This is based off of a dream I needed to get onto paper. Most of this came out my hyperactive and not very restful imagination at night.
As I came back from the school cafeteria to the pyramid, I was thinking to myself. Not about the puzzles, but about my life. What in the world was I going to do?
Perhaps I should explain. My name is John. An average name for an average guy. I am 18. The school I go to is an academy. To the outside world it is just a mental asylum, but in reality it is a huge school of the, well, unordinary. The only kids that are accepted have some sort of unique ability that make them different. They have ways of detecting magic on you when you are born so that you aren't a Superhero to the ordinary world. We are taught Math, and Science, and History and all that good stuff, but each student, when they find their ability, gets an additional period to nurture their ability for good use so that they don't die at the age of twenty. I have a problem. I don't know my ability.
You see, the gods have a way of being mean. They give these abilities to certain people, hoping that they will turn out for the better and not go power mad. However, very few actually can get the approval of the gods. Those that don't get killed. That's why we have such a small population. I come from a very strong and powerful line of good magicians, and, by nature, I should be a strong and good magician. But I'm not. And that leads me to believe they have made a mistake in inviting me to this school. They insist that the magic detectors never fail, but I have no proof that this is the case. I have dreamt and willed myself to reveal my own ability, but to no avail.
But today was different. I turned 18 today. I'm the only person in the last 50 years under twenty to take this walk. It's the walk to the pyramid. The pyramid is the home to the gods, and, although they live like normal magicians, (Most of the time),their power is greatest there. And so people are barred from there except for two occasions. One: A person has just turned twenty and it is their time to be evaluated, or Two: A person has turned eighteen with no sign of a magical ability. In the pyramid are six ancient puzzles. They were created at the beginning of time along with the gods. They appear different to all, but only the gods can see their true forms. The way you arrange them will reveal to them your ability, and therefor can activate it. But they have a very limited amount of uses, and so special precautions must be made.
So as I exit the cafeteria, and after I think about my life, then I start to worry. What if my ability sucks? What if i can make a shadow appear? That would suck. No good use. Or what if my ability was dangerous, and the Gods would have to kill me? That would suck worse. Or what if I didn't even have an ability?
All these things plus more swam through my mind as time seemed to go slower during the long walk.
When I finally got there, I couldn't open the door. Mentally, I was unprepared to see every single god at once. I've heard stories of people breaking down from the pressure. I've also heard stories of people with no abilities. They always die in the end. Too much knowledge that needs to be preserved. Someone with no powers would get jealous and tell the whole world.
Then when I finally was able to work up the courage to touch the door and try to open it, I still couldn't. Physically. It was too heavy and old. Then, after I'd given up, all of a sudden the door opened smoothly on it's own.
Creepy.
I nervously stepped inside. It was a hallway. It was very dusty and there was a smell of failure around it. Many people had failed and their lives had ended. At the end of the hall was another door, closed again. There was a sign on it. I walked down to it. It said:
"Your audience with the Divine Gods is very appreciated. This door will open when we are ready."
And so I waited. And by my internal clock I was there for about 5 hours. But I was very nervous. And finally, after 10 forevers, the door opened.
I had no idea what to expect, but it certainly wasn't what it really was. The Gods were a bunch of young people who all had their own very different looks. The one who really caught my eye was Mia, Goddess of hopes and dreams. She had on all this flamboyant purple and pink clothes and her hair was purple and she just seemed to be that over the top optimistic person that you'd usually find at parties. On the other side of the area, and her twin and complete opposite, was Maria, the goddess of failure and jealousy. She was dressed in all grey and she looked like the saddest person ever to walk the face of the earth, which she probably was. They sat next to the central figure, The God of Matter and the most powerful person in the world, The Almighty Samuel. He radiated power. But he looked easily approachable and someone nice to talk to. But you could see that you didn't want him as your enemy. You could see a cold hatred of his enemies that he has yet to seek out and a will to destroy the unwanted. I shivered.
"Welcome, Johnathon.", he said. "You are about to find your magical ability. You will be evaluated in two years on your ability. Your ability is your life's work, to use it only for good and to help others in need."
A set of ancient puzzles that looked new even though they were 14 billion years old appeared on a table in front of me. They looked quite easy, like the little kids puzzles you get in preschool. They each had different symbols on them that I assume were symbols of each of the gods. There were 10 of them.
"Johnathon," Samuel said. I hated that. I hate it when people say my full name. "Solve the puzzles. Take as much time as you need. Solve in any order."
And so I did. And they were quite easy. I started with the one that looked the hardest, which was a sorta purple and more cheerful colors. And while I was solving the puzzles, all the Gods were whispering to themselves, urgently. I tried to make out some form of speech, but they were speaking in some other language I couldn't understand. When I was done with the ten, I looked up. They were all sitting there in amazement. I blinked. To see someone of great power in amazement is not something to be taken lightly.
"Johnathon... it seems that you are a special case. You will need to wait until tomorrow to find your ability. Be here in the same time, tomorrow. Please leave, now."
"But... What do you mean? Special? Do I not have an ability? Please tell me something!"
"Please leave, NOW." I left very quickly out the now open entrance.
Special? Like mentally disabled? But I'm not, am I? These questions plus a thousand others ran through my mind, searching for answers.
And immediately, when I came back to the dorms, I was bombarded by a million questions from my classmates.
"Didja find it?"
"What was it?"
"Can you show it to us?"
"What were the Gods like?"
I pushed all these questions off and refused to answer. When I got back to the boys dorms area, there were already hushed whispers and rumors going around that I didn't have an ability. When I entered my dorm, I found my dorm mate, Jason, already sitting on his bed, waiting for me. OK, I lied a little bit when I said I was a loner, me and Jason get along well enough, and to the outsider we were friends.
"Well? What happened?"
And so I explained about the pyramid and the Gods and the puzzles and my 'Special' case.
"God, what? They didn't even tell you your ability? That's outrageous. They always do. The history books said the puzzles never fail! They're magical!"
"I tried to get information, but Samuel kinda made me leave before I could say anything."
"What!? Oh gods, what in the world are you going to do!"
And we deliberated over this for the next hour and the best explanation was just to wait until tomorrow.
I woke up in a cold sweat. I had been dreaming about what the gods could do to me. The horrors were unimaginable. I ate breakfast like a machine. I sat through all my classes willing time to go faster. It would be nice if teachers had anything interesting to take my mind off things. I thought about the game later tonight.
Right, I forgot to mention, there's this big event tonight. It is called the Magician's battle and it is fought between the most revered and powerful magicians in the world. They compete in a large arena to determine the strongest wizard or witch. Kinda like a Magician's World Cup.
I sat down to eat lunch.
"So lets see it! What is your goddamn ability!"
I nearly choked. The voice was feminine. My life has been the definition of a nobody. No girl has ever looked at me, let alone talked to be. I responded:
"Uh...ah...I don't know..."
Goddamn my nervous self.
"What do you mean, 'I don't know'? The gods told you yesterday." I recognized her as Sierra.
"Umm...no they didn't. The gods didn't tell me anything."
"WHAT? I knew it! He has no ability!"
And she and her friends walked away jeering taunts and laughing at me, my morale lower than ever.
After another boring P.E. and science classes, I nervously made my way towards the now open pyramid. The door was open already. I cautiously made my way inside. I nervously made my way inside the throne room. Samuel spoke as I entered and walked to the center of the room.
"Johnathon, you have a very rare gift." He paused a moment before continuing. "No one in the last millennium has has this ability."
I was relieved and nervous at the same time. I wasn't going to die!
"Johnathon, you have been born without a magical ability when you were meant to be born with one. As a result, you possess raw magic. This means that you can activate it with the help of one of us, the gods. Your ability will be determined by a link to the inner soul of the planet Earth, and what it is in most in need of. This means you could become someone who preserves nature, which is quite likely. It is all based on Mother Earth's needs, as Mother Earth controls magic. However, there is a second option. If one god is willing to sponsor you, we can make you into someone that is vital to all the magic population. We can make you into the protector of the Land of Zath. The protector emits a magical force that prevents non magical minds from perceiving the Land of Zath as it really is. I am the current protector. Now, there are two reasons I want you to have this position. One is that it is a position of great danger, as if you give it up to someone non magical, than the non magical population will perceive Zath and we won't. There are many people who would like that to happen in the non magical world, and I would like them dead. Also, me having this ability means I am in great danger, and there are things that can be done to me that would force me to give the position to the enemy. You have excess magic, making you harder to kill by normal means. Secondly is that you would have a protective ability and it would ensure you immortality if you don't die of wound. In other words, you would have eternal youth and be immune to sickness as long as you remain the protector. Remember that one god needs to sponsor you for this to happen. I do not have enough trust in you to do this, but others may feel differently. Also, sponsoring involves mental connection, and because you are mortal it may have drastic effects."
I took this all in slowly. Mother Earth or the protector? Protector sounded a lot better to me. But I needed a god to sponsor me! I doubt I could achieve that. And drastic effects? Was I willing to take the chance?
"I will give you time to think. One week at maximum. When you have made your decision see us here. We will be waiting. You are dismissed."
I left with the world on my soldiers. I had to make this decision in a week! I have no idea what I should do. Risk these drastic changes? Be Mother Earth's will? I left the thought later.
At last, I thought to myself. Something to ease my mind.
Jason and I were packing our money and tickets into our pockets as we hurried out the front door to get to the game. I had no idea who to root for when we got there, but Adams was the favorite, so I decided to go with him. When we got there, we sat in the second seating area next to all the other 18 year old guys.
The game was great for Adams. He knocked out 5 other magicians before coming to someone of more equal power, where he still triumphed.
All of a sudden a voice spoke over the loud clamor or the audience. It wasn't speaking loudly, but I could still hear it clear as day. I turned to see Mia, the Goddess of hopes and dreams standing there. Time stopped around us, literally.
"He's quite the competitive magician, isn't he?"
"Mia?" I asked. "What in the world are you doing here? You're supposed to be in the pyramid!"
"I came to let you know that when you solved the puzzles, you did mine first. Very few people do that. Also, I can tell how much you hope to become the protector."
"How did you know that?", I said forgetting she was the Goddess of hopes.
"It's in my blood to know that. Also, I like you. You're not arrogant or mean when someone insults you or gives you a hard time. That incident with Sierra proves it. Therefore, I am willing to sponsor you."
"Seriously? Umm, yeah! Sure. I'll accept the role of the protector."
"You should put some serious consideration into this."
"I already did. I said that if I could get a sponsor I would do it. And so... could you do it now?"
"The sponsorship will be complete by when you wake up tomorrow."
"Wait, but what about the drastic changes!"
But she was gone and I was talking to a handrail.
Thanks,
TheColorOrange
Comments
Great start
Good setting, openings for many plot lines. Fluid use of language with an apparently instinctive sense of story flow. Hope you find a good mentor. You have talent and I want more of this story.
Good Luck,
Joani
Just keep doing what you're doing
Hi there, welcome to Bigcloset.
Mr. Orange... can I call you TheColor :-) Loved your story. I don't see why you think you need help. .. you're doing fine on your own.
Feedback
I've gotten 3 more votes of feedback than I thought I would already! I'm quickly learning that this community is probably the best community I've ever joined. Thanks for the feedback, I'll try to incorporate as much improvements as possible into the next chapter, which will most likely be up within the next week.
Thanks,
TheColorOrange
I forth that.
Great story so far. You've introduced us to the main character, given us a taste of their world and created some rather good dramatic tension. The dialog flows well and the only blemish I stumbled was "the world on my soldiers". Isn't autocorrect fun.
Looking forward to the next part.
Cheers, kiwi
I like this so far.
It seems like an original take on a magical world, a bit of Xanth (though luckily not TOO much,) with a healthy dose of your own imagination.
I'm looking forward to seeing how you take this.
Melanie E.