Games Even the mighty like to play. When genies play games, the objects of their attention must learn the rules. And fast.

Far beyond the reach of space and time lies the City of Brass. A sea of flames surrounds it and the brass walls glow hot enough to blind any visitor who made it through the endless magma. This hellish region is home to powers so unimaginable that gods themselves fear to meet them.

In a tower high above the city five genies met. Each one has enough power to shake the foundations of the world. Together all of creation was at threat. The mighty quailed at the outcome of the meeting.

“Hand me another pint, would you?”

“Haven’t you had enough?”

“Oh, give it a rest, would you? It’s a do, enjoy yourself.”

“Both of you stop. We’ve got a game underway, and still have to figure out the rules this time around.”

“What’s to figure? We go out, grant wishes, whoever gives the most poetic punishment wins.”

“Booo-ring. How many times have we done that? It gets old.”

“And I suppose you want to help them? Make their lives better?”

“Well…”

“Been there, done that. How about something new?”

“Got something in mind?”

“In point of fact I do–”

---

“Chris, where are you,” yelled Sally Antiers as soon as she entered the door.

No answer. She hadn’t expected one and was disappointed anyway. Since her son’s car wasn’t in the driveway, she assumed he’d gone out.

Also as she expected, he hadn’t done any of his chores. His books were tossed casually on the sofa along with some old gym clothes. No notes, no messages, nothing saying when he’d be back.

Annoyed, she pulled out her phone and called him. He didn’t answer, so she had to leave a message. “Chris, I want you to come home. Now. You have homework and chores. You can’t keep running off, this is not acceptable.”

She hated nagging her son, even while she was doing it. His father, her ex-husband Frank, had been an up-and-coming ad designer when they married. She didn’t nag Frank when he brought that sleazy hotel manager home. How she wished she had. She told him he shouldn’t trust that man, but left it at that. Every client she met after that seemed worse until the police finally arrested Frank for drug trafficking. When she saw Chris hanging out with the same types of people, she would nag.

Already worn out after a hard day, she slipped off her shoes and walked over to the fridge. After a moment’s thought she pulled out one frozen dinner. She doubted Chris would respond to her message any time soon.

He was probably out with his girlfriend, Tiffany, the daughter of one of her ex-husband’s associates. The man owned a car dealership but laundered money on the side. She wanted to keep Chris as far from them as possible, but the harder she tried, the more he rebelled.

Last month he got suspended for having beer at school. She was sure he got it from one of Frank’s friends to impress Tiffany. The girl was just the last straw. Sally had to take some drastic measures, but what?

While she knew that Tiffany’s father was laundering money, she didn’t have anything she could bring to the police. Maybe she could find evidence in the boxes Frank left in the garage that she hadn’t thrown out yet. And if not, she thought, she could always call in an anonymous tip. She knew he was dirty. She’d be doing the town a favor.

And she’d be helping Chris, even if he wouldn’t agree.

Tired and annoyed after cleaning up dinner, she sat down in front of the television. She wanted to meet a new man and have something to do with her evenings, but single mothers didn’t have a chance on the dating scene. The last time she had a date Chris called her three times, everything from a backed up sink to help with the homework he finally decided to do. She never saw her date again. It was like Chris was working for Frank.

She almost pushed her son’s books off the couch but then thought better of it. If she stacked them on the table they’d be visible right when he walked in. Yes, it was still a type of nagging, but at least she could do it without yelling.

A can tumbled out of his backpack when she lifted it. It was unmarked, but she suspected it was either tobacco or drugs. At first she was angry, but then relieved. At least she’d know. She was sure it was the girl’s fault, but even if she had to put her son in juvie he’d be clean and away from Tiffany and her father.

She struggled to pull the can open, but the lid was stuck tight.

She grabbed it with a nearby blanket for a better grip and twisted it around. It popped off with sudden force and flew from her hands.

She started choking as smoke billowed around her.

The smoke didn’t clear, though it did recede.

A pile of smoke remained on the floor, and a large man stood in the middle of it, visible from the waist up.

He was blue.

Bright blue.

A super-sized smurf.

“Well, well, well, congratulations,” the man practically shouted at her, “You are the owner of one genuine, one hundred percent pure, super powerful genie.”

“What? Who are you? How did you get here?” she babbled incoherently. Yelling probably wouldn’t help her.

“Didn’t you hear me? I can clear that up if you’ve got hearing problems.” He stopped. Then, enunciating each word clearly, he said, “Genie. Me.” Pointing at her, he said, “Yours.”

“A… genie?”

“Hey, hey, hey, now she’s got it. Yes, that’s me. A genie. And I am here to grant you your wishes. Yes, that’s right, you have a special opportunity today only for as many wishes as you want. That’s right, no limits. Sky’s the limit is for suckers, we can go way beyond that. No limits at all. As many wishes as you want.”

He paused his tireless speech, and suddenly frowned shyly. Holding up his hand with his thumb and forefinger just barely separated, he said, “Subject to one teeny tiny little condition.”

Sally rallied. “You can grant wishes? You’re going to grant me wishes?”

The genie’s eyes narrowed. He leaned forward and looked into her eyes. “Anyone home in there? How many times do I have to say it? Yes. Genie. Me. Granting wishes.

“Soy un genio. Cencedo deseos.

“Je suis un génie. J’accorde souhaits.

“Ich bin ein Genie. Ich gebe Wá¼nsche.

“Get it?”

She didn’t believe it. On the other hand, she had a big blue man standing in a cloud of smoke. “Well, all right then. I wish–”

“Hold on a second, sister. There’s that one teeny tiny little condition to go over. Hardly worth mentioning, but I’ll mention it anyway.”

“OK.”

“Now, here it is. You can make as many wishes as you want, but they have to be chained. That is, the object of one wish must be the subject of the next wish. Further, you have to make a circular chain. The object of your last wish must be the subject of your first one, and once you’ve done that, your wishes are finished. Finally, I’ll choose my own place to start in the chain while keeping the subject object pairings constant.”

It didn’t help that he said all that at top speed. Sally looked confused, and finally said, “Can you repeat that?”

“Oooh, so sorry. One time and one time only. No small print, but one time through,” he said like a carnival barker. “Tell you what I can do though, just ‘cause I like you. An example. Yeah, an example’s allowed. So listen close. Are you listening?” He leaned towards her with his hand cupped around his ear just in case she didn’t understand.

Stunned, and still not entirely sure she wasn’t hallucinating, she nodded. “I’m listening.”

“Good. So, let’s take an example. I wish I had a giant house - subject is me, that is to say you, and object is the house. With me so far?”

Sally nodded. She could use a big house.

“Fine. Next I wish the house could fly. Now that’s no good see, because the house is the subject but there’s no object. Besides which flying houses are dumb. Too drafty. No cable. So that would end your wishes and you’d get nothing. Don’t do that,” he yelled.

She stared at him until she figured out he was waiting for a response. “OK.”

“So, backing up, lets say I wish the house was in New York. House, New York. Good. Finally, I wish New York would elect me governor. Bad idea - ungovernable state, but let’s go with it anyway. New York, me, and we’re back to the beginning. We have a loop, and I start granting wishes.”

She nodded. His excitement was infectious. “All right. Got it. Let’s go.”

---

“I wish my son would break up with his girlfriend, Tiffany,” she said without the slightest hesitation.

“Whoa, I like this lady. No waiting, just jump right in. Let’s keep this going.”

Sally suddenly stopped.

Rules.

Now she had to make a wish for Tiffany. She didn’t want to do anything to help her. Sure, it was her father who was dirty, but the seed doesn’t fall far from the tree.

“Can I take that back?” she asked. She could wish something bad would happen to Tiffany, but while she didn’t like the girl, she also didn’t hate her.

“No can do. Wishes once wished are wished wishes,” he answered at full speed.

“Can I think for a minute?”

“You think I have nothing better to do than wait on you? All powerful genie here; waiting around in this place watching the roaches crawl is not exactly my idea of a fun day. Take your time,” he pouted and started singing the Jeopardy tune.

“Fine,” she shouted back. “Just shut up. I got it. I wish Tiffany would move to another school, St. Sebastian’s.”

That would keep her away from Chris, which should help keep her son out of trouble, and wasn’t really ruining the girl’s life. As long as she stayed away from Chris Sally would be happy.

“And we’re moving right along. Tick, tock, tick, tock. We’ve got a break up and a move. You’re not exactly pushing my limits here. How much longer until the next one?”

“This one I’m ready for. I wish that school would offer me a job.” She could keep an eye on Tiffany, and besides it was bound to be a better job than what she had now. She didn’t have a teaching degree, so a job at the school would be an office job, maybe a principal.

“Let’s keep it going,” the genie said while tapping his foot loudly under the cloud of smoke that still surrounded him. Sally wondered idly if he was even wearing pants.

She thought. She could make a wish where she was the subject. It’s what she’d been waiting for. But now that it was here she was having trouble figuring out what she wanted, and how much longer she could keep this chain going. It didn’t help that the genie was getting impatient and had started singing 100 bottles of beer on the wall.

She decided to wrap the whole thing up.

“I wish I could make my son behave.”

The genie stopped singing immediately and looked at her. “And we have an attempt to wrap it up. I should say no go here, when you wished the school would offer you a job, the job was the object, you were an indirect object. But I like you, you have drive, ambition, moxie, and a big blue guy standing in your living room and you didn’t even blink. So, since I didn’t really break things down between direct and indirect objects, I’m going to give it to you. That’s just the kind of guy I am.”

He looked at her expectantly.

Finally he stage whispered, “Say thank you.”

“Thank you,” she said as though it was a question.

“Now don’t go thanking me. Remember that I choose where the chain starts. Oops, gotta go. Wishes granted. You’ll get ‘em as they come.”

The smoke rose back over him, and when it faded away he was no longer there.

Then another cloud of smoke rose around the can. When it faded away the can was gone too.

---

For a few moments Sally stared, mouth agape, at the spot where a large blue man stood in a cloud of smoke just moments earlier. She wondered if she was going crazy.

The smell of smoke lingered and stuck to the carpet, so she figured it just might be real.

Chris might be home early after all, if he was going to break up with Tiffany. She felt a little sorry for him even if she was the cause. She almost started warming up a dinner for him but stopped. First, the genie didn’t set a time frame. Second, genies aren’t real. Whatever happened to her, she shouldn’t get her hopes up.

Still, she thought, it wouldn’t hurt to get the address for St. Sebastian’s. Maybe she should wander over there tomorrow evening. If Chris broke up with Tiffany, she resolved, she’d call in sick and go by the school during the day.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

She broke into a wide grin when she heard Chris’s car pull up the driveway. Best not to look like she was expecting it, so she quickly turned on the television.

“Hey Mom,” Chris shouted as he came in the door. “I’ve got some big news, so sit down.” He was happier than she had expected after a breakup, but that was fine. She wanted him to be happy. That’s why she made that wish in the first place. She sat back down with an expectant smile.

“Go ahead,” she prompted.

“OK, now don’t freak out. You know Tiffany’s Dad, Mr. Mariano. Well, he’s offered to start me on the floor after school as a salesman at his dealership. It’s a great opportunity and can lead to a lot more…”

Her smile fell. She didn’t want him working for Frank’s friends. He should be telling her how he broke up with Tiffany. “I see,” she said with a frown creasing her face.

“I’ll be working late, so he’s asked me to move in with them. I know it’ll mean leaving you alone here, but you can probably do better without my messes and I’ll just be across town. Tiff convinced her Dad–” he said with a dreamy smile.

“How dare you–” she shouted as she jumped off the couch. When she was halfway up, everything froze. She couldn’t move a muscle.

Instead she heard, echoing inside her head, “I did say I could start the chain anywhere, while leaving subject and object where they were. So I started with your second wish. With that, you wished your son would move to Tiffany’s. Done.”

She could suddenly move again and finished bolting upright.

“How dare you even think of moving in with that hussy and leaving me. I forbid you from ever seeing that whore again,” she thundered.

“That’s my girl you’re talking about,” he yelled back in her face. “I’m going to have a better life than you, and she and her father are helping. You could at least pretend to be happy for me.”

“If you take one more step,” she railed despite desperately trying to stop herself, “never come back. Leave now and you’re no longer my son.”

He looked at her in disbelief. Her face was etched with hatred.

“Fine. Goodbye.” He turned and left without a backwards glance.

In her head, she heard the genie again, “And with our shift, your first wish was that you would break up with your son. Done.”

She broke down crying on the sofa while a dreadful laugh track blared from the television. Her son drove off, probably forever. Her wish doomed her to live without him. That awful genie tricked her. It was all wrong. She’d only wanted to help her boy and she drove him away.

Every time she tried to get up she would see something of Chris’s and fall back down. It surprised her when the sun came up. She’d passed the whole night in tears, but it was still too short a time to contain her regrets.

She called her work to tell them she couldn’t make it only to be told not to come in at all. They had been bought out and everyone was laid off effective immediately. She had to go by to get her severance, but that was all they could do.

The tiny, dark, messy house was not enough to contain her. She couldn’t imagine any greater disaster than meeting that genie, and was considering more drastic measures. She was tempted to give up. Forever.

Then there was a knock at the door.

It was Tiffany.

Somehow she restrained herself from slapping the bitch.

“Um, hi Mrs. Antiers. Chris told me everything that happened, and I feel bad about that. I thought, well, I thought maybe I could help you out.”

“What do you have in mind,” she asked calmly. It wasn’t what she wanted to say. Just like when she railed at Chris, she wasn’t fully in control of her actions.

“Well, I don’t want you to lose touch with Chris, so I thought you could work for us.”

She froze. Everything froze. There was the voice in her mind, “And now to your third wish. With the shift, you wished that Tiffany would give you a lesson. I replaced the direct object there instead of the indirect one.”

“All right,” she heard herself say, “I accept.”

“Great,” Tiffany gushed, “we need a maid. Keep in mind you have to behave properly. Neither Dad nor I put up with bad work, but as long as you do a good job and act like a proper maid, you can see Chris almost every day.”

The world froze again.

“And that’s your last wish. That your employer, Tiffany instead of the school, can make you behave.

And so she can.”