Of Heroes And Villains

In which a superhero meets his match, masks are uncovered and a mad scientist just tries to get some mad science-ing done without getting distracted by the antics of her magical minion.

Fanart by the talented Ian Samson, creator of City of Reality and artist of The Wotch


Shade woke up aching and panting.

One hand was on his breast, squeezing, while the other was between his legs, slim fingers wrapped around his stiff cock. He shuddered at the sensation. His entire body was burning, every inch of skin sizzling with heat, responding to the slightest touch. It was different. He had never felt anything like this before; arousal used to be concentrated just in his groin and now it was everywhere, clawing at his insides with need.

His insides.

There was an ache there, something hollow, something begging to be filled.

Penetration, he realized dimly, some part of him with delight, the other with horror. This body was craving penetration.

He moaned, his mind filling with images of Diane and her wonderfully skilled fingers. She would tease him while he moaned and writhed, as was her way, taking a long time to get him worked up until he was an incoherent mess. And then she would push her fingers into his slick pussy, and he would be so wet for her…

Kara came harder than he ever had in his life.

And then the shame hit him. He let go off his – still hard – dick, squeezing his eyes shut. Letting go off his breasts was even harder.

He couldn’t stop thinking about her. For all that he was done with her, his brain and body conspired against him, constantly throwing images of her at him.

He hated her for that.

But not nearly as much as he hated himself for missing her.


***


In the cold shower he noticed that his dick was smaller than it had been yesterday. He wasn’t about to take out a ruler, but he was fairly certain it was at least an inch.

He gritted his teeth. He’d hoped staying away from her would halt the transformation until he figured out what to do, but apparently it was well underway, with or without her.


***


Shade stood atop a rooftop, gazing down at the villain currently ineptly trying to rampage.

Fusion Flare, Threat Level 3.

Unlike Dionaea, that low rating did not stem from being new. No, Fusion had a long and well-established history of failing epically at just about everything he set out to do.

If Shade couldn’t defeat him, he might as well throw himself off a cliff now.

Shade wasn’t wearing much in ways of costume. In fact, he was wearing his normal, overtly large yet too tight civilian clothes; the only part that made it a costume was that he was also wearing his black domino mask.

He could have gotten something better fitting, but the thought of shopping for his new female body made him slightly nauseous. Perhaps tomorrow, but he couldn’t face it today. He wasn’t even wearing a bra – the ones he owned were too small, and not fit for physical exertion anyway. Instead, he’d gone to his medicine cabinet and bandaged his chest, binding his breasts as tightly as possible. It had taken a few tries before it felt remotely comfortable.

Newbie heroes often didn’t have the means to create a costume by themselves, so it was not unusual to see them in civilian clothes early in their career. Hell, some less traditional heroes eschewed capes entirely. Shade would just pretend to be one of them.

He silently dropped from the roof, acrobatically leaping from wall to wall until he landed in the alley with a low crouch, perfectly balanced.

There would be no teleporting. His shadows were too distinctive.

He’d have to rely entirely on his skill. And this weak, weak body of his.

Shade adjusted the metal bracelets on his wrists. Hidden blades. Proper steel ones. His plasma blades were likewise too well-known.

Invisible, he slipped through the shadows until he was in earshot of Fusion. Then he dropped his shadows. He wanted this to be a battle, not a one-hit-KO from sneak attack.

“…yes, just fill the bags and nobody has to get hur– holy shit, where did you come from?”

Shade did not answer. He just lunged.

He crouched low, sweeping his leg to trip Fusion. The brightly costumed man yelled, flailing his arms wildly. There was the low hum of an energy beam being charged, and then a bright blue ray shot from his palms, arcing in a cone-form in Shade’s general direction.

Shade dodged. Easily.

And then his foot connected with the villain’s ribcage, and a very satisfying crack filled the air.

It was over before it had truly begun.

And Shade smiled.

True, defeating Fusion Flare was like winning a medal in a race where they were handed out like candy for participation, but it soothed his grievously wounded pride anyway.

So of course the universe couldn’t let him have his moment.

“Impressive!” bellowed a booming voice. It was an octave lower than Shade was used to hearing it.

Oh no.

The Captain was striding toward him with a big smile.

“I don’t think I’ve seen you around before. It’s always good to see a new generation of heroes rise. Allow me to introduce myself, I am Captain Patriot.” He preened, puffing his chest in Heroic Pose Number Two.

Even in a new body, was he forever doomed to attracting the idiot’s attention?

“Just doing my job,” Shade mumbled under his breath and turned away, quickly striding away to the alley, away from the crowd that had gathered. The Captain trailed after him, once again living up to Shade’s image of him as an overeager puppy.

“What’s your name?”

Shade didn’t answer.

“Ms.?”

Shade swayed a little, breaking his stride at being addressed as a woman. No. That was not happiness bubbling up inside of him.

“Haven’t chosen a name,” he said quickly, just to get the Captain off his back.

“Oh, so you are new!”

And then big strong arms came down on his shoulders, the Captain squeezing him to his side.

Why did the universe hate him? Why? He didn’t deserve the shit he had to put up with.

“Well, let me tell you, you have chosen a wonderful and deeply fulfilling career. I’ve trained many new heroes, you know.” And then he looked at Shade in what could only be described as a smolder.

Shade froze.

No.

“Of course, not many new heroes look as gorgeous as you, if you don’t mind me saying.” And then his gaze briefly dropped to Shade’s generous new endowment.

Silence reigned.

There were no words.

Nothing in life had prepared Shade for this. Nothing.

“So, how about I buy you a drink and share some tips and tricks of the trade?”

“I used to be a guy!” He blurted it out before he knew what he was saying; he just really wanted the Captain to shut up.

The hero blinked, taken aback.

“Oh.”

There was a beat of silence, and he could see the wheels behind his eyes turning as the Captain slowly processed this new information.

“So you’re trying to tell me you’d rather go out for a beer then?”

Shade closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. Inner Peace. “…you’re an idiot,” he said with almost fond exasperation. It was a sentiment he found himself voicing a lot when in close proximity to him.

At that, the Captain reared back, eyes wide, his lips parting.

“Shade?!”

Ah. So his day could get worse.

He should have just gone invisible as soon as the Captain had appeared. Or better yet, he should never have gone out in public. It was too late now; if he disappeared in his signature swirl of shadows, that would just confirm his identity.

“…no?” he tried feebly.

“Holy shit, that is you!”

Shade miserably folded his arms in front of his chest, as if that could hide his cleavage. His cheeks were burning and even though he was covered from head to toe, he felt exposed and vulnerable.

“Bro, what happened?” The Captain was still staring at him in slack-jawed bewilderment.

“…magical accident,” Shade answered, giving a small, helpless shrug as if that explained everything.

The Captain recovered some of his composure, closing his mouth. “Fucking magic users, man,” he said with a sympathetic nod. His eyes were still wide, though.

Awkward silence.

“So…” The Captain cleared his throat. “Do you want to get that drink?”

“I am going to murder you,” Shade said flatly, taking a menacing step toward him.

The Captain stumbled back, shaking his head fervently. “I meant a drink! Alcohol! As in, totally platonic drinking buddies!” He swallowed. “If I was in your situation I would really want one.”


***


Shade peered into his almost empty glass and decided that drinking with the Captain wasn’t the worst thing in the world. It turned out he was actually a lot more tolerable if viewed through the pleasant buzz of slight inebriation.

“So then I said to Amethyst ‘Did you know my superstrength comes with superstamina?’ but she just gave me that look. I mean, death ray eyes aren’t one of her confirmed powers, but at that moment I could have sworn otherwise.” The Captain sighed. “She’s so uptight, man.”

“She’s had a rough year,” Shade mumbled into his glass.

“Yeah, I know! So you’d think she’d be up for some loving to cheer her up, but no.” The bartender deposited two fresh pints of beer in front of them, and the Captain took a long gulp. “I’m never gonna tap that at this rate.”

“So go find someone else,” Shade said, and winced when he realized that subtly slurring his new husky voice made him sound like a sultry sex goddess. Alcohol. He needed more alcohol.

“Yeah, but…” The Captain didn’t seem to have noticed, gesturing vaguely. “Amethyst, man. Have you seen her lately? She really needs someone to cheer her up.”

“Holy shit, you like her,” Shade blurted out, amazed.

“Dude, I’ve been telling you that for ages! Were you even listening?”

“…right. Sorry.” Pause. “You know that you can’t solve her problems with your dick, right?”

“Well, what else can I do, bro? There’s no one I can beat up for her, and you know what it’s like not being good with words and shit.”


***


“So, dude, can I touch them?”

“No.”

“Aw. Come on!”

“No.”

“At least tell me what they’re like.”

“They’re heavy. They throw off my balance. And they never stop jiggling.”

“…could you bounce up and down a bit?”


***


“Dude. Bro. You’re awesome. You know that, right?” The Captain’s voice was barely intelligible, but spoken with such intensity that it commanded attention.

“You shouldn’t call me that,” came Shade’s equally slurred voice.

“What?”

“Bro.” He squinted into his glass, and then gestured to his rack. “I’m not a bro anymore.”

The Captain gesticulated wildly. “Oh, bullshit. You’re my friend, and that makes you my bro.” His eyebrows furrowed. “Bro-ette. Sorry for hitting on you, by the way.”

“I haven’t been a very good friend to you, though.”

“ ’sokay.” He smiled a drunken smile.

“I’m not Arrow, you know.”

“Huh?”

“I’m never gonna be Arrow 2.0.”

The furrow in the Captain’s brow deepened. Then he guffawed. “Shit, man, is that why you’ve been so cold to me all this time?”

Shade peered at the Captain, wishing he’d stop spinning already.

“Dude. No offense, but you are not a special snowflake. If I wanted a dark, brooding vigilante as a sidekick, I have, like, dozens to choose from.”

“Oh.” Squint. “So why?”

“Why what?”

“Why have you been trying to friend me for five years?”

The Captain was gazing at him like he didn’t understand the question. Which was entirely possible. Shade contemplated repeating it, slower and louder.

“Cause I think you’re a pretty cool guy? Gal. Whatever.”

“Oh.” Shade wasn’t sure how to respond to that. The Captain was still peering at him funny.

“Can you really not understand why someone would want to be friends with you?”

Shade found a spot on the bar counter that was suddenly highly fascinating and required close scrutiny.

“All right,” the Captain drawled, and then waved at the bartender. “Another round!”


***


“Women, man.” Shade rested his cheek on the nice cool counter, his mind filled with images of Diane. “Women.”

The Captain nodded sympathetically. “I know, bro. I know.”

He held out his fist.

After a moment’s hesitation, Shade tentatively and awkwardly reached out to bump it.


***


“So this thing…” The Captain gestured to Shade’s tits, then seemed to get entranced by the sight, trailing off. Shade snapped his fingers in front of his face to get his attention. “Oh! Yeah. Is it reversible?”

Shade closed his eyes. “…probably not.” How did one undo healing?

“Sucks.” He seemed to be straining to find something uplifting to say. “But at least you make a really hot chick!”

“Not helping.”

“Right. Sorry.”

Shade stared morosely into his glass. “This body is weak. I can’t fight anyone like this. My whole life, just… gone.”

The Captain sat up straighter, frowning. “Huh? Why?”

“I almost died because I didn’t realize how weak I was.”

“You’ll get used to it.”

“But I rely on my strength!” he insisted.

“Dude.” The Captain was giving him the side-eye again. “You’ve always been weak.”

Silence.

“I have sharp pointy objects strapped to my wrist.”

The Captain nodded. “You do. And I have no doubt you could hurt me with them. Which is the point. Seriously, man, I have superstrength. Man, woman, you guys are all weak from my perspective. And yet you’ve been fighting people like me for years and never worried about the strength difference.” He raised his glass in what might have meant to resemble a toast, spilling half the liquid. “You have skill, and that hasn’t gone away. You just, you know, need to get used to…” He gestured to his breasts again. “…all this.”

Shade snorted, but said nothing.

There was a long uncomfortable pause, until the Captain cleared his throat, clearly intent on changing the subject. “I wonder how the shippers will react to this. They’ll probably have a field day.”

Shade slowly raised his head. “Shippers?”

“Yeah, you know. It’s gonna mess up their slashfics.”

“…slashfic?”

There was a sudden gleam in the Captain’s eyes. “Oooh. You don’t know about the slashfics, do you?” His lips curved into a gleeful grin that reminded Shade of Diane. Which really should have been his cue to run away.

The Captain pulled out a smartphone from the depths of his costume – where does he keep pockets? Shade’s drunken mind complained – and tapped it wildly, shushing Shade when he tried to speak.

Then he slid the phone to Shade over the counter, looking like a kid for whom Christmas had come early. Shade picked it up with a sinking feeling, concentrating hard on the words displayed on the screen. After a few moments they stopped spinning, arranging themselves in a more or less orderly manner.


“oh baby” shade maoned, lifting his ass up in the air and putting his moist anal caverns of wonder on display for his one true love “im so ready for you. take me! take me hard!”

captain patriot stands beside him naked, his glistening manhood proud and erect.

“take my anal virginity! i give it to you as a gift!”


Shade calmly put the phone back on the counter. Then he slid it back to the Captain.

There was a long moment of silence, broken only by the small, throaty whimpers of the Captain trying to hold back his laughter.

“If your glistening manhood comes anywhere near my anal caverns of wonder, I will cut it off.”

The Captain slipped from his barstool and hit the floor.

He did not stop laughing for quite some time.