Have I told you lately how much so many of you mean to me?
When I started this nearly fifteen years ago, I did it as something to distract me from things that were going on in my life. I kept it going, with one two year vacation, because of intangible rewards until I finally had to start asking for some financial help because I had become unemployed and unable to look for work outside the house. Enough of you stepped up financially that even though the amount I have had to ask for has increased over the years, it keeps coming in.
And that is such a small part of what this site means to me. Many of my friends are here, some of my new business partners, as we try to create something to keep This Thing of Ours going, perhaps even after all of us are gone.
But it is the caring and the friendship and, to use a four-letter word, the love that means the most to me.
Today was the birthday of Jeanne, the woman I shared my life with for 23 years. She died ten years ago. A lot of what I've done here since then has been because of the memory she gave me of what it meant to be loved. I wanted to create a place where there might be some chance of someone feeling a bit of Jeanne's loving and caring soul coming through some of the things I do.
People who know me well know that I am not the calm, quiet, careful, moderate person that Erin Halfelven projects on this site. I am loud, I have a temper, I can be crude and rude and disrespectful and I have an ego that is big enough to get in my way frequently. My Three Rules are as much to remind me of how to act as to keep the peace around here.
But I want to thank you, all of you, even the ones who may not like me and I may not like very much in return, all of you -- I want to thank you for helping me keep the memory of Jeanne's love alive. I want to thank you for being here and being who you are, all of you. You mean a lot to me and some of you are especial dear friends but this isn't just for them.
It's for all of us. It's a Big Closet because we need it to hold all the love.
Hugs,
Joyce Melton
(aka Erin Halfelven)
Comments
I hope...
I hope that in creating and maintaining this website, that you have found a measure of peace, since the loss of your loved one.
On that note, I found this to be a very classy website. I hope you continue it.
Thank you
I will simply say that without BIG CLOSET, Tanya Allan would not have become what she is.... so, simply, thanks.
Tanya
There's no such thing as bad weather, just the wrong clothes!
Smart Remark, That !
That was a very clever comment, Tanya. The "wrong" clothes remark, among a group of people who like to read about people who do it and are interested in wearing clothes that signal some unconventionality with regard to their perception of gender or sexual attraction, can mean much more than it would to mere ordinary humans.
I mean this in a positive, appreciative, sense, of course, being very much an unordinary person, perhaps not just human at all. As I told my Asperger grandchild recently, A. is no longer regarded as a mental condition, but more as the next step in hominid evolution ! (I escaped the label by the simple strategy of being born before Dr A invented it). Without any such labels and with a well-developed instinct for self-preservation I hid among the masses of displaced children mass evacuations following being dug from the ruins of our bombed-out home in London. It was easy to pick up the odd local accents to blend in better, and being moved about every few months to encounter yet another new funny accent kept me on my toes. The local kids never liked it much when one was ahead of them with reading and learning everything, but then, help with homework made one less unpopular, so one survived...
Briar
Erin...
Thank you.
Thank you for this wonderful place that gives me hope and inspiration.
Thank you for this little haven where I can indulge in shameless wish-fulfillment.
Thank you for helping me with technical questions.
Thank you for giving me a place where I can post my poor story attempts with little fear.
So, here's a big hug for you and your Jeanne.
*Big Hug!*
~And so it goes...
Your literary baby
As a relative newcomer to BC I'm only learning the history piecemeal but what I've read in the stories and comments around the stories makes me certain that you've created something to be proud of
Rhona McCloud
A caring place,
I have quite a few people here I consider good friends. Some of them I have met in real life, which is cool.
I've also done quite a bit of personal growth on this site.
Thank you.
really that long
Has it really been 10 years. Wow. I remember that day. I remember where I was, because how could I forget that. I remember how when everyone turned there back on me, there was a weekly lifeline I could call to know that there was something waiting for me on the other side. 10 years seems like a lifetime ago. So much has changed, perhaps everything has changed except that you are still my friend.
Katie Leone (Katie-Leone.com)
Writing is what you do when you put pen to paper, being an author is what you do when you bring words to life
We love you, Erin.
you're awesome, and dont you dare forget it!
It's been almost
eight years since I wandered into your so very welcoming closet. I was so very lost and yet everyone made me welcome. As has been said before in helping others we help ourselves. You've most certainly have helped me and uncounted others.
Thank you!
Biggest of huggles!
GRover
Erin...
Without BC I'm sure I speak for many of us when I say that the web would be a far less friendly place.
When I've been depressed, the community here has been there to help pull me out of it.
When I've been happy they've been there to share my joy.
When I've been scared, they've been there to comfort me.
BC is our family. You've created what, I think, is one of the best, most tightly knit and supportive communities the web has ever seen, and the world as a whole would be lesser without you and everything you've given us.
Thank you. A million times, thank you.
We love you.
Melanie E.
The pleasure?
...is absolutely all mine. Thank you!
Love, Andrea Lena
With grateful thanks ...
For whatever personal reasons you had when you started the website, I hope you found peace and joy in what you've accomplished. BCTS is a living, growing entity with real people sharing their lives and forming a community--and hopefully finding peace and joy, as well.
Anyone can create a website, but you created a family!
Karin
My opinion
I think was expressed most clearly when I passed comment on a thread worrying about Kindle authors being 'required' by Amazon to delete their stories from everywhere except their site. I pointed out the welcome I received, the space I was given to try out my writing skills, the cathartic results of being allowed to get a lot of angst, pain and other crap out of me and onto the page... all of that is true. It is still true today. Real life may have slowed my output down but it has also slowed of necessity, as keeping timelines consistent is actually hard work.
There are people here I share personal e-mails with, people I speak to on the phone, one I may be staying with in a few weeks depending on other issues. I have found this to be one of three groups that has lifted me out of the depression and despair.
Enough said.
Love
This website means a lot to me. You mean a lot to me. Without you and this site, my existence would be pretty dull. Not only was I inspired to write, I met a lot of friends here. I'm grateful for you all.
Thanks and loving hugs.
- Terry
BC has helped me chip away at the wall.
There are two sides to Beverly.
Beverly One is the wild, flamboyant, in-yer-face bitch who demonstrates her contempt for most things conventional by behaving outrageously and deliberately setting out to shock and even offend those who react negatively to Beverly one's whole aura.
Beverly two is the moderately literate activist who participates in LGBT politics here in Wales and who also endeavours to help her sisters, usually with practical assistance concerning housing and/or philanthropical help. (Yes, I actually help tee-kids find their feet and make their way; WITHOUT any ulterior motive!!!)
Strangely I do it out of a sort of perverse cynicism for in my head I am saying to those kids.
"There you bitches! Not every old boiler is looking to screw you so just remember that and think twice!"
I know the thought line is a bizarre one but it works for me.
These two sides of Beverly sometimes want to overlap and BC provides a vehicle to enable that journey. My mediocre ramblings on BC helps Beverly to reconcile her own dichotomies within her head and within her well walled, well protected heart.
The wall that Beverly long ago erected around that part of her is the wall that BC is helping to lower. It's almost making me human.
That Erin, is what BC has done for this wrong-headed bitch so be proud of your achievement.
P.S.
There is a third side to this weird individual but it's got a male persona and a male name. It's a hard working, hard headed, hard bitten, moderately successful but tight fisted bastard ... except that he's got a weakness for Beverly and indulges her.
Beverly, being the sneaky bitch she is, abuses his generosity but not always on her own behalf. (Re above.)
Thanks for BC Erin, it's a monument to your effort and a good monument to boot.