Uncoordinated as I was in my six-month-old state, getting free of the bear's embrace was pretty near impossible. It clung to me as I rolled, impervious to my attempts to shake it loose. I did my best to push it off with my tiny arms, but it held fast. And the more trapped I felt, the more frightened I became.

"Really, Jack," it protested, appearing surprised at my reaction,"Why so upset? I thought you wanted a hug!"

Truth be told, all I wanted at that point was to get as far away from the thing as I could. I had learned a valuable lesson that morning, and was doing my best to prove that my earlier stupidity was indeed curable. If that bear was a reality-bending demon thing, I wanted nothing to do with it. Period. Bad enough I was stuck as a baby girl because I was foolish enough to think I could deal with one of these creatures and not get burned. Who knows what the hell else could happen to me? Or my wife? Or my kids?

I opened my mouth to cry, thinking Gina or one of the others could get this thing off of me, but I shut it just as fast. I couldn't put them in danger just to save me from this, I thought. I wouldn't put it past the bitch thing to hurt them if she thought it would buy her something.

"OH!" The bear immediately released me, and I rolled clear, shaking and panting. As I struggled to sit up, I noticed that the damned toy had scared the crap out of me, literally -- along with everything else in my digestive tract. I sighed, debated what position I should put myself in, and gingerly twisted myself around until I was on my hands and knees again. I had no illusions about being able to crawl away from HER, but until I managed to get a diaper change, there was no way I was sitting down -- and I sure as hell didn't want to be on my belly or back with one of these things in the room.

"A thousand apologies, Jack," it said, making weird motions with its paws. It took me a second, but I realized it was trying to wring its non-existent hands. It might have worked if the bear HAD hands -- or if the bear's stubby arms could actually reach each other. "I had no idea you thought I was the Other. I didn't mean to frighten you."

"Well, you did a hell of a job, whoever you are," I shot back, still panting. Then stopped. I could talk normally -- sort of. My new voice was very high-pitched, and sounded sort of familiar. I reached back into my memory and came up with an unlikely candidate.

"A Smurf?" I said. The bear nodded as best it could without a neck, and I sighed. The only girl Smurf, if I remembered correctly, although for the life of me I couldn't remember her name.

"Smurfette, actually," the bear replied without being asked. "Not a conscious choice on anyone's part, I assure you. Just how your adult female voice would sound given a child's larynx and vocal apparatus. We thought you might be pleased to abandon the pidgin English the Other had cursed you with. Especially considering how hard it was for you to actually use what she gave you effectively."

"Terrific," I muttered, then stopped again. "Damn! I'm not supposed to be talking at all in front of the people here," I hissed, and the bear gave a little smile.

"Do you see anyone noticing?" It asked, and waved a paw.

Sure enough, as I looked around, I saw no one paying Becca and the bear the slightest bit of attention. Unlike my previous encounter with one of these things, time went on, but events occurred around us without anyone nearby noticing anything different at all.

"Not as flashy as stopping time," the bear sniffed, as if it was disgusted at the very thought, "but we aren't here to impress ourselves with our own power. Or you either, comes to think of it. Stealth is our watchword, or should be."

"What exactly are you doing?" I asked, peering around at life passing in real time.

"We've created what you'd call an avoidance field. It basically makes anyone in the area choose not to look at this particular spot, or even notice us until we allow them to. Their eyes just pass right over and move on." The bear huffed back into a sitting position, and invited me to do the same. I shook my head.

"Thank you, no. It's bad enough I have to wear a diaper, worse yet that you scared me into using the damned thing. Last thing I need is to sit in it. The day's bad enough as it is."

"Again, my apologies, Jack," the bear said, managing to look a little sheepish. It wrinkled its nose and I was once again clean. I nodded my thanks, and, after much rolling and twisting, assumed a sitting position. The bear waited politely until I was through.

"As I said," it continued apologetically, "I never meant to frighten you. I thought you wanted a hug and I gave you one. I never realized you would mistake me for Her."

"Well, my experience with magical creatures in the real world is somewhat limited. You're only the second one I've ever met."

"Really? My word, that is impressive." The bear shook its head. "To do what you did with such limited experience. I've seen mages with hundreds of years of dealing with the Otherworld fall prey to its denizens through lack of just the caution and intelligence you displayed this morning."

I snorted, which is no mean trick with a nose as small as the one I'd inherited.

"No, really! I actually came by to offer my congratulations."

"Congratulations?"

"Yes."

"For what? Making a damned fool of myself?"

"First, for figuring out what HER game was. You'd be surprised how many mortals let themselves become totally convinced the Other's goal is noble, just because they want it to be."

I shook my head. "I fell for some of that, myself."

The bear nodded. "Only some of it, Jack. But you knew from the start something wasn't right, and you kept working at it under tremendous pressure until you figured out what she was up to. That doesn't happen very often. You are -- were -- a singular man."

I blushed, and said nothing. The bear looked at me with a small smile, and nodded again.

"I also wanted to congratulate you on the choice you made. You did the right thing, Jack, and you have no idea how truly rare that is. Most of the other humans throughout history who were smart enough to get the Others to reveal their intent ... well, they abandoned their families and friends to the mercy of the Others without a second thought. They didn't give a damn what happened to the people who cared for them, as long as they got what they thought they deserved. Once you realized what was happening, you turned down the offer without a thought. That took courage."

"Not really." I shrugged. "I couldn't let it hurt my family. I couldn't let it use me to hurt them, for any price. I couldn't live with myself if I did. I don't see that makes me special. I don't see that I had any other choice, but thanks for the compliment."

"Honor, then," the bear insisted, holding up a paw. "A victory of love and honor over greed."

I looked at the bear for a long time, and finally sighed. "I won't argue the point. If someone wants to see me as something more than a damned idiot, I would be a fool twice over to argue with them. Still, I did wind up sitting here in a diaper for the foreseeable future making goo-goo noises while SHE roams free to do this to some other idiot. And my family is still hurting, even though I did the right thing." I looked down at my tiny feet and sighed again. "As victories go, it kinda sucks, don't you think?"

"As a matter of fact, we do."

I looked up at it, slightly annoyed. "Well, who are you, anyway? And why do you keep saying 'we?' I only see one of you, and I'm sorry to be the one to tell you, but if you're using the royal 'we,' you're looking a little worse for wear, 'Teddy.' Not exactly majestic, if you catch my drift."

The bear tsked at me, and its chubby face twisted in a parody of irritation. "Really, Jack. I'm surprised at you. The 'we' is not royal. I represent a group -- one you should be familiar with. Don't you recognize my voice? After all, it wasn't that long ago that you heard it last."

He held up a paw with a dramatic flourish, and I heard it again. That bell, or gong, followed by a voice I finally recognized as his. "Spoken and witnessed, you are bound in these dealings. Break this oath on fear of punishment most foul."

I thought it through. He waited, his paw still in the air. "So," I said slowly, "you're ... the referee?"

It nodded. "For want of a better term, yes. And it's referees, actually. We are the Arbiters of all dealings in magick, great and small." The paw came down as his chin lifted, and he looked down his long snout at me. "Bargains can be struck without our intervention, of course, but not without our knowledge. Only true idiots deal in reality-altering magicks without invoking the oath, since in those dealings humans are essentially turning control of their own reality to a supernatural entity. Our judgments are true and our punishments absolute, and too terrible to contemplate. Oath-breakers have nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. We are the law, and our justice is swift and without mercy."

I snorted again. I was starting to get good at it. He shot me a look full of disapproval, and I lowered my eyes. "I'm sorry, Your Honor," I said softly, "but the oath didn't seem to help me much. She still managed to trick me in the end."

"That oath, infant," he said menacingly, "is the only reason I am here. It took a certain presence of mind to push the Other into invoking the oath. Usually, they avoid it like the plague. It called our particular attention to you. If that oath had not been given and witnessed, we would never have seen your courage and strength, and felt compelled to act."

"Act?" Suddenly the world became very quiet, like the silence you experience just after a heavy snowfall.

"Yes, act. You have earned the respect of the Arbiters, and that means we can grant you some measure of peace, and save you from some of the consequences of your dealings with the Other."

My mouth became very dry, and I felt the world spinning, just a little. This was what hope feels like, I thought, when it creeps up behind you and smacks you hard upside the head. I struggled to hold it together, to try and keep myself from falling too fast.

"But ... but the one who revealed himself to my wife this morning, the one who has been living off of our happiness," I stuttered, "he said he could not reverse what had been done."

"That is correct," the bear said. "He could not reverse it, and neither can we." It leaned over and touched my arm with a paw. "The oath is very specific. 'A bargain struck is a bargain made.' And although the demo was not part of the deal you were negotiating with HER, it was a separate bargain nonetheless ­-- one created specifically with a loophole you didn't see ... or rather, didn't hear. So none of us can change you back to the Jack you were. All the one who fed from your joy could do was create a place for what you have become in What Is." The bear sighed. "Even doing that had its price, for him. I suppose that's why the universe allowed him to do it."

"A price?"

"Oh, yes. His kind live off of what you would facetiously call 'free range happiness.' They feed on joy that occurs naturally, as opposed to happiness manufactured by magick. The joy eater did what he did for you all out of love for your family, and in recognition of the tremendous debt he owed you for years of sustenance. But as a result, he has had to leave you to forage for happiness elsewhere. Any joy your family creates from now on will be tainted by his gift. It was a difficult choice for him, but one we were proud of all the same."

I bowed my head, embarrassed by his gift. "He tried to save me, tried to warn my wife. He showed her and the children what was happening."

"Well, that was hardly as heroic as you make it sound," the bear smiled, just a little. "After all, it was as much about protecting his food source as it was protecting you. But sacrificing his connection to your family to make it easier for you all to go on ... that has value beyond measure, and we will not forget."

There was a long pause, then I spoke, asking the question I couldn't hold back from asking. "If you can't reverse the change ... what exactly can you do?"

The bear started to speak, then stopped. It sat up very straight, then cocked its head as if listening to something far away.

"No," it breathed, almost in shock. Then its voice changed to a angry growl. "No!"

I opened my mouth to ask what was wrong, and the bear collapsed in a heap, like a puppet with its strings cut. The Arbiter was gone, just like that.

###

"Aw ... bit... ur?" I said tentatively. Damn, I thought. Back to the stammer and grind. Just as well. I hated having to make the extra effort to make myself understood, but it also made it more difficult to speak too well in front of someone outside the family. Considering how my luck has been going, at least this voice could support the argument that I was just a precocious six-month-old and not an underdone midget with delusions of Smurfhood.

"Hey Becca becca!" Gina arms swooped down and spun me around in the air. I squealed, half frightened as the word spun around me. Then she stopped and pulled me close, her face only inches from mine.

"Where on Earth have you been, little one? Here all the time?" I smiled, thinking she got it right the first try. She smiled back, and rubbed my nose with hers. "Well, you're the best hider I've ever seen, baby. And I love that smile."

She held me so I could just peek over her shoulder and carried me over to a high chair, where she put me down and buckled me in tight. Gina walked over to my cubby and pulled out a pink plastic bib, and tied it around my neck with a flourish.

"Snack time, Becca," she said melodically. I noticed several other infants sitting in high chairs, being tended by others. The toddlers had apparently just finished eating, and had gone off to a story time in the play area. I could see them all sitting in a circle around an older woman reading them a book. I turned back to see a spoon coming at me, and I opened my mouth reflexively and closed it around the spoon.

Sweet and sour hit me at the same time, and I shuddered. Apricots. I opened my mouth and tried to push them out with my tongue, but Gina kept spooning them right back in as they passed my lips. With a mental sigh, I accepted the apricots and swallowed. Gina gave me a big smile.

"See, baby?" she said happily, preparing another spoon. "Isn't solid food wonderful? I knew you'd like apricots."

Oh yeah, I thought unhappily. Just love 'em.

When the little jar was finished, she wiped my mouth off and took off my bib. Then she took me over to the rocker where we had sat earlier that morning, and I saw the bottle in her hand.

"Now I know you love this, little one."  She settled down and held me in the crook of her arm, then placed the nipple in my mouth. I closed my eyes, heaved a sigh, and started sucking. The liquid just slid into me, and my mouth did all the work without me having to think twice. I tried to think about the Arbiter's sudden disappearance, and his last words, but the sucking and the warm milk and the feel of Gina's body pressed against mine had me asleep before I even noticed I was sleepy.

###

I woke up suddenly, and found myself staring up at a ceiling I had never seen before, surrounded by bars. Just above my head was a mobile with a stampede of unicorns and a flight of cute girl fairies hanging from it in pastel colors. I was still a little sleep-befuddled, and I turned my head. Another baby slept in the crib next door, and the lights seemed to be turned down low.

I guess it's naptime, I thought. I wonder if I made it through that bottle. I moved my legs slightly and felt the damp in my diaper. Oh yeah. I finished it all right. And apparently I can't hold anything in when I'm asleep. This baby thing just gets better and better.

But for all the uncomfortable wetness, I wasn't keen on attracting attention. I had some thinking to do, and as addictive as Gina's smile was, I always had to be Becca with her, and I needed my inner Jack right now.

The Arbiter had just ... gone. Slipped out of the bear and ran. But he didn't look afraid. I shook my head. Like I can read the expressions on the face of a stuffed bear, I thought. But you could, I insisted. First he was shocked. Then he was angry. Then he was gone.

Something had happened that he really didn't like. If it was enough to disturb someone with as much power as he seemed to possess, it couldn't be good. Nevertheless, he seemed about to offer me a hand, although he did take quite a while to explain why I couldn't be Jack again.

Apparently, there was a whole slew of rules, checks, and balances to these magical transactions. As if the system had developed over millennia to control the power of those who could change reality on a whim. I could imagine the threat to the continuity of the Universe these magical creatures represented. Rules had to be created or chaos would overwhelm the natural order. And Arbiters had to be created to enforce the rules, since mere ethical integrity wouldn't stop something like the demon thing from doing whatever it wanted to get its way. I'm sure it hated the rules, but obeyed them because the Universe gave it very little choice. Apparently. the alternative was too frightening to bear.

So what would make the Arbiter react that way? I turned it over in my head, but got nothing. And none of this seemed to fit any known conception of how the universe works. In short, I didn't know enough. I snorted. That's nothing new, I thought. All I can do is wait.

The lights came back on above, and I saw Gina come over to my crib and look down on me. I looked up at her and smiled in spite of myself.

"Awake, baby?" The smile was in her voice as much as on her face. She picked me up and felt the bottom of my diaper, and made a little face, "Oh, is Becca wet? And you didn't make a sound! What a good girl you are. Must be icky for you. We'll fix it fast, though, don't worry."

And she did, too, taking me over to the changing table nearest my cubby, cleaning me up and putting me in a clean diaper with the fast professionalism of someone who has changed hundreds in the course of her career. It was a bit embarrassing to me at first, but as she worked, I realized it wasn't like it was with the demon thing at all. The Other was trying deliberately to humiliate me and show me how powerless I was. To Gina, my powerlessness was her reason for being. It was her job to care for me, since I couldn't care for myself. And she seemed to really like me. Keeping me fresh and clean was just part of what she had to do to keep me happy, and I could tell from her attitude that she enjoyed her work.

I kept that in mind while the day progressed.

More play time for a while after lunch. I practiced crawling, set myself some goals, and barreled through. Gina was overjoyed I had mastered the moving thing. I grinned a toothless grin. Anything that makes her smile is a plus. I kept close to the bear, though, in case the Arbiter made a surprise reappearance.

Lunchtime was some kind of oatmeal, made with breast milk from the bottles Carolyn brought. I was okay with it. Tasted different from the last oatmeal I had eaten, but it beat apricots, so I didn't even fight.

After food, another bottle in the rocker, another long nap. When I woke the second time, I was pretty messy and not at all happy about it. I found that Becca possessed an awesome howl that elicited an immediate response. Gina clicked her tongue at me and whisked me to the changing table, then brought me back to the play area for more crawling practice. I was thankful for the naps, since the crawling used a lot of energy that this body just didn't have yet. Eventually I lay down on top of the bear to rest for a minute, hoping it would rumble to life once more.

The bear said nothing. I worried a little, but dismissed it with a shake of my little red head and a wave of my pudgy hand. The Arbiters had a universe full of magic users to monitor and police. They would get back to me when time permitted, and truthfully, I was okay with it. I wouldn't say I was happy, but I wasn't miserable, and that surprised me. I had thought I would be in a state of constant embarrassment and humiliation from the minute Carolyn and I walked through the front doors, but eventually I realized I had nothing to be embarrassed or humiliated about.

Gina didn't see a grown man. She saw a baby girl. They all did. I needed caring for, and they did it happily, because they liked caring for little ones or they wouldn't be here.

As I thought more about it, I realized that this wasn't really torture. It would get pretty boring being baby Becca all the time, but it wasn't painful, and Gina's smile more than made up for being changed and fed. It even made up for the Apricots, and I hated them since the last time I wore diapers. And eventually Carolyn would come to take me home, and I could talk about her day and find out how things were with the children. Normalcy waited for me, or something close to it, at the end of the day, so I watched the clock and waved goodbye to the other babies when their parents came and took them home.

It was five minutes to six, and I was one of the few infants left. Carolyn came through the door like a whirlwind, and handed Gina a box of wipes.

"And how was my Becca today, Gina?" Carolyn was happy, a big smile on her face as she took me in her arms and rubbed my nose with hers.

"She was terrific, ma'am," Gina said. "Ate all her apricots at snack-time without much of a fuss, and practiced crawling most of the day. You should have seen her scooting across the floor."

Carolyn smiled at her and kissed my nose. "I'm sure I'll get my own demonstration tonight at home. If Becca's discovered a love for crawling, she's going to need more watching anyway."

Carolyn signed me out, took the empty bottles from Gina and put them in her purse, and waved a cheery goodbye as we left.

"Hi, Mommy," I started to say. But what came out sounded more like "heyah bah dah dee bah." I closed my mouth with a snap.

"Talkative tonight, baby?" she said, a smile in her voice. "I can't wait until you start saying words, and then sentences. And you're so smart, that's going to happen soon, I just know it."

Huh? I was shocked into silence for a moment, just long enough for Carolyn to slip me into the car seat and buckle me in.

"But I can talk!" My brain formed the words and sent them towards my mouth, but what came out was "Bububububu AWK."

She kissed my forehead and closed the car door, and I kicked my legs in frustration. Why was Carolyn treating me like I had always been Becca? And what had happened to my voice?

The bear took away the upgrade it gave me, but I had tested my voice afterward, and I could still talk like Cindy Brady after one too many six packs. From what I knew, the only one who could take away what was given was the thing who gave it in the first place.

So if it was gone ...

My blood ran cold.

"Yes, Jack. It was me." That voice. I looked up into the mirror over my head and saw the face of the demon bitch smiling back at me.

Why? I thought furiously, and kicked my feet again.

"Because I want to make you suffer," she purred. "And because you won't be needing it anymore. It will take you a year until you start putting the vocabulary together that a real baby uses, and I'll be loving every minute of it. Think of it! The great communicator, reduced to nothing but babble for a whole year. And then just 'Momma, Babba, Up!' for another year after that. It's priceless."

Carolyn knows I'm in here, I replied hotly in my head. She'll find a way --

"Oh, but she won't." The bitch smiled. "Because she doesn't know you're in there anymore. Neither do the children."

That wasn't part of our agreement! I was stunned.

"Oh no, baby," she cooed. "That was part of my bargain this morning. The one I made with Carolyn."

I was speechless ... so to speak.