First of all. Thank you to everybody for the love and support, I love you all. So my appointment was today, and it was not what I expected.
She was an interesting person very frank. She first wanted to know about my family history. And even though my family life was not abusive, it was still full of things she said were bad. I agreed and she said "You were set up by this environment to not tell anyone anything, no wonder you kept it inside forever.".
She wanted to know when I first knew I was different and how it felt. She also said that "Jennifer has as much right to live as my male self does!". She kept me a half hour over my allotted time. I was her last appointment before lunch.
She did tell me that I have to tell my family just not yet. She said that I will have to some day when I am ready. I think that will be a while from now. She also wants to see my poems I told her they are very dark, but she still wants to see them. She made me sign an agreement to not harm myself which I did. I wouldn't do that anyway as I can't leave my family with nothing.
I have an appointment once a week for the next two months and then less frequent. I feel better but we both agree that I have a looooong way to go. When she walked me out to the lobby she said "I'm excited to be a part of this journey, I know you're terrified but I'm excited." I laughed a bit at that.
All in all a positive experience. I have no illusions about being fixed anytime soon. It does feel good to take a step forward and I hope to have more progress. Once again thank you all for the amazing support and friendship. Love and hugs, Jenn.
Comments
Words.
The hardest part to learning to walk is that very first step. One has to overcome the fear of failing. Once the first step is done the next one comes all on its own.
Good luck Jennifer.
oh boy... I mean girl.. I mean... ah shit, you know what I mean
I'm glad you finally went.
It won't be easy, but in the end I feel a large weight will be lifted off of your shoulders.
Katie Leone (Katie-Leone.com)
Writing is what you do when you put pen to paper, being an author is what you do when you bring words to life
best of luck hon
pulling for you, and praying for you
That's Wonderful
That's wonderful news, girl. The most difficult part of any journey is .... the first step. Now that's out of the way and each step after this will be easier. Life itself is a journey and has its own ups and downs. The key to a successful life is (as Shakespeare said) 'To thine own self be true.' When I was having problems figuring out who I was (in my early 20's) my dad tried to mold me into what he thought I should be. But I refused and told him I needed to figure it out on my own, because if I was not me then I was nobody. Only you can be you, so be the best you you can be, whoever that is.
It sounds like you have found a wonderful therapist to help guide you on this part of your path in life. And you have our support and our love, Jenn.
May God bless you on this journey of life.
May He heal your hurts as he gives you strength to face each day.
May His love comfort and guide you with each step that you take.
May you find peace and joy as you discover the wonderful person He designed you to be...
through all of life's trials and trails.
Remember, you are not alone...
Love you,
Mark <3
Good luck with the therapy
not sure about her being excited or disclosing that, she's supposed to be there for your benefit not the other way round.
Still thinking of you and hoping you'll get where you need to be in your own time.
Hugs,
Ang
Angharad