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Sorry for my recent absence folks. It seems whenever things start to get better they get worse. 2 weeks ago my laptop finally decided to call it quits leaving me unable to do much writing or posting. Add to that another death of someone close to me and I've been in a bad way.
Mike N. was the only friend I had in my graduating class. He took me for who I was and not what I was. He was handsome, charming, and smart and could have been one of the most popular guys in school but he chose to hang out with me; the awkward, androgynous goth kid who was more girl than guy. He was my best friend through high school and college and even when he met his future wife he always made time for me. I for my part tried not to get between them once I saw how happy they were together and I never got to tell him that I loved him as more than a friend.
I have been depressed and crying since I found out he died last week and although I am so very sad to lose him one cannot think of Mike and remember bad times, with him there were none. I remember beings squeezed next to him in his pickup whenever we went places with other friends and just being happy being so close to him, I remember sitting on the couch with him and making fun of crappy movies and talking about what we wanted to do with out lives, but most of all I remember his smile. There was nothing else like it to me at that time as it was full of warmth and genuine affection. We hadn't seen each other in person in a few years, mostly just online but I had wanted to see him again. I just kept telling myself we'll plan something later, I just didn't know later wasn't going to come.
He was the kindest and most giving man I have ever known except for my current boy/girlfriend. He never hurt anyone was a good husband and father and constantly gave back to the community. He was taken from us far too soon at the age of 39 in need of an organ transplant and my heart goes out to his wife Heather and their daughter Victoria as they must be hurting even more than I am. You'll be missed Mike.
I will try to get back into posting asap but writing and posting will be slow without a properly working laptop as I will have to use Martin's computer when s/he is not until I can replace it.
Comments
My heart goes out to you and your dear friend
Somehow he saw past the facade and/or was at heart a truly decent person and didn't care a inch about popularity and what the crowd of human cattle felt about you.
Honor his memory and if possible extend a hand of friendship to his widow and child. Not in any romantic way, that likely would be a disaster, but as someone who knew him back when and has a clue to the pain they feel.
Could even be an arm's length relationship, just letters mostly .
Do you have any photos of him she might not?
I suspect they would be treasured.
Grieve then come back to us.
I have found including lost ones I loved as characters in my stories or at least as an influence/inspiration... even simply dedicating a story to them is cathartic.
Some of my favorite characters I created are based on my mother's sister, family pets, childhood friends an unrequited love interest or two and so on.
Joanie in Timeout is part Bob Arnold's heroine from Zapped, a bit of Maggie's Fey/Nikki from the Whateley Academy universe, several other characters from lit/film and a heavy dose of my mother laid over a fantasy image of who I might be if this transformation were to happen to me.
Perhaps you could do something like that?
Take the time to cry.
John in Wauwatosa
John in Wauwatosa
I have sent my condolences
to his widow. I got to know her while they were dating and she was also a great person though she knew me as my male self and I'm not sure she'll realize it's me, though made no secrets about my transition in our circle of friends. One reason I never tried to take him for my own is because I genuinely liked Heather and I hope she'll accept me for who I am now and realize that I just want to show how much I cared for him as a friend.
I think I have a picture from when he played Inspector Cloussieu in our school's rendition of the Pink Panther. His fake mustache had fallen off in the middle of the performance and he caught it and put it back on but it was upside down, it was hilarious. He never missed a beat though and just went on with the show, he was a great actor. I'll have to ask my ex if she can find that pic for me.
There's a lot of Mike in my character Darren form Kisses from Romeo and a lot of our relationship as well, I guess that story was in part kind of what could have been. I may do something more to honor him though once my head is straight.
Don't take me too seriously. I'm just kitten around. :3
My condolences on your loss
Dear friends are rare and I know I have friends who are a 10 or 12 years older then me and I do not know what I will do when they pass on, more than likely before I do.
Kim
Do what you can
Just do whatever you can as admittedly annoying as it is to wait for your stories your stories are worth waiting for. I am sorry about your friend I to know what it is like to loose them through death or other means.