How does my new posting read?

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I have combined From Knight and Courtship and I think it combined well but I am wondering how other readers feel about it? Does it flow together well since they were written several years apart? Do they fit well together? If you read it please give me your criticism. I am thinking of publishing it on Amazon kindle and want to make sure that it is as perfect as I can get it. Any thoughts on it will be accepted as I am my own worst critic.

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The sum of the parts...

...is a whole story. However, my proofreader's eye caught a number of issues around commas. I've been trying to make what edits I see and will send a copy of what I've done in a personal message.

proofread

Thank you. Any help will be appreciated. I am good at proofreading others, but my own mistakes are hard for me to see.