Sex Change For Success
By Czolgolz
[email protected]

NEW YORK - Forget Adkins, Pilates, or even American Idol. The new road to success for today's young man is to become a woman!

"It's not as radical as you might think," says Dr. Hillary Tanaka, founder of the 'Sex Change for Success' movement. "While many women feel they cannot make it in a man's world, many men are finding fulfillment as ladies!"

"My career was going nowhere," says Molly Walls, who until recently was known as Mark. "I was just another corporate attorney, a small cog in a big machine, going nowhere fast. I knew something had to change. On my thirty-fifth birthday, I decided it was time to reinvent myself."

Six months after becoming a woman, Molly became a senior legal advisor for her firm. "As Mark, I was just another face in the crowd that the top brass never noticed. But as the only woman at the firm, it wasn't hard to make my achievements stand out."

College basketball player Tanesha Johnson couldn't agree more. "As Darnel, all I did was ride the bench," says the statuesque, 20-year-old sophomore. "But when I joined the girl's team, I start nearly every game. Recruiters from the WNBA keep calling me. I'm only sorry I didn't do this earlier."

Dr. Tanaka will accept any patient above the age of fourteen. An intense course of hormone injections, electrolysis, and surgery ensures that her patients will soon be exchanging their jockstraps for panties.

"At first," relates Dr. Tanaka, "the government insisted only men who'd had years of therapy could be converted. However, since I moved my clinic to the Bahamas, I can turn Jack into Jill in a matter of weeks. The procedure is, of course, irreversible, but I haven't heard any complaints!"

While of Tanaka's patients switch from pants to skirts to advance their careers, clients have reported additional benefits.

"When my husband Gene told me he wanted to become Ginny to help out his acting career, I was concerned," says Sue Hamilton, 23. "But a year later, we couldn't be more pleased! She's already had speaking roles in two major films, and been offered a part in a new television series. Also, we're both a size five, so we can share clothes."

Ginny Hamilton, 22, agrees. "You'd think that sharing dresses would save money, but to tell you the truth, I think we spend twice as much now!"

Gender swapping isn't just for the job-minded. "Sex Change for Success rocks!" says high school junior Terry Silva, 16. "I was such a nerd before. Now that I'm a chick I'm on the swim team, on student counsel, and was junior prom queen. Being a girl is awesome!"

Not all of the man-made women are happy with their results, however. Kylee nee Kevin Landerson, 29, regrets her switch to lingerie.

"I thought being a woman would help me make it as a model. It turns out there's a glut in the market. All I've been able to get are a couple of spreads for Victoria's Secrets. I have to work nights at Hooters to pay the bills."

A full conversion as Dr. Tanaka's clinic costs between four and six thousand dollars. It is recommended that clients put aside an additional two thousand dollars for a new wardrobe.

And just in case you were wondering if Dr. Hillary Tanaka has her clients' best interests at heart, remember what she says in her commercials. "I'm not only the founder of 'Sex Change for Success,' I'm also a customer!"