Faint noises. Voices indistinct and echoing as though in a tunnel. Then lights — bright but blurred and I screwed my eyes shut against them.

I heard a voice, more clearly now ”She's coming round.”

I tried to speak but what came out of my mouth was more like a croak. A face appeared above me, still blurred but the words were clearer now. “Mandy, I'm Doctor Lester. You're in hospital. You've been in an accident, but you're going to be alright.”

I tried to move my hands but the right one wouldn't move. The voice went on “You've got a broken arm and some bruises. Your right arm is in plaster.”

Memories started to flood back. I remembered how the left side of the car was sliding towards to truck towering above us and how at the last moment Greg had spun the wheel so that his side of the car took the full force of the collision.

“Greg,” I croaked “Is he...?”

“Mr Thompson will be alright. He was injured too, but he will recover.”

I felt a single tear run down by cheek. Thank God for that. Greg had risked his life for me and could have been killed.

“You'll be taken to the ward soon, and you must rest now.” said Dr Lester. “I'll be back to see you later.”

I hadn't been in hospital since my transition surgery, but the routine seemed similar. Every so often a nurse arrived and checked my pulse, blood pressure and the drip that was running into my left arm. Then I would drop off to sleep again.

I was gradually coming back into the world again and eventually asked the nurse if my family had been notified. “Oh yes,” she said “Your mother is taking the train from Rockhampton and should be here tomorrow She was very relieved to hear you will be alright.”

It was some hours later that I opened my eyes and was surprised to see Marigold Thompson there beside the bed. She smiled thinly but there was no warmth in her eyes.

“Greg insisted that I come and see how you are.” she said.

“I'll live.” I replied “I've got a broken arm and some bruises. How's Greg?”

“He took the brunt of the collision — a broken right arm and leg, massive bruises and they say he may have a ruptured spleen so they're keeping a very close eye on him. He may need more surgery.”

What could I say to her? If she didn't know about Greg and me before, she certainly did now. One thing I did have to tell her.

“He saved my life you know? He spun the wheel at the last moment so that his side of the car hit the truck. I....thought you should know that.” I paused. “I suppose you've known about us for some time?” She nodded.

“It's ironic,” I went on. “That was our last time together. He was just about to tell me it was over when we rounded the corner and saw the truck.”

“I knew that too,” Marigold said “He's already got his next conquest lined up — that pretty young blonde you recently employed.”

'This is the strangest conversation,' I thought to myself.

“He'll be asking you to move out of the Sandgate apartment so that he can move her in.” She saw the look on my face. “Oh yes, I've known about the apartment for a long time.”

“Why do you....?” I began and stopped.

“Why do I put up with it? I suppose it's partly because I love him despite everything, and I'm not prepared to lose my status and lifestyle just because he can't keep his pants zipped up, so I pretend not to notice. You're a woman, you know what men are like.” Well that was one positive, she apparently didn't know about my past.

“Well, it's no good saying I'm sorry for what we've done, that would be hypocritical,” I said “But I am sorry if you have been humiliated by the way it's all come out in the open.”

Marigold managed a slight smile.”I'll cope,” she said “Anyway this will have cramped his style. He'll have to stay home with me for a while, and who knows, he might even have a change of heart, but somehow I doubt it.”

A nurse appeared around the beside curtain and said “I'm sorry but Miss Collins really needs to rest.”

“It's alright, I'm leaving now,” said Marigold, and then to me “I'll tell him you're on the mend.”

“Thank you,” I said. “Please give him my best wishes for a speedy recovery.”

After she had gone, I had things to think about. I had to find a new place to live, and I also wondered about my position at the firm. Would I have to leave? It seemed a distinct possibility.

If you want to rest, a hospital is the last place you should consider. Even throughout the night there is so much coming and going. A nurse arrived every hour or so to check my pulse and blood pressure, and there was the occasional loud noise, someone crying out, a crash which sounded like someone dropped a tray or a bedpan. I felt like I had only just dropped off to sleep when the lights came on and the breakfast trolley arrived. I ate some scrambled egg and drank some coffee. Then the nurse was back to do her checks and change the drip, saying they might be able to take it down later in the day after the doctor had seen me.

After all that excitement I was feeling tired and despite wanting to be awake for when Mum arrived which I knew would be sometime that morning, I drifted off to sleep again.

“Wake up sleepyhead.”

I'd know that voice anywhere. Lying on my back, I opened my eyes and gazed up at Mum's face, a mixture of forced amusement and concern, looking down at me.

“Mum!” I said “I'm so glad you're here. I guess they told you I'd been in the wars?”

“You certainly have,” replied Mum, leaning over to kiss me. “Judging by the picture of the car in the newspaper, it's a wonder you came out of it as well as you have.”

'Oh Lord!' I thought to myself 'It's in the papers. BTB won't like that at all — bad publicity.'

“It's not as bad as it looks,” I said, trying to sound brighter than I felt.

“Well I'm glad of that,” replied Mum “Since I've brought someone to see you.”

I heard a strange thumping noise and then another face appeared looking down at me. I stared at the face, hardly able to believe my own eyes.

“Tom!” I cried out “Oh Tom! You're standing!” and I could feel the tears starting to run down my cheeks.

“I'll go and have a cup of tea and leave you two to get reacquainted,” said Mum tactfully, and disappeared.

I realised what the noise was. Tom was on crutches, but he was definitely standing! Carefully he eased himself down onto the bedside chair, and that gave me time to compose myself. He had changed slightly in appearance — a little more mature and there was a touch of grey at his temples, but it was still the Tom I had thought about during so many lonely nights.

“Oh Tom, I must look such a mess!” I cried.

“You never look a mess, not to me anyway,” he said quietly. I extracted my left hand from under the bedclothes, and his big hand enclosed it.

“How did you hear about my accident?” I asked.

“Well, being a dutiful son, I ring my mother about once a week and as you know she and your Mum get on really well. They must have been talking about us because my Mum asked me if I was ever going to try and get in touch with you, especially with the progress in my condition. I confess I didn't give her a straight answer, though I had certainly been thinking about it. After the way I left you I thought you'd probably tell me you never wanted to hear from me again, and I couldn't bear to hear you say that.”

I smiled and shook my head. Men have so much to learn.

“Then the following day she rang me in Sydney and told me about your accident, and that was such shock. I realised that you could have died without me ever getting a chance to tell you how I feel about you, so I rang your Mum and asked if it would be alright for me to come and see you. She said 'of course', so I organised a few days off work, booked the train, and...well, here I am. I hope I did the right thing?“ he finished a little tentatively.

“Oh yes!” I replied, so vehemently that he had to smile.

“Mandy,” Tom started haltingly “The thing is it's true I've never wanted anyone else but you. I even wondered if I'd been stupid writing that letter and going away. You know I did it thinking it was for the best — for you?”

“I know,” I said softly “And your thoughtfulness is just one of the things I've always loved about you." I hesitated and then plunged on. "I have to tell you Tom that since I came to Brisbane, there's been things I've done, shameful things. I really am 'damaged goods' and it would be unfair of me not to tell you that. Even when the accident happened, you know I was with a colleague from work, a married man?”

“Mandy,” Tom covered my hand with his other hand, and it felt so good “That's all in the past now, and I'm prepared for it to stay there if you are. When I started getting feeling back in my legs, the doctors said it was a miracle, and that someone must be praying for me. I think I know who that person was.”

I knew I was blushing now. It's true in the still of the night I had prayed for him to get well, but after what I had done, I never really expected that my prayers would be answered.

“I've been so stupid. I love you Mandy,” he went on. “I've never loved anyone else and I never will. If you don't love me, then I understand, but I have to tell you now, especially as I could have lost you and never said the words.”

“Tom,” I said softly. “Are you going to kiss me?”

He leaned over the bed and our lips met. It had been so long, far too long, but now it was as though the intervening time had never been.

“I love you too Tom, always have, always will. The accident has changed me. I realise how fragile we are and how easily I might never have had the chance to tell you how I feel about you. If you've been stupid, then I've been stupid too.”

It was about this time that my Mum arrived back from a rather long tea break. She told me later that she took one look at us and knew that we were reconciled. All three of us chatted for a while and then the doctor arrived and checked me over, saying that it should be alright for me to leave hospital in a couple of days, so long as there was someone to stay with me.

Mum said she could stay with me, and also that my sisters Kate and Bessie were going to drive down and would arrive the next morning. There and then I decided that I would return to Rockhampton with them, but there were some things I had to do on my own first.

A nurse arrived to do my 'obs' and suggested that I should get more rest, so Tom and Mum said they would leave for a while and return in the afternoon. After they had gone, I asked the nurse to check discretely if Greg was alone and when she confirmed that he was, I asked if she could take me over to see him.

"Well, I shouldn't really," she said, but she smiled and brought a wheelchair to my bedside and took me to Greg's ward.

He was sitting up in bed but looking rather pale and I noticed that he was receiving a blood transfusion. He smiled when he saw me but the wattage was decidedly dimmed from the smile that usually made me go weak at the knees.

“Mandy, it's so good to see you. You are looking well.” he said.

“I see you need some of the red stuff,” I replied, looking at the bag of blood on the pole beside him.

“Yes, it turned out that my spleen was ruptured after all so they had to remove it.”

“Greg, I came to see you because I have some things to say. First I want to thank you for what you did just before we hit the truck. If you hadn't spun the car, I might not be here now. You probably saved my life.”

Greg smiled at that “Well it's what any gentleman would do.”

“I don't know about that but you did it and I'm very grateful. Another thing — I know what you were starting to say when we rounded the corner and saw the truck, and I agree with you, our relationship is over. Unfortunately, it's also out in the open and even your wife knows about it. I've therefore decided that I will leave BTB and also I'll move my things out of the apartment as soon as possible, probably in a couple of days once I'm discharged, because all my family will be here and can help me. There remains the question of what to do about the keys. I could leave them at the office, but I suggest a better option would be to leave them with Michael and James who live in the apartment below. I'm sure they will keep an eye on the flat until you can get down there.”

“The gay guys,” said Greg “Yes, I've seen how tidy their apartment is, they'd be a great choice to keep the keys.”

I didn't mention that Marigold knew about the apartment. It was up to her if she told Greg. I suddenly realised that our relationship dynamic had changed. Previously, Greg had made all the decisions and I had gone along with them. Now it was me taking the initiative and making decisions. It felt good.

“I will post in my resignation, effective immediately.” I sent on. “It will take me some time to recuperate anyway, but in view of all that has happened I think it's for the best that I leave immediately.”

“I'll be sorry to see you go.” said Greg “But I understand it's for the best. We'll give you the best reference ever. You'll be very hard to replace.” He paused and then in a quiet, almost pleading voice went on “We did have some good times didn't we?”

“Yes Greg, we did. But you know what they say 'All good things must come to an end'”

“I guess this is goodbye then.” he said.

I leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. “Goodbye Greg.” I said, and wheeled myself out of the ward and out of his life.