Does anybody else on Big Closet write their stories in secret? What I mean is that nobody in my life knows of my TG interests and desires and probably never will. I don't have any problems in keeping it to myself nor do I find it necessary to let people know because, in my opinion, it really is a personal aspect of who I am and I'm happy with it the way it is.
However, when I see the readership, reviews and feedback of my work, I can't help but feel a little proud. Take CD Charlie for example, which has nearly 55000 reads over at TG Storytime, I think, ''Jeez I'm actually doing something that people enjoy here. If only people in my life knew.''
I know it sounds a little silly but I guess what I'm trying to say is that I sometimes feel like I want to express pride to my friends and family of the secret work I have done yet I don't want them to know about it at the same time. Haha, I know your thinking and your right, It doesn't make any sense but anybody in a similar position to me might just understand what I'm saying.
Comments
actually
was wondering when the next post on crossdressing charlie would come about.
Probably some time this week
Probably some time this week but I can't give a specific date. I'm currently editing, reshaping, adding and taking the scenes to build up the episode to it's final form. It's going very well. Keep your eyes peeled for it and thanks for commenting.
Lily Florette
There isn't a day that goes by...
...where my heart doesn't ache over the secrets I hide here. My wife knows only a small part of what I write; she discovered a story and that led to a very brief discussion. I want to show her the things I write and the friends I've met, but I haven't been able to bring myself to, you know? It makes perfectly painful sense, dear. That need to be affirmed by the ones we love but cannot, since revealing the successes would likely lead to confrontation. I know I am going to be more forthcoming; it hurts too much to hide completely, and she understands my need to write and to encourage. But two conflicting world-views make it a struggle to know just how and when to share.
All that to say, you are definitely not alone. I love your work, by the way, and my fervent prayer for you...for all of us is that we are able to be whomever we are; including what we understand about ourselves and what we create as part of who we are. Thanks for the blog!
Love, Andrea Lena
I agree Andrea, while my body
I agree Andrea, while my body of work is not nearly as extensive as everyone else on this site. The thing I write about most is an underlying hopeless feeling, this helps me work through these feelings. I can not make any moves towards revealing me to family and friends, this is my only outlet. And I must admit anything I've ever written as the world sees me hasn't been nearly as good. Typing smiles, Jenn.
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
You and me buddy
It's sounds like your feelings on this matter are much more intense than my own and for that, my heart goes out to you. It's not easy being somebody that not many people may understand in everyday life so we're forced to hide away in secrecy. I wouldn't have as much of a problem being secret but as I stated above in the blog, it can get to me at times (today is one of those times) and it does become very frustrating, maddening even that I am unable to express this wonderful little world we call TG fiction. But then I remind myself, ''Why be angry when I can be part of a community that nobody else in my life is in?''. But I guess it's a complex feeling we and many writers have to bear from time to time.
Lily Florette
All depends on why...
is it that your family does not share the same interests? Or is it more fundamental, IE YOU are TG or tend towards that self definition and are afraid they would not understand or would even be hostile?
Only you can judge if and when to tell members of your family and in what manner.
Also, why do you write? To consider *what if* scenarios or to express your deep felt desires?
Wish I could help more but ultimately this is your decision.
As to my family they know to an extent I dabble in TG lit but they have other interests.
For me it is mostly a combination considering *what ifs* and a way to release stress... originally over my mother's and older sister's deaths. Now, it is more for fun and to ... I don't know... momentum or is it inertia?
-- snicker --
BTW the Vikings LOST!
Yay, Green Bay Packers!!!
Oh, the NHL strike is over and they may play part of a season. I didn't even know pro hockey was on strike!
If I recall a few years ago the owners locked the players out and canceled the entire season yet made more money than they had in years.
What does THAT tell you about the popularity of profession ice hockey in North America?
Any different in Europe?
We do have a small but fanatic group of fans in the upper Midwest... but mostly for college and semi pro hockey...IE pure hockey without all the borderline WWF fake wrestling hokum.
John in Wauwatosa
John in Wauwatosa
You and me both, honey.
I understand completely. I'm very proud of the writing I've posted here, but not a soul who knows me knows about Lora, and at this point in my life, I don't expect that to ever change. Funny story: at work a few months ago, a young guy was excitedly telling everyone that one of his YouTube videos just had it's ten thousandth view. I just smiled and nodded, knowing that the videos I've posted as Lora Guy are approaching one million views. I just had to swallow that little tidbit, keep it to myself and get on with my real-world day. ;-)
.
.
The girl in me. She's always there, usually
floating just under the surface.
Wow nearly one million views?
Wow nearly one million views? That's some achievement right there! Well done Lora! I can see why you find it hard not to brag about a figure as big as that. I'd say it was hard to listen to the guy at work but I guess if we put your secret on a romantic level, it's almost like being a superhero with a double identity! Everyday guy with a female alter ego! It's cool! ;)
Lily Florette
Going out on a limn
Going out on a limn. I would make a guess that there has been many people from all societies of the past and present who have found it necessary to keep there hunt for the sacred truth to them selves. just ask Galileo, or the long line of historically knowned and many more secreted minds who all worked to forward human kinds understanding of larger issues.
I do use a Pen Name and of those I have told that I am writing that what I write is Science / fantasy and historic Fiction but not any more than the general basics not including my keen interests with this most beloved and visited site.
But my children and a few others know that my unique position in this our world is not common knowledge for others. " Good Fences make good neighbors." or another way of putting it is we need good boundaries to maintain our personal integrity. Confidences are a necessary part of the adult world as I refuse to have one or a hand full of people able to micro manage or veto things in my life when there lives are in such a mess. When really pressed on the matter I ask to see the scar's of there time hanging on the cross, adding I take advice from only perfect people AND THE LAST ONE WAS NAILED UP ON A STICK SOME YEARS AGO. So I do feel safe in ignoring you., If you have a problem with that make an appointment with God and we will discuss this on judgement day as only God has any say concerning my judgement and punishment.
To avoid such traumatic scenes I just Keep my juicer bits to my self, Children regardless if they are 7 .27,57,or 97 years old need to be shown understanding for there limited ability to shut up and mind there own business.
In service to all.
Misha Nova
With those with open eyes the world reads like a book
Dear authors
To all of you cannot or dare not use your publicly known idenntity, I want to send the same thank you that I do all other authors. You bring us who don'eeven dare to publish. just to rwead, the best of the stories about this woundeful thing of finding our real true self. I do hope that you allö will be able to publish uned your true identity and open have the credit for all the nice stories you hav brough to me over all those years.
Just keep on!
Ginnie
GinnieG
Even those of us
who are 'living the dream' and who write and post here tend not to shout too loudly about it. I sometimes tell people I write most nights and share with a few friends on the internet. That I'm one of the most prolific authors in the genre doesn't get mentioned because I live in stealth. Maybe when I retire...
Angharad
Lily, you are not alone.
Lily, you are not alone. There are other like you, who labor in secret, because the alternative is to add immeasurable conflict to a life already burdened with strife.
None of us have infinite time or energy, thus we are often forced to "pick our battles". We each, personally, are the only ones equipped to decide which battles to fight and which to avoid.
One who understands,
- vessica b
Winning the war...
...sometimes campaigns in war are waged with the idea of losing as little as possible rather than gaining any ground, so that some time later, the war will be won. The metaphor isn't lost on me, nor is it lost on most here. We do what we can to preserve as much peace as possible. The dilemma many of us share is that no matter what we do, the alternative is always almost as appealing as the choice we make simply because the pain is no worse and the disappointment no stronger.
We gain strength all the time as we grow from the struggles we face with the understanding of others just like us; we might not get up to the next plateau as fast as we'd like, but we don't slip back as often because of the hand held out that's further up than we are, if that makes any sense. I really appreciate your comment; it helped me immensely yesterday. Thank you.
Love, Andrea Lena
No one knows
No one knows that I have any interest in this subject matter, or that I read TG stories, or that I write such stories. If anyone found out the consequences would be terrible.
Rami
RAMI
You know...
If you think you have a talent for witing TG fiction its only a small sidestep to writing "straight" fiction.
Right!
I have always wanted to write! I bought a typewriter at about age 16 in order to write and continued to use it until I started using computer keyboards (in the '70s).
My main interest was science fiction with a side order of historical fiction. So, for (mumble) many years that's what I wrote. Of course, in those days the Internet hadn't been invented and I had no illusions that my work would ever be good enough to see the light of day, or even a bookshop.
It is only in the last five years, since I was forced to give up work because of my Fibromyalgia, that I have had enough time to come to terms with my real self. I have had time to explore the internet and eventually discovered TG fiction - a genre that I never knew existed, and that I never knew I could write stories in!
Now the publishing scene is entirely different than it was all those years ago. I have discovered that I can write tolerably well and that readers actually like reading my scribblings.
Of course, there are far too many tales of various kinds in my brain for me to ever get them all out, but I hope that I can eventually share the bulk of my wild imaginings with all my friends here.
The point is: If you can write here, it means you can write almost anywhere. Spread your wings!
Penny
It all depends, Lily.
Does your family & friends accept the T.G. community?
May Your Light Forever Shine
The loneliness of the long short story writer...
If I showed most of my friends the work I have written they'd think I was wasting my time. I've shared one of my stories with friends in Japan who helped me with some of the pop history, but then we don't see each other every day and besides nobody in Japan gives two hoots about tg issues. But my in-person friends?
An anonymous audience is a brutally honest audience, so you must be doing something right. :)
not as think as i smart i am