Charlotte's Past

By

Ben Miller

“Hey Charlotte, we need to talk!” I heard a cold voice of my girlfriend whome I been seeing for over a year coming from my bedroom as I walked in my place late in the evening coming home from work.

“Why did you call me that?” As if I didn’t know. This could not be good at all.

“Well That is what it says on the front of this album you had hidden. Care to explain what I am seeing inside” I went cold. I went over to where she was sitting on my bed with the incriminating album. “I have not gone by that name Charlotte for many years, since I moved away from home. That I go by my name Charley now should give you an idea that I am not really like that. “

She seemed actually upset and almost in tears. She showed me what she was seeing. There were various humiliating pictures of me, much younger dressed in an assortment of girls clothing, or lingerie. Most of them had me in very decidedly effeminate poses. I was just praying she didn’t get closer to the back. It was in chronological order. The front of the album had me as a young child, around twelve to thirteen years old when the nightmare all started for me. As it got farther to the back, I got older. And the photos got more degrading. “My love, That is a part of my life I want to forget and now lets put this up please.”

too be continued when I decide where I want to take this. Help or advice will be greatly welcomed

“You don’t look upset or unhappy in them. IN fact you look very happy. Lets look thought these pictures, I went all the way thought the book and saw everything. Here, look like twelve. Maybe someone put you up to it but you have a smile and looking happy. Then here, you are with a boy, kissing and he looks around your age, maybe older. “

“That’s Richard, lets forget him. “ Cold feelings of terror run though me seeing his face. I had spent countless hours trying to forget he ever existed. “He was fourteen and I was twelve. Please turn the page.”

“You look happy sitting on his lap in those panties and garter belt holding up your stockings and what about that sexy red bra. What did you put in them to make your chest look so real. And you are kissing him. Do you have a gay side you never told me about. If you wanted to forget this, you need to explain this to me, why do you look so happy, what really happened. Is this some gay relationship you had as a child and you want to hide it. Or something more, if its more and bad, why do you still keep these pictures.”

Fair question. I kept them in case I ever wanted to use them in any legal action against him but more I looked at it, More I saw it could be used against me. Nothing looked like abuse or me being forced. It showed none of his cruel side and what he did to get me to pose for those pictures. None of the bruises, beatings he inflicted on me. It showed me happy. I had to be happy or else. So I hide the album planning some day to burn the past. I had not got to that point yet and I almost forgot I even had that. “Where did you find that at?”

“Oh she said. I found this under all the rest of the stuff in the table. If you didn’t want it found you did a bad job must had left it out last night.”

“Oh” I said absent minded. “Ok well I don’t want to talk about the past so lets forget it. Wait a minute! “ I said harshly. “Theres no way you found THAT on the table. Its in my closet. Look!” I stood up and marched into my closet and looked at the locked safe I kept it in. It had been opened with the only key I had. “

“Cynthia I asked you again how did you get that book. I always keep it in this locked safe I never take it out! It stayed in there So HOW DID YOU GET IT”

“Ok fine I found the key and opened it. I wanted to know more about you. Now I want to know about this. “

I yelled, “I don’t owe you any explanation. This is my past, a painful past where I was abused right under my parents noses, They were distant and neglectful and after This, They totally alienated me. They thought just as you do, that I willingly changed Now, we are though. I want to you leave get out. “

She got angry and stood up, “I cant believe you want me to leave over this. Just some teenage relationship I found. You owe me an explanation. Im your girlfriend so I should know my boyfriends past. “

“NO you don’t. I don’t know everyone you were with though your teen years. I said go get out!” I told you again

“Fine, when do you want to meet again?”

“Never” I said. “ I told you we are thought. You violated my privacy snooping in things you had no right to go. And then you demand answers to things you had no right to in the first place now accuse me of having a gay relationship when in fact, he beat and raped me and forced me to do that. Imagine accusing a female rape victim of wanting it. That’s how enraged and hurt I feel now get the fuck out before I lose control and lash out. I feel it coming so GET OUT.”

I grabbed her arm, twisted it a little too hard behind her in a arm lock and threw her out of the door. I slammed it behind her and hid in my bed crying. Vaguely wondering if I broke her arm or not but not really caring. This looking over at my closet, looking at plan B for Richard. Plan A was a legal suit or charges but I didn’t think there was enough there for anything. My Plan B was the gun I had in another safe. I wonder where he lived now but I could find out.