Monday morning dawned bright and clear, but I was already up and moving. I couldn’t let myself get bogged down in the memories of the night before. It wasn’t just that I’d actually tried to kill myself that I was trying to avoid. I’d told Shawn that I loved him, and then I tried to kill him.

How can I teach women to avoid abusers when I myself am an abuser?

I didn’t have time for that right now. Caroline would be arriving soon, at least I hoped so. She was a conundrum to me. She had a love of life to her, something I’d seen in the care she took of my hair, but then she let her body go, which I could tell bothered her. I only hoped I would do less harm than good this morning.

“Good morning, Caroline,” I said when she finally arrived.

“Morning…look, AJ I don’t think that…”

“You can do this? You think I let just anyone touch my hair?”

“It’s gorgeous hair.”

“And it is my one feature that is mine and no one else’s. It is my one true pride. So, if I let you touch it, plait it, cut it, then there must be something worthwhile in you.”

She blushed, and I smiled at her.

“But a swimsuit?”

“Look, the weather is getting cooler, and even here there is a limit to how long we can use the pool. I figured that it would be a great place to start.”

“But, I’m so…big.”

“And I’m not, yes. We’ve established this. You and I both know you need to eat less, so we’re not even going to discuss it. What we are going to discuss is this regimen I want you working on. The water will give resistance to your movements. The weights will help to keep you on the bottom of the pool.”

“The bottom…”

“It’s only two and a half feet at this end. Not even enough to drown little ole me.” My little lie, and the burning in my throat was enough to make me lose focus for a moment, but I pushed it away.

“Get in, Caroline, and I’ll join you.”

I lead her through a number of easy movements, or they would be easy if she was in the air. In the water, I could see her struggling a bit, and so we eased up. She began to enjoy it some after that, and when I turned on the music I think she just went with the rhythm of it all.

It was our own little water aerobics class, something that I’d actually taken part in as part of my rehab when I was ten. I didn’t mention that? Well, I mentioned the coma, and being beaten half to death. My legs were broken to the point where the doctors actually considered putting pins in them to hold them together. Considered, but never actually did. Even so, after all the time I spent in a cast immobilizing my legs and hips I had to learn how to walk again. I mentally painted a picture of Jeremy’s face on the wall at the end of the bars, and it motivated me to walk again.

The water aerobics was to help me build back up some muscle mass after the atrophy they’d gone through being stuck in that never to be more damned cast. I kept it long enough to beat Jeremy with.

I remembered the rehab, though, and I used that memory to help Caroline now. I made sure to keep her drinking water.

“But I’m not even sweating…”

“You are, you just don’t realize it because you are already soaking wet. The water is cool, but it’s not leaching enough heat from your working muscles, so your body is doing its best to shed heat. The problem is that the water is insulating your body as well. So you body sheds more moisture, to no effect. Drink water.”

When she finished the third bottle without any need to…well…use the facilities, I think she believed me.

The alarm I set went off signaling my need to get ready for school.

“That’s it for today.”

“Already?”

“It’s been two hours, Caroline.”

“What? No way has it been that long. I’ve never…I mean how could I have lost track…”

“Because we were doing something that fit more with your personality than you’ve tried before? The water also made you feel less like you normally do on land. It supported a lot of your weight.”

“You mean it made me feel like less of a beached whale?” There was a brittle quality to her voice.

“I would never have said that, Caroline. You know that people make judgments about your size, I mean you make judgments about your size. I really mean it, though, by exercising in the water, we took away a good portion of your weight, while utilizing your bulk at the same time.

“There are swimmers who wear sweats when they are practicing to get what you do just by being you. You have more resistance in the water, making your muscles work at it more to get the same effect.”

“Fine, Princess Anne, let’s get your hair dry and in form so you can get to school.”

My smile faded as I remember I am back on restriction. “I have to stay here today.”

“Then we’d better make the hairstyle extra special.”

I smiled at that, and helped her out of the pool. I went to shower in my en suite after showing her the guest room with its own attached bath. I rinsed the chlorine out of my hair and then used conditioner to replace some of the oils that had been stripped. I’d wash it after school, I just didn’t have the time now.

I got ready in the outfit that I’d laid out, and then Caroline was there and working on my hair.

There was a liveliness to her that I’d never seen before. Her hands moved quickly and with purpose, and before I knew it, the style was done. She wove fifteen or twenty small braids into my hair and plaited them together loosely to capture the unbraided hair in a net. The smaller braids had a silvery ribbon plaited into them, which made it seem as though I had silver threads holding my hair up, and it was up. It wasn’t piled on top of my head, and neither was it tight. It sort of reminded me of some period dramas that I’d pretended to hate, but watched anyway with my mom a few years ago, but somehow it was new and in fashion at the same time.

“Caroline, you are a goddess among women.”

“You like it?”

“I just hope it doesn’t make even more boys want to ask me to the stupid dance.”

She laughed at that and bid me adieu. Well, with the period hair, I had to have a period farewell.

I logged in and checked out who would be with me online. My absence from school was noted. I had fifty requests for private chats after first period. How that many people knew about it I’ll never know. How come I was so popular all of the sudden?

I allowed the requests from Kelly and Jasmine, and they flooded me with questions.

“What happened over the weekend?” Jasmine asked.

“Are you alright?” Kelly gushed.

“Yes, I’m fine. I beat up a court bailiff who was trying to kill his wife so for the time being I’m back under house arrest.”

“Oh, is that all…” Jasmine said rolling her eyes at me.

“Yes, that’s all,” I said sticking my tongue out at her.

“Start at the beginning, girlfriend, and bring us up to speed.”

I rolled my eyes at Kelly’s continued use of the term and then told them about the class on Saturday, Andrew and Sandra, Shawn, the assault, Shawn…and well.

“You kissed him, I’m almost jealous enough right now that I don’t want to be your friend.”

“But that would mean missing out on all the inside gossip, Kelly,” Jasmine replied. I just smiled at the two of them. They really were my friends.

“Anyway, I’m going into my next class, and I’ll try to discreetly pass the information along so you’re not mobbed during the next break.” Kelly said in reply.

We said our goodbyes and moved on to our next classes.

.-.. .. -. . -... .-. . .- -.-
The rest of the day was lackluster, with no real exceptions. I still got a number of requests from boys to chat privately, but they weren’t what I was expecting.

“Will you go to the dance with me?”

I know that Andrew told me that the ratio was two to one, but that should mean that I only got asked a maximum of five or six times.

“I’ve already asked someone else.” I say for the twelfth time this break. At this rate I will have said no to the entire male student body by the end of the day.

“Who?”

“Someone who doesn’t go to this school. He’s my boyfriend.”

“Who is he?”

“Shawn Harris.”

The boy laughed at me until I started getting visibly upset. “Um, never mind, if you say you’re going with Shawn, then I get that.”

The prediction that I would say no to the male student body fell short, as they stopped requesting chats shortly after that.

.-.. .. -. . -... .-. . .- -.-
“Done,” I said to myself with a smile. One thing about being under house arrest again, at least it made focusing on my schoolwork easier.

‘And here I thought it was because Shawn wasn’t here to bother you.’

“Don’t start that again, miss prissy pants.”

“Who are you calling a prissy pants?”

“Shawn?” I said with a little squeal.

“I do not have prissy pants.”

I threw my arms around him before I even remembered that I’d hurt him the night before.

“Hey, AJ,” he said, lifting me up with a smile and his arms.

“Hey yourself, Shawn,” I said after we kissed.

“I wanted to wish you luck with tomorrow.”

“Thank you,” I say with a little smile.

“Love the hair.”

“Caroline is to blame. She wanted to give me something special because I was stuck at home today.”

“Who’s Caroline?”

“My hair stylist. I’m sure I mentioned her…”

“No, Princess, you didn’t.”

“I’m not…”

“A princess? You live in a castle. You have at least one servant, someone who just does your hair. You are beautiful. Did I mention you live in a castle?”

“This isn’t a castle.”

“No, just the modern day equivalent of one.”

“Anne-Jeanette, I’d like you to try something on before tomorrow…hi, Shawn.”

“Hi, Mandy. And your mom makes you one of a kind dresses.”

Mom was holding something that was too short to be called a dress, but too long to be a shirt. It had an asymmetrical hem, and would cover everything up top, while giving no mistake that I had a feminine body.

It slipped on easily, without being too tight. It fit, just like I knew it would. It also seemed designed to go with the knee-length skirt I was wearing. Normally I’d think that the asymmetrical hem of the top would clash with the symmetrical hem of the skirt, but somehow it brought the two of them together. I walked back out from the bathroom to show Shawn, and my mom, the effect.

“Wow, that’s…amazing.”

Shawn’s jaw was a bit slack, and I just grinned at him. “So, Mr. Harris, would you go to the school dance with me?” I asked sweetly.

He nodded, and then shook his head, “huh, what?”

“There’s a school dance in a couple of weeks, and I know you owe me nothing after last night, but I wanted you to go with me, that is if you don’t have any plans. It’s ok if you…”

“Yes, I’d like to go with you to the dance.”

Again a girly sound escaped my chest and I just grinned at him. At least until my mom cleared her throat.

“One slight problem, we don’t know whether or not you can even go at this point, Anne-Jeanette.”

I sort of just said something like, “he said yes,” in this goofy way and my mom rolled her eyes at me. For the first time, no one cared that I liked boys, and I was happy that it was that way. I could ask a boy out if I wanted, or kiss a boy, or whatever I liked, and the most I got was rolled eyes.

“Look, you two, no funny business. Anne-Jeanette, I need the top back so I can finish it before tomorrow.”

I went back into the bathroom to swap out the top I was wearing, and handed it back to my mom, and then Shawn came into my room and joined me on the bed.

I shied away from him at first, who wouldn’t, but he simply sat there next to me and waited for me to initiate contact. I thought for a moment of helping him along, but thought that would be in the ‘no funny business’ proscription that mom left behind so I just went in for some kissing.

He gently lay me down on the bed, and for the first time, I didn’t feel trapped. I felt loved. I wanted for him to be able to have his way with me, and knew that he would move at my pace should we go in that direction. I felt little Shawn rubbing against my leg, and thought I might begin to have a reaction of my own, but it never came.

I could feel my heart racing, and my chest felt…wonderful, but there was no reaction from my own penis, and that was enough to get me to completely stop. Had it ever reacted, or had that just been my wishful thinking.

“Anne-Jeanette?”

I just smiled up at him, and smoothed out his brow with my hands. “Don’t worry about it,” I said softly. I traced his lips with a forefinger, and he playfully bit at it. I giggled.

“Do you like me?”

“I like you a lot, AJ.”

I wondered if that was enough. I knew that he was interested in sex, and that sex with me interested him as well, but was it more than that? Would he last for longer than just the sex? My face must have clouded over because he rolled off of me and sat up next to me in the bed.

“Look, I know you think you love me, and you may be right, but I can’t just say the words to make you happy. I’m not going to lie like that. When I know if it’s true, I’ll tell you. Till then, can you just accept that I like you more than any other girl that I’ve met?”

“How much do you like me?”

“You’re infuriatingly cute sometimes, you know that?”

“I’m cute all the time.”

“Nope, you’re just gorgeous all the time. It’s the in-between times that you’re cute.”

I just blushed and pulled him in for another kiss when there was a coughing noise from the doorway.

I looked up to see my dad there with a stern look on his face.

“Not up to anything indecent with my daughter are you, Shawn.”

“Dad!” I shrieked and threw a pillow at him. He just smiled at me. “Your mother says that dinner will be ready in a couple of minutes and could the two of you keep it down? We can hear you in the kitchen.”

Shawn just laughed as I went completely red with embarrassment. Dad joined in on the laughter.