“Kanya, you need to remember that kathoey are there for each other,” Miss Karawek admonishes me later that afternoon. She continues, “I know that what A-Wut did to you is unforgiveable, but, as a kathoey, it is your responsibility to help Kamlai become a happy kathoey herself.” I sigh and go find Kamlai…

She is still quietly crying to herself. I timidly go up to her and ask, “OK, Kamlai, what can I do to help you in your new life? I know that the flood of hormones you are feeling right now is a lot to embrace; the tears seem like they will never stop. You will adjust, though.” Kamlai looks at me like I am a snake about to bite her. I just smile and ask, “Well?”

Kamlai sniffs and tells me about how Sunan had confessed and Miss Karawek had confronted him. Then she tells me how her Dad had taken her to his clinic after I had told my story. She tells me about the terror she had experienced as some kathoeys at the clinic had put her into girl’s clothes and made up her face. Then…her dad had given her her new name…a normal girl’s name; one that usually means a pretty piece of jewelry–but he had explained that in her case, it was more like a shackle and she had cried bitterly for the first time as a kathoey.

She sniffles and wipes her nose on a tissue. Finally, she continues, “Then, later that evening, he injected me with hormones, he said that all of the people that I had hurt had condemned me to them to pay for my crimes. That I am to be a girl, a kathoey for the rest of my life…and then he put in the implants…” She starts bawling at that point.

I look at Kamlai and simply ask, “And how did that make you feel?” She looks at me like that was the most stupid question that anyone could ever ask. She says, “Terrible, scared, helpless…” I nod and say, “Yes, Kamlai, that pretty much describes how I felt when A-Wut forced me to become a kathoey.”

I take a deep breath and say, “Kamlai, I want you to know that I did not ask your father to give you the hormones. I did tell him that he should ask the others that you were terrible to. They are the ones that decided you need to pay that price. I was OK with the original punishment of you being a kathoey for a while to see what it is like. But, now that you are one, no matter what I decide now that I have a choice, I will do my best to help you adjust. There are many really good things about being a kathoey…”

I obviously don’t break any ice that day with Kamlai, but I did the best I could and don’t give up. I even get Hom and the girls to start including a very reluctant Kamlai in some activities. Miss Karawek makes sure that she stays engaged and all of her teachers ‘encourage’ appropriate feminine behaviors from her.

Over the next couple of weeks, she starts to slowly adjust her behaviors. Sunan is now the ‘king’ of our age group and it really irks Kamlai, especially when he treats her like a kathoey–like a girl. Sunan is not a bully like A-Wut was, but he certainly does not cut Kamlai any slack and wastes no opportunity to remind her of her ‘female’ status.

As for me, well, the best thing that has come of this, is that I can finally put on a nightie around Mommy and not have to bind my boobies. She still shakes her head when she sees them loose and filling out the top of the nightie, but I don’t care. I can chill in comfort.

I spend the first two weeks after the truth had come out exploring being able to dress more freely without having to worry about Mommy noticing anything. I am now 5’4” and almost as tall as Mommy. Her size seven shoes almost fit me, although they are still a bit big, since I am a size six. Mommy is considered ‘petite’ at 5’6” and a wears a size three dress. Daddy was not much taller than Mommy at 5’10”. So, chances are, I am not going to be really tall, regardless of what I decide to do.

I put on a pair of my size two jeans and look in the mirror and notice that my curves are starting to show as much as my boobies. My legs look less like sticks and are shapelier. My butt is getting rounder and, together with my thighs, I am filling my jeans out more. My waist is narrowing and the overall look is getting to be very feminine, although I have to tuck my mini-guy to create a flat front. I put on a white, blouse and make sure that my cleavage is covered, since Mommy really does not like when it shows...

I am excited! Our two-week spring-break starts tomorrow and I have plans to spend time with Hom and Chimlin, as well as Dao. Malee wants me to work more on my modeling skills, too. And then Mommy springs a decision she has made on me at supper. She looks at me seriously and says, “Kanya, you have two weeks left before we have to decide what to do about your hormonal decision. Since you are going to be off those two weeks, I want you to go back to being Danny to see what it is like again. I want to be sure that you are seriously considering what you want. I am still not sure it is best to let you decide, but I am open to hearing what you want, but only if you have really thought about it.”

I am stunned. I play with my food on my plate for a bit, but don’t take another bite. Finally, I say, “Mommy, I had plans for my break. Plans that do not include being Danny. There are things that I want to do as Kanya, not Danny. For all I know, you will make me go back to being Danny for good, then these are my last two weeks to be Kanya.”

Mommy notices my choice of words and asks, “Make you go back? Does that mean that you have decided you want to stay Kanya?” I shake my head and say, “No. But you just said you may not let me make the decision!” She smiles and says, “Touché. OK, I will compromise with you. You will split the two weeks and be Danny for one and you can do your Kanya things for the other. But, you have to be Danny full-time for the week. Also, I am still not saying that I will just let you decide on a whim. But, if you can convince me that you want one or the other with all of your heart and can explain why, then I will really listen and consider it. Deal?”

I know I am not going to get anything better than that. It really is going to mess with my plans, but I nod my head and hug her. I say, “Yes, Mommy. Deal. But can I get the Danny stuff out of the way the first week?” She hugs me and says, “Yes.” She goes and gets a bag that has a couple of pairs of boy’s jeans, shirts, socks, underwear, and running shoes. Inwardly, I groan. Outwardly, I wanly smile and take the bag. Mommy says, “Tomorrow, then…”

I get up and see the clothes laid out to remind me of my week-long sentence. A few short months ago, wearing girl’s clothes was the sentence. Maybe Mommy is right, I need to give this a chance. I take a shower, using just soap and shampoo and dry off. I put on a pair of the undies and notice immediately how scratchy they are. I put on a bra, I still have to wear one for the support. I sit down and almost start putting on makeup. Then I remember I am ‘Danny’…but, my face feels naked without it.

I put on a shirt and grimace at how rough it feels. I struggle with the buttons on the wrong side of the shirt and the fact that it is tight over my boobies. Then…I put on the jeans. I groan…mostly in discomfort. They are too tight on my thighs and hips; there is a huge gap at my waist; and they are so…stiff. My Kanya jeans are all soft and stretchy, these are really uncomfortable.

I tie my hair back in a ponytail and put on my socks and shoes. I go out to get breakfast. Mommy has it all made–as Danny, I guess I am not expected to help with the girly chores. I am not sure whether that is some sort of bribe, but I am not going to look a gift horse in the mouth. Although…I feel weird not helping…

Mommy asks me, “Danny, what are your plans for today?” I blush and say, “Well, I had already made plans with Hom and Chimlin, so I guess I will go meet them and see if they still want me around…” Mommy says, “Of course they will! Why wouldn’t they want a cute guy around?” I don’t say it is because we were going to the mall to try on outfits.

To my surprise, the girls are OK with me sticking around. They do their best to include me, but it is strained and I miss being Kanya. They joke with me, but it is half-hearted. As we part, they just say how much happier I seem as Kanya and that they miss her already…

The week goes by slowly. I quickly get used to not having to do chores, but the boy books and magazines that Mommy puts back on my Kindle don’t really grab me anymore, so I am pretty bored. I go outside and find Dao. She is the most understanding of my situation and we spend a lot of time talking. She is the only one that really keeps me sane.

By the time the second week rolls around, I am starting to readjust to being Danny, but the Danny of old…quiet, reserved, isolated…

It feels a little weird to get up and put on my silky panties and bra after my shower and then to put on my makeup. I only feel weird for a little bit, though…then, I feel free. The lonely shackles of being Danny are lifted and I call Hom. We meet at the mall, Chimlin can’t make it, and spend the day like we had planned last week…just being near-teenage girls trying on clothes and having fun.

The next day, Miss Karawek comes by and picks me up to take me to Malee’s. She has me put on a really cool outfit and five inch heels. Then she has me practice my walk to make sure the week as Danny did not make me forget. After a few minutes, she is satisfied and has me go to the catwalk to model the outfit. There are a few people that I don’t know watching me and I am a bit self-conscious, but I don’t fall or anything. I finish the walk, leave the runway, and get a big hug from Miss Karawek.

Malee comes up to me after a few minutes and introduces me to a Ms. Bussaba. It turns out that she is the owner of a local modeling company and wants me to model a few things at a show on Saturday. This had been an audition and I did not even know it. Malee asks me, “Are you interested, Kanya?” I nod enthusiastically and say, “Oh, yes. It would be awesome fun!” Malee says, “Of course, you will get paid for the job, as well.” Miss Karawek says she will talk to Mommy to get the permission slip signed.

Mommy somewhat reluctantly signs the permission slip and I spend a couple of hours a day for the rest of the week practicing. Malee is relentless, making me walk the walk and putting on makeup. The walking is easy, since Malee had been making me practice for so long. The makeup is another thing. The way Malee shows me, I look more like I am eighteen when she is done. By the end of the week, I am really good at it, though.

Miss Karawek picks Mommy and me up and drives us to the arena where we are going to put on the fashion show. I go to the side entrance and find Malee while Miss Karawek and Mommy go in the front entrance to find their seats.

Malee supervises me putting on my makeup. When she is satisfied, she takes me to the racks of dresses and finds the first one I am supposed to put on. First, she has me put on fishnet stockings and a different push-up bra that creates a lot of cleavage. Then she has me put on a short, gold dress that shows all of that cleavage. Finally, I put on bright red five-inch stilettos. She puts long, dangly earrings in my ears and sends me to get in line. There are two girls ahead of me and four minutes later it is my turn.

With the bright lights shining on me, it is hard to see the audience, but my heart is pounding. I just concentrate on my walk and not falling on my face. I make it back off the walk and Malee hugs me as she says, “Awesome, Kanya! Come on; we need to get you changed into your next dress.

Four dresses later, it is over. I get back into my own clothes and take off the heavy makeup. Mommy and Miss Karawek come backstage to meet me and both hug me for doing a good job. At that moment, Malee comes over with Ms. Bussaba, who shakes Mommy’s hand.

She turns to me and says, “Kanya, you did very well today. Here is your check. I would really like you to sign a contract with us. Miss Malee is willing to be your manager and you can work out those details yourself, but I will need to know whether you are willing by next week. You could make some substantial money, plus maybe even get other contracts…”

Mommy nicely tells her that we will think about it and Miss Karawek takes us to the car. On the drive home, Miss Karawek asks, “Thai Pie, what do you think about the offer? You have to make a choice on being Danny or Kanya on Monday and this is obviously something only Kanya can do…”

Mommy only says, “It is a nice offer, but it can’t be a deciding factor in that choice, Sweetie. We will have to think about it tonight. Tomorrow, you can let me know your thoughts on what you would like to do and we will decide.”

To be continued in Part 8.