This is just venting, but I feel the need to put it out there so I can get rid of it. This just happens to be the venue I'm in this morning.

Basically I messed up last night and got hurt.

There was this birthday party I attended. I'm not big on parties. Most of the time I'm a wallflower. I'm not the best at socializing. This is probably rooted in my autism. I try anyway. I did not consume any alcohol. I'm on medication right now where a single drink has the effect of 4+ drinks for effect. No alcohol for me.

A few things occurred.

I was dressed down by the hostess in front of half the party for using a non disposable dish to cook part of the meal. She was upset, and started in on how her goal was to prevent herself from having to do dishes. I stood there like a deer in headlights not knowing what to say or do. She demanded I clean up my mess I was making when I was done. A few others got in on it giving her words of support. She then saw that the kitchen sink had several dishes and she lamented on how her effort was already a failure and there were dishes and kitchenware she'd have to clean up. Mind you these dishes had been there since I arrived so I have no idea where they came from or who made the mess. Also, I'm not a five year old. I'm thirty-three. I know how to clean up after myself. I know how to take care of my work area. Needless to say, my anxiety was through the roof.

I finished what I was doing, cleaned up, and retreated downstairs to the basement and talked with a friend. He asked me what I had been writing earlier and I told him it was work on the next chapter of MOTU. Intrigued he asked me about it and I explained how the mechanics of the universe worked. The hostess came down and made it awkward, so my friend and I went upstairs and talked with others. My anxiety, already skyrocketing from the kitchen incident, was just staying up there now with all the people and noise.

I did what I could to calm down, such as reading the latest chapter of Death's Own Daughter, and going off by myself and working on the latest chapter of MOTU and Kregg's Story. None of it worked.

I decided to leave which is a problem I have. I was so adverse to interaction at this point that having to say good bye was too much for me to handle. A moment appeared and I managed to let the one friend, I had told about Hyperverse/MOTU, know I was leaving and I just left.

It was a few minutes after midnight. I was free. Already my anxiety had dropped.

It was dark out. I started a jog to my car. The friends who hosted the party live next to their grandmother and I had parked my car on the street next to the grandmother's house. I made it over the side lawn and was about to come onto the grandmother's driveway when my knee gave out and I went down to the ground on the concrete.

Through the pain I managed to get up and hobble to my car. My knee was on fire. I managed to start driving and make it to a gas station for gas. In good light there, I could see several spots of blood and pulling my pants leg up, I could see two large scrapes and swelling. Once home, I iced and wrapped it. Had stability problems with my knee wanting to go jello on me. Popped 800mg of ibuprofen and attempted to sleep. That was fun. I kept on waking up as I'd turn over and stop in pain.

This morning my knee aches. I can't bend it fully without the pain spiking. I've already torn the meniscus in it and had surgery. It's more stable but I don't know.

So what's my take on this. No more parties. I can't do this anymore. And I need some strength training on my knee for what's left that's intact.

And the best thing of it all... Someone else had used more dishes after I cleaned up what I had done, and left it out in the same area I worked in as a mess.

So now I'm going to hunt down more ibuprofen and ice packs. I hope to have another chapter of Kregg's story finished today. Maybe the next for MOTU, QI, and FS as well.

Thanks for letting me vent.