Set in the same multiverse as 'You Said Seven'.
As if that makes a hell of a lot of difference to you.

“Go on,” they said. “Faint heart never won fair lady.”

“Yeah, and if she says no there’s plenty more fish in the sea.”

“Well aye. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.”

I took another sip from my pint, then nodded my head. It had worked for them. It had worked for millions of people down the ages. Why should I be any different?

“I suppose you’re right,” I said.

I waited for the bar to empty, then walked over to the counter.

I said my piece. I put on my brightest smile. I recited the slickest lines my fellow drinkers had taught me.

I got my answer.

It was exactly what I’d expected.

I walked the half a mile to the sea front. I sang a cheerful song. I was exuberant.

Such are our defence mechanisms.

I bought chicken curry and chips from the Chinese takeaway next to the Marine Hotel. I took it to the sand dunes on the other side of the putting green and ate what I could in silence. Above me, the stars shone with their usual ineptitude.

On the way home I paused to study the blackness that represented the vast distances between them. This was reality, I thought. To all intents and purposes the universe consists of nothing.

Nothing at all.

I looked up at the darkness.

“Come on, then!” I yelled. “Show yourself, you fucking coward! Tell us what this is all about! Or are you too scared? Yeah, I bet you are. Too scared to admit that you’re just like us, alone in a meaningless universe. You sad fucking bastard!”

I walked on, daring the heavenly thunderbolts to strike.

“But I forgot,” I laughed. “You’re not really there, are you? I’m talking to my fucking self. I might be wrong, of course. If I am, then do one thing for me. Let’s see just how omnipotent you are. Turn me into a woman. I won’t mind. At least I’ll have a decent chance of getting a fucking shag!”

The Leyland Princess was parked outside the shopping parade on Elizabeth Way. The engine was running, and the keys were in the ignition.
Nor was there much that was familiar about the face staring back at me from the mirror above the passenger seat.

“Okay,” I said. “Now you’ve answered that particular prayer, can I trust you won’t get me done for drink driving?”

I was speeding down the M1 well before midnight.