Your first question is the most important!

And, if you find the right person he/she will help you with a lot of the others... Do yourself a BIG favor and do NOT transition until you're working with a therapist you trust! There are a LOT of reasons for this! But, believe me, swapping the order is likely to cause more trouble than you want to deal with.

You can find a list of companies with anti-discrimination policies in HRC's CEI (sounds like confusing alphabet soup... Here'e the translation: Human Rights Campaign Corporate Equality Index.) The second index takes you to the 2011 index (they're working on the 2012 index now). To score 100% a company has to have both anti-discrimination policies AND trans medical benefits! There are also numerous Universities and some cities around the country with benefits... And even more with such policies. Some states also have Trans protection laws. As of about a year ago, about 38% of the country had such laws, but things have changed for the better in some area (MA added protection) and worse in others (states invalidated local protections). Your therapist can guide you to LOCAL resources around that.

Lots of resources abound on coming out. HRC has one at: Coming Out

Finding a therapist... That's tougher. You can get really lucky (I was, twice), or it can be difficult. Trans friendly therapists exist in all states. Important to note that there are also some who claim to be, but will practice the equivalent of "revision" therapy. Expect to spend a good bit of $$ as you convince your therapist that you are in fact TS... AND that Transition IS the right thing. (The standards of care recommend at least 12 sessions!) Once you do, your therapist should help you plan what to do and where to go. It will be YOUR plan, not your therapists.

Expect to take a LOT of "tests", many of which will seem really stupid. Then, expect to do a lot of talking - many questions will be difficult, and you may feel threatened. You can also feel like the therapist doesn't believe you (a lot depends on the style of the therapist). They're not just trying to make things hard... They are making sure you've thought things through and that you really are who / what you think you are. Ultimately, assuming you will transition, they would likely be recommending/referring you to a doctor to prescribe and monitor hormone replacement therapy, perhaps various surgeries and SRS/GCS. So, they really need to get to know you and believe this is best for you.

Finding the therapist - you can ask for referrals from people in your area, you can look in the yellow pages, you can use the American Psychological Association's referral service (online). There are many other sites with referral services as well. Pink Essence has a resource page as well.

My best advice is don't do anything quickly. As painful and hard as it is to take your time, I believe things will go smoother (with fewer bumps) if you don't rush. I don't know your age or situation, nor do I know your relationship with your parents. I know my parents took a few years to get "used" to the idea. They're supportive, mostly (as I've mentioned).

A second bit of advice is around transitioning / job. Transitioning while on the job can be difficult, unless your employer helps. But, transitioning between jobs (unless you have a LOT of experience living in your target gender) can make getting that new job much harder... Not only will you have issues with references, you'll have presentation and socialization issues.

You also need to know the laws in your state around transitioning... They vary a LOT from state to state!

Best of luck,
Annette

I wrote a full reply out and it was eaten, so...

Ignore the sexist '1950s' stereotypes and go for a career that interests you. The transition process depends far more on your colleagues than your job. I work for the government, and in the UK I have a very solid set of rules to protect me.

Process here? GP/family doctor first, and then a referral to your local nuthouse. That sounds bad, but in my case was clearly a filter. Am I mad/delusional? Nope. Am I the subject of a sudden Damascene revelation, a Tigger who has discovered what Tiggers like while watching trashy TV? Nope. Am I a sane person with GID? Yup.

Back to the GP, and a referral to what is referred to as a mental health recovery centre, and a consultant shrink. After that, a referral to the local GID clinic at Charing Cross hospital. Onwards and upwards...

With work, I came out to my immediate boss first, who is a friend, two other friends on my team, and my Union man. Then it was the Head of Office, who has been nothing but supportive. It helps that I am actually rather good at my job, and while I have several people who actively hate me I also have a lot of respect and friendship and a bloody good national support network. No, I don't look wonderful, but that's just how it goes.