After a brief discussion with Elrod, I decided to re-read "Trick of the Mind" by Maeryn Lamonte.

Here's a quote that really sums up my feeling on the subject of SRS. This I realize is something that is personal for everyone and while I'm comfortable with this mindset, it really isn't a "one size fits all" answer. But for me this is it exactly:

"I marveled at the young girl who looked back out at me (from the mirror); there wasn’t a trace of Richard in the person who stood there. For the first time since I could remember a remarkable calm settled over me as I looked at the girl inside of me.

I knew I didn’t want to be a girl — not exclusively, not completely. I'd spent a fair bit of time over the years trying to explore why I felt the way I felt and reconcile myself to the strange urges inside of me. I had considered my feelings about having a sex change, and decided that I liked being a guy too much. I wasn’t even vaguely attracted to other guys, although if I was all girl that attitude might change. I doubted it would though, because I found beauty in the feminine form and it would seem even more wrong to go to all the effort of changing just to become a lesbian."

Even though, for me, I don't need to make my body match my mind, there is a girl inside and the need to express that feminine person is as real as breathing. The older I get, I need to give more and more expression. However, just as Maeryn so succinctly stated, "I didn't (don't)want to be a girl - not exclusively, not completely."

I do however, refer to myself as a "male lesbian" due to the fact that I really like being a guy and still have that girl inside.