I ducked around the corner one step ahead of the heavy footfalls that chased after me. I didn’t think they saw where I went and I tried to calm my breathing as I slipped into the nondescript storefront to wait for them to run past. The anachronistic bell over the door rang as I opened and then closed the door behind me.

The door itself didn’t have a window, but there was a big picture window to the left. I put my hand over my heart and just felt it pound as I waited. I was sure that the people following me would guess where I went and come bursting through the door at any moment.

As the wait became longer and longer, I felt my heart begin to slow, and I worried less what was on the other side of the window as what was on my side of it. It was only at this moment that the smell of leather hit me.

One of the few things I loved about my years of forced enslavement to the boy scouts of america was the leather work. I’d gotten voted into the Order of the Arrow because my troop wanted to get rid of me. You see, even though I would still be part of our same region, I’d no longer be a part of our troop. I would become a part of the OA lodge and I would be meeting with them instead of my normal weekly meetings.

I joined the Order of the Arrow because of the leather work.

The Order of the Arrow is heavily steeped in pseudo indian ideals. That isn’t to say that everything we did was fake. My first OA only camp, they had a dance competition. These were traditional indian dances. Yeah, I know, you’re thinking of a bunch of white boys in scout uniforms with face paint on.

Before they began the hoop dance they inspected the costumes. The best of those was maid out of a soft deer hide that the scout himself had brain tanned before he sewed, shaped, and then applied beadwork to.

He later told me that he’d spent close to a thousand hours working on his costume in between practicing the dancing. Considering he could dance with up to 24 hoops, he spent a lot of time working on that as well.

If you hadn’t noticed, he was the first boy I had a crush on.

I’ll admit now that my leatherworking was a little girly. No, not that leatherworking is girly, but I did bright colors and flowers and such. For three years I did that until I turned eighteen a couple of weeks ago. You can’t really be a part of OA, or even Boy Scouts when you’re supposed to be a man.

I took a deep breath of the leather smell and just smiled. I saw the guys from Beta-Kappa-Tau run in front of the window and finally relaxed. While most greeks seemed to be pretty cool, the Tau’s, as everyone at school seemed to call them, were a throwback to an age that never was.

Allain, the guy I’d had a crush on was pledging with the Tau’s. I’d known that there was never really a chance for us, since I was a boy and he was a boy, but that didn’t change anything. I still liked him, and unfortunately one of his Tau brothers found out about it. They decided that a good proof of how ‘viable’ as a pledge he was would be for him to beat me half to death.

I was really beginning to rethink my ‘bright’ idea of following of following him to the school of his choice.

Well, not that it mattered now. For now I was safe. I began to look around the show floor. There seemed to be boots of every possible style from heavy steel toed work boots to ladies thigh high calfskin dress boots.

My hand went almost of its own volition to an absolutely beautiful pair of black boots. Before I could touch them, a man entered from the back of the store and started upon seeing me.

“You’re not supposed to be here. I didn’t expect to see you until…” his voice trailed off as he looked at the calendar on the wall. “...that’s neither here nor there. You’re here now. If you’d come...how can I help you Jody?”

I grimaced. That was part of the problem I’d always had. My parents liked the name, and theoretically it was a good boy’s name, in practice I went by Jay.

“I’m just hiding from the Tau’s,” I said. I didn’t know why, but this guy reminded me of my grandfather and made me feel safe. They looked nothing alike, but my grandfather had been the one who protected me from my father’s good intentions.

“Well, we can’t have that, now can we?” He hooked his arm in mine and began to escort me around the room. “So, Jody,” he said and patted the back of my hand, “what do you want? You’re here early so this time your purchase is up to you.”

Every time we came around the room, those black boots called out to me. They were exquisite. The tool work all over them was in abstract geometric shapes that formed into pictures as the light hit it from different angles.

“I want to be taller,” I said absently as I watched the boots as we walked.

“How much taller,” the old man asked.

“I want to be at least five ten. I hate being so short.”

“Four inches? That’s a lot,” the man says thoughtfully.

“I know, but it’s the only thing I want right now,” I said with a sad smile.

“Well, this is a challenge and I haven’t had one of those since...well since before you were born. Wait here. I’ll look in the back room for a moment.”

I took the opportunity to run my hands over the boots that kept calling me. Unlike a lot of the work I’d done, these marks seemed to be a perfect part of the leather. There was none of the roughness that I associated with tool work this deep and this intricate. I wondered if he’d polished it smooth after he marked it.

I was still absently running my hands over the leather.

“Those are for a very special customer. Special order. She’s been looking for a pair just like it all her life.”

Hearing this made me sad. I knew that they were likely girl’s boots, but I could dream. He handed me a large, heavy, box. The first thing I noticed is that this wasn’t a cardboard box. It was a light wood, likely pine, and had a couple of light hinges on it.

I set the box down on the counter and opened the latch and then opened the box. Inside, cradled in black velvet were a pair of boots. There was a two inch sole under the toes of the boot and the heel was about four inches tall. All told, it would be like a pair of two inch heels on a platform.

They looked so small until I realized that it was just the angle of the shoe. Not that it was really that severe, just more severe than any other shoe I’d ever used.

I slipped out of my tennis shoes and into the boots. They fit better than any shoes or boots I had ever tried on. They felt as though they had been made just for me. I rolled the cuff of my too large jeans down. The hem brushed the floor leaving only the square toe of the boot showing and hiding the large square heel.

“Why the pants?”

“I always liked the way that they looked rolled up. Mom was always sure that I was going to spring up four inches overnight, so she bought me pants with a longer inseam. I never did, though, get taller I mean. I just got used to buying jeans with a longer leg.”

“Well, I’d say you just grew four inches overnight now.”

We smiled at each other.

“How much do I owe you for these?” It was strange. For some reason I felt so much more confident about myself. I was still only up to the chin of this man, but at least I was looking at his chin and not his sternum.

“We’ll settle up next time. Think of these as a trial pair.”

“Thank you, Mr…”

‘Harrelson. Henry Harrelson.”

“Thank you Mr. Harrelson,” I said and took his hand lightly. He smiled at me and I just felt a glow erupt in me. I liked the way he looked at me. Not that I was crushing on this old guy, but I liked how he saw me as a person and not this short guy that everyone literally looked down on.

I ducked my head and turned to leave. I was halfway to the door when a thought struck me. “How do you know I’ll be back?”

“We’re not done, you and I. I still have another pair of boots for you when you’re ready.”

I just laughed at that and waved as I went through the door. He was a strange old man, but he was a good one.

I walked confidently through the door and fluffed out my shoulder length hair as I did. Sure, I might run into the Tau’s again, but that would be later. For now, I had a new pair of boots and a bounce in my step.

***
“Excuse me, Miss, but can I help you?”

I was walking into my dorm, not really paying attention to anything around me. Sure, I was only four inches taller, but I had a different perspective on the world. I made a step toward the stairs and someone grabbed my arm. “Miss?”

I turned to look at the RA, “What’s up, Felix?”

“Oh, Jody, sorry, I totally thought...never mind,” Felix was blushing and looking anywhere but at me.

“What is it,” I said, putting a hand on his arm.

“You kinda look like a girl. I never noticed it before, but I was totally checking out your butt.”

It was my turn to blush, “Let’s just not mention this to anyone else,” I said and turned to leave. Felix nodded emphatically and went back to his seat near his room.

I shook my head and smiled. I climbed the stairs up to the fourth floor, where freshman were living this year, and headed down to my room. I heard some wolf whistles behind me and turned to look. Every time I did I caught sight of one of my fellow students going white and slinking back into his room.

What was with them...the boots that was the only thing that was different. For some reason people saw me as a girl when I wore them. The heel was only two inches...but was that enough. Did it change my posture that much?

Sadly I slipped off my new boots and put them in the closet. I only realized then that I’d left my shoes at the boot shop. These were the only pair of footwear I currently owned. I lay back on my bed and screamed at the ceiling in frustration.

My door burst open and a girl maybe a year or two older than me rushed in, “Are you okay?”

“I left my shoes at the store and walked out in these,” I said gesturing toward my boots.

A boy about my own age slipped into the room, “They’re cute,” he said with a shy smile.

“I was hoping for bad ass, actually. Mostly I got them because I hate being so short.”

“Those skyscrapers have to be at least four inches tall,” the girl exclaimed, “how short are you.”

“Five-six.” I said sullenly.

“That’s not all that short. I’m Amy by the way.”

“Jody,” I said in response, offering my hand. She took it lightly and we barely shook them.

“Tim,” said the boy. He held onto my hand longer than was strictly necessary.

“Tim,” the girl said, “she’s probably here visiting her boyfriend. Excuse my brother, he’s a walking hormone.”

“I don’t have a boyfriend...I mean I’m not here...this is my room.”

“Your…” they both look at me like I’m some sort of freak. Shock suffused their features and I could almost watch as everything finally connected for them.

“You’re a boy,” Amy said at the same time that Tim said, “there’s no way you’re a boy.”

The looked at each other and laughed weakly.

“Yes, I’m a boy.”

“But those boots,” Amy said.

“What about the boots?” I said, growing confused.

“Those are girl’s boots,” she said.

I had a sinking feeling and the blood drained from my face. Then I flushed bright red as I realized what they were saying. If it walks like a duck...and I’m sure that I was quacking loud and clear while I wore those boots.

“I have no shoes,” I said in despair.

“What size do you wear?” Tim said. He reached out a hand a couple of times, as if he were trying to comfort me, or something. The strangest thing was that I wouldn’t have minded it about now.

“Eight.”

“Women’s?” Amy said looking at my feet.

“No, men’s. I know, I have tiny feet.”

Amy grabbed the boot and turned it over. “This says it’s a size nine.”

“Well, it fits me perfectly.”

“Must mean that you wear a women’s size nine. That’s about average, I think. At least I wear a nine and I’m only about an inch taller than you.”

“Great, so all I needed to do to find a variety of adult shoes in my size was to buy women’s shoes? Awesome,” I said sarcastically.

“No offense, but aren’t you already buying women’s jeans?” Tim said. He was blushing, and I realized that he’d been checking me out. That same glow from earlier at Mr. Harrelson’s shop erupted in me. He’d been looking at me...and by his blush he’d liked what he’d seen.

I looked down at my toes just peaking out from under my pooled jeans and I had to admit, I didn’t really look like a guy. It’s seen so many barefoot girls in highschool who looked exactly the same when they took off their shoes because the skyscraper...oh.

I sat down on my bed with my toes pointed so they would reach the floor and put my elbows on my knees so I could hide my face in my hands. Somehow, intentionally or unintentionally, and I was beginning to believe that there was a lot of things I did subconsciously that was not entirely masculine, I had purchased a pair of skyscraper boots and loved the feeling of wearing them.

Tim began to fidget and then rushed out of the room saying something about needing to leave. I watched him leave. He had a nice butt I thought and smiled to myself.

“Did you just check my brother out?”

“What? No, I didn’t,” I began to blush again and tried to hide my face in my hands.

“There’s nothing to be ashamed of, Jody. He has a cute butt.”

“But I’m a guy…” I began.

“You may be male, all evidence to the contrary, but you were never a guy.”

“I was in boy scouts. I joined the Order of the Arrow.”

“The huh what?”

“It’s a boy’s leadership organization in the boy scouts. See, I did this.”

I pulled out my book bag to show her the beadwork on it. the strap was in a dark leather with a daisy design tooled into the leather. The bag itself had thousands of beads stitched onto it. It was one of my more abstract pieces, but I could see the images I put there.

I looked up after examining it for a while with a little smile on my face. Amy was trying not to laugh. “That is a beautiful...purse.”

“What, no it’s not...” I looked at it critically for a moment or two and realized she was right. This bag I’d been carrying with me everywhere for a year and a half was a purse. I might carry a dollar or two with me, and my ID of course, when I left it behind, but all of my essentials were in my bag...I had a purse.

“How long have you been transgendered?”

“I’m not transgendered,” I tried to say but the words just wouldn’t come out of my mouth. I opened my mouth to speak and say something else in denial. Sure, I knew the term, who really didn’t. Some might still have preconceptions about what it means, but the media is doing it’s best so that people are at least familiar with what it means. The problem was that in my own mind it had never applied to me.

“I just thought I was gay,” I said in a quiet little voice.

“And there’s a problem with that?” Amy said with mock severity.

“No, I was just...turned off by…”

She looked at me curiously.

“I know I’m attracted to guys, but the idea of what...of a guy sticking his...ewe.”

“Join the club.”

“Huh?”

“A lot of girls I know don’t like the thought of someone invading the back yard. Not all, mind you, and with the right guy I’ve heard that even just lying there next to him fully clothed can be magical, but some, me included can’t stand the thought of it.”

“But I’m not…”

Amy sighed and rolled her eyes. “Jody, you are a girl,” she said with emphasis on each word, “The sooner you come to grips with it, the better everyone is going to be. Get your boots on.”

In a daze I slipped on my boots. I had a half smile on the whole time because I had never had a pair of footwear ever fit me like these boots did. When I was done and had pulled my pants into place she handed me my purse and walked to my door.

“Where are we going?” I said, my heart pounding in my chest.

“Out on the campus.”

“But the Tau’s…” I began.

“What about the Tau’s?”

“They are sort of trying to beat me up.”

“Why those bigoted...it’s time I set them straight...again.”

Amy was a force of nature. She walked out of that room and expected me to follow her. I did. We walked quickly across the campus, but not quick enough that I didn’t have time to examine how I walked.

Before, I’d been so engrossed with how different my perspective was that I’d missed how the boots changed me. There was a sway to my walk, a shifting of the hips, that came naturally while wearing those boots.

I became aware of the fact that my jeans were tight. No, not in a way of me becoming aroused or anything. I just wore my jeans a little tight. I was never one to go in for baggy pants, and my jeans were like a constant hug.

It suddenly dawned on me what Tim and Felix must have been looking at and my knees gave out on me and I stumbled.

“Are you okay,” Amy asked me, looking concerned.

“I just realized that my jeans are too tight.”

“They’re…”

“Guys can check out my ass,” I said in a whisper.

Amy just laughed and offered me a hand to help me up. “It’s better than them talking to your chest. At least when they check out your behind it’s behind your back and you can be ‘blissfully ignorant’.”

I laughed when she used the air quotes. When I thought back to the times I’d realized that Tim was checking me out, I’d liked it. I wanted to be taller so people could look me in the eye. I could see how them talking down to a chest I didn’t even have yet could…

I realized that I’d thought yet when I thought about having something more than the flat expanse nature had blessed me with.

Amy leaned over to me and whispered, “that guy with the cute butt is totally checking you out.”

I turned my head and caught the guy in question smiling in my direction and I just laughed and hid my face in my hair. “Wow, girl, you are a natural long distance flirt.” Amy got out before another voice interjected itself into my domain of hair and darkness.

“Hi, I’m Jason.”

“Hello, Jason,” Amy said, “I’m Amy and the faux-shy one here is Jody.”

“Jody...pretty name for a pretty girl.”

That was enough to bring me out of my sanctuary. “Does that line ever work?” I said looking directly at him.

“You’ll have to let me know. That’s the first time I ever used it.”

My breathing caught in my chest when he smiled.

“We have to go, Jason.” Amy said taking my arm and propelling me into motion.

“Nice meeting you,” he said as we walked away.

“But...smile,” I said marginally intelligibly trying half heartedly to go back to Jason.

“Girl, you can’t handle the smile.”

I giggled at that, and Amy joined in with me.

“Jody, seriously, you need to be careful.”

“Why…” it suddenly dawned on me that I’d been acting normal. No, that’s not exactly right. I’d been acting like a normal girl. Naturally, without artifice, I had slipped into the role that felt natural to me.

“Because, Jody, you're not everything you seem yet.”

I thought about her words the rest of the way across campus. It’s not as if we walked in silence. We talked about the guys and girls we were passing bye, and I flirted a little with some of them, the guys I mean, but I toned it down, intentionally, so that none of them came over like Jason did.

The fear began to creep up on me again as we neared greek row. Their house had Betta-Kappa-Tau in greek letters above the porch. Amy marched right up the steps and into the front room, grabbing me by the arm when I hesitated at the doorway and dragging me along.

“George, get your ass down here now!” Amy yelled as soon as we got into their living room.

“Amy!” he said happily until he caught sight of the look on her face. “Aims...whatever it is we didn’t do it.”

“Sorry, but this time you did. Sure, you like to come off as the big tough frat on campus, but Jody here is terrified of you guys.”

“Jody?” Allain said from the doorway just having come in with a group of pledges.

“You’re Jody,” George said, “Crap, um, sorry man, I didn’t mean...um, what did I say now, Aims.”

“Jody is a girl.”

“I thought you said,” George began.

“I’ve seen you naked,” Allain began. “Jody is male, I’m sure of it.”

“And she’s a girl,” Amy said forcefully looking pointedly at George.

“Oh,” George said, “Allain, the requirement is off the table. Sorry for scaring you, Jody. We just wanted to have Allain kiss you. We thought it would be hilarious, but now that we know...sorry, we didn’t mean to scare you.”

I looked at George in shock and then over at Allain and he nodded a little.

“Oh, is that all,” I said with a little smile. I sauntered over to Allain and looked up into his blue eyes. I whispered at him, “You better make it good, I’ve never been kissed before,” I said with a little smile.

He took me in his arms and the world went away. Good, bad, indifferent, I have no idea what that kiss was, all I know is that it was wonderful and it seemed to last forever.

When he finally let me go I stumbled a bit before I regained my composure. Everyone of those guys was staring at me with a slightly glazed look in his eyes. I finger waved at Allain and followed Amy out the door.

The cheering didn’t start until we got out of sight. I could hear them congratulating Allain about something, but before I could really figure out what it was Amy linked her arm with mine and said, “those boots should be registered as a deadly weapon.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Hon, you completely killed every guy in that room. I know the ‘guy’ I met in the room this evening would never have done that. Somehow those boots give you a confidence in your femininity without any conscious thought on your part.”

“I still don’t get…”

“You laid claim to that boy in there.”

“He kissed me.”

“Oh, is that how you see it. From where I stood it looked like a lot of cooperative tonsil hockey was going on.”

I blushed at that but I got a goofy grin on my face all the same.

“I know how powerful it can be letting the world know who you are for the first time. There are a lot of traps, though, so let me help you. Girls like us need to stick together.”

“Girls like…” I looked at her questioningly and she just smiled’

***
The boots had stood the test of time. They were not quite as black as they used to be. I did my best to keep them polished and well taken care of, but eventually leather just wears out. I walked back into Harrelsons with my purse on my shoulder wearing a flirty peasant skirt and a denim jacket.

“Jody, how nice to see you again.”

“Hello, Mr. Harrelson.”

“So, done being taller?”

“Oh no, but I need a new pair of boots. for some reason these only lasted me for a couple of years.”

“Constant wear will do that. I have just the pair of boots in the back.”

I smiled at him as he walked through the door into the store room. He came back with a cardboard box and set it on the counter for me. I opened it and gasped. Inside were the same pair of boots that I’d loved when I’d first been in the shop a couple of years ago.

“But you said…”

“That these were a special order for a special girl? Indeed they are. They’re yours, Jody.”

I quickly slipped out of my old worn boots and slipped into those perfect boots. I hadn’t noticed before how the patterns on the boots matched the patterns on my purse in all but color.

“That will be thirty dollars, dear.”

“Thirty each?”

“No, I could never charge you for those old worn out boots. Just for the new ones.” I paid him and thanked him and walked out the door.

I linked arms with my boyfriend and he gave me a peck on the cheek. “So, what was this all about,” he asked me.

“Oh, just getting another pair of perfect boots,” I lifted my skirt up to my knees and stuck out my foot. “You like?”

“You know I love looking at your legs,” he said with a smile.

“Tim!” I heard a voice call from behind us and turned to see Amy rushing up, “Jody? Wow, you look spectacular.”

I laughed at that. She’d been there to help pick out the outfit after all. I knew from her that Tim had been ring shopping recently. We wanted me to look perfect today because he had a lot of things planned he wouldn’t tell me about and Amy and I thought...well, here’s hoping.

She looked at me and then glanced at my left hand. I gave a slight shake of the head and she frowned.

“Hey, Aims, they called our number,” George said from in front of a restaurant.

“Let’s walk you over. I have reservations so we can all go in at the same time.”

We parted inside and the waiter lead us to our table. I felt perfectly feminine sitting there, chatting with Tim. The boots only perfected it. My previous boots, the first pair of Harrelson’s that I’d worn had been in between. Sure, they let everyone, including me, see that I was a girl, but their style was so...neutral. Over the past two years there had been so many times that I switched into other, more feminine shoes. Things that just went when this or that outfit better. For daily wear, I always went back to the Harrelson’s of course, but there were those occasions. These boots, though…

I felt like I was dressed up just wearing these boots. I might not get the same amount of wear out of these as I did with the other Harrelson’s...well then again, I did love to dress up, and these new boots gave me the excuse.

The food was as good as the company, even with the small portion I allowed myself. I’d take the rest home and snack on it for a couple of days to remember this night all the better. Smell is great for memory, and taste is linked to smell...you know what I mean.

Tim dropped something on the floor, and I looked over at him in alarm and he got out of his chair to retrieve it. Before I could even react he’d opened up a small velvet box. I didn’t hear what he said, and it went on a while. The ring mesmerized me.

I looked into his face and saw the expectant look that lived there. I just nodded and he took me in his arms and kissed me.