In which a superhero meets his match, masks are uncovered and a mad scientist just tries to get some mad science-ing done without getting distracted by the antics of her magical minion.

---

Kara froze, his mouth suddenly dry.

“Did you miss me?” Her voice was coquettish, almost playful.

Amethyst was saying something, too, but he only saw her lips moving, processing none of her words. Shade closed his eyes, willing himself to ignore the villainess and to focus on the heroine instead.

“… and the trial is coming up, and it’s just been… ugh. Murder! It’s ridiculous. He was a villain! He deserved it.” Amethyst huffed and looked to him. “Right?”

Shade belatedly realized she wanted a response. “Right,” he mumbled.

“Because I missed you, Kara,” whispered Diane, and Shade shivered. Stop it, body. Stop it.

Amethyst seemed genuinely relieved. “I’m glad you understand, Shade. You would not believe how some people look at me now.” She raked her fingers through her long straight hair, smiling tentatively.

“We all make mistakes,” he said slowly, putting special emphasis on the last word, hoping Diane would take the hint.

Soft feminine laughter rang in his ear.

Amethyst turned her head away, expression darkening. “The world is a better place without him,” she said firmly.

“A mistake? Is that what you tell yourself to sleep at night?” Diane said at the same time, echoing words said to her in what seemed like a lifetime ago. Shade groaned.

Amethyst frowned at him and he tapped his earpiece. “Distress call,” he lied through his teeth. “Care to give me my powers back?”

“Oh.” She waved her hand in a vague gesture, and dark mist began swirling around his feet. “I can help…?” Amethyst stepped forward, but the sight of her was swept away in a wave of blackness, reforming to reveal the Paragon skyline.

He crouched low at the edge of the roof, hissing into his transmitter, “What do you want?”

“A pony. Money. Money to buy more ponies.”

He ground his teeth.

“Be serious.”

She laughed again. “God, no. How sad would life be if I actually took it seriously?”

“This isn’t a game.”

“And that, dearest Kara, is where you are wrong.”

“Stop calling me that.”

“But you like it when I call you that.”

“I don’t.”

“Liar,” she said gently.

Shade could do nothing but grind his teeth.

“You loved being Kara with me,” she continued in a low voice. “I loved it, too. So I started thinking about how I might lure you into another night, but then I said to myself, Self, I said, he’s not gonna keep falling for the vines. But I have a crazy idea that just might work.” She paused for dramatic effect. “Would you like to have sex again?”

“…what.”

“Sex. I know you’re pure and virtuous, so excuse the coarse language; it must be very confusing for you. It’s that thing we did where Slot A goes into Tab B.” Pause. “I’m asking you out,” she added helpfully.

Silence reigned.

“Now before you answer, you should know that I have a certain pair of red panties lying right next to me. I’m not afraid to hurt them.”

He barked out a disbelieving laugh.

“I mean it. It’ll be a terrible bloodbath. Silk ripped apart and scattered. Very gruesome.” He could hear the grin in her voice. “You don’t want that to happen, do you?”

“You are truly evil,” he said solemnly.

“Tell me something I don’t know!” She giggled; an adorable sound that Shade couldn’t help but find charming. It reminded him that she was still young – perhaps not wholly set in her ways yet. No, brain, stop it.

“That night can never happen again,” he said, pinching the bridge of his nose. “It was a mistake.”

“No,” she said simply. “It wasn’t, Kara. I’ll leave you alone forever if you can tell me right here, right now, that you didn’t enjoy it.”

Shade didn’t answer. He couldn’t, and she knew it.

“Which means the only reason you’re turning me down is some moral high ground bullshit. And that, quite frankly, offends my delicate sensibilities.”

“You’re a–“

“Villain, yes. Your observational skills awe me. Well, guess what, Shade, you need a villain in your life. I have never met anyone wound as tightly as you are. You want someone who overrules your objections and just forces you to do all those things you so desperately crave, absolving you of all responsibility so you can stop feeling guilty and just enjoy them.”

Shade stood frozen, lips slightly parted at her brutal insight. They’d barely spent any time together, and half of that he’d been an incoherent mess of moans and whimpers. How had she…?

Her voice softened. “Just think of all the things I’ve yet to make you do. Don’t you think you’d look pretty in high heels and a corset?”

Kara swallowed audibly, and then jerkily shook his head to clear it, reminding himself of the reflection in his mirror.

“So if you want to turn me down, that’s fine. But do it for the right reasons. Life’s too short to pass up on mutual pleasure.”

Life’s too short.

The photo of the ill girl flashed through his mind again. Is that what had made her this way?

“I found your medical file,” he announced suddenly, not sure what made him voice that out loud.

“Oh?” Diane’s voice was flat.

“You were dying.”

“No way,” she breathed.

He grew quiet again, at a loss of what to say, how to ask what he wanted to know.

He didn’t need to.

“Would it make a difference to you if this was… what? My last hurrah? Would that excuse my crimes in your eyes?” Her voice held a mocking lilt. “But a villain is a villain is a villain. Right?”

“Not… all villains are equal,” he conceded.

“Moral relativism, Shade? That’s a slippery slope.” He bristled at her smugness. “I wonder, would you care if I died tomorrow?”

Tension shot through his body. “Are you still dying?”

“Would you be sad if I was?” She sounded curious.

He didn’t answer for a long moment, and heard her subtly exhale in disappointment. “Yes.”

Her voice brightened instantly. “Well, good news for you, I’m not.” Relief flooded him, staggering in its intensity. “Though now you have to ask yourself why the thought of being forever deprived of my lovely company makes you sad.”

“I… I don’t have to want you around me to be saddened by your death. Go be alive somewhere else.”

Diane laughed. “But who would entertain you? I can juggle and make shadow puppets. Shadows! They’re, like, your favorite thing.”

“I may have mentioned this before, but you are insane.”

“And you love it,” she chirped brightly. “Anyway, I don’t expect an answer right away. Think about it. I’ll be around.” She paused, and then emphasized the next word with a sensual caress. “Kara.”

The connection cut off.