I moved into the apartment a week later. I really had no furniture of my own, just the camp bed I had bought when Michelle stayed with me, and which I brought along in case anyone came to stay who would not be sharing my bed. I had a few nick-knacks of my own and wanted to put my own stamp on the apartment, including rearranging some of the furniture, but it was here I came up against a problem. Like many others, in transitioning I had lost male body strength and there was no way I could shift some of the larger pieces. Then I had an idea. I had noticed a rather handsome young man entering the ground floor apartment below mine, the day Greg showed me the apartment, and thought that by using my 'feminine wiles', I could surely get him to help me move things around.

I checked and saw that there was a car in his space, so he had to be home, so I went downstairs and knocked on the door. There was no answer, so I knocked louder and this time I heard a voice call out “Just a minute.”

The door opened shortly afterwards and there was the handsome young man, with bare feet, wearing shorts and a tee shirt and looking rather hot as though he had just been exercising.

“Hello. I'm Mandy from upstairs. I was wondering if you could possibly spare some time to help me move some furniture?”

“Oh, hello Mandy, I'm Michael. You'd better come in.” he replied.

I followed him into the apartment, and the first thing that struck me was how neat and tidy it was, nothing like a typical 'bachelor pad'. There was even a vase of flowers on the table. Then I noticed the sound of the shower running and then stopping. So he was not alone. 'Oh dear' I thought 'I could get him in trouble here, some girlfriends are so jealous'. It turned out I was completely wrong. A few seconds later the door to the bedroom opened and another handsome young man came out, wearing nothing but a towel around his midriff. He stopped when he saw me, but didn't seem particularly perturbed.

“James, this is Mandy from the upstairs apartment.” said Michael, and he did seem a little embarrassed.

“Hi James. I just came to ask for some help moving furniture. I'm sorry if I came at a bad time.”

“It's not a problem. Just give me a minute to get dressed.” said James, disappearing back into the bedroom. He was as good as his word and was back very promptly, dressed in similar shorts and tee shirt to Michael.

Michael said “Actually, do you mind waiting a few minutes for me to have a shower too? We've been out exercising and I'm rather sweaty.”

“Not at all.” I replied, “If you are kind enough to help me with the furniture, I am more than happy to wait.” So now Michael disappeared into the bedroom. It was all too obvious that 'feminine wiles' wouldn't cut it in this household, but that didn't seem to matter. Judging by the glimpse I'd just had of a rather crumpled bed, I was willing to bet that their exercise hadn't been just confined to outdoors, but who was I to criticise alternative lifestyles?

Meanwhile James, who seemed the more assertive of the two, chatted with me while we waited for Michael.

“This is a lovely apartment” I said “Did you jointly chose the furnishings?”

“As a matter of fact we did.” said James smiling “We moved in just over a year ago.”

He was relaxing now, since my comment showed I understood and acknowledged their relationship.

“As a matter of fact we're both airline stewards — how clichéd is that?” and he laughed.

“The same airline?”

“No, I'm with TAA and Michael's with Ansett. Our shifts vary, so sometimes one or other of us is here, and sometimes both.”

Just then Michael appeared once more and James said “I've just been telling Mandy about our jobs and how our shifts keep us apart at times.”

“I imagine that makes it all the more special when you are home together?” I said

“It certainly does” replied Michael.

They came upstairs with me, and after admiring the view from my big bay window, they made several helpful suggestions about where the furniture might be rearranged — ideas I certainly hadn't had.

By way of thanking them, I put the kettle on. Fortunately I'd just bought a Madeira cake, so I was able to entertain my guests in the appropriate manner.

“How did you manage to secure the apartment?” asked Michael. “Ones as good as these are scarce as hen's teeth.”

“As a matter of fact it belongs to a colleague at work.” I replied, and hesitated, but what the heck “You may see him visiting from time to time, so don't think he's a burglar!”

“Is that the man I saw you with last week?” said Michael, and I acknowledged that it was. I didn't go into details about our relationship — they could work that out for themselves.

I let my family know of my change of address of course, and Bessie wrote back saying she understood Sandgate was a very upmarket area and had I won the lottery? She came down to Brisbane about a month later and stayed with me for a night, sleeping on my camp bed. I never could keep anything from Bessie, so I explained about Greg and our arrangement.

Bessie was never judgmental about my lifestyle and merely remarked “I hope you don't get hurt, that's all.”

“I don't think so.” I replied “Greg's a nice guy and an amazing lover, but I don't love him.”

Bessie's cheeks grew a little pink at my frankness. I suppose after my life experiences to date I was used to 'telling it as it is'.

'What about you Bessie?” I said, changing the subject “Is there no-one special in your life?”

“As a matter of fact there is.” replied Bessie, her cheeks definitely pink now. “His name is Andrew and I met him at work. He's a really nice guy.”

“Good in bed too?” I said teasingly.

“As it happens he is — very good,” she laughed.

“I assume he's single,” I said “So when's he going to 'pop the question'?”

“Quite soon I believe,” she answered “But you know men.” Then she laughed “Well you should do!” Now it was my turn to go pink, but I always enjoyed sparring with her. Sometimes I felt a little guilty since I was always closer to her than to my elder sister Kate. Was it because we were closer to each other in age, or because I had never forgotten how she stood up for me when Dad first caught me dressing?

Andrew proposed to Bessie a couple of weeks later and six months later they were married. Kate and I were bridesmaids, and I think we made a very handsome trio. Bessie was more forgiving than I could ever be, and she actually invited Dad to her wedding. I felt a little nervous about that but I needn't have worried. He had aged remarkably in the intervening years, and I couldn't help thinking that they had not been kind to Gloria.

When he first saw me, he stared hard as though he couldn't believe his eyes. I didn't go out of my way to talk to him, but he eventually came up to me. He seemed embarrassed and a bit tongue-tied,but eventually came out with. “Mandy, I didn't realise it was you at first. You look....” His voice trailed off.

“Like a woman?” I said, unable to keep the bitterness out of my voice.

Dad flushed “More than a woman, a beautiful woman. Look, can you forgive me for what happened? I didn't understand, honestly I didn't.” He broke out in a fit of coughing.

What the heck? I probably wouldn't see him again, so I could afford to be generous.

“Alright, I forgive you Dad.” I said shortly, and then walked away. I wondered if this was coming from him or was it Gloria or Mum who had urged him to make his peace with me?

What I didn't know was he had cancer of the lung, perhaps not surprising after all those years of smoking and boozing. It was four months later that Bessie rang me to say he was in hospital and not expected to last long. He'd asked if I would come to see him one last time. I could hardly refuse, so I arranged time off work and booked a train for the next day. However, when Bessie met me at the station at Rockhampton she had news that Dad had died overnight.

I stayed for his funeral of course, I even gave Gloria a hug. I knew she had genuinely loved him, even if I couldn't understand why. I guess we all have good and bad in us, I should be the first to acknowledge that. I was unfortunate enough to experience the bad side of Dad, but now I'm older I can believe that it was just that he couldn't understand me, at least in the beginning.

Gloria surprised me when she took me aside at the obligatory refreshments after the service.

“Your Dad talked quite a lot about you in the last weeks,” she said “He wanted you to know how sorry he was for not understanding you when you were younger. He wanted your forgiveness. He said to me 'She's grown into such a beautiful woman. I could hardly believe it when I saw her.'”

I knew I was blushing, and worse, I had tears in my eyes, and this for a man I had hated for so many years.

“Gloria, I did forgive him. I told him so the last time I saw him, at Bessie's wedding.”

“I know you told him that, but he didn't quite believe it, and he understood why it was difficult for you to say it.”

I hugged Gloria again. “Well I did mean it Gloria, so if that was troubling him at the end, he can rest easy now.”

“Thank you,” she whispered. She really did love him.

How strange it seemed that while I didn't really mean it at Bessie's wedding, I did mean it now.