She of the Jade Skirt

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

** Part IV **

{“Can I drive?”} Melody asked a few minutes after the blistering acceleration came to a halt and the routine of driving helped to dim the excitement.

However, I have to admit that driving the R8, did not, in any way, feel routine. I felt completely wired and I tingled, for lack of a better word, in places I never tingled before. I worked hard to focus on the road to help get those tingles and our breathing under control. Melody’s excitement must have bled over and caused those sensations.

{“Not right now, but maybe later.”}  I said because I could not really say that she was not old enough to drive when technically, she was driving.  Plus, it might be a good idea for her to know how to drive if something happened to me. I would hate to have her stranded in the middle of nowhere if Chalchiuhtlicue decided to pop in and take me away.

{“Really!?!”}

Melody sounded shocked and based on the renewed increase of our heart rate, I imagined her jumping up and down with excitement. I struggled to not smile at her reaction and I failed, miserably, by giggling at her reaction. {“Yes, but when I have time to show you.  This isn’t your parent’s minivan.”}

{“Camry.”}

{“That either.”}

{“Okay, but, umm, now what?”}

{“Well, now we find out what we can do about your parents, but we need to be careful because there were a lot of police officers on the Don’s payoff lists.  We can’t just jump in with guns a’ blazing.”}

{“Weapons, hello!?”} Melody said with mock frustration.

{“Wow, you can teach a young whippersnapper new tricks...”} I said using my best cranky old person voice.

We laughed together and I found it hard to keep the silly happy smile off my face.  Having Melody with me made me feel so ridiculously happy that I never wanted to leave her because I could not imagine living without her. When I am done, I might have to beg the goddess to let me stay.

It only took us 15 minutes to reach  Melody’s hotel and thankfully it was still too early for a lot of people to be up and about.  At least, not vacationers, because the only street traffic I saw appeared to be Mexicans coming to or leaving from work.  I did notice a few people checking out our car, though.

{“Hmm, maybe I should have appropriated the SUV...”} I said with some regret.

{“What? Why? This car is so cool! Oh-”} Melody stopped as she realized how much attention our car attracted.

There were three police vehicles parked near the front doors of Melody’s hotel. Their presence confirmed my suspicions about the police.  Fortunately, there were only a couple of officers standing outside and they did not appear to be paying very close attention to the street traffic.  Their focus was directed to the interior of the hotel.  

That was not a good sign because they were probably waiting for some of their friends to come out with Melody’s parents in tow.  My guess was that police were going to pretend to be taking them to Melody, but instead they were simply going to hand them over to The Don.

I drove a few blocks past the hotel and then, I turned around and parked on the side of the street approximately a hundred meters from the hotel entrance. I had a pretty good line of sight with the hotel lobby doors, but now I wished that I had found some binoculars in The Don’s stash.  I debated digging out one of the kit scopes from the trunk.

{“What are we doing?”} Clearly, Melody felt a little anxious just sitting in the car and doing nothing.

{“Umm, waiting to-”} I stopped when I spotted a cluster of police officers escorting a man and a woman from the hotel.

Melody instantly tensed. {“They have my parents! We have to help them!”}

I mostly ignored her demand because we had already gone over this. {“We can’t, yet...we need to wait.”}

{“Grrrr...this is so frustrating...”}

Melody did not like my answer, but she settled down as I studied the area to try and figure out some options. Yes, the scope would have really come in handy because from our current position it was hard to make out the details. It appeared that the man leading them was a high ranking officer versus the standard rank and file. His body language appeared to show that he was relaxed and happy as he gestured for Melody’s parents to get into the lead vehicle.

{“Maybe he is trying to protect them?”} I said for Melody’s benefit even though I found the odds of that to be rather low.

I quickly ducked down in the seat when their convoy turned and headed right for our position. My smaller size worked in our favor because I was able to completely hide our body. I waited until they passed our position before I sat back up and started the Audi.  We had to follow them, but do so from maximum distance. The flashy Audi was definitely a liability when trying to tail someone.

Thankfully, three police cars were not that hard to follow and we did not have far to go. By keeping an eye on the trailing police vehicle and the Audi’s GPS, I found it fairly obvious that they were heading to the city’s marina instead of the police station.  

“Hmmph...” I said, absently tapped the steering wheel as I thought things over.

{“What’s going on? Is something wrong?”} Melody asked as I felt our heart race.

{“I believe that they are taken them to our buddy, The Don, but there still isn’t a lot that we can do about it right now.”}

Melody did not say anything, but I could feel her disappointment and that made it harder on me. Her disappointment made me wish Chalchiuhtlicue had turned me into a superwoman, able to just rush in and free her parents from the clutches of the evil drug lord.  This mission was starting to feel personal and that could cause me to make mistakes. Mistakes that neither of us could afford.

The marina’s parking lot proved to be far easier to blend in and hide an expensive sports car than I expected.  The lot was full of $100K+ cars. I simply pulled into an open spot next to a Mercedes SUV and opposite from the police officers’ position.  The bigger SUV helped conceal the Audi and us from the police.  The downside to that concealment was that it also made it impossible for me to watch them directly.

I spotted Melody’s parents being escorted into the marina by three officers. I knew that there was zero chance of me following them into the marina without being spotted. So, I decided to take a risk and grab the scope from the R8’s forward trunk, or boot as the crazy Brits would say.  Yes, it is true. Every British special operative that I worked with was certifiably insane, but you could also depend on them to not crack under pressure.

While not as handy as binoculars, the scope proved to be helpful. Not exactly the most clandestine of methods, but if it is stupid and it works, then it isn’t stupid. From the comfort of the Audi’s driver’s seat, I was able to see most of the marina and I quickly spotted our, I mean, Melody’s parents directed to turn down a dock that lead toward an ultra-modern, sleek and clearly expensive yacht that bore the name, “El Conquistador”.

It was pretty easy to hate this guy and the name he chose for his yacht made it even easier.  I knew that the yacht did not have a choice in the matter, but now I hated his yacht, too.  I know, it was just a yacht. It did not have feelings, but if I had the chance; the “El Conquistador” was going into the Goddess’ loving embrace.

Thanks to the scope, I was able to make out their facial expressions and read their body language better. It was pretty easy to see that Melody’s mom was very scared. She was holding onto her husband’s arm and glancing nervously about, as if looking for a way to escape.  Melody’s dad looked angry as he tried to comfort her. If he was going to do something courageous, now was the most likely time for him to do so.

“Please don’t try to be a hero...” I whispered as I anxiously shifted in my seat and absently rubbed the centerpiece of my necklace. Somehow, the cool jade and texture of Chalchiuhtlicue’s image helped to calm and reassure me.

One of the three officers who ‘escorted’ Melody’s parents appeared to be wearing a captain’s uniform.  I presumed that the good captain did not bring all his men with him because it would have angered The Don. While I could not see the captain’s name badge from our angle, I felt fairly certain that he was the same person listed on The Don’s pay off report. The report plus his current actions just added him to my targets of opportunity list.

The Don made his appearance with a few of his thugs as backup. He looked suave and relaxed in his Miami Vice white suit jacket, grey t-shirt, white dress pants and dock shoes. Could he be any more stereotypical? I saw a flash of metal on his wrist and with all his other big ticket purchases, I would not be surprised if he was wearing a real Rolex. The scope was good, but at 300 meters, 4x magnification is not enough to make out watch logos.

His personal guard appeared to be better equipped. They openly carried MP5 submachine guns held at the ready as they kept a distrustful watch on the police.  If I was unsure about the Police Captain being on The Don’s payroll; his disregard of the Don’s thugs and their weapons  removed all doubts because suppressor equipped MP5’s are not legal for a private citizen to openly brandish, not even in the good old U S of A.

Their MP5’s were not the cheap clones his goons back at the mansion carried. No, these were the Heckler & Koch MP5SD3 variant that included a retractable butt stock, fully automatic fire mode selector, an integrated suppressor and they carried them like a pro would.  No, his personal goons were probably not going to be easy to neutralize.

{“Dani, what’s wrong?”} Melody asked.

{“Umm, nothing. His guards are going to be a problem. Nothing major.”} I said, trying not to sound too concerned about them.

The Don greeted the Police Captain like he was an old friend, slapping him joyfully on the back, but based upon the Captain’s body language, it appeared that he did not feel the same. They spoke to each other for a few seconds before Melody’s parents were turned over to The Don’s men. My mom, I mean, Melody’s mom almost broke down, but Melody’s dad was able to reassure her as the two of them were led onto the yacht. I followed the two as they were led up the stern deck stairs by the professional goons and until they disappeared into the stern cabin area.

{“Okay, so now we wait for the fake police to leave and then, kill everyone and free my parents, right?”} Melody said with a quiet intensity that concerned me.

I felt extremely worried by her attitude toward killing someone. I knew that she felt extremely worried about her parents; so, perhaps she was justified, but killing was my job, not Melody’s.  I did not want that stain on her soul because that kind of stain never comes out.  I was undead proof of that fact.

{“No, ‘we’ do not ‘kill everyone’. ‘I’ kill everyone, but only after ‘we’ have a plan that gives us a good chance of success.  Rushing in now would just get us both dead and maybe your parents too. Got it?”} I was probably a little hard on her, but it was for her own good.

I could feel Melody’s frustration attempting to boil over. Our eyes began to water as her emotions ran wild. She wanted to scream, punch and kick at me, but she could not because deep down inside, she knew I was right and that I was there mentally hugging her the entire time.

{“Yes, ma’am. Sorry...”} She said softly and sounding genuinely apologetic.

{“Okay, now, we will need to find the plans for his yacht. Figure out how much opposition he has on board and how they are armed. What their schedules and habits are, good and bad.  How large  a crew he has to man his yacht and if they are armed. We need something better than a scope for surveillance...}” I said as I started to run through all the things we would need and the list kept getting larger.  I started to worry that we would not have enough of a lead time to even attempt a rescue tonight.

{“Oh...”} Melody said, sounding dejected.

{“Yes, oh, and that is just the start. We also have to plan for our withdrawal. It would not do us any good to succeed with our primary mission, then fail at getting your parents to a safe place and out of the country, will it?”} I said.

{“Umm, sure, but what is their boat doing?”} Melody asked, breaking me out of my mission planning fugue.

{“Ship...”} I absently corrected her as I focus my attention back on the yacht and what I see throws a giant monkey wrench in the works.

{“Fuck me to tears...”} Slips out before I even think to censor myself.  The asshole and his crew are preparing to weigh anchor and depart our little slice of paradise.  There goes the entire mission planning.  It is kind of hard to plan for something that doesn’t exist.  Where in the fuck is he going?  

From the data back on his PC, he had all sorts of places that he could be going to right now.  He could be going to his secret sub construction yard in Puerto Madero or anyplace else on the entire west coast of Mexico. Fuck, he could even be going to entirely somewhere else. It is a big fucking ocean out there.

{“Dani, we have to stop them!”} Melody said, her voice full of desperation and anguish as we watched the asshole’s yacht begin to pull back from its berth.

{“Yes, but there is nothing we can do right now.”} I said, gripping the steering wheel of the Audi until my knuckles turned white.

That was the wrong thing to say or think, or whatever it is we do because in her desperation to help her parents, Melody managed to get us out of the car before I was able to take back over.

{“Stop it! Leave me alone! I have to stop him!”} Melody screamed at me.

I felt her heart, our heart beating furiously from the panic that she felt for her parents.  I wanted so badly to just hold her and tell her that it would be okay, but holding her was a bit hard and I could not guarantee that everything would be okay.  Not that I would not die trying to make it so. Without Melody fighting me, I got us back into the R8 and then, like she did for me in the pool, I hugged my arms against our body.

“I am not giving up...Sis...I promise that we will get Mom and Dad from that bastard. It is just going to take a bit more work, that is all.” I said, whispering out loud to make my promise more real for both of us.

{“Really?”} Melody asked like she trusted me to make it true, but still felt a little unsure.

{“Really, Really.”} I said with a slight smile as my eyes prickled with tears. I had not had someone depend on me like that in years.  It reminded me of the time my daughter asked me to help her with a wounded bird.  I knew that it was probably hopeless, but I could not let her down because it would have broken her heart to just let the bird die as nature intended.  Chipper, as she named him, flew again.  I did not have the heart to tell her that I found Chipper dead a week later. I think that a cat got him.

{“You called Mom and Dad, Mom and Dad...”} Melody said at almost a whisper, her voice filled with wonder.

{“Umm, yes, well, you did say that I was your bossy big sister, so I was just trying to perform to mission specs, or something.”} I said with a hint of bluster as I tried to cover my mistake while at the same time realizing that I actually felt that way about them.  Logically, I should not because they are most definitely not my parents because I am not Melody, but that did not really help because technically, I am Melody.  Confused much? Me too. Oh, fuck it. Sorry about my French.

{“Yes, okay. We ‘will’ rescue Mom and Dad, but first we have to find out where the bastard is taking them.”} I said, practically giving up on maintaining my objectiveness.

I felt Melody cheering inside my head and I imagined her doing a cute little happy dance.  That made me smile and love my little sister even more.  {“Yeah!  We are back in the game and my sis has a plan! You do have a plan, right?”} Melody asked, shifting from jubilant to suspicious in less than a heartbeat.

{“Yes, and I will tell you as soon as I figure it out.”} I said as I started the R8.  The throaty sound and vibrations of the big v12 springing to life helped focus my attention to the task at hand.

{“What?!?!”} Melody asked, shocked by my admission.

I ignored her as I put the R8 in gear and began to pull the car forward.  I had to slam on the brakes when the three police cars cut across our bow.  I guess that the SUV blocking our car from them also blocked them from us because they surprised me. Thankfully, neither the drivers nor the occupants spared us a second glance.  Their attention appeared to be focused on something else and shortly after they exited the lot, their lights and sirens began to blaze.

{“Where do you think that they are going to now?”} Melody asked.

I had to think about that for a second. {“Hmm, hard to say, but worst case is that they are going to check out the bastard’s mansion.”}

{“Okay, then what do we do about ‘the Bastard’?”}

{“Well, first, I need to stop swearing. You are picking up some naughty words young lady.”} I felt Melody mentally sticking her tongue out at me. {“And second, we need to figure out where he is going with your parents and to do that we have a few options depending on how sneaky he is being.”}

{“Okay...”} Melody sounded hesitant.

{“The simplest and least risky option is that we watch which direction they turn when they leave the harbor. If south east, then he is probably going to his ship yard in Puerto Madero. If north east, no idea, but if he just goes straight out until we lose sight of him, then we are screwed. I mean, in trouble.”}

Melody giggled at my slip up. {“Oh, why would he do that?”}

{“Mostly to keep someone from doing what we are trying to do. It is an old trick that traders used to keep their competitors from figuring out their destination based on the direction they left port.”}

{“Oh, what do we do if he does that then?”}

{“Well, we can waste time watching him or try Plan A.”} I stopped there knowing that Melody is going to ask.  It took her almost 10 seconds before she could not take it anymore.

{“Aaaannnd Plan A is?”}

{“Oh, was wondering if you were still awake there.”}

{“So mean...”}

{“No, I’m not. Plan A is simple. We just ask the Port Captain if they called in a sail plan. That would probably be the least risky, but Plan B would be to have a little talk with our other friend, the police captain.  That option might cause us lots of problems, but shi... stuff happens.”}

{“Oh, okay.”} Melody said, sounding somewhat mollified.

{“So now we need to find the Port Captain’s office and...”} I glanced down at our cleavage and felt a little dirty for even considering what I was planning, but I knew what we looked like and how easy a pretty girl, like Melody, could extract information from a mark. {“...use our ‘assets’ to get some information, if possible. Are you on board with that, Melody?”}

{“What do you mean by ‘on board’?”} Melody sounded suspicious.

{“I will need you to take over and interrogate the Port Captain.}

{“Umm, okay, but why can’t you do that?  I don’t wanna mess up.”}

{“Simple, for this operation, we need a young lady and I am not a young lady. I know how to break people’s fingers until they tell me what I want to know and I don’t think that would be a good plan for this mission. So, do you think that you can handle it?”}

{“Umm, I guess I can try?”} Melody sounded hesitant.

{“There is no try, only do.”} I said in my best Mr. Miyagi impression.

{“Is that from another one of your dusty old movies?”} Melody teased me.

{“Brat!”}

She giggled at me, but I ignored it, mostly. {“Grrr, okay, you’re 16, you are a reporter for your high school’s student paper and you are here to do an interview about the job of a Port Captain. Crap, we need a tape recorder or a notepad.”} I quickly pawed through the center console and glove box hoping that we would get lucky and find something.  

{“No luck, let’s head over to the Port Captain’s office. Maybe we can figure something out once we are there.”} I said as I put the Audi in gear and drove the half mile down the street to the office.  

Melody was quiet until we parked. {“Hmmm, what is the name of the high school here?”}

{“Good question. Why don’t you look it up?”}

I let her take over again.
 

I felt Dani give control of my body.  Did she really expect me to ‘interrogate’ the Port Captain?  I was not a secret agent like she was. Well, not really a secret agent, but...

Oh crap!

Yes, I said a bad word, but you should hear Dani talk sometimes.  I cannot believe that she expected me to sweet talk this Port Captain dude into telling us where the bas’, umm jerk, took my parents.  Instead of worrying about it, I used the GPS to find the nearest high school.

“Okay, got it. It is not actually in Salina Cruz. The, umm, Estado De Oaxaca Santo Domingo Tehuantepec. Does that sound good to you?” I asked because I really was not sure if that would work or not.  This spy stuff was kinda new to me and the fact that I could somehow speak, read and understand Spanish like I was a native freaked me out a little too, but it was also pretty darn wicked.

{“Yep.”} Dani said, flat and all business like.

I could feel her plotting and adjusting her imaginary mission plan with the school name and location.  She was probably working out a way to blow the school up as a distraction in case this Port Captain dude got nosy or something.  She is kinda violent and scary, but I could feel how much she loved me. She really was like a sister to me, but more. If that makes any sense.

I glanced down at my dress and all I could think was, “Wow! I’m wearing a Donna Karen and I look hot! “, but I also did not look very, umm, tan.  There was no way that I could pass myself off as a Mexican, but I was pretty proud about how nice my breasts looked.  After my mom got over her jealousy, she would kill me if she saw me dressed like this.

“Umm, I don’t look very, umm, Mexican.” I said, hoping that Dani would have an idea.

{“Good point...”} Dani said as she thought it over for a second. {“German. You’re an exchange student from Germany.”}

Melody paused as she thought it over. “Umm, okay, but do you speak German?”

{"Ja, na sicher spreche ich Deutsch, Mann."} Dani said, smugly.

"á„ch du meinst Frau, oder?" I said with a pleased smirk as I simultaneously realized that I could both understand and speak German.

{“Holy crap! I mean, cow. I guess we do speak German. Did you know that before?”} Dani asked, sounding flabbergasted. See what I mean about her language?

“Nein Grossmutter.” I said as I briefly stuck my tongue out at her while I checked my makeup and hair in the car’s driver mirror.

Dani elected to not reply, but I could tell she was miffed about me calling her a grandmother. My makeup looked perfect. Senora Michelina and Senorita Rosalita did a very good job. Way better than I would have been able to do. I would have used too much eyeliner and made my eyes look too young. I started to think that with this dress, makeup and hair; I might actually be able to pull this off.

{“Okay, so I think that we have a pen in our purse. We will just have to figure something out as to why we do not have a notepad or recorder.”}  Dani said, snapping me out of my confident feeling.

{“Okay...”} I said as I exited the car, purse firmly in hand.  I felt extremely nervous, but as I approached to entryway door, I started to feel more relaxed and confident.  I could not explain it, but somehow, I had the feeling that someone was watching over me.  The strange part about that feeling was that it was not Dani.  I mean, I knew that Dani was, but it was not her.

{“Yer doing great kiddo.”} Dani said, encouragingly.

{“Thanks.”} I said as I entered the small reception area of the Port Captain’s building.  

I spotted an attractive, professionally attired Mexican woman sitting at a receptionist’s desk.  She appeared to be in her mid-thirties and confused by my presence. I guessed that not many people visited the office this early in the morning wearing a Donna Karen dress.

“Hola? May I help you, Senorita? Are you lost?” She asked in Spanish.

I smiled at her with what I hoped was a confident and friendly smile. “Hola, Senora. No, I am not lost, but I kind of need your help.” The woman did not immediately say no or try to shoo me out of her office.

I took that as a good sign. “Sorry, but umm, I am going to school at Estado De Oaxaca Santo Domingo Tehuantepec and I was given the assignment of doing a story for the school newspaper. It is about careers and I thought the Puerto Capitan’s job would be very to our students. I know that he is probably very busy, but do you think that it might be possible for me to interview him?” I asked, cringing a little since I expected her to tell me no.

She did not say no. At least, not right away, but she looked genuinely regretful. “I am very sorry Senorita, but the Puerto Capitan is very busy this morning...”

I ‘had’ to talk to him. If I did not, we would not be able to find my parents. “Please, I only need a few minutes. I need the grade...”

The woman looked like she might change her mind. “Your Spanish is very good, but where are you from?” She asked with a perplexed frown.

Hah!  She might change her mind.

I worked my way to her desk and smiled at her. “Germany, Senora. I am here as a foreign exchange student and I love your country. The people are so nice and the weather is so warm. Much nicer than my hometown. It rains too much there.” I said, sighing as I imagined myself coming from a miserable climate instead of sunny California.  I had never been to Germany, but I heard it was nice there. So, I was not sure where I got the rain idea from. Maybe there is a part of Germany that gets more rain and nasty weather?

{“Watch it Melody...”} Dani said, reminding me that she was looking out for me and that I might be ad libbing it a bit too much.

The woman thoughtfully pursed her lips. “Hmmm, let me check with the Capitan. He is normally not so busy first thing in the morning. He might be able to see you, but only for a short time.” She cautioned me as she picked up her phone and pushed a button labeled “Puerto Capitan”.

“Thank you so, so much...” I said, whispering gratefully to the woman as she spoke on the phone with the Port Captain.

“He will be out in a few minutes.” The woman said with a pleased grin.

{“Her name is Alba Fernandez.”} Dani said.

“Oh my god’dess!” I stuttered a bit because I meant to say ‘oh my god’, but goddess somehow came out instead. Dani has been saying it so often. I blame her. “Umm, thank you so much, Alba! How can I ever repay you?”

“Oh, it is not a problem, umm...” Alba said, expectantly.

“Ma’rina Kuhne” I said with a distinct German pronunciation of my fake name before I realized that I had used her first name. A big no-no and I could have just ruined everything if she got upset with me. “I am so sorry; I did not mean to be so familiar with you Senora Fernandez.”

Thankfully, Senora Fernandez just laughed and waved my little social gaffe away. “Oh, that is okay, Senorita Khune. Ma’rina is a very pretty name.”  She stumbled just a little over the German pronunciation, but got it mostly right except for rolling her ‘r’.

{“Wow, you’re doing great Melody. Are you sure that you’re not really a secret agent?”} Dani said, sounding both pleased and concerned at the same time.

{“Thanks Sis!”} I said. It felt so nice having her there.

{“Note pad. Ask her if you can borrow her notepad.”} Dani said, reminding me that as a reporter, I needed to have something to take notes with.

I bit my lip with apprehension as I looked down at Senorita Fernandez’s desk. I felt so bad asking her.  “Umm, Senora Fernandez, I kind of hate to admit this, but I, umm, in my rush to get here before school started, I forgot my notebook. Do you have something that I can borrow?”

Senora Fernandez smiled, nodded her head and reached for her notepad. “I think so, Senorita Kuhne. Will this work?” She asked as she held it up for me to inspect.

“Yes, but umm, I am not a very good reporter, am I?” I asked, softly because I was beginning to wonder if I could really pull this mission off.

Senora Fernandez smiled encouragingly at me. “Oh! Of course you are Senorita Kuhne” She said as she quickly tore off the top page and handed me her notepad.

I felt extremely grateful for her help as I clutched her notepad against my body. I, I mean we, were one more step closer to finding my mom and dad and I did not think that I could thank Senora Fernandez enough. “Thank you Senora Fernandez! You have been so helpful and I am so sorry for interrupting your day. I think that I need to do a second article about the importance of someone working in your job because without you, how would the Puerto Capitan get his work done?”

Senora Fernandez and I shared a giggle that was quickly cut by the sound of the door leading to the back area opening. A reasonably handsome and fit middle aged man wearing a neatly pressed military style uniform strode confidently into the front area. I felt Dani’s alarm at his appearance. I guessed that she expected him to be sloppier or something.

Me, I was just glad that he had agreed to at least see me. “Oh, Senor Capitan, umm, it’s so nice to meet you.” I said, as I felt myself blush and clasp my hands behind my back before I realized what I was doing.   I was acting like a shy 12 year old girl when I was supposed to be a 16 year old high school girl and everyone knows that high school girls are way more confident.

I did notice that he checked me out and strangely enough, that actually made me feel more confident. I could feel Dani snickering at the poor man’s reaction before she suddenly grew alarmed by something.

I smiled at him as I confidently strode to him and extended my hand to shake like a professional business woman would do.  “Hola, I am Senorita Ma’rina  Kuhne. Thank you so much, Senor Capitan, for agreeing to speak with me.”

He surprised me when he smoothly twisted my hand and gallantly kissed my knuckles. I had never had anyone do that before and it was so charming. It made me feel like a princess or something and I knew that I had him under my power. Muh ha ha!

{“Victory!”} I cried to Dani.

“Oh, sie sind so ein Gentleman! Sorry, you surprised me; I did not expect such gallantry Senor Capitan. Are all Puerto Capitan’s as noble as you?” I said, switching from German back to Spanish in an effort to further sell my cover, as Dani would call it, to the Port Captain.

{“We are going to talk when we are done here little sister...”} Dani muttered grimly in the back of my head, but I ignored her. I think that she was worried about how much that I was sort of flirting with the man, but I was winning and that is all that mattered.

“Noble? Me? Hardly Senorita Kuhne, I am merely extending you the same courtesy that I would any woman.” He lied so convincingly to me. “Now, how may I be of service to such a beautiful and charming Senorita?” The Port Captain said with a smile and a brief nod of his head that actually seemed to signal respect for me as a woman.  

Hmm, maybe he wasn’t lying?

“I am grateful for that Senor Capitan and I am sorry if I am imposing on you because you are clearly a very busy and important man, but I was wondering if you might be able to find the time for me to do a short interview with you for my school’s paper.”

“Ah, for you, certainly and it is no trouble at all.” The Port Captain practically marched over to the door and held it open for me. “After you, Senorita Kuhne.”

“Thank you.” I said, feeling very flattered by the man. He really was kinda handsome, for an old man that  is.

{“He only did that so he could check...”}

{“Shhh!}” I said to shut her up before she could finish.  The Port Captain was a nice man and I refused to think that he would be so crude as to check out my butt, but it did make me feel good and I added a bit of extra sway to my gait. Just to make sure that he was firmly under my power.

Muh ha ha ha!

Sorry about that, but I guess Dani was right about me being the right girl for the job.  Dani would have probably turned around and broken the dude’s knee or something.

I felt pretty good about myself as I glided into a large open room filled with boards, charts, old grey Government Issue chairs and old computer workstations. Half of the workstations were shut down and they appeared like they had not been used in some time because they had paper neatly stacked on top of their keyboards and on top of their ancient 13 inch monitors.  Everything in the office looked well used, but like the Port Captain himself, the space was clean and organized.

“What school do you go to Senorita Kuhne?” He asked, jolting me with surprise at his question.

“Estado De Oaxaca Santo Domingo Tehuantepec, have you heard of it?” I asked as I readied my borrowed notepad to signal that I was ready to begin the interview. Maybe he would leave it at that because he was probably too old to have gone to the same school or know anyone who does.

The Port Captain appeared pleasantly surprised. “Emiliano, my son, attends the same school. Do you know him?”

{“Crap, crap, crap...”} Dani muttered with concern.

{“Language...”} I reminded her feeling more confident about myself.

“Emiliano?  The name sounds familiar. Is he on the soccer team?” I asked, pretending that I had heard of him before.

I watched as the Port Captain’s already straight spine, appeared to straighten even more as he thrust his chest out with pride.

Bingo!

“Yes, he is their star winger and he might go pro. So you have seen him play and you enjoy the game, no?” He asked as he expansively offered me a seat.

“Oh yes. He is very handsome and I can see where he gets his looks from.” I pretended to nervously tuck a strand of hair behind my ear, momentarily lost in thought as I focused on the final soccer game I played last season. Of which, I kicked butt and scored a goal. I hoped that he would think that I was recalling his son playing on the field.

I snapped back and sat up a bit more attentively. “Anyway, soccer is very popular in my country, but please don’t get me started on the game.” I laughed, feeling amused by the idea that I would even consider trying to fool this man about the sport. I needed to get him back to doing the interview. “Because then we would never talk about the reason that I am here, you and your very critical job.”

Dani was beside herself inside of me, if that makes any sense.  I could tell that she felt very pleased at how well I was doing, but she was also even more worried that something would go wrong. I began the interview by asking him about his education and how he got started. What it would take for a student to get started in his profession.  All of the normal interview type questions I could think of and as he answered, I made sure to jot his answers down on the notepad. I got him to talk about his job and what kind of work that he did. That eventually got him to tell me about sail plans. It took almost 15 minutes to get him to that point, but I had to somehow get him to show me the El Conquistador's sail plan thing without him becoming suspicious.  The clock was ticking and my parents needed our help.

“That is amazing Senor Capitan. I did not know that ships filed a ‘sail plan’ like pilots do for airplanes.  Do all ships file sail plans?” I asked as I shifted forward on my seat.

His eyes briefly traveled down from my face, but he managed to get them back up before I felt like he was being rude.  I could tell that he liked what he saw and I could not help feeling just a little proud.

“Oh yes, because if they do not, they might not be found if they get in trouble on the open ocean.”

“What about power boats and yachts?” I asked, pretending to not know that smaller boats did not need sail plans. It was not that hard because up until 30 minutes ago, I did not even know what that there was such a thing.

“Little power boats, no, but most yacht captains do file with us.”

“Oh, I did not know that either.  I will be sure to tell my readers of that fact. What does a sail plan look like? May I see one?” I asked, struggling to contain my glee and sound more curious instead of desperate.

“They are not that impressive to see,” He leaned forward, pointed behind me to a workstation and casually patted his hand on my knee.  With that, he stood and offered his hand to help me up like a gentleman would. “, but come Senorita Kuhne, follow me and I will show you.”

{“If the little piss ant mother fucker touches you like that one more time I am going to break his fucking neck!”} Dani said, furious enough to chew nails.

Wow, she was P.I.’ssed with a capital P.

{“It’s nothing. He was just being nice.”} I tried to defend the Port Captain as I followed him over to one of the more modern looking workstations.

Surprisingly, Dani elected to remain silent, but I could tell that she was still very upset about it because she had not apologized for swearing like a sailor.  Well, she was in the Navy, so maybe she would not apologize for swearing like a sailor when she was...oh never mind.

Senor Capitan appeared rather proud of his system when the old CRT monitor finally warmed up enough to display the status page that listed all of the recently departed ships. I immediately spotted our target, “El Conquistador”, on the top of the list as the most recent departure.  Acapulco was its stated destination with an ETA of 1900 hours.  Heck, now Dani had me thinking like her. Target? Where in the heck did that come from?

{“Fuck, that is pretty damn fast...”} Dani swore when we spotted the ETA.

{“Hey! Language. Remember?”} I said just to tweak her nose since she still had not apologized for her earlier language.

{“Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, sorry sis, but I am still upset about that asshole touching your leg.”} Dani said as I watched the Port Captain click on the entry of a freighter ship that departed yesterday for China.  

A second screen popped up to display that ship’s data.  Crew size, ship tonnage, cargo, passenger count, cruising speed, the ship’s owner, nationality and captain’s name are all listed.

{“That’s some good intel, see if you can get the good Captain to show you that for our target.”} Dani said as I thought the same exact thing.

{“Umm, duh...”}

“That looks like very good information for possible rescuers to know about a ship. This is a large, commercial freighter, right?”

The Captain turned back around and smiled at me. “Exactly and yes, that was for a freighter. Why?”

“What does a private ship’s information look like? Do they give you the same information in case they have a problem?”

“Excellent question, Senorita Kuhne. Allow me to show you one.” He said as he spun back to face the workstation.  He returned to the main page, but hesitated before clicking on the El Conquistador’s sail plan. Instead of selecting the obvious choice; he moved to the second page of ships. After a quick scan of that page, he moved to the third before finally giving up in frustration and returning to the first page.

I reached out and rested my hand on his shoulder. “Is something wrong Senor Capitan?”

He felt a little tense at first, but at my touch, he relaxed and chuckled. “Oh no, Senorita Kuhne, I am just surprised that I did not spot this one before.” He lied as he clicked on the El Conquistador’s sail plan.

I studied the screen with Dani, but nothing jumped out at me as important. Well, the three passengers did because I knew that two of those passengers were my parents. Dani hmmm’ed a couple of times before I felt safe enough to ask her a few questions.

{“Why didn’t he just click on the El Conquistador from the start?”}

{“I am guessing that he knows who the El Conquistador belongs to and is probably worried that if the Don found out that he showed someone his private data, his own family could be in danger.”}

{“Oh...that would be bad because he seems like such a nice man.”} I said.  

Dani did not say anything, but I could feel her growling in the back of my mind as I returned my attention to what Senor Capitan was showing me.

“Oh, I see, it looks pretty much the same as the freighter.” I said, trying to sound disappointed by the fact that the data looked the same.

The Puerto Capitan spun back around and surprised me by gently holding the hand that I had resting on his shoulder as he rose from his chair. “I pray that I was able to answer all your questions, but, as pleasant of a diversion you are Senorita Kuhne, I am afraid that I must return to my duties.” He sighed with regret and actually looked disappointed before he straightened back up. “However, if you should have additional questions, feel free to call me.” He accented his offer with a grin and a slight bow from the waist before he released my hand.  

I kind of felt a little disappointed that he did not kiss my hand like he did the first time.  I swear that if the boys back home acted even half as nice as he did, they would never have a problem getting a date.  “Thank you so much, Senor Capitan!  I have so many notes that I am now worried that my article will be too big, but if I find that I am missing something, I will call. Do you have a card or something?”

The Senor Capitan extracted a crisp, white card from his front pocket and handed it to me with a flourish.  “If you require any further assistance Senorita Kuhne, I will be at your disposal.”

I felt my knees tremble and my heart skipped a beat.  This man was good.  I felt my face blush as I accepted his card.  “Thank you, Senor Capitan. I don’t know what I would have done without your help.” I said with complete and total sincerity.  Thanks to him, I was now one step closer to rescuing my parents. Well, we were.

I left the office floating on cloud nine. I was so happy!  “Oh my Goddess, Dani! That was so wicked cool!” I yelled as I beat on the steering wheel of the car with excitement.  Now I was stuck saying ‘Goddess’ instead of God. What was up with that?

{“Yes, you did surprisingly well in there, Melody.”} Dani said reluctantly praising my performance.

I ignored her lack of enthusiasm. She was just jealous. {“Okay, spill it. What did you see?”} I asked, anxious to hear what my sister thought.

{“First, let me take over so that we can get out of here and I will tell you, okay?”}

Dani surprised me with her polite request because normally, she just took over. {“Umm, sure.”}

Dani started the Audi and put on our seatbelt. {“The ship’s captain reported that he had a 10 man crew for a ship that should only need 6, max. A Captain, First Officer, maybe an Engineer plus two or three servant types like a cook and maids.  My guess is that he is listing his thugs as crew because the El Conquistador's Captain only reported 3 passengers,  the Don and your parents.”}

{“But, you saw something else, right?”}

{“Yeah, the El Conquistador’s cruising speed was listed as 28 knots and that surprised me a little because when I was active, the yachts we trained against were lucky to have a cruising speed above 15 knots.”}  

I did not understand why Dani sounded so worried about the ship’s speed. {“28 miles per hour doesn’t seem that fast to me.”}

{“Knots, not miles per hour. A knot is equal to 1.15 miles per hour, big difference.”}

I was not impressed. {“Umm, I can go faster than that on my bike...but anyway, what now?”}

I could tell that Dani wanted to lecture me, but she decided to stick to the ‘mission’. {“Hit a library and see if I can find the yacht’s floor plans on the builder’s website, then try to beat them to Acapulco. Oh yeah, and we need to find a PC to look at the Don’s data again to see if we can figure out where in Acapulco he is planning on having your dad work from.  My guess is that it will be a warehouse or something similar.”}

It was a struggle to let her finish with her library plan.  I knew that she was old, but who uses libraries these days? {“Library? Why don’t we just use my laptop? My dad and I rooted my phone so that I could tether it to my laptop and do my homework from anywhere.”}

I tried not to laugh, but her confusion was just too funny.  For once, I was the one who knew more than she did about how to ‘gather intel’ for a mission. Dani grimaced and closed our eyes with frustration as she picked up on my emotions. {“Yes, I know about laptops and even this new fangled thing you kids call the internet...”} She let out a breath to relax and as the tension fled, I felt her start to smile.  That reaction made me worry because it seemed like Dani was always the most happy when she was plotting ways to kill someone.

{“Okay, securing your equipment is too risky. So, we find a computer store and since you volunteered, you buy us what we need, okay?”}  Dani said as she used the GPS system to find a computer store.

{“Hey! I didn’t-”} I could feel her satisfaction starting to build and I could not let her win. {“Fine, I will be the one to buy the stuff. After all, as old as you are, you might try to buy us an Apple or something.”}

{“Oh, snap...that is what you kids say these days, right?”} Dani said as she slipped the Audi into gear and tried to scare me with the acceleration.

This time I was ready for it and I refused to give her the satisfaction. Plus, we were in the city. 35 Miles per hour is still kinda slow, even if we got there in two seconds or less. {“Ha! It will take more than that to scare me now.”}  

Instead of getting depressed, Dani laughed, at me. I got the feeling that I was missing something. {“What?  You’re thinking about something...”}

{“Oh, nothing...”} Dani did not even try to fake it.  She was plotting something.  {“Anyway, I hope that you can shop for what we need, fast. We need to get to Acapulco ASAP. Something about your mom and dad...”}

{“Are we there yet?”}

{“Don’t make me pull this car over!”} Dani said, sounding like a parent who had to use that threat many times.

It started with a giggle. First, I giggled at her mock parental mode that sounded so dead on and then, she giggled and it was all over after that. We both laughed so hard that she had to pull the car over.  The laughter feedback loop was almost more than our body could handle. It took Dani almost 30 seconds before she was able to control her laughter and me, another five minutes.  I had the giggles pretty bad, but I felt tons better. A good girlfriend giggle fest is the best for relieving stress. Way better than crying and that was a good thing since we did not have any ice cream.

Thank Goddess that Dani was so serious or we might never have made it to the store.  Dani transferred 20,000 pesos into our purse and all that cash made me feel extremely nervous.  Dani just pointed out the USP gun slash weapon slash pistol thing we had in our purse and told me not to worry.

The first computer store, if it could be called that, was just a tiny hole in the wall and they did not have what we needed. I walked in, took one look at the bored kid behind the counter and the assorted three plus year old laptops on display, spun on my high heels and left.  The only satisfaction that I got was hearing the boy fall off his stool as I walked out the door.  

The second store was a bit more upscale and had everything we needed.  It even had some iPads, not that I wanted one of those things.  I was quickly intercepted by a dude wearing a white dress shirt and one of those trendy slim ties that went out of style last year.  I knew that I would not pass as a native, even if I spoke flawless Spanish. So, I stuck with my German exchange student cover story. I told him that I needed a good laptop and a cell phone or two for class.

The salesman was extra nice and extra condescending to me. He tried to talk me into getting a cheap netbook that was not actually very cheap, but it was pink so he must have thought it was something a girl would want. He also kept trying to get too familiar and touch me. He would point out a product, and then touch my back to help direct my attention to the item. The first time, Dani threatened to shoot him, but I talked her down.  By the third time, he ‘accidently’ let his hand brush against my butt, I felt my fingers twitching and I almost asked Dani if I could shoot him myself.

I decided that it would be better if I just walked out when I saw an older and professionally dressed woman exit from the back of the store.  Her eyes performed a quick scan of me from head to toe and then, her eyes darted back to my shoes and she gasped.

“Julio!  Your Papa needs you in the back, now!”

Julio smiled at me before turning to the woman. “I’m sorry. Mama, I am with a customer...”

“Julio...” She simply pointed to the back of the store.

Julio stiffened with surprise as he finally caught the woman’s extreme displeasure. “I will be right back. One minute, Senorita.”

The woman smiled at me mouthed, “Please wait, so sorry.” Next, she grabbed Julio by his arm as he passed and forcibly dragged him to the rear of the store while voicing her extreme displeasure with her son.  “How many times have I told you...” I what I heard before they turned the corner.

She popped back and flashed me a smile before disappearing again.  The volume increased as she really laid into him for treating me so badly.  After about 30 seconds, she finished with, “You wait right here! If she leaves without buying anything, you will go to work with your cousin Jepe down at your uncle’s restaurant!”

The woman emerged from the rear and briefly paused to smooth out her dress to compose herself. Satisfied, she hit me with a pretty good welcoming smile as she approached my position.

Crud, now I was thinking all military like Dani.  

“Hi, I am Angelita and am sorry about that. He is new and not completely trained yet.” She shook my hand as she spoke in surprisingly good English.  I guess that I should not have been surprised, but I was.

“Oh, that is okay Senora Angelita. With computers these days, it is so hard to keep up.” I said with German accented English. I felt like being nice since she was going out of her way to treat me nice and did I mention that I really liked how I could do that language thing now?  I could not wait until I get back to school and try it with my teachers.

{“Ya should have told her the truth and get the little--”}

{“Shush!”} I said, interrupting Dani before she really got started.

“Oh, thank you, but sometimes...” Angelita glanced back to the rear of the store with displeasure. “Anyway, what may I assist you with this morning, Senorita, umm?”

“Oh, I am sorry. Kuhne, Marina Kuhne, but you can just call me Marina if you like.”

Once we got past the initial pleasantries and apologies, Angelita proved herself to be very knowledgeable about the products.  She did not even bat an eye when I paid for everything with cash. Computer prices in Mexico are pretty high compared to the US. I knew that the Peso was a little low compared to the dollar, but wow, just wow at the price. We walked out of the store with almost half of the 20k gone.  

I guess that her son got paid on commission because he looked a little pale when she had him help me carry my purchases to the car. I think that Angelita used our car to further drive home her point about how badly he screwed up.  They both smiled and waved at us as we drove away, but could not help feeling a little satisfied when I spotted Angelita gesturing violently for her son to get back into the store.  She did not look at all happy with him.

We filled the front seat with electronic goodies and I wished that we could keep them. We had a good laptop, a netbook, an Android tablet with 3G prepaid for 20 gig, an Android smartphone, also prepaid, a simple flip phone, why? I don’t know. It was Dani’s idea. A Wireless 3G USB card for the laptop, also prepaid, a ruggedized case for the tablet, a case for the laptop, a case for the netbook and a free laser pointer that doubled as an ink pen. And a partridge in a pear tree...

That gave me an idea. {“Hey, can we tape the laser pointer to the gu-pistol and make it look all cool?”}

I was messing with Dani because I knew that she would say no, but hey, I didn’t call our gun a gun.

{“Good idea, but won’t work due to the slide. We did that with the CAR 15 to add lights. We could tape it to the suppressor though, but it would not be accurate--”}

I had to stop her. {“Dani, I was kidding!  Geez, you’re so serious.”}

{“Oh...brat.”} Dani said, but I could feel her love and affection. So, I let the mean name go as she drove us to a spot that we could do some research.
 

I had to admit that I was impressed with Melody’s work in the Port Captain’s office and in the computer store. She has a gift or the Goddess was helping her, but I would like to think that my sister was just naturally good with covert ops.  I never felt so simultaneously proud and scared shitless in my life.  Well, I had been scared more shitless before, but never has a mission felt so personal to me.  I mean, sure, there were a few targets that I eliminated with extreme satisfaction, but that was different.

It was also very strange being on the receiving end of a man’s sexual advances. I should probably apologize to Melody for my reactions, but I could not help it.  I am just wired to be protective toward women and especially Melody, but she handled what I would call sexual harassment so effortlessly and gracefully. Hell, she even turned things back around to get us even more intel. She had the Port Captain eating out of her hands and never once questioning our cover story.  He was probably even planning on encouraging his son to try and date her.

*sigh*

The jerk, sorry, fucking asshole of a prick in the store just about caused us both to ruin our cover.  I could not believe the nerve of that guy and I could tell that even Melody was beginning to lose her patience.  However, the fireworks when the prick’s mother came out from the back were entertaining.

Based upon my daughter, I felt pretty sure that Melody is going to be a handful for her dad when she starts dating. She is going to be beating off the boys with a f’ing bat. Hell, she probably is already, but I did not expect to be around to help her. I pray to Chalchiuhtlicue that her dad owns a few weapons and has a good shovel to hide the bodies with.

I do not know what I am going to do when she claims my soul and removes me from Melody’s body.  I guess that even if she sends me to burn in the fires of Aztec hell; I will always have my time spent with Melody to help me find a kernel of happiness. She really does feel like she is my baby sister and I cannot help loving her.

*double sigh*

{“Dani, what’s wrong?”}

Oops, I guess I am feeling a little too morbid right now.  {“Nothing, sorry, was just thinking about my life. You know, nothing serious...”}

I forgot about my problems when I felt her mentally hugging me. {“Oh Dani, you worry too much, but I still love ya. So, cheer up sis!”}

Her metaphysical hug helped. {“Okay, sorry. Let’s get started on this.  The sooner we figure out where in Acapulco to go, the sooner we can rescue your parents.”}

{“Don’t ya mean ‘our’ parents, hmmm?”} Melody asked expectantly.

{“Oh yeah, sure...”} I still felt very conflicted with that designation. I covered my confusion by spotting a good semi-secluded parking space where we could do our research from.

Of the computer stuff that she bought, the only two things I felt comfortable with were the laptop and the simple cell phone.  I know that she was not impressed with that phone, but it was cheap,  disposable and I had a possible non-standard use for it in my hypothetical op plan.

Once again, I let Melody drive the computers. Not because I could not do it myself, but because she was more efficient. She knew all the tricks and shortcuts. In no time at all, we had two possible locations for where The Don was taking ‘her’ parents.  Sorry Melody, but it was just easier to think of them that way. I figured that it would help mute the pain I felt sure to follow when I had to leave.

It did not take long to completely sell me on the internet from anywhere via wireless 3G.  The satellite imagery was even good enough to plan missions.  Well, not as good as what I could get from the government, but acceptable enough to get a very good idea.  On the other hand, Google’s Streetview on the tablet Melody insisted on buying was both amazing and convenient.  I could have used something like it back when I was ‘consulting’ in the former Eastern Germany. Using that, plus Google’s satellite pictures, we were able to quickly narrow it down to one location.

It was a dockside warehouse in Acapulco and according to our multiple GPS devices; we found out that it would take us 7.5 hours to reach our destination.

{“Fuck me to tears...”} I did not take that bit of news very well.

{“Dani!} Melody actually sounded shocked by my language.

Now I felt bad. {“Sorry...”}  

It was almost 10am and I wanted to beat The Don to Acapulco.  I needed some time to scout the location and take care of some business.  Business like laundering the cash for Melody’s college fund and securing some additional equipment, like SCUBA gear for the covert assault of his yacht.  I was not exactly sure of the plan, but I was pretty sure it would involve boarding the yacht at some point. Preferably tonight because I wanted to extract her parents ASAP.  There was no telling what the Don would do once he found out that his men were all dead.

I also needed some shut eye. While I could probably get by without sleep, I learned a long time ago that lack of sleep made me sloppy and sloppy gets ya dead.  It would help if Melody could drive because maybe I could get a couple hours of sleep while she drove.  With that idea in mind, I checked the fuel gauge and decided that a full tank would be a good idea to start out with since I doubted that Melody would be able to fill it up on her own.

To say that we attracted only a little attention as we filled up the R8 would be a gross understatement.  Every bleeping mechanic at the station wanted to check both the car and us out. I wanted to shoot the fuckers because I knew that they only wanted to sabotage our car so that they could arrange for some friends to ‘help’ us a few miles out of town, but Melody convinced me to let her take over and handle the ‘boys’.

{“Violence never solves anything.”} Melody sang to me as she smiled at the guys.

{“Bullshhhh..stuff!”}

Once again, I prayed that her dad had a shotgun or a Glock or something handy because as soon as she smiled at them, their greedy and leering expressions changed to something resembling fond adoration. Kind of like how they might look at one of their sisters or their mother. A light touch on this guy’s arm, a chaste hug with the other guy and in no time flat, we had a NASCAR quality pit stop with a full tank, a clean windshield, oil level checked and tire pressure adjusted to their recommended psi.  The guys even warned us of a speed trap set up just a few miles out of town.

I still watched the fuckers like a hawk to make sure they did not try to sneak something into our gas tank or rig the motor to fail a few miles out of town.

After the pit stop and a close family style hug fest where Melody gave each of the men, no matter how smelly, a hug and a sisterly kiss on the cheek; I put the Audi in gear and guided it onto the highway. I was silent for the first few miles. I had a lot to think about.

First she effortlessly charmed the Port Captain and then, she got the computer store lady to help. Both of those displays could be explained, but not this one.  Those men were ready to rob, rape and leave the rich gringo bitch for dead when Melody literally put the whammy on them.

{“Hmmm, Melody?”}

{“Yes?”}

{“Pardon my French, but how in the bleeping hell did you do that?!”}