Open flames in an enclosed habitat like Phobos are a dangerous thing, but it’s hard to cast certain spells without the use of candles.

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Twisted Throwback

part 22 of 25

by Trismegistus Shandy

This story is set, with Morpheus' permission, in his Twisted universe. It's set about a generation later than "Twisted", "Twisted Pink", etc. A somewhat different version was serialized on the morpheuscabinet2 mailing list in January-April 2014.

Thanks to Morpheus, Maggie Finson, D.A.W., Johanna, and JM for beta-reading earlier drafts. Thanks to Grover, Paps Paw, and others who commented on the earlier serial.

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My Twist-obsession with school kept me focused on class as long as the teachers were actually lecturing, but all during breakfast, the bus ride, and homeroom, and in between classes, I was obsessing over how I was going to tell Rob I didn’t want to go out with him, and second-guessing myself about whether I should. Vic walked with me from Physics to Calculus, and asked about my weekend, and told me about his — he’d played Phantoms of Phobos with Lionel Saturday, and hung out at home watching old movies with his dad.

“And I saw The Left Hand of Darkness, the old version you said Rob recommended... I guess it was a good movie, sort of — it was better acted than the recent version, but it wasn’t that much more faithful to the book, and it was hard to get past that. What was Rob thinking?”

I almost told him I was going to break it off with Rob, but I didn’t; I wanted to make sure I had the courage to do it, first, and not get his hopes up only to dash them. I just said: “I’ll take your word for it — I never got around to reading the novel before my Twist, and now I guess I never will.”

At lunch, just after getting my tray, I sought out Rob and sat down next to him. He looked happy that I’d come looking for him this time, and that made me feel worse about breaking it off, but I still wanted to.

Then he said: “Hey, Emily. I talked with my dad — about your problem with the medicine the Medical Bureau’s dragging their feet on...? He said he can help, if you tell him the name of the medicine, and the doctor who prescribed it, and so forth.”

“Oh... thanks. I don’t know, I mean — if I keep having problems with it, I’ll need help from somebody, but I don’t know if I can afford —”

“He said no charge for you. He said he owes you a favor, for something your grandpa helped him out with a while ago... and also, well. Because of you and me.” He smiled again, and at that, I almost changed my mind. His smile had that kind of effect on me.

“You could give him a call after school,” he went on, “or — if it suits — he and Mom asked me to invite you over for supper, sometime. I understand if this week doesn’t suit, I expect you’ll be busy with family stuff, and so will we toward the end of the week, but if you’re free tonight or tomorrow night —”

“Rob,” I said, “wait a minute. I need to tell you something.” That wasn’t the right way to begin, I realized, but it was too late. He looked expectant, and I hurried on.

“I enjoyed our dates the last couple of Fridays... And I want to thank you again for helping me figure out more about my Twist, about how I don’t like fictional movies anymore but I like documentaries more than before. And — you gave me a big confidence boost when I needed it, when I was feeling kind of insecure about people accepting me as a girl.”

“But...?” He could tell there was a catch, and probably already knew what was coming.

“But I don’t think it’s going to work, long-term. And I don’t want to lead you on, hoping for more than you’re going to get... I think we should break it off before it gets too serious.”

He looked disappointed, even dismayed. “Are you sure? I mean — it doesn’t have to last forever to be worthwhile. And I said before, I’m not expecting you to... ah, do anything you’re uncomfortable with, or before you’re ready... Could you give it a try for a little longer?”

“I don’t think so. No. I’m sorry, but... Tell your mom and dad I said thanks for the invitation, but I don’t think it suits.”

“All right,” he said after a long silence. “But... you should still give my dad a call, about your medicine problem. I won’t tell him we broke up until after he helps you with this. But I think he’d still help you even if I told him.”

“...Thank you,” I whispered. “You can tell him if you want. I’ll call him... maybe tomorrow after school, after you’ve had a chance to talk to him. Thanks.”

After that, I picked up my tray and wandered absent-mindedly toward Sarah’s table, and then thought: I spent all day Sunday with them, I should eat with Vic and Lionel today. I changed directions, and sat down next to Vic a few moments later.

“Hi,” I said.

“What’s up with you today?” Lionel asked. “You sounded pretty distracted during homeroom...”

“Are you okay?” Vic asked.

“Pretty okay,” I said. “I just told Rob I’m not going out with him again. I won’t say ‘broke up with him,’ because two dates does not a boyfriend and girlfriend make, but he was pretty disappointed and it wasn’t easy to tell him.”

Lionel gave Vic a quick, hard-to-interpret glance. Vic said:

“I won’t say I’m not happy about it, but why? Last time we talked about it, you seemed pretty pleased with him.”

I shrugged. “I kind of decided you were right about him... He’s a nice guy, but we aren’t really all that well suited. Probably only somebody like him, who’s bi, would be interested in me right now... but once I get my body fixed, I’ll have more options.” I think I was daring Vic to prove me wrong, to show me that a straight guy could be interested in me as a girl.

“Any more idea when that’s going to be?” Lionel asked. “You were going to the doctor Saturday, right?”

“Yes — he said he’d have the endocrinologist get me started on hormones right away! Well, we’ll probably have to wait a few days, at least, for the Medical Bureau to approve them, but I hope it will be within another week or two.”

“Great!” Vic looked like he was about to hug me, but he didn’t, not there at the lunch table.

I realized then that I shouldn’t have told them the good news about the hormone therapy right away. Now I couldn’t tell if Vic was just happy for me because of that... or about me breaking it off with Rob.

Lionel congratulated me too, and we talked more as we ate; I told them a little about meeting Bobby, Rachel, Medea and Tavondra, and Lionel told me what they’d been doing in their other Phantoms of Phobos game, and asked if I wanted to come over and play another session or two of our game.

“Sure,” I said. “I’ve got family stuff going on Wednesday through Sunday, but tonight or tomorrow night, or both, would be fine.” We had only two days of school this week, and I’d seen a lot more of Sarah, Olive and Morgan than of Vic and Lionel in the last few days, so I thought I could skip the study session at Sarah’s house tonight.

When we were almost done eating, I heard a voice I recognized from behind me: “Um, Emily?”

I turned and saw Morgan. “Hi, Morgan. I think you’ve met Vic? And this is Lionel.”

“Hey. You said something about playing the new Phantoms of Phobos...?”

“You want to join us?” Lionel asked.

“Lionel has the best VR setup of any of us; we usually meet at his house,” I put in.

“Yeah, maybe so. I used to enjoy those games, but most of my friends aren’t into them... except Emily. She said you guys might not mind?”

“Not at all,” Lionel said. “Um, we should finish up the game we’ve got started, that’ll take another one or two sessions, but we could start another game next week and include you...?”

“Yeah,” Morgan said, “I’ve got study group tonight and we’re leaving to visit my grandparents for Thanksgiving tomorrow, so next Tuesday’s the earliest I could do it either.”

“Cool.”

“You can give me a ride to Lionel’s house after school next Tuesday,” I suggested.

As Sarah and I walked from Literature to the gym, I told her I wasn’t coming to the study group meeting because I’d be gaming with Vic and Lionel.

“That’s cool,” she said. “I hope it works out between you and Vic.”

“There may not be anything to work out,” I said. “I’m planning to take it slow, like Morgan said — staying friends with him is more important than becoming his girlfriend.”

Even though we had only two days of school this week, I put in some serious study on the bus, and for an hour or so after I got home. Uncle Jack and Mildred had gone on a field trip to the Etowah Indian Mounds, and wouldn’t be back until later; then Mom messaged me about the time I got out of school, saying she’d have to work late too, and Dad and I would need to fix supper. I messaged back and forth with Dad and Vic and Lionel about plans for the evening; then Vic picked me up and we went over to Lionel’s house.

I was nervous and excited when Vic drove up — I’d been sitting on the porch waiting for him, in spite of the chill weather, and I jumped up and ran down the porch steps to his passenger door almost before he could open it for me. This was going to be the first time we were alone together, even for a short time, since he found out I wasn’t going out with Rob anymore. Would he tell me what he felt about me? Should I tell him what I felt about him? I decided I should wait and give him a chance to make the first move. And he didn’t, not right then, but I was encouraged by his big smile when I climbed in beside him.

“Excited?” he asked. “I think we’re going to make a breakthrough tonight — we’ve identified the ghost, and now we have to figure out why she’s haunting the filtration plant.”

“Yeah,” I said vaguely, trying to recall what had been going on in the game. I got into it enthusiastically enough while I was playing with Vic and Lionel, but I didn’t obsess over the game between sessions like I used to. “Maybe we’ll find out she was murdered there and the murderer took her body to her cubby to dump it...? I’m sorry, Kiera will be better at figuring that out than I am. Let’s talk about something else for now.”

“Sorry,” he said. “I still don’t have a good handle on how your Twist is affecting you...”

“Neither do I. I thought for the first few days that I’d lost all interest in games, but I decided to give Phantoms of Phobos a try 'cause you and Lionel were all excited about it, and I was surprised to find out I could still enjoy that kind of game. And then I thought I’d lost all interest in movies, but then last Friday I found out I love documentaries more than I ever did before.”

He didn’t say anything for a minute or two, and then, just as we were getting to Lionel’s house, he said: “I’m really glad you broke up with Rob. He’s not good enough for you.”

“He’s a nicer guy than you give him credit for,” I said, thinking of how he’d offered to keep his dad in the dark about us not dating anymore until he helped me with the Medical Bureau. “But I don’t think we’d suit together long-term.”

He parked and we got out and walked up to Lionel’s door. Lionel opened it.

“Supper’s almost ready,” he said, “so I guess we’ll play afterward.”

“Can I help get things ready, Mrs. Ellis?” I asked.

She put us to work setting the table — Vic and I had both been over there often enough we knew where everything was. A few minutes later we all sat down to eat.

“What all is your family doing for Thanksgiving this year, Emily?” Lionel’s mom asked.

“We’re hanging out at Grandma and Grandpa’s house most of the day Wednesday, and then it’s Aunt Karen’s turn this year to host the big Thanksgiving dinner on Thursday.” We rotated different years among the people with houses big enough to host everybody; because Aunt Karen was providing the space, other people would be doing most of the cooking. “And then Friday, I expect some of us will be going to Rome or Chattanooga to do some shopping.”

She nodded. “Alison and Nina will be coming home Wednesday, and staying until Sunday.” Lionel’s older sisters were both going to UGA in Athens. “And my sister and her kids will be coming over Thursday morning, and we’ll have dinner here.”

“We’re leaving Wednesday to go to my aunt’s house,” Vic said. “We’ll be back Friday, though, if you aren’t too busy,” he added to me.

“I’d like to see you this weekend if it suits,” I said. “My uncle’s leaving early Sunday, and I’m not sure about our cousins from Spiral and Atlanta... if they’ve already gone home by Sunday, we might could hang out then.”

After supper, I offered to help Mrs. Ellis clean up, but she shooed me out of the kitchen. “I know you came over to play that game with Lionel, so go play. I can handle this.”

I sat down on the sofa next to Vic and put on my helmet and gloves.

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Open flames in an enclosed habitat like Phobos are a dangerous thing, but it’s hard to cast certain spells without the use of candles. Oscar had found a supplier for special safety candles that burned inside a transdurium sphere, with a carefully regulated oxygen supply, and he assured me that they would work as well as traditional wax candles burning in the open air.

“We can do this. You can do this.”

“I hope so,” I said. “I’m scared.”

“I’ll be right here with you.” He squeezed my hand, and Peter looked away and coughed.

“Let’s do it.”

We took our positions, and Peter and Oscar began chanting. At the right moment I joined in, but soon I heard my voice saying things I hadn’t intended to say, and watched my body stand up and stretch.

“Oh, that feels good!”

“Leandra Wu?” Oscar asked.

“Yes... who are you? And where did Tomas go?”

“Who’s Tomas?” Peter asked, but Oscar waved him to silence, and said:

“I’m sorry, Ms. Wu, but you’ve been dead for several days. You’re temporarily possessing the body of my... friend, Kiera Yossarian. It will only last a few minutes. Can you tell me what is the last thing you remember...?”

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As I took off my helmet, I stood up and stretched before taking off the gloves. “That was kind of weird.”

“But we’ve almost got it beaten,” Lionel said. “The sèance recording isn’t admissible in court, but now that we know who did it, we’ll find the mundane evidence we need next session. Can you play tomorrow?”

“Probably.”

“It’s a good thing we had you with us,” Vic said. “Finding a female NPC to work the possession spell with might have been tricky.”

“I’m glad you were with me,” I said. “What time is it...? Oh, I’d better get home. As soon as I visit the little girls' room.”

Vic drove me home a few minutes later. We talked about the biography of Thucydides West he’d loaned me, which I’d read about a third of here and there between chunks of schoolwork. As he pulled into my driveway, I hoped he’d take my hand and squeeze it the way he’d done during the game... but it was too soon, really.

“See you tomorrow,” I said. “Want to come in for a minute?”

“I’d better get home,” he said. “Tell Mildred I said hi.”

When I went in, Mom, Dad, Uncle Jack and Mildred were watching A Town of their Own.

“Good evening, Emily,” Dad said. “A package arrived for you today — it was delivered not long after you left.”

“Oh,” I said, thinking I knew what it was. “Where is it?”

“I put it on your desk.”

Moments later I found the package and got out my scissors to open it.

“What is it?” Mildred asked, having followed me upstairs.

“What are they,” I amended, pulling out the styrofoam inset to reveal the prosthetic breasts I’d ordered, and several tubes of the adhesive I’d use to attach them and the solvent to remove them.

“Oh... They look bigger than the ones you’ve been using.”

“Maybe they are.” I’d tried to order them about the same size as the bags of birdseed Mom had made for me — it would attract comment if I suddenly showed up for school the next day with larger breasts. Maybe I should wait until after the Thanksgiving break to wear them to school?

“And I’m not sure they’re quite the right color, either... they’re pretty close, though.”

“I’ll hold them up to me and see if they’re close enough. If not, I’ll just return and exchange them. Maybe there was something wrong with the reference photo I sent them...”

I took off my blouse and bra, and Mildred blinked and shook her head. “That’s so weird.”

“...What?”

“I could see your breasts, and then a moment after you unfastened your bra they just turned into bags of birdseed.”

“Let’s see how these things look,” I said, and held the forms up to my chest without adhesive. I frowned; no, they were a little lighter than the skin around them.

“Neat,” Mildred said. “The color suddenly changed to match when you touched them to your chest, and the seams disappeared... it’s like they’re part of you.”

“Useful trick,” I said, “but I still won’t be able to wear low-cut dresses without the wrong color showing in the mirror... Maybe I should exchange them?”

“Try the mirror,” she said. “You got your Adam’s apple to disappear, maybe you can make them match in the mirror too?”

We tested, and after I concentrated for a few moments on how I wanted to look, she verified that they were the right color in the mirror. I set them down on the bed again, flinching at the sight of my flat chest, and opened a tube of adhesive. Mildred helped me spread it on evenly, and get the breasts centered correctly over my creepy-wrong male nipples. Then I got out a clean bra and put it on, and put my blouse back on.

“How do I look now?”

“Great,” she said. “Definitely a little bigger, but maybe not so much that everybody will notice.”

“Yeah, the bra straps feel a little tight. I’ll need to buy new ones when we go shopping Friday.”

“And some new dresses to show those things off!”

“If you help me pick them out,” I said. “Thanks for helping me with this.”

“Anytime, sis.”

---

Tuesday morning when I went down to breakfast, Mom looked at me carefully and said: “Are you wearing your new prostheses?”

“Yes... do they look okay?”

“Yes. I was going to ask if you wanted my help with them — sorry, I meant to help you with it last night, but...”

“Mildred helped me get them on, and test how my trick works with them. I’m going to need some new bras, though; they’re a little bigger than what we were using before.”

“I thought so.”

Uncle Jack, who was sitting at the kitchen table doing some translation work on his tablet, contrived to look so busy that he didn’t hear us, but he blushed just enough that I think he probably did.

When Dad and Mildred came downstairs, I told them that Rob’s dad had offered to help with my bureaucratic hassles. “He said he owes us a favor because Grandpa helped him with something once.”

“What is his father’s name?” Dad asked.

I checked the message Rob had sent me. “William Dyer, of Kinkaid, Ramirez and Dyer.”

“I once had some dealings with Israel Ramirez,” Dad said, “but I am not familiar with William Dyer. Presumably this incident he refers to happened when your grandfather was on the city council... If this William is near my age, that would have been not long after he graduated from law school.”

Once I got used to the feel of the new breast-forms and the adhesive, I felt noticeably better about myself; glancing down at the way my blouse outlined them, they looked more real and natural than the bags of birdseed. The slight discomfort where the too-tight bra straps were digging into my back and shoulders didn’t bother me as much as my occasional glances at myself reassured me.

I knew I didn’t look that much different to other people — my trick had made my old bags of birdseed, and even empty bra cups, look like normal breasts, and these weren’t so much bigger that everyone would notice. If anybody noticed on the bus or in homeroom, they didn’t make it obvious by staring at me or commenting; of course even now more than half the other girls had something more to catch boys' eyes than I had, and that’s where their attention mostly seemed to linger. But I didn’t mind; there was only one boy whose attention I wanted to catch, and I was pretty sure I already had it.

Indeed, when I sat down in Physics, and Vic walked in a few moments later, I saw that he was paying as much attention to me as to Ms. Chen, for the first few minutes of class. After class, he asked me: “...Did you do something different?” He glanced at my chest again for a moment before manfully dragging his eyes back up to meet mine.

“Yes, but I don’t want to talk about it here. I’ll explain later.”

I sat with Sarah, Olive and Morgan during lunch; we talked about our Thanksgiving plans and the date Olive had planned with Karl.

“Has Vic asked you out yet?” Morgan wanted to know. “You told him about breaking up with Rob, right?”

“I told him, and he was pretty pleased about it. But no, he hasn’t asked me out. I’ll give him some more time; I don’t really know what’s going on. I want to stay friends with him more than I want to date him, and maybe I was misreading him... he might just be protective of me, not jealous of Rob.”

Just before Mandarin, Rob asked me: “You haven’t talked to my dad yet, have you? I think you should, he can probably help.”

“I told you I was going to wait a day, and let you tell him about us first, if you want.”

“I won’t. Not until you’ve got your problem sorted out, and maybe not for a while after that... You might change your mind.”

I felt simultaneously grateful and a little uneasy. “Girls can do that,” I said, “but... don’t wait for me.”

On the bus on the way home, I pulled up the information I’d saved on my tablet about the drug the Medical Bureau hadn’t approved yet, and the copies Mom had forwarded me of her messages from Dr. Underwood, Dr. Park and the pharmacist. Then I called Rob’s dad.

“Kinkaid, Ramirez and Dyer; how may I help you?”

“This is Emily Harper... I’d like to talk to William Dyer if he’s not busy.”

“Just a few moments...”

I waited, and re-read those messages. A little later a man’s voice said: “Hello, this is William Dyer.”

“Hi. I’m Emily Harper — your son Rob said I should call you —”

“Yes, I remember. He said you’re having trouble getting the Medical Bureau to approve of some medicine your doctor thinks you need?”

“Yes. I’ve got the information here, I could forward you the messages from the doctors and pharmacist if you give me your net address.”

“Please do that.” He gave me his address, and I started forwarding the messages. “Um, Rob said you’d do this free of charge because you owed my grandpa a favor...?”

“Yes, I do, and I will. Another question — are you eighteen yet?”

“No, I turned seventeen in August.”

“Then I’ll need to speak with a parent or legal guardian before I start working on this. Can you have them call me?”

“Sure. I’ll message them now.”

“Thank you. I’ll get to work as soon as they authorize me to; hopefully we’ll get you what you need soon.”

I sent a message to Mom and Dad telling them what Mr. Dyer had said, and did Calculus homework until I got home, and for a few minutes afterward. Mildred had messaged me earlier saying she had gone with Uncle Jack to pick up Tim at the airport, and Mom and Dad weren’t home from work yet, so I was alone. Then Vic came over to pick me up, and we headed over to Lionel’s house.

“Have you read any more of that biography of Thucydides West?” he asked.

“I got as far as where he decided to leave college and go to police academy.”

“You’re almost to the best part, then — the things he’s most famous for.”

“I hope I can finish it during the Thanksgiving break... I think I’m going to finish my homework for the break tonight or tomorrow morning, and then I can read other stuff.” And do a final draft of my Modern History term paper, maybe.

He glanced aside at me. “So your Twist made you obsess more over schoolwork, but... you can still hang out and game with us?”

“Yeah. It’s like, doing schoolwork — or reading other nonfiction — is what I naturally turn toward whenever I don’t have anything else to do, but if you or Morgan or somebody invites to me to come do stuff with you, that makes it easy to resist the schoolwork obsession for a little while.”

“So, not as bad an obsession as some.”

“No. Really it could be a lot worse.” It occurred to me to wonder if I might have some other, subtler compulsion or obsession — something about being femininely sociable — that was counteracting the schoolwork obsession; how could I tell?

When we got to Lionel’s house, he was eager to get started with the game, and we began almost before Vic or I had a chance to eat anything.

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I just posted a list of story ideas I'm thinking of writing next. Please take a look and comment.