet of nylon rope. It’s not strong enough to climb with but if we double it up and tie it to your waist, you can tug on it to signal it’s okay to cross over. If you run into trouble, we can pull you back across.”

“It is a one way gateway,” Pegues says.

“How do we know that?” I ask. “Has anyone tried to come back across on the same trip? We only try it if we’ve got an emergency. We could be jumping over a cliff.”

“Unlikely, my Queen. This is flat land in both worlds. Primarily river bottom.”

“So it could be a flood, Mirantha. It’s just a precaution. You’re probably right but I’d prefer not to take any more chances than necessary.” I unwrap the rope, locate the middle, loop it, tying a hitch at the midpoint. “Come here, Johnathyn.” He steps next to me. I whip the hitch end around his waist and feed the other ends through the hitch, then tie it loosely.

“Caution, Alexia. It should not be too tight.”

“Don’t worry, It’ll give a few inches. Just keep a grip on it with your hand.” I wrap the free end twice around a support beam then tie it tightly. I reach into my pocket and remove a folding knife, handing it to LaRouche. “You cut this when Leeanna and I jump through. Be careful, it’s sharp.”

She opens it and drags the blade lightly across the back of her left hand, leaving a hairs width red line.

“I’ve handled sharper but it should do. Take care, all three of you. What was it you said? Zaphod’s favor be with you all.”

“And with you, Mistress LaRouche,” Leanna says, adding a curtsey. Which looks really strange, seeing she’s a boy in a too small dress. Janet hides her smile as she nods her head in acceptance.

“My best wishes also, Mistress LaRouche,” adds Johnathyn.

“Ditto, Mistress LaRouche,” I contribute with a grin.

“Thank you. My Queen.”

“Touche. Let’s get this show on the road. Pegues, give me a hand with this.”

“As you wish, my …” I raise my finger in warning and he stops talking but still comes and looks around my shoulder as I fire up the wand. “Yes, just like that. Turn the knob slower. Do not rush. Treat it as you would a woman.”

“How poetic.”

I do slow down and the first row of lights stays lit, quickly followed by the second. I take the third knob in hand.

“Get ready everyone! I’ve almost got it. Leeanna, you hold the rope.”

She reaches down and grabs the twin ropes just as the blinking of third set of lights slows. Just as before, the air begins to shimmer, radiating away from a point in front of Johnathyn. He picks up a bag in each hand and crouches slightly, poised to throw them at my signal. One blinking light remains as the dark center of the portal expands to a pulsing circle about four feet in diameter. The light locks on.

“GO, JOHNATHYN!” I bellow.

He speedily tosses the bags, including my backpack into the portal, glances back first at Leeanna then me, gives me a thumbs up and dives into the dark center of the gateway, the rope trailing behind him. I watch foot after foot disappearing, wishing for it to stop immediately. Leeanna is staring intently at the portal as the rope slips through her hands, a slight smile on her face. She doesn’t realize that the quickly diminishing pile of rope on our side of the gateway is not a good sign.

Suddenly one of the lights begins to darken. I grab the knob.

“Carefully, Alex. A light touch,” Pegues admonishes. “You may not have much time left.”

“MOTHER!” Leeanna squeals. “The rope has stopped!”

Thank God! “Hold on, Honey. Let me know as soon as …”

“He pulled on it, Mother! Father pulled – he pulled again! Hurry!”

I rush to Leeanna, hug her to me with the wand between us.

I look back at LaRouche. “CUT THE ROPE!” She grabs it and slashes with the knife, cleanly cutting both strands. She closes the knife and tosses it to me. I catch it with my right hand, stuff it into my coat pocket then scoop up the lose ends of the rope.

“We’ll be back. I promise.”

Leeanna grabs me around the neck and we leap into the darkness.

CHAPTER FORTY SEVEN

We didn’t fall nearly as far as last time. It was like slipping on a sidewalk. One second you’re on your feet, the next second you’re on your back.

In the mud.

Again.

Luckily, Leeanna was on top of me so she stays mostly clean and I’ve got a change of clothes this time. Johnathyn wasn’t quite as lucky. His pants are brown with mud almost all the way to his waist and his shirt is the same from his elbows to his wrists. He’s silent but steaming, angry enough to bite the heads off nails. I fight back the urge to laugh.

“Aaahh, okay. Leeanna, carefully stand up and move towards dry land.”

“Where’s that?”

“I don’t know, Sweetheart. Use your best judgment. Try to stay as clean as possible.”

She pushes herself up off my chest, her hands groping my breasts. I wince in pain.

“Sorry,” she whispers. “I forgot.”

“That’s fine, Lee. Go on.”

She moves her hands down to my stomach and quickly gets to her feet. I set up and look around. We’ve landed in a field but no animals this time. Thank Zaphod. I roll over onto my right elbow and shove myself up to my knees, shaking my arms to remove the grime.

“You look a fright,” says Johnathyn.

“Just like old times. Where are we?”

“I am unsure though I believe that there is a road to our left about 200 decileagues away.”

“Great. Maybe we can catch a bus. Let’s get these bags out of this slop. At least they’re waterproof.”

“Your pack isn’t.”

“But the stuff inside is. It’s seen worse.”

“Can I help?” asks Leeanna.

“No, Honey. Stay where you are.”

I carefully get to my feet, minimizing my contact with the mud. I really shouldn’t have bothered. I had to change anyway. Johnathyn was the one who has it rough. I grab the bag nearest me and toss it underhand in his direction. It lands in the mud with a big splat about two thirds of the way there. I forgot about the change in my strength.

“Sorry, Johnathyn. I haven’t adapted yet.”

He steps back into the slop and retrieves that bag and another nearby. “I understand, Alexia,” he answers with an indulgent smile. “It took me many cycles to ‘adapt’ as you say when I was in your world.” He easily throws both bags to dry ground then flexes his arms. “It is satisfactory for everything to be back to normal.”

Normal for him maybe. I struggle towards my backpack as he goes after the other two bags. When I reach it, he motions for me to toss it to him.

“No thanks. Everything in here has been through enough already. I’ve got it.”

I’m closer to where Lee is standing so I make my way towards her, careful not to slip and fall. She reaches out to help me as I get near her. I don’t really need her help but I grab her hand anyway. She grunts several times as she pulls me towards her.

“My! Thank you, Leeanna!”

“You’re welcome, Mother. Is everything in your pack unbroken?”

“Probably. It’s got a lot of padding. I’ll check it once we get clear of this mud hole. Acres of perfectly green, dry fields and we land in this.”

“It is softer than the ground,” says Johnathyn as he approaches us, walking around the mud pit, carrying all four bags in his hands. Showoff. “We may have been fortunate to arrive here.”

I look at his mud caked clothes. “Do you feel fortunate?”

He uselessly wipes a dirty hand across the front of his dirty shirt, looking at the result. “Not at this time, Alexia.”

“I thought not.” I set my pack down and drop to my knees next to Leeanna, She’s the cleanest of us all but she has mud splatters on her dress and her shoes are filthy up to her ankles. I brush at the mud on her dress, wishing I had something to clean her up with, wishing the mud to be gone.

The mud falls off her dress as soon as I touch it, like it’s coated with Teflon.

I draw back my hand in surprise. “What the heck? That was too easy!”

“What is too easy?” asks Johnathyn.

“This. Watch.”

I rub Leeanna’s shoes. The dirt flakes off in my hands, leaving the shoes sparkling clean.

“What is this stuff, Johnathyn?”

He sets the bags on dry ground then rubs his pants with his hands. He just smears the mud around.

“It is wet dirt.”

I brush my hand across the caked mud on my backpack. The same thing happens as with Leeanna’s shoes and dress. In fact, my pack looks cleaner than it did before being dropped in the mess.

“Clearly, Alexia, it is your magic.”

“Yeah but I’m not even trying, not really.” I shake my baggy clothes and the mud dissipates into a dense brown cloud that floats away in the breeze. “See. Nothing to it.”

“If it is that simple, perhaps you would assist me.”

I turn towards him and concentrate, seeing the fabric in my mind and how the dirt clings to it. I pull the dirt away from the fabric along with stains, sweat and bits of food. His pants, shirt and boots look like they were dry cleaned, though his hands are still dirty.

“Well done, Alexia! What about these?” He holds his filthy hands up.

“You probably don’t want me messing with your skin, at least not when you can do it yourself with a little soap and water.”

“Which we do not have right now, but I see your point.”

“What I want to know is why this is all so easy to do.”

“Both Miran and Mistress LaRouche talked about the possibility that you might be more powerful than before because you had been working in a world with little magic and doing remarkable things. You had become stronger, accomplishing much with very little. When you return to our world, there may be few limits to what you may be able to do.”

I reach out with my right hand, lifting the four bags about ten feet in the air. The dirt falls off them like a momentary brown snow storm. I return them gently to the ground.

“Sweet. Very sweet.” I look around and see a group of bushes about fifty decileagues away. “Grab the bags. We can go over to those bushes and I’ll change clothes.”

“Why not change here?”

“You wouldn’t have done it over there so I’m not giving you a free show as soon as we get back here. At least not yet.”

I scoop up my backpack by a shoulder strap, step over to the pile of bags and grip the handle of the duffle that should hold my clothes. Leeanna runs over to the largest bag, struggling to pick it up. Johnathyn hands her the smallest bag.

“You may carry this one. It holds our most valuable belongings. Be careful with it.”

She smiles broadly. “I will, Father.”

We all march across the field but I catch Leeanna and Johnathyn exchanging conspiratorial smiles as they trail behind me. Something is going on between those two. As we near the bushes, Lee hurries to catch up with me.

“Can I help you, Mother?” she asks brightly.

“No, I think I can dress myself.”

“As you wish!”

I stop. “Alright. What’s going on here? You two are just a little too pleased with each other.”

“I have no idea what you are suggesting, Alexia,” Johnathyn declares. Leeanna just smiles shyly.

“U-huh. Liars. You both wait right here while I change.”

I step behind the bushes which are just barely above my head. Setting my backpack on the ground, I sit on it. Kicking off my oversized shoes, I easily slide my pants past my hips, down my legs, and free of my feet. After unbuttoning my shirt, I let it fall from my shoulders as I stand up, wearing only a pair of boxers that hang loosely on my hips. Thankfully, it’s reasonably warm, though it is late in the day. I unhook the clasp holding the duffle bag closed and pull the flaps aside to see what they packed for me.

* * * *** * * * *** * * *

“JOHN-A-THYHN!”

“She does not sound pleased, Leeanna.”

“But she will look so beautiful, Father! We both saw all those women on that tel-e-vision show. None of them were as pretty as Mother but the underclothes they wore made them look so nice. Imagine how Mother would look dressed as they were.”

I certainly did imagine that. It made me feel very strange. As a woman, I did not have my manhood to stroke for relief and I was unsure what women do under those circumstances. In fact, I was surprised that women even experienced those feelings. I assumed that I was unique, as I was a man in a woman’s body. I confided in Pegues about this and he assured me that I was not unique, that he had also had these kinds of feelings and urges when he had become a woman. He also told me what he had done to relieve himself but I could not bring myself to do as he had done.

He said I was a fool for not taking the opportunity.

“JOHN-AAAA-THYNNNN!!”

No. Not pleased at all.

“Leeanna, perhaps you could go see your mother and tell her that …”

“No, Father. She is calling for you. Do not be worried. We wanted to surprise her.”

“You wanted to surprise her, Leeanna. I agreed with you. That may have been a mistake.”

“How can being beautiful be a mistake?”

How indeed. I’m afraid I am about to find out.

As I near the bushes, I pause to look around the edge. Alexia is standing there without anything on beyond a pair of men’s undergarments. There are a number of familiar packages scattered on the ground at her feet.

“Where did you get all of these … things?”

“We purchased them.”

“We?”

“Leeanna and I.”

“What possessed you to go to ‘Victoria’s Secret” with our daughter to buy what looks like every bra, panty, garter belt and stocking that they had in stock?”

“Well, you see, we were watching the device you call a tel-e-vision and there was this event that was described as a fashion show and Leeanna was very interested in learning about what women in that world wore. I had no desire to watch this event as there was this other event called a football game taking place at the same time. We argued about it for several decicycles and then I actually saw the fashion show event and found it more interesting than I thought it might be.”

“So you’re telling me that you and Leeanna sat and watched the ‘Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show,’ the show where practically naked women parade up and down a runway to loud music.”

“Yes! You have seen it! Very interesting event.”

“I can see why you would think that.”

“Leeanna said that none of the women were as beautiful as you and she thought you could wear what the other women were wearing and be even more beautiful.”

“What did you think?”

“Fashion in your world is certainly … exciting. I mentioned it to Miran and he suggested that we use some of the wealth we found at the Portal to purchase these fashions for you.”

“That rat bastard. Of course he said that. How did you know my size? Or did you just buy a little bit of everything?”

“That was simple, Mother!” Leeanna exclaimed as she came around the corner. “I asked women in the store what size they were until I found someone who appeared to be near your size.”

Alexia looks at me. “You didn’t try anything on, Johnathyn?”

“I? That would not have been appropriate.”

“Really? We’ll have to see about that the next time we’re in town.”

“What’s wrong, Mother? Don’t you like them? They’re sooo pretty! We have nothing like them in this world. The colors are so bright, they feel so soft!”

Alexia opens her mouth to answer Leeanna but pauses when she sees her happy, hopeful face. Alexia shakes her head slightly, forcing a bemused smile.

“They’re great Leeanna. Thank you very much.”

“I knew you would like them. Which are your favorites?”

“Uhhh, I haven’t had a chance to check them all out, Sweetheart. Which are your favorites?”

Leeanna giggles and runs to the bag, reaching deep into it, pushing things around before pulling out with two clear bags in her hands. The bags are attached to each other. Whatever is inside is deep red in color. She hands them to her mother, who reluctantly accepts them.

“Okay. Give me some privacy.”

Leeanna scurries back to me, grabbing my hand and pulling me back around the bushes.

“I told you Mother would like them, Father.”

“I am sorry to have doubted your judgment.”

Leeanna waits for Alexia to dress while I walk to the road with our bags. We arrived in a grazing field that is not currently being used. The livestock are in a different field while this one recovers from prior use. From the look of it, it has been fallow for at least two months. The grasses have grown quite lush in that time, at least seven milileagues. I may know where we are. If I am correct, we are only six leagues from New Amsterdam. I leave the bags by the side of the road and return to Leeanna. Just as I arrive, Alexia emerges from behind the bushes.

She has done more than change her clothes. She also fixed her hair into a long braid that she has wrapped around her head. She chose the light blue cotton traveling dress and gray leather corset she first wore at “The Silver Forge” where we met Pegues the last time before entering Glory. It’s a long, loose dress, the hem brushing against the top of her black boots. She was lovely that day but she is stunning today, her breasts lifted up and forward. She blushes under my intense attention.

“Your daughter chose a pushup bra and thong panty. You sure you didn’t have a hand in that?”

“No. Our daughter has a mind of her own, though I am certain you know that. I do approve of her choice.”

“You don’t think it’s a little too much?”

“Mother, you are the most beautiful woman in the world!” Leeanna gushes.

I stroll next to Alexia, pick up her pack with my right hand, slinging it over my shoulder, and wrap my left arm around her waist, pulling her tight to me as I lightly kiss her soft, crimson lips. She allows me to let our kiss linger before slowly separating with a smile.

“The most beautiful woman in the world?” she asks.

“Leeanna does not lie,” I say.

“I should hope not. No parent should tolerate a prevaricating child.”

“A what kind of child?”

“Never mind. Where are we, Johnathyn?”

“I believe that we have landed in a fallow field belonging to Thalyn Burns.”

“I remember that name. I landed on his farm the last time I traveled to this universe.”

“He owns much property in this area. A very wealthy man.”

“Wealthy? I saw a small house on the farm.”

“That would have been a tenant’s house. Burns lives in a fine home.”

“Good for him. Which way to New Amsterdam?”

I point to my left. “This way.”

She lifts the bag containing her clothes and begins to slip her arms through the straps when I take it from her.

“You carry your pack. I will carry this bag.”

“You sure?”

“I would prefer to not be responsible should something break in your pack.”

“Bright man.”

We all start to walk through the thick grass towards the road, with Leeanna between Alexia and myself. Leeanna takes my hand in hers and then does the same with Alexia, smiling brightly. We look at each other. I feel a strong sense of contentment, as if we are where we should be, as the family we are supposed to be. When we reach the road, Leeanna takes the smallest bag, Alexia her pack and the second smallest bag and I take the remaining two bags, slinging one over my shoulder and carrying the other in my hand.

“How far, Father?”

“I estimate six leagues.”

“Six leagues?!”

“Do not be such a … what is the phrase, Alexia?”

“Drama Queen.”

“Yes, drama Queen, Lee. You used to run farther with your friends while playing.”

“Why don’t we just fly? You could do that, can’t you, Mother?”

“Probably, but we need to keep a low profile until we can see what’s going on. Your father is right. A little exercise will be good for us.”

Leeanna just snorts and rolls her eyes. So much for contentment.

We strike off at a good pace but it isn’t long before Leeanna begins to lag behind. I have to gently encourage her several times and then not so gently. Alexia sidles next to me.

“Maybe that flying thing wasn’t such a bad idea. My feet are beginning to hurt in these new boots,” she whispers.

“Speaking of shoes, the women who appeared on the fashion show wore some that I had never seen before. The heels were quite narrow and tall. They also wore these very thin stockings that covered most of their legs. You could see right through them.”

“Your point, Johnathyn?”

“Just that they were very appealing. I was wondering if you might …”

“Johnathyn, there is no way I’m introducing high heels and hose to this world. The women would rise up and tear me to pieces. And they’d be right to do so. As for flying …”

“No. You were right to be cautious. We have been gone for many weeks and the world has not likely improved in our absence. I had no knowledge of what was happening in this region. It is best to find out the truth before revealing ourselves.”

“Wouldn’t everyone know what happened by now?”

“Perhaps, but you forget that this world has no tel-e-vision, no magiczines, no newsplathers.”

“That’s magazines and newspapers but I get your point. It’s all word of mouth which means it’s probably wrong.” She looks back at Leeanna, who is at least ten decileagues behind us. “Maybe we can take a brief break. We’ve been walking at least a cycle and a half.”

I look down the road and see a grove of trees about a quarter league away.

“Leeanna.”

“Yes, Father. I know. I must walk faster.”

“I was going to say that we will pause to rest when we reach those trees but if you wish to keep walking …”

“No! Pausing is a good idea!”

“Well, the sooner we get there…” Alexia says as she quickens her pace. Leeanna accepts the challenge, chasing after her, both of them leaving me in the dust. By the time I reach the trees, both of them have removed their boots and are wading in a small, shallow pool, holding their dresses up at knee height to keep them from getting wet.

“Join us, Father!” Leeanna cries. “The water is wonderful!”

I sit on a nearby rock. “No thank you. I was hoping to get a drink to quench my thirst but now that you are walking in it, I do not think that …”

Alexia reaches down next to the pool and picks up a large clear round bodied bottle, which she tosses to me.

“We had our drinks and we saved you this before we stepped in, just in case you were a little squeamish.”

I open the lid of the bottle and drink two thirds of the contents quickly. It is cool and clean tasting.

“What is ‘squeamish’?” I ask.

“That your stomach is easily upset by possibly unclean or exotic drinks or food. Of course, you drink Klatch so that answers that question.”

I was just about to explain the difference between Klatch and dirty feet when I hear the sound of an approaching wagon. I stand up and look down the road we had just traveled and see a hay wagon in the distance. It is a large one, pulled by four stout horses. Alexia and Leeanna continue to wade while it slowly approaches. When it is within fifty decileages, I step out from the trees and into the middle of the road, raising my hand.

“Hail, friend!” I shout.

The driver pulls sharply back on the reins, bringing the wagon to a quicker stop than I thought possible. He rapidly reaches beneath his bench and removes a long hunting rifle, which he points at me.

“Hail friend yourself! Advance and be recognized, long shanks!”

This is an uncommonly unfriendly greeting for this region. I raise my other hand while I slowly step closer to the wagon. I can see that Leeanna is restraining Alexia as best she can. As I get closer, the driver squints at me for several milicycles and then smiles, stretching the many wrinkles on his face as he drops his gun to his lap.

“Tyber! Johnathyn Tyber as I live and breathe! By Zaphod’s gigantic organ, where have you been? It has been a wolf’s age since I last saw you.”

“It is pleasing to see you also, Merlin. We have been abroad.”

“We? Is your pretty daughter with you?”

“Yes, as is my wife.”

“Wife?! When did you take a wife, Tyber? Is that why you went abroad? None of the local wenches would have you so you went fishing in a larger pond? Let me see what bottom feeding … by Zaphod’s beard!”

Merlin’s eyes were challenging his head to contain them as Alexia and Leeanna had stepped clear of the woods while we were speaking. He had caught sight of Alexia. Even now, when I look at her, my breath often catches in my throat as if I am seeing her for the first time. For those who are actually seeing her for the first time, the effect is life altering. I hold out my hand to them as they approach from behind me.

“Allow me to introduce the women in my life. You already know Leeanna.” Alexia takes my outstretched hand. “And this is my wife, Alexia. Alexia, this is an old, very old, friend, Merlin Bekins.”

Alexia bows slightly. “Not that old. A pleasure to meet you, Master Bekins.” She has been practicing, greeting Bekins just as a woman of this world would do. No one would guess the truth. However, Bekins is still too taken aback to respond. It takes several milicycles for him to gather his wits.

“Truly, Tyber, you are the most fortunate of men. You have been greatly blessed by Zaphod.”

I start to speak but Alexia steps next to me, running her hand lightly across my shoulder and caressing my cheek.

“I consider myself equally fortunate and blessed by Zaphod, Master Bekins, to have a husband like Johnathyn.”

Merlin chuckles and shakes his finger at me.

“You scoundrel you, Johnathyn Tyber. Where have you been hiding this goddess?”

“We have been to Glory and only recently returned.”

“Glory!” he exclaimed. “Were you there when the Queen was killed?”

“You know about that?” I ask.

“Who doesn’t? It was the beginning of all our troubles.”

“Pray, tell me of these troubles.”

“You have not seen for yourself? How could you have traveled all the way from Glory and not encountered one of those roving bands of hooligans pledged to this Queen or that Queen.”

“We kept mostly to the back roads and traveled quietly.”

“Then Zaphod has blessed you twice.” He glances again at Alexia. “More like thrice. Those ruffians are everywhere. The ‘Army of Queen Penelope’ they call themselves here. Bought and paid for by Thalyn Burns is what they are.”

Alexia and I share a look. I can tell she has much she wants to say yet she remains silent, though her jaw is tightly clenched. Her restraint is surprising.

“We have not encountered this ‘Army of Queen Penelope’ of which you speak. Are there many of them?”

“Hard to say, Johnathyn. I’ve heard that they number over 750 but I personally have not seen more than 150 at one time.”

“Where are they encamped?”

“Mostly in and around Plymouth but Burns has a squad or two in every town in the region.”

“What about New Amsterdam?”

“Quite a few. It is second to Plymouth in size, as you well know, so it has the second largest group of men.”

“All citizens of New Amsterdam?”

“Very few. Mostly outsiders.” He spat on the ground next to his front left wheel. “Northerners! Disrespectful bastards is what they are. Attacking good men, taking property that tain’t theirs. Manhandling woman folk.”

Alexia’s grip on my hand tightens to the point of mild pain as she pulls Leeanna close to her.

“What kind of manhandling, Merlin?” I ask.

“Every kind you can think of, Johnathyn. If you want my advice, you’ll turn around and take your women some place safe, though I’ll be jigged if I could name such a place.” He pauses and looks around. “How did you get out here? Don’t see any team and wagon, not even a couple of horses. You certainly didn’t walk all the way from Glory.”

“No. Ahhh …we hired a ride but decided to walk the last few leagues. It’s such a nice day.”

He looks at me, the disbelief clear on his face. “Not much baggage with you. Hardly enough for a few days. What kind of bags are those? I’ve never seen that kind of material”

I look at Alexia, who is slyly smiling. She is enjoying my struggles to explain how we came to be standing in the road without any obvious means of transportation and little baggage.

“My wife purchased them. What are they, Alexia?”

She laughs lightly. “They are the latest thing in Glory, Master Belkin. The bag repels water. Everything stays dry. They are a wonder.”

Merlin’s eyes widen in surprise. “Repels water? They don’t appear to be waxed or oiled.”

“They are not. It is called ‘Nylon’ with a ‘Gortex liner’.”

“Are they magic?”

“Not at all, Master Belkin.” She fixes him with a bright, distracting smile and he responds. No man can resist that smile. Merlin slowly shakes his head.

“When the troubles settle down, I must visit Glory to see these wonders for myself. My wife is insisting we go.”

“It is always wise to listen to your Wife,” I say.

“Aye, the nights are much more pleasant when you do.” He jumps down from the wagon. “If you’ll lend a hand in watering my team, I’ll give ye a ride as far as I can.”

I remove the bucket hanging from the side of the wagon. “We would be honored to accept your kind offer, Merlin. We are traveling to New Amsterdam for a brief visit. I wish to ensure my home is in good condition before we return to Glory.”

Merlin stops, reaching out with his right hand and touching my shoulder.

“I assumed ye knew, lad. I dislike being the bearer of bad news but your home was taken over by those Penelope Army bastards.”

“What?!”

“It was empty and one of the largest in town, what with the stables and all. It’s their new headquarters.”

“My neighbors promised to care for it while I was abroad!”

“They tried, lad, but what could they do? Trust me, if they could be rid of the scoundrels, they would. No one wants to live next to that rucas.”

“What about my clothes? My bed? Mother’s clothes?” Leeanna sobs, tears in her eyes.

“Sorry to say, most were tossed out the back door but your neighbors managed to save much of it.”

Alexia quickly squats down next to her and hugs her across her shoulders, patting her back.

“Don’t worry, Lee. Your father and I will take care of it.” Alexia looks to me for my agreement. There is a fire in her eyes that matches the anger in my chest.

“Your mother is correct. We will take care of it.”

CHAPTER FORTY EIGHT

Leeanna and I ride in the back of the lumbering wagon as Johnathyn and his friend sit on the Driver’s bench. We’re sitting on some scratchy shocks of hay. Leeanna huddled tightly against me, my arm around her shoulder.

“Why would they do that, Mother? Why would they take our home?”

“Because it’s easier than building their own house and it frightens everyone in the village. They think the same thing could happen to them. And they’re right, it could.”

“But why throw our property out into the back yard?”

“Same thing, intimidation. Don’t worry about it. Your father and I will set things right.”

“Why were you talking that way to Master Belkins?”

“You mean why I was respectful and acted like any other woman?”

“Yes.”

“I did it because he seems like a nice man and a friend of your Father’s. How I act reflects on how people think of your father. I didn’t give that much thought the last time I was here but it matters to him. As long as we’re trying to blend in and find out what’s going on around here, I might as well act like the good, dutiful wife. That may not last for long when we get to New Amsterdam.”

“What happens if they try to hurt us?”

“Do you think for a milicycle that I’ll let anyone hurt you or your father?”

“No,” she says uncertainly. “I guess not.”

“There’s no guessing about it. Here.” I reach behind me to my backpack, unzip an outer pocket and remove two of the little two-way radios. I hand one to Leeanna. “Keep this with you in your pocket. You know how it works. If we get separated and you get in trouble, buzz me and I’ll be there in a flash.”

That seems to calm her fears a bit. She touches the pocket a few times as we continue in silence. It’s probably best if I prepare her for what she may see.

“Leeanna, there’s a lot of problems in this world.”

“I know, Mother.”

“I’m glad that you know that. Unfortunately, some of those problems are my fault.”

“How could they be your fault?”

“Because I left after I … beat Opulessa. If I had stayed, there wouldn’t be all these fake Queens running around and all these men acting like macho idiots trying to take charge.”

“What are you going to do about it?”

“I’m going to put an end to it, show them who the real Queen is, bring everyone back together.”

“That is good. Everyone should be together.”

“Yeah, well, they should but it won’t be easy. The problem is that there are a couple of ways to do that. One way is to show people that it’s in their best interest and all the great things that we can accomplish if we all work together. That’ll take a lot of time and some people still won’t agree to join us. The other way is faster.”

“What is the other way, Mother?”

“Fear. You do something so horrible, so frightening, that everyone falls in line because they’re afraid of you. That’s what Opulessa did to stay Queen.”

“You wouldn’t do that, would you?”

I might as well tell her the truth because I’d never be able to hide it from her.

“To regain control and restore peace, I would. I wouldn’t like it but there’s really little choice. Every day I don’t do something is another day that somewhere a woman is being attacked or a girl like you is being manhandled. I can’t let that happen, not when I can do something to stop it and I’m the only one who can. I just wanted to warn you. You may see things that upset you.”

“Like when you cut those men’s heads off.”

That came to her mind too damn quick. “Yes. They were trying to hurt us so I stopped them. I’ll try to use non-lethal means when I can but that may not be possible every time. I’m sorry that you’ll have to see this, Leeanna.”

“You’re a good person, Mother. I know you are.”

“I’m a regular person, Lee. When I was a man in the other world, I did some good things and some bad things.” Maybe more bad than good. “I’ve not always been good over here either. I promise that I will do the best that I can but it may get pretty ugly some times. Just a heads up.”

“Have you told Father this?”

“He knows, Honey. He knows.”

* * * *** * * * *** * * *

Belkin drops us off on the outskirts of town. It was well past midday, the shadows are beginning to lengthen. As we walk into town, I recognize several of my neighbors out and about but they do not acknowledge me as we head towards my home. There are also a number of unfamiliar, armed men loitering about.

Alexia has agreed to wear her traveling cloak though it was too warm a day. With the hood up, she will attract less attention from the men, at least until one of them stops us. When that happens, I am afraid the conflict begins. I hope that I can find a partially safe place for Leeanna to hide before the troubles begin.

As we approach my shop, It is clear what Merlin said was true. There are several horses tethered out front, the yard littered with broken Klatch bottles. There are two men armed with modern rifles standing guard out front but they do not seem too attentive to their work, as both take occasional drinks from flasks hidden in their jerkins. We duck behind the second house up the street from ours and carefully make our way to the back door of the house belonging to Abraham Collens and his wife, Alycia. They are the neighbors who had promised to care for my property while we were away. Their back door is secluded, hidden from view of the houses on either side of mine.

I quietly knock at least four times before the curtain parts and I see Alycia’s face light up in recognition. The door opens just wide enough for us to enter and it closes tightly the instant we are all inside.

“Johnathyn Tyber!” Alycia exclaims. “Little Leeanna! We were afraid you were dead for sure!” Alycia is a short, plump, white haired woman, always full of energy and opinions she was never reluctant to express. She briefly hugs me and then Leeanna. “Welcome home!” She stops when she turns towards Alexia, who has still not dropped her hood. “And who is this?” she asks, suspicion tingeing her voice. I take Alexia’s hand in mine as she pushes the hood off her head.

“May I present my wife, Alexia. This is Alycia, the wife of my neighbor, Abraham Collens.”

Alexia dips slightly, bowing her head. “Zaphod’s blessings be upon you and your husband, Alycia Collens. I hope all is well with you both.”

Alycia smiles and nods her head slightly at Alexia’s greeting. It was the perfect greeting from a younger married woman to an older married woman with just the right amount of deference.

“Zaphod’s blessings upon you and your lovely family, Alexia Tyber,” Alycia replies. “Unfortunately, all is not well as you likely saw or you would not have come to the back door.”

“That we did,” I say. “Where is Abraham?”

“He left to have a horse shod in Plymouth. ‘Queen Penelope’s Army’ ran off the last blacksmith in town. The one in Plymouth is a friend of Thalyn Burns. He now gets all of the region’s business and treats everyone like shit because of it. Abe should be back any decicycle, unless he ran into one of those accursed ‘Security Patrols.’ Thieving brigands is what they is!”

Just then, I hear the bolt in the front door slide open and the door creak loudly as it swings clear of the jamb.

“I am home, my dove,” a familiar voice declares from the front room. “Sound and safe, for all Zaphod cares.”

“Hush, Abe. We have company,” Alycia answers.

“Company? Who would be foolish enough to visit us while those …” He turns the corner and sees us all in the kitchen. “Well, I’ll be blowed! Johnny Tyber!” He slaps my shoulder several times then drops to one knee, throwing his arms open. “There’s my little Lee-lee! Come here, pumpkin.”

Leeanna walks shyly to Abraham. He closes his arms around her and stands up, grunting as he does so.

“You’ve gotten bigger since we last saw you. I won’t be able to do this much longer. You’ll be a big girl before you know it.”

“I am a big girl. Mother says so.”

“Mother? What are you talking about?”

Leeanna points towards Alexia. When Abraham catches sight of her, he lets Leeanna slide from his arms, landing lightly on her feet. He bows slightly.

“My apologies. If I had known newcomers were present, I would have properly introduced myself.”

“You old fool,” Alycia jests. “This is Johnathyn’s young bride, Alexia.”

“Alexia, you say. Well, it is about time you remarried, Johnny. Our little girl needs a good woman’s influence.”

Alexia dips again. “I do what I can, Master Collens, though I may not be that good a woman.”

“Nonsense! You’re the finest woman I have seen around here for sometime.” Alycia coughs loudly. “Except for my lovely wife, of course.” He turns to face me. “What are you doing back here, Johnny?”

I look up at him. Abraham Collens is one of the few men taller than I though he is much thinner, long arms and legs. Stronger than one would think and more carefree than his wife. They were a great comfort when Leeantha died.

“We have come back to take possession of our home and expel these renegades from this area.”

“Don’t be foolish, Johnathyn. It can’t be done. Certainly not by yourself. Given time, we might be able raise a group of men to do it but the time tain’t right.”

“We cannot wait, Abraham. The troubles here are the same as across the countryside. We must put a stop to them as quickly as possible and here is as good a place to start as any.”

“Who is this ‘we’ you keep speaking of?”

“Alexia and I.”

Alycia is shocked. “How can you think about letting those fiends near a young girl like Alexia? You are her husband, for Zaphod’s sake! Those men have killed people! They have,” she glances at Leeanna, “ mistreated women.”

Alexia touches Alycia’s shoulder. “How have they mistreated women?”

“In the worst way possible.”

“Do you personally know any victims?”

“Yes, but why do you want to know?”

“Because anyone who has harmed a woman, anyone who has killed someone is going to pay. Now.”

Abraham shakes his head. “Child, those are noble thoughts but they are simply that. It would take over two hundred men to accomplish what you propose. Two hundred good, tough men.”

“Should we tell them, Alexia?” I ask.

“Anyone who knows is at risk. We could just go over there and clean house.”

“But they may do something foolish trying to help us and we do need someone to care for Leeanna.”

“No, Mother! I want to help too!”

“Leeanna, your father and I will be perfectly safe but we don’t want you to see what we’ll have to do. You and I have already talked about this.”

Abraham grabs me by the shoulders. “This is insanity! Give it up, Johnathyn! It will be your death and the death of your wife. We will not allow you to throw your lives away.”

“Tell them, Johnathyn,” says Alexia.

“Let us all sit down?” I ask. We all sit down around the table in the kitchen. “What do you know about the death of Opulessa?”

“Know?” asks Alycia. “There is talk but many different stories.”

“Do the stories agree on anything?”

“That Opulessa was killed by an even more powerful witch and she left our world to be ruled by a group of less powerful witches.”

“And the name of this powerful witch?”

“They do not say.”

“Really? They don’t know my name?” Alexia complains.

“Your name?” asks Abraham.

“We were there, in Glory, in the Palace, when Opulessa died,” I tell them. “Alexia, my wife, is the witch who defeated Opulessa.”

Abraham and Alycia look at her in disbelief. She smiles at them.

“It’s true. Watch.”

Suddenly, a small dragon appears in the middle of the table. It is just as described in the stories of old, coal black with glittering scales along its body and leathery wings. It has a long, spiked tail, small, sharp teeth in a short snout and bright red eyes. It stretches its wings as Abraham jumps up from his chair and Alycia gasps. A jet of flame shoots from its mouth, lighting the table cloth on fire.

And then it is gone.

Leeanna claps her hands in delight as Alexia pats the table cloth with her hand until the flames are extinguished.

“Mother! You did it!”

“Yes, I did, Leeanna. That, ladies and gentlemen, was an act of pure magic. Something created strictly from my mind that became real. Up to now, I’ve used magic to manipulate other things. That was the first time I created something out of nothing.”

“But it was so small,” Alycia declares.

“It could have been twenty decileagues tall and burned this village to the ground. It’s just a question of how much magic it takes to create it. The bigger it is, the more magic it takes. If I had created the big version, I’d have been tapped out for awhile. Has ‘Queen Penelope” done anything like that? Has any witch done anything like that?”

Abraham drops back into his chair with a thud.

“You really are her,” he mutters in astonishment.

“Queen Alexia, at your service, Master Collens.”

“How is this possible?” asks Alycia.

“It is possible, that is what matters,” I tell her. “We are here to begin to right the wrongs that have enveloped this land. It begins here and now. What we need are witnesses and someone to care for Leeanna.”

“But the Queen always has the Queen’s Guard at her beck and call,” says Abraham. “Where is your Guard?”

“Otherwise occupied right now but Johnathyn should be enough for this group. With a little help from me. Will you take care of Leeanna for us? It should only be for an hour or less.”

Alycia looks at us, then her husband. “What can we say? We are at the Queen’s command.”

“I didn’t order it, Alycia. I asked, mother to mother.”

Alycia smiles at her. “Then, mother to mother, I will help.”

“We will help,” adds Abraham.

“Tell us what you know of the men who live in my home, Abraham.”

“They are a bad lot, Johnathyn. The leader is called Agmon Boggins. He’s an evil goomer. Not that big but a vicious fighter. His lieutenant is Plotkin Olmert, another bad tempered pig-wit. They’s seem to be hired for their muscles and not their brains, except for Boggins. He’s smart too.”

I wish Leeanna was not in the room with us. “Has there been much … abuse of women.”

Abraham shakes his head. “Aye, there has. Right next door! They get full of Klatch and go hunting for women to …” he quickly looks at Leeanna before returning his eyes to me “… abuse. They take the young, pretty ones when they can but they tain’t particular. It nearly kills me to sit here and listen to it!”

Alycia reaches across the table and gently takes his hand. “Many a time I’ve had to stop him from charging across the yard to confront them hooligans. Can’t say I wouldn’t enjoy seeing Abraham deliver righteous judgment but there’s just too many of them for one man to battle. They’d have killed him.”

“And then Alycia’d be next.”

“I’d have taken one or two before they got me.”

Looking at the old couple, I can see that they were still able to put up a fight but this problem was too big for them.

“Anything else you can tell me?”

“There’s likely forty or so in town. Not that there’s any good lads among em’ but there’s just five or six real bastards in the group. Naturally, they’re the ones in charge.”

I look out his back window. The sun is dropping quickly. If we are to do this today, we need to begin soon. Alexia notices where I am looking and nods her head slightly in agreement. We both stand up.

“Thank you, Abraham. You have been most helpful. Once we have gone, you can gather together how ever many good people you can and warn them to be ready.”

“Ready for what, Johnathyn?”

“Ready to take back their town.”

* * * *** * * * *** * * *

We stepped out the front door of the Collens’ home, past the low wooden fence that marked the boundary of their property and into the street. Johnathyn had a particularly determined look on his face, his big jaw thrust as far forward as it could go.

“So, how do you want to handle this? I could just burn the place down with them in it.”

He turns his head my way, one eyebrow raised.

“Is that intended to be humorous, Alexia?”

“Partially. It would solve our problem.”

“And destroy my home. I do not wish to rebuild.”

“I really don’t see any way this doesn’t get messy. For people and property.”

“There is one way. Personal combat.”

“What is that?”

“I challenge their leader to a fight. Winner take all.”

“And what exactly does ‘all’ consist of?”

“Do you not have confidence in me?”

“It’s not a matter of confidence exactly. I just hate to risk everything on one roll of the dice when our best game is Blackjack.”

“I was following you for a moment but lost you at ‘Blackjack.’”

“I’m saying we’re not playing to our strengths. They’ve got a lot of guys, some of them pretty big and strong. Not that you aren’t bigger and stronger, but someone could get lucky. And you’re an honorable man, a man of your word.” Not a sneaky bitch like I am. “It just doesn’t seem like it’s worth the risk if the only thing were protecting is …”

Then it hits me. It is about Johnathyn’s honor, his pride, his role as a man in this world. He must protect his home and his family or he’s not a man, at least in his eyes. If I go in and clean house, he’s less of a man because of it. He has to do this for himself. I can have his back, make sure the playing field stays level, but he needs to do this because this little part of the world is his little part. In his home, he needs to be Lord and Master.

Just because shit like that should be anachronistic doesn’t make it less true now. Maybe in the future I can do something about that but I can’t for the moment.

“Okay, we’ll do it your way. What’s next?”

Johnathyn looks around the street and I follow his eyes. There are two new guards in front of the house and at least four others scattered along the street. None of them seem particularly alert.

“I believe that the direct approach is always the best,” he says as he marches straight toward the guards. I hurry to catch up with him but stay slightly behind him. The guards perk up as we near. The one on the left holds out his hand while the other one brings up his rifle.

“What do you want?” the guard demands.

“I want you out of my home.”

Both guards grin evilly. “Who are you, shit foot?”

Johnathyn stiffens slightly. “Shit foot” must be an insult of some kind. I’ll have to remember that.

“Johnathyn Tyber.” He points at his house behind them. “That is my home.”

“Was your house, Johnathyn Tyber,” the other guard sneers.

“I want to see Agmon Boggins.”

“He doesn’t want to see you. Move off!”

“I challenge him to personal combat!”

Both guards are clearly surprised. “How old are you? No one’s done personal combat in decades!” says the first guard.

“Do not be a fool!” says the second guard. “There’s thirty of us and one of you. Why would he ever agree?”

The first guard looks at me. “Hold on, Petrie. Maybe his pretty little wife plans to join the fight.”

“Well then, that’s a completely different story then,” the second guard says sarcastically. “She looks like she could handle five big men at one time all by herself. Is that your plan, Johnathyn Tyber? We all fatigue ourselves fucking your whore of a wife and then you kill us in our sleep?”

Johnathyn smiles tightly. “Agmon Boggins. Now. If not, he will be branded a poofter because no true man of honor would refuse a challenge to personal combat.”

“Man of honor?” says guard number two. “You don’t know Boggins, well do yah?”

“Stiiilllll,” considered guard number one. “Might be fun to watch. Boggins ain’t seriously hurt a man for a few weeks. And there’s always this.” The guard rubs his thumb and forefinger together in the universal sign for cash money. Guard number two smiles broadly. “Iffen you be a betting man. Ahhh right, let’s give Mr. Johnathyn Tyber here what he wants.” Guard two leers at me. “Looks like Boggins is gonna get what he wants too.”

The two guards share an inside joke about something and it doesn’t sound pleasant. Guard one swings the muzzle of his rifle towards the front door.

“You two. Inside. Let’s go see Boggins.”

Johnathyn winks at me and we head off, guard one in front and guard two trailing us. As soon as we enter the front room, Johnathyn says something foul under his breath. The place has been shambleized, like an early century frat house. Discarded food, empty Klatch bottles, broken furniture, clothes, both men’s and women’s, scattered around the room. The smell is startling, acrid enough to make my eyes begin to water.

“What do you think of the changes we’ve made, Tyber?” asks guard two.

Johnathyn says nothing, fixing him with a look of hatred and disgust.

“Not to your liking?” he taunts. “You’ll really love what we did to your bedroom. Maybe I’ll get a chance to give you a tour.” He flicks the muzzle to the left. “This way.”

We walk through the kitchen, which is in worse shape than the front room, the neat hot water system Johnathyn created clearly broken. The guards escort us out the back door into the yard. There’s more furniture sitting on the grass, some intact and some broken, more Klatch bottles and more clothes, mostly women’s. There’s a small, open fire in the middle of the yard with about ten men loosely gathered around it. They all look up when we walk out the door.

“Look what we have here, Boggins! Someone just dropped in to see you.”

Two men look at Johnathyn but all other eyes are locked on me. Hungry, lust filled eyes. A couple are so obvious that I half expect them to leap up and attack me right in front of the other men. Despite knowing that I could kill them before they get within ten decileagues of me, I still get a chill down my spine. Zaphod help me if I was just a normal woman. The shorter of the two men watching Johnathyn pops lightly up from the chair he’s sitting in.

“Welcome to my home, Johnathyn Tyber.”

“How do you know my name?” Johnathyn inquires.

“Did you think you could walk into my village and I not know it? I know everything that happens within ten leagues of this place. I know that your pretty little girl is just a few decileagues from us, within easy reach. However,” he casually saunters over to where we are standing, stepping past Johnathyn and stopping right in front of me, “I do not know who this vision of beauty is.”

“She is my wife,” Johnathyn growls.

“Indeed? No one from here had ever seen her before today.”

“We were married after I left for Glory.”

“Well, that explains it, does it not? And what is your wife’s name?”

“Why does it matter? She is just a woman.”

I know why he said that, I agree with what he’s doing but it still pisses me off. The man moves closer to me.

“Indulge me, Tyber. You want something from me. If you continue to be unfriendly, I might not grant your request.”

Johnathyn resists answering for a few milicycles but finally relents. “Alexia. Her name is Alexia.”

Most of the men shout and laugh with delight, surging towards me. I prepare to strike when the man thrusts his hand into the air.

“SILENCE!” he bellows. The others pause and then reluctantly back off a bit. He stares them down then turns towards Johnathyn.

“Tell me, Tyber. Does she live up to her name?” Johnathyn says nothing. The man reaches out to touch my breast. “I will enjoy finding out for myself.”

Johnathyn’s hand shoots out, firmly grasping his wrist, before it reaches its target. The other men lunge towards Johnathyn but the man raises his other hand, stopping them in their tracks. He pulls his captured hand back slowly as Johnathyn keeps a firm grip.

“Release me, Tyber,” he says with quiet malice.

“Agmon Boggins, I presume?” Johnathyn replies as he opens his hand.

“Who else? What do you want?”

“The fool demands…” the first guard begins before Boggins silences him with an angry look. Johnathyn picks up where the guard left off.

“I … request that you and I participate in Personal Combat.”

Boggins sneers. “It has been some time since someone asked me for that. Most men are not that foolhardy. Why should I agree? We have the advantage of numbers.”

“True. You have the advantage but sending ten men to attack me does not defeat me. I may not win but I am not defeated. Personal Combat, on the other hand, one on one, to lose in that contest is the ultimate defeat. I was not out manned or out gunned. It is the combatant’s failure. That is why it is called Personal Combat. Failure is so much worse.”

Boggins’ eyes light up. “How true! I like you Tyber! You march in here, your buxom, luscious bride in tow, practically begging us to rape her, and then you make me a ridiculous offer that I would be unwise to accept. The only thing I get that I don’t already have,” he eyes me as if he already has me on my back beneath him, “is the chance to completely break you in body and mind.” He looks around at his anxious men. “Sounds like FUN! To the stables, men!”

They all cheer as he strides back into the house. They sweep through the door and we get scooped up in the flow. Several hands grab at my ass and breasts as we surge through the house and into the stables, the men quickly forming a rough ring in the middle of the now empty, two story room.

As stables go, it’s not very large but it’s bigger than a boxing ring. Johnathyn and I are left standing alone for a few decicycles as the men jostle for position, call outside to bring in more guards or start placing bets with each other. As I watch Boggins move about the ring, laughing and joking with the other men, it suddenly strikes me who he reminds me of.

He reminds me of me.

Back in my fighting days, I never had to mess with people my size. My reputation took care of that. That meant I was always taking on bigger guys. There’s a lot of ways to beat a bigger guy, particularly if he doesn’t have any real fighting experience. Big guys tend to be brawlers, used to just using strength and size and not fighting skills like the jab, the upper cut, cutting an eye, hitting the kidneys, that sort of thing.

Boggins is smaller than practically everyone else in the stables, other than me. He moves with grace and coordination, very comfortable with himself. For him to stay in charge of this group of Neanderthals, he’s got to be good with his fists. I ease closer to Johnathyn.

“Are you sure this is a good idea, Johnathyn?”

“I am much larger than this Boggins. It should take no time for me to defeat him. You need to be ready to make certain he lives up to his part of the agreement.”

Awww crap! Overconfidence. “Listen to me! He’s not a pushover! He knows what he’s doing! This guy is a more lethal version of me!”

“He is a witch?”

“No! Of course not! I mean when I was a man, back in the other world. I got in a lot of fights protecting my brother and I won most of the time. If I didn’t win, it was a draw. I loved taking on big guys who underestimated me. Make sure you …”

Just then, the first guard comes up behind us, sliding the muzzle of his rifle between Johnathyn and me, pushing us apart.

“Johnathyn!” I shout but the guard keeps moving me further away. Johnathyn just smiles and winks at me. Damn it!

“Do not worry, my lovely,” whispers the guard as he caresses my thigh through my dress. “Boggins will be the first to take you after he kills your husband but I will be next. It is my turn.”

“You can’t really expect me to go along with that, do you?”

“I prefer it that way. I enjoy bedding a fighter. It is more passionate.”

What a creep! “What’s your name, stud?” I ask, coquettishly.

He moves in to try and nuzzle my neck. “Jamison Sorken,” he answers.

I reach down and gently take his hand, sliding it up my body until it is lightly resting on my breast. “I like you, Jamison. I like you so much that I’m going to do you a large favor.”

“What is that, my pretty?” he breathes into my left ear.

“When the time comes, and it will be very soon, you’ll be the last one that I kill.”

I spin away from him, putting some distance between us so that he can clearly see me and then I give his balls a shot with just magic, not moving a hand or foot. He doubles up, falling to the ground in extreme pain. Boggins flicks his hand our direction and a large man rushes over, grabbing Sorken by the collar of his coat and pulling him up.

“Get up, Sorken, you drunken sot!”

Sorken was just getting his breath back. “Olmert! … the slattern … struck me … uhhh … in the nether … regions.”

“She did no such thing, you lying cur! We all saw it! Try to stay on your feet and do your job or I’ll report you to Burns.” He drops Sorken who lands on one knee. As he struggles to his feet, he gives me a wary look. I smile at him.

“The last. I promise.”

Olmert has crossed back over to Boggins and they are speaking to each other in hushed tones. It would a good idea to know what they’re talking about so I close my eyes and concentrate on reaching out towards them, willing myself closer until I can hear them.

“He’s a big one, Agmon.”

“He’ll break that much faster. Big ones ain’t used to being knocked down so they don’t know how to get up. Their minds can’t handle it. Big and slow. Easy target.”

“What if he ain’t that slow?”

“It’ll just take a little longer, but, if he does get lucky, you know what to do, right?”

Olmert pats the long knife in the sheath tied to his right leg.

“I’ll slit his throat so deep, his head’ll be swingin’ in the wind. You remember, I get the little girl all to myself. No sharin’ round ’til I’m done with her.”

Boggins slaps him on the shoulder. “No one’s interested anymore after you’re done with ’em.’”

Both men laugh and Olmert moves away as Boggins finishes removing his shirt. He’s in very good shape. Not workout in shape but fighter in shape: sleek, fit, muscled but not for display but for effectiveness. There are a few scars that show he’s he been in trouble before and survived. I don’t like this at all.

Johnathyn and Boggins move to the center of the human ring and begin to circle each other, Boggins bobbing and weaving but Johnathyn doesn’t react. The guards hoot and yell out, anxious to see the real fighting start. Johnathyn lunges forward, throwing a haymaker that whistles past Boggins head. He had ducked in time but looks a little surprised that Johnathyn was as fast as he was. Boggins dances a little more, moving in and out of Johnathyn’s range, baiting him into throwing another roundhouse punch.

Johnathyn takes the bait and Boggins ducks under the punch, getting in way too close, jabbing Johnathyn in his left eye, snapping his head back. Hard. He stumbles backwards a bit but quickly regains his balance while the crowd goes wild. Boggins returns to the bob and weave, Johnathyn returns to stalking him, a little madder than before.

That’s not good. You need to keep a cool head in a fight.

Johnathyn unleashes another thundering right and then a left but completely misses, Boggins was waiting for them. He slides to the side and delivers a short, sharp punch to Johnathyn’s kidneys. Johnathyn bends to the side in pain, leaving his chin exposed.

Boggins doesn’t miss the opening.

Once Johnathyn manages to move away from the barrage of punches, his left eye is swelling shut and he’s clearly wobbly, having fallen back against the ring of men, who pushed him back into the middle. He looks towards me and I can read the fear and confusion in his face.

I know that no matter what happens in this fight, this bunch of yahoos are not going to hurt anyone else, certainly not Leeanna, but getting knocked out will destroy Johnathyn. I’m afraid that Boggins has got Johnathyn’s number. If I had known what Johnathyn had planned, I could have trained him up a bit, given him some pointers … or I could do it now!

I can’t close my eyes this time, I have to see what’s going on. Calming my nerves, I focus my mind on Johnathyn, boring in on him until he fills my vision.

“Johnathyn,” I whisper.

He jerks his head towards me, dropping his guard. Boggins goes for the kill.

“Elbows up!” I scream in my head and he instantly reacts, blocking the punch at the last minute. Boggins throws two more that only hit Johnathyn’s arms before he moves away, circling again.

“Okay, that was close. Don’t say anything, Johnathyn. I’m gonna give you a few pointers and a bit of coaching. Stop throwing the big punches. Your arms are longer than his so you just jab. Shoot your punches out straight from your shoulder, keep him away from you. Give me one right now.” He glances at me quickly and I nod my head. He fires one off into the open air with his right.

“Not bad. Give me a left.”

He does as I ask. Not great but I can work with it.

“Very nice. Here’s what we’re going to do. If Boggins moves left, you cut him off, forcing him back the other way. Which ever way he goes, you cut him off. This would be easier with a square ring …”

Why not?

“Johnathyn. You’re on your own for a bit. I’m changing the environment.”

This time I do close my eyes but broaden my focus. I push here, prod there, nudge and shove until the men have repositioned themselves into something resembling a square boxing ring. They are all still jostling each other, shouting encouragement to Boggins and appear to be unaware what I did. I return my attention to Johnathyn.

“Hi. I’m back. Miss me? Never mind. You’re going to trap him in a corner. Just keep moving, cutting him off and jab, jab, jab. Aim for his nose. If you’re not jabbing, keep your arms high and tight to protect your head and that eye.”

Johnathyn changes his style, trying to follow my suggestions. It’s a little clumsy which actually helps. Boggins can’t predict what he’s going to do and the jabs keep him off balance. Johnathyn begins to get the hang of it and actually pops Boggins in the nose a couple of times. Unfortunately, Boggins tags him in that swollen eye a couple more times and it’s getting worse. The fight is more of a draw right now. The crowd hasn’t figured that out yet but Boggins has.

Johnathyn keeps pressing forward but he’s starting to get tired. His arms are dropping and the jab lacks the power it first had. Boggins is not as active as he first was too. He thought it would be short and sweet but turns out he’s in an actual fight. We need to end this now.

“Johnathyn, my love, it is time to end this. I know that you’re all about honor but this is a street fight. There are no rules, just winners and losers. They’ve already decided Boggins gets to rape me first and have got a line of men waiting for their turn. They’ve even got a waiting list for Leeanna.”

The punches start flying fast and furious, shocking Boggins, forcing him to cover up. Johnathyn swings his left arm out in a big loop, catching Boggins in the side, throwing him into the corner created by his men. They start to move away but I freeze them all in place. The stables fall silent except for the grunts of the fighters.

Johnathyn is all over Boggins but that surge of fury is being tempered by his growing fatigue. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. Time to change up.

“The body, Johnathyn. Go for the body. The ribs, the kidneys. Don’t aim at his body, aim for the middle of his body. Punch holes right through the bastard! They want to rape Leeanna!”

Johnathyn screams in rage, attacking with a viciousness I didn’t think he possessed. Boggins is beginning to crumble, he’s just taking the blows but he hasn’t dropped yet. I’ve seen true fighters recover from worse if they get a chance and Johnathyn’s tank is almost empty. It’s now or never.

“Grab him, Johnathyn! Get him up and wrap your arms around him! Lift him so that his head is above yours and fall backwards. Drive his head into the dirt!”

Johnathyn stops throwing punches and grabs Boggins head by the hair, jerking him upright, Boggins wailing in pain, his hands flailing at Johnathyn’s, trying to break free. Johnathyn rears back and lets fly with one last punch that flattens Boggins face. He goes momentarily limp. Johnathyn seizes the opening, wraps his arms around Boggins, trapping his arms against the sides of his body, and then Johnathyn throws himself backwards, arching his back, pile driving Boggins into the ground so hard that Johnathyn would have been tossed from any NFL game for Unsportsmanlike Conduct and fined the max. They both lay crumpled on the dirt, Johnathyn utterly exhausted and Boggins unconscious. Or dead. I’m not sure which.

All the men remain frozen in place, immobile except for their eyes, which are totally panic stricken. I slowly walk around the ring, looking each and every one of them in those panicked eyes. I continue my tour until I reach Olmert. His hand is on the hilt of his knife and which is almost clear of its sheath. He had decided his boss had had enough and was ready to kill Johnathyn to end the fight. I reach down and remove the knife from his hand.

“Not very fair of you, Olmert. Attacking an unarmed man. Let’s see how you like it.”

I take a big swing, slicing his throat wide and deep, the blood spurting everywhere but his body doesn’t drop, remaining locked in place, just like all the others.

“I AM QUEEN ALEXIA!!” I roar to my captive audience. “I AM THE WITCH WHO DEFEATED QUEEN OPULESSA!” I let that sink in as I continue walking around the ring, casually brandishing the bloody knife as Olmert’s life is spilled on the dirt before them. “I AM THE MOST POWERFULLY WITCH THIS WORLD HAS EVER SEEN! I AM LIFE! I AM DEATH!” I thrust the knife into the air over my head, sparks leaping from the blade.

“I AM VENGANCE!”

I spin and clamp my hand over the seeping wound in Olmert’s pale, white neck. When I remove it, the wound is healed and color is beginning to return to his face.

“I am mercy.”

With a sweep of my left arm, the double doors to the stables blow open.

“And I am JUSTICE!”

A sweep of my right arm sends all the men rolling and tumbling out those doors and into the street, their weapons remaining in the stables. I hurry over to Johnathyn, the one person I left behind after the sweep. Reaching down, I get a firm grip on his arm.

“Are you okay? Can you get up? You did so well! Couldn’t have done it better myself.”

He lifts his head, giving me a wane smile, and then slowly stands up as I pull at him.

“I never would have survived without your help, Alexia.”

“No problem. If you’d told me what you had in mind before today, I could have gotten you ready. Done a little road work. Look, were not out of the woods yet. Can you move?”

He groans but takes a step, then another. I reach up to touch his badly swollen eye but he flinches.

“Let me take care of it, Johnathyn.”

“No. Not yet. People must know that there is a price to be paid for freedom.”

“You’re probably right. They’re damn sure gonna learn that there’s a price to be paid for pissing off the Queen.”

I help support him as we slowly walk out the front double doors. Queen Penelope’s Army are scattered about like forgotten toy soldiers, still frozen in place. One man is in a horse trough, his head barely above water. Another is upside down, leaning against a building. There are a number of townspeople milling about, hanging back, not certain about what is happening. I take a deep breath and sigh. Time to put on the show.

“Citizens!” I cry. “For those who have not heard, I am Queen Alexia Tyber, ruler of this world. This is my beloved husband, your friend and neighbor, Johnathyn Tyber. I guess this means that New Amsterdam is my hometown. Howdy all. I’m sure you recognize these men. I’m going to free them shortly but they will not harm you in any way. I want to know what wrongs they have done in this town, my town. I will listen to whatever evidence you wish to present and I will pass sentence. In particular, I call on the women to step forward. I know that many of you have been hurt, badly hurt. Now is your chance to get yours. There is no shame in being a victim, ladies. The only shame is letting the bastard get away with it!”

CHAPTER FORTY NINE

Abraham found me a chair in which to sit while Alexia took charge in the street. I never hurt this much after a fight before in my life. As Abraham pointed out, my fighting days were long past but that only explains part of the pain.

Clearly, I was not in fighting condition. I have been struck in the ribs and kidneys before but not with such regularity. My left eye is much too painful to touch and I can feel my hands beginning to swell from all the blows I struck. Before, I was fighting just to fight. Young bucks, feeling their oats, fighting among themselves to establish who is the best man and to impress women. Victory was important but, if I lost, there was always another day and another fight. I gave that all up when I meet Leeantha.

Today, I fought for something dear to my heart. I could not allow myself to lose. I know that Alexia would not permit Leeanna to come to harm and Zaphod knows she can protect herself but she should not need to do so. She may be the Queen of a world but she is also my wife and my duty as her husband is to protect her and our child. To provide a home and sustenance. She should not have needed to help me.

Alexia had the townspeople move the bodies of the Army men into a single line along the main street. By their numbers, almost all the men Abraham described were present, almost forty total. Alexia went down the line, asking if this man or that had caused harm of any kind.

At first, people were reluctant to say anything until one old woman stepped forward and accused two men of stealing pies from her home. There was general light laughter among the crowd but the old woman was adamant and Alexia thanked her, giving her a warm and heartfelt hug. Other older women came forward and charged other men with more serious crimes.

By now, it was getting dark and Alycia suggested we build a fire for light. Alexia was prepared to create light but I discouraged her. Let the people who have been subjugated do for themselves. I even offered to let them burn the furniture from my home as I would not have anything befouled by those men in my home ever again. This was greeted with applause all around and we soon had more than enough illumination for Alexia to continue.

More older women blamed particular men for assaults on their person and on their husbands. What makes old women so bold? I have observed that as a woman grows older, she cares less about what society thinks of her and more about what she wants. While there are exceptions to this, I certainly saw quite a bit of this kind of behavior among Alexia’s witch friends. Zaphod help us if the same is true of Alexia. She is only twenty two now. Imagine what she will be like when she is in her seventies? Her eighties? Older?

Now older men come forward, having been prodded by their wives and they tell similar tales of attacks and thefts but also of destruction, burning and breaking things simply because the Army’s men could do so without threat of harm. Alexia congratulated them and also hugged them, though for a shorter period of time and not so warmly. Alexia still encouraged all people to join in but to tell only the truth. She assured all that, as a witch, she would know a liar if she heard one.

Then younger men, family men with wives and children, began to speak. Again, their stories were similar to those that came before but now there was mention of rape. I could see that there was great shame on the part of the men for admitting their failure to protect their wives but there were clearly unusual circumstances. There was also great anger. Before long, Alexia is hugging a third group of people, thanking them for their contributions.

Alexia paused to find someone to take notes and a young boy, barely in the throes of maturity, volunteered. We discovered later he was very learned and performed quite well in helping out. Finally, after all that came before, first one woman, then another, a third, a fourth stood before the crowd and Alexia, telling absolutely horrifying stories about what happened to them … or their child!

After these stories, Alexia comforted the crying women with gentle touches and hugs, also quiet, compassionate words. She also promised that those who had done these unspeakable crimes would pay dearly.

She then unfroze the men, one at a time, and confronted them with the claims against them. She warned each man that they should tell the truth because, as a witch, she would recognize a lie. She started with the less serious claims. The first man was barely a man, more like an older lad caught up in something beyond his control. He apologized profusely to the woman who lost her pies and he offered to pay for them. He also said that they were delicious.

The woman forgave him, blaming Thalyn Barnes for stirring up all the trouble. The boy was sent on his way.

The next few men were older than the first youth but they too were hardly involved. Again, they were apologetic, forgiven and released.

As the crimes became more severe, the men were more hardened and, though they asked forgiveness, their victims were not willing to simply let them go but Alexia decided that they deserved a second chance. She declared that Thalyn Burns was ultimately responsible and that she would personally make certain that he paid for his crimes.

When it was time to deal with the horrific crimes, allegations of murder, rape and worse, only six men remained in custody; Agmon Boggins, Plotkin Olmert, three others and a man named Jamison Sorken. Alexia said that she had made a promise to him. Boggins had recovered from our fight and was not in a conciliatory mood. All except Sorken remained defiant, calling Alexia some very insulting names while threatening the entire town with total destruction once Burns discovered what had happened here today. On the other hand, Sorken fell to his knees, begging Alexia to forgive him. She simply replied that a promise was a promise and ordered all the remaining prisoners to be chained and left in our stable until she decided their fates. It took several men to herd the prisoners back into the stables and they were none too kind in doing so.

* * * *** * * * *** * * *

Johnathyn hadn’t said much while I held the trials for the men who had taken over New Amsterdam. I was surprised when he told his neighbors to burn any furniture they found on his property, that he wanted nothing to do with it. I could understand the feeling but it still surprised me.

After the last few men had been marched off, I went over to where he was sitting. There were a number of men hanging around him, wanting him to tell them how he had beaten Boggins. He wasn’t saying much. They notice my approach and quickly back away, bowing deferentially.

“Gentlemen,” I greet them, “it is late and has been a long day. I’m sure Johnathyn will feel more like talking to you after he gets some rest tonight and a few mugs of Klatch tomorrow.” They all smile and chortle at that line. “If you would excuse us, we need to find somewhere to sleep tonight.”

Alycia Collens was at my side immediately. “You’ll be stayin’ with Abraham and me. We’ll brook no objections. Leeanna has her own little room already from when we used to watch her when Johnathyn would have to go out to a farm somewhere.”

“Sounds perfect. If you’ll help me with Johnathyn …”

“I am perfectly capable of walking there myself,” he says, then groans quietly several times while getting to his feet and stiffly walking towards the Collens’ home as I follow just behind him.

“I should not have sat so long,” he moans.

“Your right, your muscles have stiffened up on you. I’ll take care of it once we get inside.”

“That is not needed. I am feeling better already. A little movement was all that was required.”

Once we get inside, Alycia leads us upstairs to what is clearly their bedroom.

“No! I wouldn’t think of taking your bedroom. A guest bed or even some blankets for the floor would be fine. I’m so tired, I could sleep on a bench.”

“With all due respect, my Queen, my ancestors would haunt me to my dying day if I permitted you and Johnathyn to sleep anywhere but the best bed after all you have done for us today.”

It’s clear she’s going to fight me on this and the longer we argue, the later it gets.

“I accept your gracious offer, If you’d show me where our bags are …”

“In the room already, my Queen.”

I wince at “my Queen”. Gotta get used to that. “Where’s Leeanna?”

“She was outside for a time but when the stories became more upsetting, I sent her in to bed. The main thing is that she wanted to see that you both were well.”

I should have thought of that! “Thank you, Alycia. I’ll help Johnathyn up and …”

“Go see Leeanna. I’ll be fine,” he says as he begins to climb the stairs with a bit of a limp.

“As you wish. If you could lead me to Leeanna.”

Alycia indicates with her hand the direction. “Right this way, my Queen.”

That wince again. It’s just two doors down the hall from the stairs. Alycia knocks first.

“What is it?” Lee asks.

“It is the Queen. She wishes to see you,” Alycia answers.

“Mother? Come in.”

I push the door open into a cozy room not much bigger than a walk-in closet. Leeanna is already sitting up in bed. I sit beside her and she hugs me around the neck while I hold her just above her waist.

“Those are very bad men, Mother. How could you let so many go?”

“Some of them were truly sorry, others less so. You should show mercy when you can but there was a strategic reason to release so many. A lot of them will return to Thalyn Burns seeking protection and maybe some vengeance. They’ll tell the other soldiers about what we did here tonight. The more soldiers who rejoin him, the more they’ll tell the others. I want them all to know what happened here today. That will prepare them for what is going to happen in a couple of days.”

“What is going to happen?

“You remember I told you that I may need to do some terrible things?”

“Yes?”

“Those very bad men chained in the stables are going to die in a very public way.”

She pulls back and looks me in the eyes. “I heard what they did. Good. They deserve it.”

* * * *** * * * *** * * *

Johnathyn was trying to take off his shirt without much success when I reach the bedroom.

“Stop that! Please let me help you. I can see that you’re hurt.”

He stops struggling to get his arm out of the sleeve, slumping forward.

“I should endure the pain. I failed.”

I sit on the bed next to him and carefully peel the shirt down and off his arms. He’s got some bad bruising on his sides and his left eye is already two thirds of the way towards becoming an epic shiner.

“You didn’t fail, you won. I was there, remember? Saw the whole thing. You got up and he didn’t. You won, fair and square.” I reach for the buckle on the Johnathyn’s belt as he slowly lies back on the bed.

“I had you to help me. I would never have won without your assistance.”

I loosen his belt and partially unbutton the fly of his pants.

“We’ve already talked about this. You just lacked some knowledge and experience that I had. I gave some of it to you by just talking with you, that’s all. Just a few pointers. Plus , you were having trouble seeing out of that eye.”

I slide up next to him, reaching towards the blackening eye. He gently grabs my wrist.

“Please don’t, Alexia, I should …”

“Don’t be an idiot, Johnathyn. Take off the hair shirt! Even if you had won without me doing anything, they weren’t going to let you live. The fight was rigged in their favor. I just made sure you had a chance to win and I offered my advice. You didn’t have to take it.”

“Truly?”

“Yes, truly. You did it because you saw I was right and you used that information to win. End of story.” I take my left hand and loosen the grip he has on my right wrist. “Now, let me do my job and see if there is any long term damage.”

He relents, allowing me to carefully examine the damaged eye. The bruising is obvious but just cosmetic damage. It takes just a few milicycless to remove the excess blood and fluids, causing the swelling to disappear and the skin return to its normal color. I make closer examination of his eye but everything appears to be normal. No internal bleeding, no detached retina. I run my hands down his chest and across to the upper sides of his body.

“What are you doing?”

“Checking for broken ribs or kidney damage. Stay still.”

I deal with the pooling blood on the bruise sites and he’s soon looking like he was never in a fight for his life. I finish unbuttoning his fly and pull his pants free by tugging from the hems of both legs, leaving him just in his brief pantaloons.

“Roll over onto your stomach.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m going to give you a quick massage. It’ll get all that acid out of your muscles and you’ll feel much better in the morning. Hurry up, we don’t have all night and I’m tired. You’re lucky I’m offering.”

He groans as he turns over. “What is a massage?”

“Arms above your head. Good. I work the kinks out of your muscles with my hands. I’ve been told I’m pretty good at this. It won’t hurt much at all.”

I straddle his waist facing his feet and begin to work on his thighs and upper legs, moving to his butt. When I turn around and start massaging his lower back, I finally get a reaction, a low grunt of pain. By the time I reach his ribs, there have been a number of sharp inhales and exhales of breath. Sliding up his body a bit so that I can reach his shoulders, I begin to knead the muscles at the base of his neck and for the first time I get a sigh of contentment. It’s short but he moves his neck in sync with my hands.

“Not bad, huh?”

“Very enjoyable. Why did we not do this before?”

“There’s a lot of stuff we never did before. After I’m done with your shoulders, you’ll need to roll over onto your back.”

There were no complaints this time when Johnathyn rolled onto his back. In fact, he was actually smiling for the first time since we hit town. I settle myself just above his waist and lock onto his left shoulder with both hands. I can feel him relax under my touch. Moving from left to right, I’m just about ready to shift down when I feel his right hand on my leg. It doesn’t go anywhere until I move down his body and his hand slides up to my thigh. I know what he wants.

“Johnathyn.”

“Yes, Alexia.”

“You know it’s late, right?”

“But I am feeling much better than before.”

“I can tell. I know that you want to pick up where we left off before I went back to the other world.”

“It was an enjoyable time for both of us.”

“The sex was, the rest of it sucked. Thing is, I was a man like fifteen cycles ago. My head hasn’t caught up with my body yet. You remember what it was like for you when you first crossed over.”

His hand stops moving up my thigh.

“But that was different, you have done this before. It was my first time.”

“Yeah, but the feeling’s the same. I’m sure my head will catch up soon enough because I want it to but it’s not there yet. Until it does …”

He drops his hand off my leg.

“I understand and yes, I do remember what it was like when I first crossed over. Very confusing, very frustrating.”

“If it’s any consolation, I’m feeling much better at this point this time around than I did last time. It may not be very long at all and I’ll be ready, hell anxious, to … you know. But not tonight. For a lot of reasons.”

* * * *** * * * *** * * *

When I woke in the morning, I could hear hammers and saws. I don’t know what time it is, though the sun is up and I can smell what I think is bacon and eggs. Johnathyn is splayed out next to me, face down and snoring quietly. It’s not a big bed, more queen size with a feather mattress. A bit too soft for my tastes but as beat as we were, it was a little bit of heaven.

Last night, I was going through the bag of clothes to find something to wear to bed. Leeanna and Johnathyn had bought some pretty racy stuff from Victoria’s Secret. Not as racy as Frederick’s of Hollywood but definitely not the kind of thing you’d wear on a cold December night. I thought about wearing a long, black lace peignoir but decided it would be too cruel, particularly right after that little speech about my head not having yet caught up with my body.

This morning, I’m glad I just wore on old, oversized T-shirt and some boxers. I sit upright and swing my legs over the side of the bed, reaching up to brush my long hair from my face and rubbing my eyes. The noise of construction continues. It sounds close. I notice another sound mixed in with the hammers. It sounds like there’s someone knocking lightly on the bedroom door.

“Come in?” I hesitantly ask.

The door slowly opens as Alycia backs into the room, turning to her right as she does. She’s carrying a large platter.

“Good morning, my Queen,” she says as she turns. “I have prepared breakfast for you and …” she catches sight of how I’m dressed “…Oh my goodness!” she spins her back to me. “My apologies, my Queen! I did not know that you weren’t yet dressed.”

“Uhh, don’t worry about it, Alycia. We didn’t bring a lot of clothes with us. You can turn around.”

“Bless you for your forgiveness, my Queen. Please accept our humble faire.”

She sets the platter down on a small table next to the bed. My nose was right; bacon, eggs, some kind of porridge with bread and honey.

“I wish I could cook this well. Look, Alycia, is there any chance I can talk you out of calling me ‘my Queen’ all the time. You and Abraham have been friends of Johnathyn like forever.”

“It would not be proper, my Queen.”

“Well, if you ever get comfortable with it, you have my permission to call me Alexia. Thanks for breakfast, it really wasn’t necessary.”

“It is but a small gratitude for all you and Johnathyn have done for Abraham and me, for all of us.”

“We haven’t done that much so far. This is just a start. There’s a long way to go. It’ll get ugly before we’re finished.” There’s a sudden surge in the hammering. “What’s all the noise about?”

“Did it awaken you?” Alycia asks, concern in her voice.

“No. Just curious.” I point towards my still slumbering husband. “It hasn’t bothered him a bit. So, what’s up?”

“The men of the town are repairing your home. Fixing all the damage done by those ruffians, though I’m afraid none of them have the skills to repair the water system.”

“That was Johnathyn’s creation. I’m sure he’ll appreciate all the help. I could use your help after we’ve eaten.”

“It would be my pleasure to assist you, my Queen.”

I’m never gonna stop them from calling me that. “I just want to go around town, meet everyone, see if anyone needs anything.”

“YOU want to visit US?”

“I don’t see why not. I’m not going after Thalyn Burns for two days. I want the stories and panic to spread among his men. And his witch. If I’ve got some time to kill, might as well be useful. I need to get back into healing as soon as possible. Anybody around here sick or injured?”

“Many, my Queen. Penelope’s Army caused much pain.”

I reach back and shake Johnathyn’s leg. He mumbles something but doesn’t wake up. I shake him again but harder this time. His head lifts off the pillow but his eyes remain closed. “What is it, Alexia?”

“Rise and shine, Pumpkin. We’re burning daylight. Alycia fixed us breakfast and if you don’t get up, I’ll eat it all and you’ll go hungry.”

“If your husband wishes to remain in bed …”

“No, Alycia. He needs to get up and moving. If the town is fixing his … our home, he needs to be there.”

Johnathyn pushes his chest up off the bed.

“The town is doing what?”

“Fixing our home, Honey. Can’t you hear the sounds of industrious activity?”

“Sounds of what?”

“Hammers and saws. Apparently, your hot water system has them stymied.”

He rolls over, sitting bolt upright. “By Zaphod’s Beard! Why are they doing that? I would have gotten around to it.”

“Saves me from putting it in your Job Jar. Just a little thank you from New Amsterdam.

“It is unnecessary.” He starts to get out of bed but he finally notices Alycia is in the room. He stops immediately, covering himself with a bed sheet. “Alycia! What are you doing here?”

I indicate the platter of food with my hand. “She brought us breakfast. It looks scrumptious.”

Johnathyn leans over to get a better look. “I see. Why did she do that?”

“Same reason they’re fixing the house.”

“It is all unnecessary.”

“You said that. I agree but no one’s listening to the Queen today. I suggest we accept their generous thanks and pitch in to help.

Johnathyn leans closer to the food, savoring the smell.

“After breakfast, correct?”

“Oh yeah.”

* * * *** * * * *** * * *

We had finished the breakfast and Johnathyn was just climbing out of the bed when the door flew open and Leeanna came bounding into the room, leaping onto the bed with a peal of laughter.

“What are you doing?!” her father demanded as he covered himself again.

“I thought of it just a moment ago. I saw Mrs. Collens’ hand and it reminded me.”

“Reminded you of what, Honey?” I ask gently.

“The rings! You’ve forgotten about your rings!”

“What do you mean? Mine’s still on the chain you gave me, right here around my – ahhhh, I see what you’re saying.” I look over at Johnathyn. He appears confused as I once was but I see his ring dangling from a chain similar to mine around his neck. I point to it.

“Yes?” he inquires.

I point with my left index finger to my upraised right index finger and the penny drops.

“How could we have forgotten?” he says. “Thank you, Leeanna.” He reaches for my ring but Leeann clamps her hand around it.

“Can I do it, Father? Mother? You both did it the first time. Could I?”

Johnathyn pauses and then shrugs his shoulders slightly, leaving the decision up to me.

“I don’t know why not. Is there some kind of tradition that covers the situation, Johnathyn?”

“You mean when husband and wife visit another world, change sex and then return back when they come home. I hardly think so.”

“Well then, as Queen, I declare that if that ever happens, the daughter can return the rings to their rightful place.” I extend my right index finger. “Go on Leeanna, it’s official.”

She laughs, which trails off into giggles. “Thank you, Mother.” She carefully lifts the chain over my head, removes my ring and gently eases it onto my finger, snug against the base. It is at once both comfortable and familiar. I can’t help but smile as I look at it and then at Johnathyn’s ring when Leeanna slips it on his finger. She sits back on her haunches with a satisfied air about her.

“There! Now we are a family again. Did you know that everyone is helping fix my room?”

“Yes,” states Johnathyn, “and I must get up and help them. I am certain they all think I’m a slugabed already.”

“We’ve got work to do also, young lady. Have you eaten?”

“Yes, Mother. Mrs. Collens had me eat with them. I told her you like breakfast in bed.”

“That was your doing? Don’t do me any favors, kid.”

“She wanted to do something for you and Father. That was all I could think of.”

Guess it could have been worse. “Fine, but check with me next time, okay? You go downstairs, we’ll get dressed and I’ll be right down.”

She rolls off the bed and starts digging into my clothes bag, quickly producing two clear plastic bags full of bright pink lace.

“Wear these today. Father thought they were particularly pretty.”

I hold out my hand towards her.

“What are you, my fashion consultant?”

“You need one. You never wear really pretty clothes, just regular things.”

“That’s because I don’t want to be one of those people who just sit around and look good. There’s work to be done so I might as well be comfortable while I do it.” I look at the labels on the bags. Another push up bra and thong panty. I look over at Johnathyn. “Really?”

He shrugs again. “I thought you would look quite attractive wearing those clothes. Leeanna agreed.”

Leeanna just smiles slyly and nods her head conspiratorially.

I shake my ring finger at my husband. “If we ever go back to the other world, you are so going to pay for this.”

* * * *** * * * *** * * *

After getting dressed in my basic light blue, ankle length, low waist, lace front, long sleeve dress, I hurried downstairs. That was after I gave Johnathyn a good long look at me wearing the shocking pink lingerie he bought. Since he’s not getting any for at least a few more days, he deserves the case of blue balls this stuff generates. I posed in front of the mirror to give him the full effect and I had to admit, either he or Leeanna knows what’s hot. I could burn holes through walls in this outfit. Thank Zaphod you can’t tell what I’m wearing once I get the dress on, though the girls are way out there due to the bra.

When you’re hot, you’re hot.

There are only sixty three homes in New Amsterdam proper, another twenty seven or so on farms scattered within five leagues of town. Lee and I visit each and every one of the homes in town. Most of them have someone home, almost always a woman, though there are a few with men, usually widowers. Lee knows everyone and everyone knows her. Apparently, she was a bit of a scamp before, getting into scrapes with other kids, rough housing, the usual tomboy stuff. That could explain why she handled being a boy so well.

Uniformly, the person who opens the door is shocked to see us. To see me to be exact. It’s a small town and everybody knows who and what I am. Some are even apologetic about not having come by to honor me. I think it’s a knee jerk reaction, like when a cop pulls you over. Even if you knew you hadn’t done anything, only an idiot gets up in the cops face. These people lived under Opulessa’s rule their entire lives. It’s never good news when the Queen knocks on your door. It takes me a few decicycles to calm them down. The fact that Leeanna is with me helps a lot. It also takes a few decicycles to get them to believe when I ask if there’s anything I can do for them. I’m not talking jewels and riches, here’s your three wishes, kind of help. Just what do they and the town need. I do run into a sick or injured person in the home about half the time, usually a young daughter or son but also the man or woman of the house. Luckily, I brought my laptop with us so I can fix them up in nothing flat. Often, if they’re injured, it’s thanks to Queen Penelope’s Army.

Some of the men I had let go are almost as bad as the few that I kept.

Every man, woman or child that I heal or cure is enormously grateful, as are their entire family. Sometimes it’s hard to get away to move on to the next house. They often want to make sure that I see this person or that person because they too are sick or injured. If they live out of town, someone is immediately sent out by wagon to pick them up and get them to town.

It doesn’t take long to figure out that most of the residents are your basic, decent, down to earth types. They would make wonderful neighbors. The ones I haven’t met are most of the healthy men, who are working at our home to fix it up.

It’s growing dark by the time Leeanna and I struggle back to the Collens’ home, laden with all kinds of food given to us in gratitude for what we did today. We had to borrow a small wagon to pull our bounty home with us. The wagon came with two teenage boys who were ‘volunteered’ by their mother to help, though I don’t think they objected to spending a few hours with us, not the way they were staring at me. I’d bet that I know what they’ll be thinking about when they finish relieving themselves tonight.

After dropping Leeanna off with Alycia, I hurry over to Johnathyn’s home to find him alone, finishing off the repairs to the hot water system.

“Where’d all your help go?”

“I sent them all back to their homes and families. Many of the men refused at first to leave, insisting that they must finish. I had to agree to allow them to return tomorrow before they would go.”

“I know what you mean. I brought enough food back with me to feed several dozen people and I’d bet you twice as much gets delivered here tomorrow. Some people simply won’t take ‘No thanks, it’s on the house’ for an answer.”

“Did you heal many today?”

“Yeah, quite a few. I was getting kinda tapped out there at the end. It was mostly simple, straight forward stuff. Broken bones, broken teeth, bad cuts, though one guy had been shot and left for dead. His family found him, brought him home and then I showed up. The bullet was actually lodged against his spine. That was a bit tricky but he should be back on his feet after the swelling goes down. I didn’t want to risk doing too much. Just removing the bullet and cleaning up the wound track should do the trick. We won’t leave town until I’m reasonably certain he’s okay.”

“Then you have had a productive day. Like the ones we had on the way to Glory.”

“I know, but now everyone knows I’m the Queen. All hail Queen Alexia! You can’t get past that. Everyone is worried about protocol. I just want to say ‘Dudes! Chill out! Keep it real! I’m just a regular Joe. Let’s just be buds, okay?”

“Did you say that to anyone?”

“No.”

“Good, as they would not have understood a single thing you said, as I did not.”

“Yes, but you know what I meant.”

“I understood and understand. Most of the men who were here I knew before today. Many were acquaintances, some were friends but all treated me differently than before because I am married to you, the Queen.”

“You sure it wasn’t just jealousy because I’m such a hotty?”

He grins and shakes his head. “That would explain no small amount of their behavior, but, to be serious, there was a certain amount of fear there.”

“I ran into the same thing. Thank Zaphod, Leeanna was with me. She was like the Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval and I know you have no idea what that means. She was someone familiar to them, someone safe and innocent. If she was comfortable around me, then they gave me the benefit of the doubt. I’ve got two hundred years of Opulessa to overcome and once we leave town, Leeanna won’t be much help in that department. On top of that, we both know what I have to do to get control of this problem of multiple witch queens. It’s gonna be Opulessa times two or three.”

“Once you have put down the imposters, you can reveal your true, kind, nature. The people will come around, eventually.”

“Eventually can be a very long time, Johnathyn.”

“Do you regret your course of action already? You have not yet begun.”

“I know that! And no, I don’t regret what I’m going to do. I regret the need to do it at all. I regret the wasted opportunity I had to get this right from the start. I regret the lives that will be lost at my hand and the hands of others. But I also know that there’s really no other good option. Terror trumps persuasion. Painful but true. I may go to Hell for what I’m going to do but that’s my problem.”

“Where is Hell?”

“You don’t know what Hell is? Maybe you call it something else. Hell is a place of eternal damnation and punishment where your soul goes after your death if you have lived a very bad life while alive. If you have lived a good life or receive forgiveness of your sins, your soul goes to Heaven, a place of peace and enjoyment when you die. That’s the Readers Digest version, I’ve left a lot of details out. Any of that familiar?”

“I am afraid not, Alexia.”

I chuckle before responding.

“Johnathyn, that raises one heck of religious philosophical argument. Once this is all done, I’m going to have a talk with this world’s experts and get their opinions. If changing worlds creates a ‘get out of jail free’ card, religiously speaking, we are talking big tourist dollars. On a related subject, anyone watching our prisoners?”

“We had several men doing so while we were working here, primarily to prevent someone from taking premature vengeance. I had to assure many that they would all receive the justice they deserve. I also had to offer them the opportunity to come and watch. If that is not possible …”

“No. The more the merrier, unfortunately. It helps the long term cause but puts more people in danger, short term. Johnathyn, I don’t know if this is the perfect way to do this but I must do something. This is the best I can think of, Zaphod help me. Anyone with the prisoners now?”

“No, they are alone.”

“Good, I want to talk with them.”

“Do you wish me to be present, just in case something goes wrong?”

“No, I need to do this myself. It shouldn’t take long.”

I walk quickly to the stable door. It’s locked but the key is hanging on a hook by the door. I unlock it, replace the key and step through, closing it behind me. The six men are all sitting on the ground, hands behind their respective backs. Chained at the ankles, waists, arms and each other. All eyes are on me as I approach them but they remain silent.

“Gentlemen. I’ve been talking to the town folk around here and it seems that you’ve all been worse guests than I first heard. You’ve all done some very terrible things.”

“Please Mistress – my Queen, yes, my Queen, I’ve done nothing, If you could but forgive me my …”

“Sorken, be quiet. You’re a special case. I made a promise to you and I intend to keep it. You’ll be the last to die. Don’t make a liar out of your Queen. As for the rest of you …”

“Be gone whore! We care not what you think or threaten! We are men and will not bow down to any woman!” shouts Boggins.

“What about Queen Penelope? Don’t you bow before her?”

He and the other men laugh hard and roughly.

“She is Thalyn Burns’ cow. It is but a game for us. We need a queen for appearances sake. A bow here, a ‘my Queen’ there, they are mere courtesies and mean nothing. You demand our loyalty and obedience and deserve neither. What have you done for us? What makes you our superior? Yes, you are a powerful witch, we have all felt that but we can defeat you. You cannot beat us all. There are over 1,500 of us. We can overwhelm you. Many would die but so would you. You are not a God. You are not infallible!”

“You got that right, but it doesn’t excuse your behavior. You boys were out there murdering, raping, child molesting, and thieving before I ever showed up. What’s your excuse for that?”

“If you want power, you take it!’” Boggins declares. “That is how you control a village, a town, a region, a world. Fear is respect. Fear is power. A few may be hurt or killed in the beginning but it is for the better good of all. Once you are in power, only the occasional rebel need be killed to keep the others in line. It is the way of power, it is how the game is played.”

“True, but from what I’ve heard, you all enjoyed playing the game a little too much.”

“So what if we enjoyed our work? It just means we are good at it. If we had not done it, others would have. It would have meant nothing to this town. Perhaps a different man or woman would have died but someone would have died in any event.”

“Or a different woman raped.”

“Exactly.”

“Or a different child raped.”

He didn’t reply to that one.

“So, to summarize. You believe that no one is preordained to rule over a world, particularly some woman due to accident of birth. Power must be earned and then it must be used to maintain itself. In that process, some people may be injured or killed but that is the way of the world. It’s just business as usual. Nothing personal. It is all for the greater good. It is also for the greater good that you fight against the attempts of one witch to rule over all others, unless, of course, that witch happens to be your witch, in which case, all of your bad acts are justified. The fact that you enjoyed committing those bad acts doesn’t matter because circumstances would have forced you to do those things anyway, whether you liked them or not. Because of all that, I should let you all go because it isn’t your fault. You’re just a part of the system. Does that about cover it?”

Boggins and the others look surprised, like they didn’t expect me to understand. There’s just the tiniest hint of respect on his face when he answers. “Aye, that is it to the bone.”

“It may surprise you that I agree with you almost completely. Sometimes terrible things happen for good reasons. Do you blame the people who do them when their ultimate intentions are either self defense or to do good for the greater number? That hardly seems fair. The people who play this game ought to get a pass for things like that.”

Boggins lifts his legs, rattling the chains that bind them. “Then you’ll be letting us go free?”

I walk towards the door that leads back into the house. “Sadly, no. I’m sure you’ll appreciate the irony, you see, it will be your lives that will be taken for the good of your fellow soldiers. You will die so that they may live. The fact that most of the townspeople here will greatly enjoy watching you die is of no consequence. For you and I, it’s just business.” I open the door and step through but turn back to face the six men. “Nothing personal. I’m sure you understand.”

CHAPTER FIFTY

Johnathyn insisted on driving the wagon we borrowed from Merlin Belkin. It was the same hay wagon he was driving when we first met him but it was empty this time. I need a stage on which to perform and this wagon is a good substitute. Flat, wooden and about ten by fifteen decileagues. Johnathyn drove six spikes into the bed and our prisoners were each chained to one. As usual, it was Sorken who wouldn’t shut up. He begged and begged for forgiveness while the others just did as they were told. An armed group of thirty five men or so had something to do with their lack of resistance.

I told everyone that they were welcomed to come to Thalyn Burns’ home to watch but that I did not want them to get involved in a firefight. It was an ad hoc group of New Amsterdam’s young and middle-aged men, armed with just hunting rifles. I’m sure that some of them were probably better shots than Burns’ hired guns but they were also outnumbered.

They mounted up outside Johnathyn’s home, three quarters had their own horses and the rest rode along on the wagon, Johnathyn and I were on the driver’s bench. It was a quiet ride to Thalyn Burns’ home, he lived just about twenty leagues away and we made good time. When we are half a league from our target, the two boys, who had helped Leeanna and I yesterday, pop up from a thicket of trees near the road and flag us down.

“What have you to report, gentlemen?” I ask.

They both scramble up to the bench to join us.

“Burns has lost more than half his men. There’s not 300 of them left,” says Peter, the tall blonde one. The other boy, Frankle, shorter and dark haired, pulls a folded up piece of paper from his pocket and opens it, setting it on my lap. He points to a thick, black line on the paper.

“This is the road you now travel on. There is a bend up here.” He first points to the map and then down the road to the right. “About half the men are hidden in the woods near that bend and the other half are here.” He points to a circle past the bend on his rough map. “That is Burns’ home. I think they mean to ambush you here.” He points to a spot between the bend and the home. “But, if you go that way,” he points across the field in front of us to our left, “you will come out on top of a hill near the house. You can look down and see everything and they can see you. That’s what you wanted, isn’t it, Queen Alexia?”

One of the men riding in the back stands and slides closer to us.

“The boy is correct, my Queen. It is called ‘Gobbler’s Knob’ and commands a view of the entire area but there is no cover, only woods to the left and right.”

I lean down and kiss first Peter’s forehead and then Frankle’s. They both beam with pride. “You have done well, my brave soldiers. Your service is appreciated. We will follow your advice. Run home now. I don’t want you hurt.”

They were both instantly downcast. “We want to see the fight!” cries Frankle.

“I promised your mother that you would not be hurt in any way. You told me that you knew this area like the backs of your hands and that you could sneak in and out without being caught.”

“We did exactly that, Queen Alexia, but we can keep hidden and still watch, can’t we?” begged Peter.

I hesitate for effect before answering. “You may stay but keep out of sight. The men of New Amsterdam will protect you.” I look around at the men on horseback and on the wagon. “Does everyone understand that?”

There’s a mixed chorus of responses, all agreeing with what I just said. Johnathyn nudges the team of horses off the road in the direction the boys indicated and we are soon at the base of the hill. I order everyone to dismount and take what cover they can in the trees to the left while Johnathyn and I continue up to the top of the hill with the wagon.

“Do you know what you are going to do, Alexia?”

“I’ve got a pretty good idea. Where I came from, they call it shock and awe.”

“Are you certain it will succeed?”

“Oh yeah. I just hope I don’t chicken out.”

* * * *** * * * *** * * *

The hillside was steeper than it looked and I had to push the team to keep the wagon rolling forward. After almost fifty decileages, the ground began to level out as we crested the hill to view Thalyn Burns’ property.

It was an impressive sight. All rich bottom land, the best in the region. A very large, fine house with expensive furniture imported all the way from Glory. It is said that much of it was built by the same people who work for Opulessa. Had worked, I should say. There are two large barns flanking the home with three separate wells to provide water for all his livestock. Fields stretch back behind the house, mostly corn and hay, which run on for leagues. The nearby forests are farmed for their wood, stocking a lumber mill driven by the river. This is the most prosperous piece of land in the entire region and not the only land that Burns owns.

It takes a few decicycles for the men below to realize that their ambush plan has failed and they begin firing at us. Alexia allows a few bullets to fly by before she takes action. All the men chained to the wagon had fallen as flat to the bed of the wagon as they could to avoid being shot, cursing loudly at both Alexia and their compatriots as they did so. Alexia walks to the edge of the wagon nearest Burns’ house, making her both an obvious and easy target and raises both hands in the air. You can hear the bullets strike something in the air around her but it is not the sharp sound you normally hear upon impact. It is more like the gloppy sound of a boiling pudding. It takes but a little while to see that she is stopping the bullets in midair, they just hang there, accumulating, the air growing thicker with them with each passing milicycle. The prisoners eventually look up from their prone positions, astonished at what they see.

After almost fifteen decicycles, the firing slows to the occasional shot, the men having realized that something strange is happening and that their fire in not effective. Alexia moves her hands about and all the suspended bullets reform themselves into a loose ball which is resting on the palm of her right hand. She reaches back and makes a lazy toss of the ball but it flies through the air with great force, breaking through the nearest window of Burns’ home but it doesn’t stop there. I can hear loud thumps, crashes and screams as people flee the house from the front door. I can also see a few people gathering in the back area behind the home, likely having fled there from the house through other doors.

The ball exits the house through a wall and continues into the barn on the right, again clearing out the people and then it repeats its actions in the other barn before bursting through the barn roof, roaring skyward and exploding with a blinding light and an earth shaking rumble. Alexia stretches her arms out again.

“I AM QUEEN ALEXIA!’ she proclaims in a voice that echoes across the valley. It is much too loud and deep to have been uttered by a person even with the strongest lungs. She is manipulating her voice with magic. “I AM THE RIGHTFULL RULER OF THIS WORLD! THOSE WHO JOIN ME WILL LIVE. THOSE WHO OPPOSE ME WILL DIE. YOU HAVE TEN DECICYCLES TO DECIDE. LEAVE THIS PLACE WITHOUT YOUR WEAPONS. RETURN HOME AND FIGHT ME NO MORE! STAY AND DIE. YOUR CHOICE!” She drops her arms and steps back from the edge of the wagon.

There was an instant return of gunfire but at a much lessened intensity, but Alexia has restored her shield. I can see a great deal of movement among the men below. There are several tussles taking place and a number of individuals are quickly walking or actually running away. Still, many remain quite a few coming from further up the road where they had originally planned to attack us. The new arrivals were the ones actually firing in our direction.

Through all this, Alexia remained calm and determined while the men who had traveled with us from New Amsterdam did as she told them, kept hidden and did not return fire. The bullets are beginning to accumulate in the air around us again but we can still see down into the valley. There is a small, fat man scurrying about. I believe that it is Thalyn Burns. He is surrounded by a number of heavily armed men but they move as a group up and down the lines, directing fire from this squad or that squad.

Alexia drops her head, wavering for just a milicycle.

“It’s time,” she whispers. “God help me.” Then she straightens up and sets her shoulders.

“TIME IS UP!” she cries out in that magically loud and deep voice. She forms another bullet ball and sends it in the direction of that small fat man. It explodes several feet in front of him, scattering his people in all directions. Before they can gather back together, Alexia steps to the side of the wagon. “ANY WHO REMAIN, THEIR LIFE IS MINE TO DO WITH AS I PLEASE!”

She jerks Boggins into the air as far as his chain will permit, his feet kicking at nothing as they try to find purchase.

“THIS MAN IS ONE OF YOU! HE COMMITTED TERRIBLE ACTS OF VIOLENCE AGAINST THE PEOPLE OF NEW AMSTERDAM. FOR THAT, HE DIES TODAY!”

She leaves him floating in the air as she returns to the driver’s bench of the wagon, lifts the seat and removes an other world rifle.

“What are you going to do, Alexia?” I ask.

She slides the bolt of the rifle back and forwards, loading a round into the chamber.

“In my old world, it’s called shooting skeet. We use clay pigeons. I’ll just have to make do.” She steps back to the edge of the wagon as Boggins strains against his bonds, cursing and screaming at Alexia. She turns to face him. “Ready to ask for my forgiveness? Even now is not too late, Boggins.”

His reply is spitting towards her but she blocks it just as she did the bullets. She shoulders the rifle and turns back towards the men in the valley.

“PULL!” she shouts. Boggins breaks free of his chains and is thrown high into the air over the heads of the men. His path through the air is a long, high arc. All is silent except for his panic driven screams. Alexia tracks his progress with the muzzle of her rifle. As he plummets towards the ground, she pulls the trigger. There is a single, sharp retort and Boggins body disappears in a cloud of red vapor and tiny bits of flesh which rain down over Thalyn and his army.

We can hear their cries of shock and anguish.

Olmert is the next one to levitate off the floor of the wagon. He is too stunned to react.

“THIS MAN ALSO VICTIMIZED THE PEOPLE OF NEW AMSTERDAM BUT HE MADE A SPECIALTY OF RAPING VERY YOUNG GIRLS! PULL!”

As Olmert flew through the air to his unbelievable fate, he too screamed in panic but it was to no avail. A single shot from Alexia’s gun and he was also reduced to tiny pieces that drenched the men off to our right.

This bloody display continued for each of the other men. Alexia listed their crimes, launched them off into the air and dispatched them with a shot from her rifle, the gruesome remains of each man pelting a different section of the men before us. When it came to Sorken, she simply said “I PROMISED HIM HE’D BE THE LAST TO DIE.”

Since he saw what happened to Boggins, Sorken had been continually begging Alexia to forgive him. As each man went to meet his horrible fate, he had resorted to pleading, then crying and was now just babbling, frightened beyond comprehension. Alexia did not even look upon his pitiful countenance before uttering that final word and he is propelled into the air to his doom. He seems to be heading towards the barn on the left, totally silent, having likely passed out from fear. Alexia is following him with the rifle until, at the last moment she raises the muzzle straight into the air and fires, deliberately missing him. He lands in an enormous pile of hay, scattering it to the four winds. Two men run over to him and help him walk away from the pile, very much alive. She hands me her rifle.

“Five out of six isn’t bad. That was the shock. Now comes the awe.”

She closes her eyes, balling up her fists. I can hear the occasional shot in our direction but she ignores them, squeezing her eyes tightly shut. There is nothing but sporadic gunfire for several milicycles and then I hear a sound, something I had never heard before this moment. It was like a huge animal bellowing, deep and long, but at the end there was the sound not unlike the peal of a bell, as if the animal had swallowed a bell and a horn but they were still resonating deep in his gullet. The call echoes up and down the valley, causing all to look about in fearful confusion.

I cannot tell from which direction the sound comes, nor can the men below us. They continue to look about. Quite a few of them had run away when Alexia began executing the prisoners but there are still over 200 men present, including Thalyn Burns. The sound begins to grow louder, as if the beast is rapidly approaching but there is still no clue as to what it is and where it is coming from. Just as the call becomes so loud that one is almost forced to cover one’s ears, the creature bursts over the top of the trees in the forest to our left.

It is a dragon! The same dragon that Alexia had conjured at the Collens’ table three days prior but so much larger. Its wings spread wide; it is easily thirty decileagues tip to tip and even longer from snout to tale. Each of its four clawed paws could easily grab a man and crush him to death. Its color is blackness itself but the scales still reflect the light as if it is made of some kind of black jewel, which only increases the contrast with its large, red, angry eyes. What were cute, little teeth before are now fearsome ivory white sabers.

It glides over the compound from left to right and then wheels around to pass over again. It draws the fire of a few staunch men but the rest are running for their lives, scrambling over anyone so unlucky as to fall down in the directionless stampede of both people and animals looking to escape what, until today, was an entirely fictional animal but one that every fiber of your being tells you is the most dangerous thing in this world. It is during this second pass that the beast belches a stream of flame so intense that the Burns house is instantly aflame. Two more blasts and both barns are blazing out of control in milicycles.

The creature turns its attention to the fields, crossing back and forth with a lazy flap of its gigantic wings, setting the crops on fire with little effort. The dragon then circles the area one last time, gaining altitude from the rising heat created by the absolute fiery devastation it has left behind and then heads west, towards Glory. I finally lose sight of it as it approaches the horizon because the smoke is too thick to see through. A few milicycles later, Alexia relaxes, collapsing against me, barely able to stand.

“Johnathyn, get me out of here.”

* * * *** * * * *** * * *

I’m a monster.

An inhuman monster.

There’s no other way to put it. I just killed five men in cold blood. Each and every one of them had either murdered or raped multiple men, women and even children since they invaded New Amsterdam and Zaphod knows what they did before that but I was the one who decided they would die for what they did and I pulled the trigger.

The first guard was an accident. The second guard was going to report us. I gave him a chance to stop but he refused. I didn’t actually kill Opulessa but I had a pretty good idea what would happen when I took her magic away. I even gave Boggins and his people a chance to repent, to ask for forgiveness but they said drop dead.

I would have said the same thing if I was in their position.

Would it have made any difference if they had asked for forgiveness? Someone had to pay for what happened here. I needed to make an example of somebody so people would know that I was serious. I did the same thing back in high school with that senior football player who kicked Terry in the back. I was on him so fast that he didn’t know what hit him. Once I had him on the ground, I could have let him go but I kept wailing on him until the cops broke it up. Cost me a month’s suspension but practically no one messed with me or Terry for the next three years and the ones who did deserved what they got. They had been put on notice.

I had to put this world on notice. Alexia is back and you do not want to fuck with her. Bigger stage, bigger act, but I saw the look in Johnathyn’s eyes, in the eyes of all the other men who had witnessed what I had done.

I’m a monster.

* * * *** * * * *** * * *

Alexia was as fatigued as I could ever recall seeing her. She was barely able to stand as she slumped against me but I could sense that she did not wish for the others to know this. A small group of the New Amsterdam men cautiously approached the wagon. As soon as Alexia saw them, she pulled herself upright but it took great effort.

“Qu-qu-qu-queen All-llexia?” the nearest man stutters.

“Yes?” she gasps loudly in reply.

“What do-do-do you command us to do?”

She discreetly looks up at me, begging me to take control. I oblige.

“The Queen wishes for you and your men to men to go down below and look for survivors. Bring any injured people back to New Amsterdam. We will leave the wagon and take two of the horses and meet you back there.”

“Witch,” she whispers.

“Yes. Bring the witch Penelope with you if you find her. Do not take any unnecessary risks while doing so. The Queen does not wish for any of you men to be killed or injured in her service.”

“Looting” she says, slightly louder than before.

“For or against?” I ask, seeking clarification.

Her face flashes a moment of humor. “Against. Definitely against,” she firmly states.

“There is to be no looting by you men,” I proclaim.

There is a pause while everyone looks over at the smoking, blackened scene below them.

“Who needs charcoal?” quips someone from the back of the crowd. A swirl of nervous laughter sweeps through and quickly vanishes.

“Nonetheless, you have your orders. No looting and do not take risks,” I repeat. “If one of you would be so kind as to bring us two good horses…” There is a mad scramble as they all seek to comply with my request. Momentarily alone, I quietly question Alexia.

“Can you ride?”

She shakily steps away from me towards the edge of the wagon.

“Long enough to get out of sight, then I’ll need a few minutes to rest.”

She seems to be a little stronger than before but nothing like her usual self. I rush over to where she is attempting to climb down from the wagon, jump down, turn, take her by the waist and lift her off the wagon, gently setting her down next to me, my hands remaining about her waist.

“Thank you Johnathyn. For everything.”

“You are most welcome, my wife.”

This brings another brief glow of happiness to her face but it fades almost immediately. One of the two boys, I believe his name is Frankle, rushes towards us holding the reins of a good horse in each hand. I take the reins from his right hand, straighten the horse’s tack and saddle and assist Alexia in mounting. I then grab the other set of reins and quickly swing up into the saddle.

Alexia takes a deep breath, gathers herself and then addresses the group of men before her. “Take great care. No one dies today in my service. I want to make that clear. Do you all understand?”

There is a loud chorus of affirmative response, with numerous bows and “my Queens” added.

“Good. Make your inspection and return as soon as possible. Your families await you.”

She spins the horse around and prods it in the flanks with her heels. It bolts forward in a cloud of dust, galloping off down the hill, leaving me behind. I flick my reins and urge my horse forward to catch up to Alexia. It is but a few decicycles and we have both rounded a long bend in the road and Alexia pulls up near a grove of trees, visibly slumping in the saddle.

“Are you not well?” I ask.

“No, I’m not sick. It was that dragon. It took damn near everything I had to make it and keep it going. I think it was too big.”

“It was certainly a surprise. As was the other thing.”

“You hate me, don’t you?”

“NO! I do not hate you! It is just something like that, without any warning. Why did you not speak to me about it before?”

“We did talk about me needing to do something big, something shocking, to get people’s attention.”

“Well, the way you killed those men and that dragon. Why a dragon?”

“Leeanna told me so many stories that had been told to her when she was young. Both our cultures include mythic beasts and we both have stories about dragons. They aren’t real but everyone knows what they look like. You know one when you see one. It was easy for me to visualize because they’ve been created by our popular entertainment for years. In books and movies and paintings and television. There’s an entire dragon subculture, like they’re real things. This is one Leeanna and I thought up. Her name is Lilly.”

“Her name?”

“Yes, HER name. Don’t be so surprised. A dragon has to have a sex, might as well be a girl dragon.”

“How can you tell?”

“The usual way. Didn’t you notice when she flew by?”

“I guess I was more concerned about other things. The teeth, the claws, the big spiked tail. And the fire.”

“She is a bit of a show off, isn’t she? Don’t change the subject, what about the skeet shooting?”

“Again, it would have been better if you had come to me first. Why did you not?”

“Because you would have talked me out of it. It was the right thing to do but if I knew that you didn’t approve I don’t think I could have done it. I’m going to have a hard time living with myself as it is. If I thought that you hated me for it …”

“I do not hate you. I could never hate you.”

“That’s what I saw in your eyes. Definitely hate.”

“Surprise, certainly. Upset, yes. Disgust, that would be true. Fear … yes, fear. I did not know that you were capable of such a thing.”

“A person can think up a lot of terrible things. When I think it up, it can happen. If I don’t stop it.” She sits up straight in the saddle, stretching and arching her back. “I’m feeling a little recharged now. We better get on the road to home.”

“What will you do if the men find the witch Penelope?”

She is thoughtful for a moment. “I don’t know. I really don’t know.”

* * * *** * * * *** * * *

We had been back in New Amsterdam for over three cycles before the men returned. They hadn’t found any survivors but they didn’t find any bodies either. That was what I had intended. I wanted everyone out of the house and barns when they were burned. I wanted property destruction, not dead people. At least no more than necessary. I know that we’re talking war and death comes with war but I’ll do all that I can to keep the body count low, particularly if I’m not sure that they truly deserve it.

I can’t describe how happy I was to see them all come home safe and sound. I wasn’t there to watch over everyone and if one of them had gotten hurt or died while doing something I told them to do, I just can’t imagine it. How could I face a parent or a wife and tell them their loved one was dead or hurt and it was my fault?

Even better, they had found the other witch. She had been hiding in one of the well houses during the attack. Good choice. All stone and plenty of water in case of fire. When she was brought in to see me, there were several bruises on her arms and face.

“Did any of you do that to her?” I inquire with an edge to my voice.

“No, my Queen! We found her just as you see her! We did nothing to the poor wretch!”

Poor wretch was a pretty accurate description. The girl looks to be barely eighteen years old, thin, gangly, dirty hair and, though she has nice clothes, nicer than mine actually, they’re torn and soiled. On top of that, she’s scared out of her wits.

“Who harmed you, girl? You can tell me. Was it one of my people?”

She looks back and forth between me and the men who had brought her in to Johnathyn’s home to meet me, eyes full of fear. She finally just shook her head “no” and then stares at the floor.

“You can go,” I say, dismissing the men. “Go see your families. They’re worried about you despite my assurances.”

They all hurry out, relieved to get away from me. Can’t say I blame them. The stories will be all over the town before bedtime. We’ll see how I’m treated tomorrow. For now, it’s just me and Penelope in the kitchen. She’s just standing there, shaking like the lone leaf on a bare tree during a winter storm.

“What are you, girl? A fifty one? A forty three?” She just stares at her feet, trembling. “Talk to me. I’m not going to bite your head off. Yet.”

Her head snaps up, her eyes all wide and crazy. Clearly she can’t take a joke. I want to know something about her and how she was recruited but she’s just too damned afraid of me.

Just then, Leeanna charges into the room, bumping into Penelope who practically jumps through the roof.

“Excuse me!” Lee apologizes. “Mother, have you seen my room? It is even better than before! They fixed the leak in the ceiling.”

“Leeanna, calm down. We have a guest.”

“I’m sorry, Mother. Good day. I’m Leeanna Tyber.” Leeanna extends her right hand, just as I taught her. Shaking hands is not a custom of this world. Customs have to start somewhere. Penelope just stares at her hand.

“It works like this,” I say, taking and shaking Leeanna’s hand. Lee turns back toward Penelope, hand out, smiling innocently. Penelope glances down at her own open hand, then slowly reaches out. Leeanna takes the initiative, grabbing and shaking it, smiling all the time. “What’s your name?” she asks.

You can practically see the gears turning in Penelope’s head. Lee is just about as non-threatening as humanly possible. She’s my own little goodwill Ambassador. The witch is comparing what she thinks she knows about me and what she sees in front of her. I let Leeanna keep talking.

“Are you a witch? I know a lot of witches. They’re really nice people, well, except for Opulessa but you know that already. Sometimes, I wish I was a witch.”

“But you said that you are her daughter. How can you be her daughter and not be a witch?” Penelope asks nervously.

“Leeanna is the daughter of my husband. Her birth mother is dead so now she is my daughter, just not by blood.”

“I see.”

“So,” Leeanna persists, “what is your name?”

“Penelope Langer.”

“What are you? Mother is a Seventy Seven; the most powerful witch in the world, though she’s nothing like Opulessa. Thank Zaphod.”

“I am only a Thirty Six.”

“That is more than I am.”

“How did you get involved with Thalyn Burns, Penelope?” I inquire.

“He – he came to my village. We live west and south of this area. He had need of a witch and my father sold me to him.”

“Your father SOLD you?”

Penelope falls back a little, fear returning to her face.

I raise both hands, palms forward. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to frighten you. You simply surprised me. I knew about debt labor and dowries but downright slavery? Well, all this shit ends NOW!”

She steps further back. Damn it!

“Sorry, sorry,” I say, as calmly as possible. “I sometimes get a little emotional about certain things.”

“A little emotional?” Leeanna chides. “That is like saying the Miryian Waters are a little warm.” She slowly approaches Penelope, taking both of her hands, holding them between hers, peering deep into her frightened eyes. “My Mother can be very frightening sometimes but she is the best person I know. Other than my Father. She won’t hurt you.” She looks back at me. “Will you, Mother.”

It’s not a question but a statement. I’d like to answer with the truth, which is “I won’t hurt you without cause” but that’s not what Penelope needs to hear right now.

“I will not hurt you, Penelope.”

“And my mother does not tell falsehoods. You are safe among us.” She releases her hands. “Have you seen Father, Mother?”

“Not lately. He was with Mr. Collens, looking through the things he and Alycia had saved from the bad men.”

She becomes excited. “I must find them! They could have some of my belongings.” She hurries from the room, leaving Penelope and I alone again.

I smile tightly at Penelope.

“Leeanna can be a bit hyperactive sometimes.”

“Sh-sh-she seems nice. And honest.”

“She is, for the most part. What happened after Burns bought you from your father?”

“We returned to his home. I had a small room over one of the barns and was left mostly alone. A servant girl would bring me food and the occasional book.”

“You can read?”

“Yes. My Mother taught me.”

“That puts you a leg up on a lot of people around here. Can you write?”

“Yes.”

“What else did your mother teach you?”

“She is a Healer. I was learning the trade,” she answers, a smidgen of pride showing.

“A Healer? There may be some use for you yet. How did you get those bruises?”

“It was after you arrived, after you defeated his men who lived in New Amsterdam. Burns wanted me to fight you but I refused.”

“Couldn’t hurt a sister witch?”

“No. I was afraid of dying. When he discovered how little I could actually do, he gave up beating me. I returned to my room and stayed there until your big metal ball chased me outside.”

Well, at least that part worked. “What happened when we attacked today?”

“I was running about the compound, searching for a place to hide. Everywhere I went, the men blamed me for what had happened to their friends. I finally found refuge in a well house. After that, I know not. What was that terrible noise?”

“That was Lilly, my dragon. Didn’t you take a peek?”

“I was much too afraid. You have a dragon?”

“When I need her, yes.”

There’s a rapid knock on the kitchen door.

“Come in,” I order.

A woman bursts in, immediately bowing low before me. “My Queen! It is my son! He is not well! I know you have done your best but …” she blurts out in one long sentence before I stop her.

“Wait. Hold up. Your son is the one that was shot, right?”

“Yes, my Queen! His fever has returned and he is in much pain.”

“Okay, we’ll be right there.”

“Oh thank you, my Queen! May Zaphod bless you!” She hurries from the room.

I reach down and pick up my backpack. “Come on, Penelope. We’ve got work to do.”

“WE?” she gasps.

“You’re a Healer, aren’t you? Time to show me what you can do.”

* * * *** * * * *** * * *

When we enter the small house, it’s crowded with friends and family. Penelope doesn’t need the pressure.

“I need everyone out of here, everyone except for the mother and father.”

“His father is dead. He is my only child, my Queen.”

Great. A widow and her only child. No pressure there.

“We’ll do all that we can.”

As the rest of the people file out, the mother leads us to a small, neat bedroom. Her son is laying on his back in bed, sweating buckets and moaning in pain. There appears to be some swelling in his abdomen. I drop my pack next to the bed then reach out and gently touch the swollen spot. He twists away from my touch, groaning.

“Okay, Penelope, what’s wrong?”

“You wish me to … but, I thought you would … I am not skilled enough.”

“Nonsense. This is basic stuff. You said your mother was training you. What’s wrong with this patient?”

She nervously licks her parched lips and then turns towards the boy. “He - he seems to be feverish.”

“Good. What else?”

“His skin is pale.”

“Fine. What else?”

“I can see nothing else.”

“Use your other senses. What do you smell?”

“Smell? I smell nothing unusual.”

“Concentrate. Breathe slowly. Savor the odor, like it’s a fine meal.”

She bends down and does what I say. She slowly inhales and exhales, eyes closed, her nose a few milicycles above his stomach. She gradually moves up then back down his body.

“What do you smell, Penelope?”

“There is nothing, my Queen. Only the sweat from his body … and …” she stops right above the swollen area, cocks her head to the side and takes several breaths.

“And what?”

“I am not sure. I have never smelled this before. It is like … rotten meat?”

“Very good! Let’s take a look.”

I remove the laptop from my pack and turn it on. The medical CD is already in the drive and it starts immediately. I bring up the section on anatomy, starting at the skin.

“This is what the body looks like, from the outside in.”

“What is this magic?” she yelps.

“I’ll explain later. We’re a little short on time. Pay attention.”

I begin to peel back the layers on the screen, first the skin, the pores and glands, the muscles, the organs and finally the bones. Penelope stares in wide eyed amazement. Reversing the steps, I review everything as I work back to the skin.

“Okay, that’s what it should look like. Now, we’re going to go see what is actually going on in there.”

“See? But how?”

“It’s not easy, but a good witch can move out of herself, put her senses in another place separate from her body. You can experience what is happening in another room, another house, another body.”

“I am not powerful enough to do such a miracle! I have never done anything like that.”

“That’s why I showed you all those pictures. You have to imagine that you are there. Think about what it would look like. If you put yourself there in your mind, your mind will go there.”

“My Queen, I am only a Thirty Six!”

“True, but with me in the room, you are the strongest Thirty Six this world has ever seen. We feed off of each other’s magic. That’s what happens when witches join forces. A group of witches is the most powerful force in this universe and you are a part of this sisterhood. Embrace the power! You are supposed to be a Healer. Be a Healer! Use your power to save this boy’s life.”

“But you could do this some more easily than I.”

“What happens when I leave? Who will care for these people? This region needs a talented Healer. You can be that Healer. With training and practice, you could become a legendary Healer. You already know more than most Healers in this world. They’ve got little idea as to what’s below the skin. Does your mother know?”

“Not that she told me.”

“There ya’ go.” I hold my open hand over the boy’s body, just below the swollen area. “Aim for this spot. I’m guessing he’s got an abscess.”

“What is that?”

“A pocket of infection. I probably missed something the first time. You ready to give this a whirl?”

“What?”

“Are you prepared to attempt this?”

Penelope takes a ragged breath and an equally ragged exhale. “Yes, my Queen.”

I touch her shoulder. Her head swivels to look me in the eyes.

“You can do this, Penelope. You’ve got the power, you’ve got the knowledge. All you have to do is put the two together. You don’t have to do anything, just tell me what you see. Got it?”

“Yes, my Queen.” She closes her eyes, breathing quickly.

“Sloooow doooown,” I whisper in her ear. “Relaaax. Visualize. Picture the spot. When you have the spot in your mind, your mind will go to the spot. Reeelaaax.”

Her breathing becomes slower but deeper, eventually several milicycles between breaths. I concentrate on filling her with my power.

“It is dark,” she states quietly.

“You can make it brighter. Think about you being surrounded by light.”

“Yes,” she sighs. There is a pause and then she smiles. “It is all so amazing! I could never have believed this was possible.”

“Is there blood moving past you?”

“Yes, quite a large amount.”

“Anything mixed with the blood?”

She squints her closed eyes. “There is something … it is a gray thread, swirling about.”

“Move towards that gray thread, follow it to the source.”

She nods her head as her brow furrows. She says nothing else for almost a decicycle. I don’t want to interrupt her but I need to know what is going on.

“Penelope …”

“It is terrible! So foul! A cavern of odorous liquid.”

“I’d say you found it. Good job. Very good job. You can return and I’ll take care of it.”

“May I stay and watch? I must learn how to do this.”

Looks like I’ve got a winner on my hands.

* * * *** * * * *** * * *

“I apologize for not getting this right the first time, Ma’am,” I tell his mother. “The bullet hit a rib and a fragment ended up in his abdomen. I didn’t catch it the first time and the area became infected. We got it all this time but I’m leaving Mistress Penelope here to make certain he recovers.”

“Mistress Penelope? Is she not the same witch who was Queen Penelope?”

“She was but not by choice. Thalyn Burns,” it still galls me to say it, “bought her and imprisoned her. She was a pawn in his game.”

“What is pawn, my Queen?”

Uugghh boy. “Sorry. Let’s see. Ahhh, she was as much a victim as your son was and she will atone for any possible sins by caring for him and the people of this town as Healer once I have left.”

“You are leaving us? Who will protect us should Thalyn Burns return?”

“He shouldn’t. He and his men are on the run. If the men of this region organize a militia group, they should be able to prevent anyone from causing trouble until I get the Queen’s Guard up and running again.”

“If I may be so bold as to ask, my Queen, how will you accomplish that?”

“Just as I did it here, though I won’t be destroying so many of the crops. My husband pointed out that I shouldn’t have burned fifteen percent of this regions corn and wheat crops. Don’t worry, I’ll take care of that too once I’m back in Glory.”